Things that I find mildly irritating v.2

[Ben_Jamin]

Maybe we need an AITA? thread.

Long story short - a good friend is having a birthday party this weekend at his house.  But it's going to be hotter than hades and they don't have AC so I offered to host the party (12 ppl) at our fully AC'd house and they said that would be great.  So far so good, right?

One couple is traveling from about 5 hours away to attend.  During the pandemic they - along with about a million other people - got a puppy...an adorable puppy who is now about 9 months old.  Now I like dogs and I like puppies but we have 3 cats who beg to differ.  So I offered to host the party without thinking about this puppy situation and now that I'm saying, "Hey, I don't think it would be a good fit to have your puppy in our house can we come up with some alternative to where the puppy might be." the woman is saying they aren't going to come after all.

AITA?

It will be too hot to leave Fido outside and plus, he barks.  Normally this is not a big deal but that means they can't leave him alone in the hotel room.  And the other thing is that about a year ago, I had to contact our local animal control because our neighbors dogs were left outside to bark for HOURS and HOURS and they wouldn't do anything about it until they received an official letter that if they didn't deal with the barking they could be fined $500 per every 5 minutes of barking.  (It worked!) So of course, having a barking dog in our shady backyard would be very hypocritical of us.

I feel terrible that this is the deal breaker for them to come but at the same time this doesn't feel like my problem to have to manage.

Here I thought I was doing a good deed and now it feels like I'm the host sucking all the fun out of the party.   

So many variables with that situation.

1. The pet is likely why as well, he wanted to have the party at his place. But also, I would like to know if HE even knew they were gonna bring a pet?

2. It's not your fault. How were you to know they were gonna bring a pet?

3. It's their pet. Their responsibility in owning a pet is to find accommodations for the pet. That responsibility should not lay onto you. And if they can't find any, tough luck for them.

4. That's just the consequences you have because you demanded something be done. And now set the precedent for the neighborhood, where now you are in a situation where a dog barking for long would not be an issue. So, that's on you.


If you really wanted to, why not just find an accommodation for your cats? Like leave them in a room. It's compromising to have them there with their dogs, rather than them not coming at all.



Also...what does AITA mean?

[King Postwhore]

Everybody pitch in to buy an AC for the birthday. Give the present early and have everyone at their house.

[Ben_Jamin]

Everybody pitch in to buy an AC for the birthday. Give the present early and have everyone at their house.

Now that's friendship.... 

[King Postwhore]

Plus everyone feels good to help, everyone enjoys each other and all are happy.

[pg1067]

Never in my life have I been invited to a party and thought to myself "I'm sure my dog/cat/fish will have a great time!" On a couple of occasions I have thought to myself "wow, what kind of asshole has to take his dog to somebody else's party?"

Ditto that.

My wife volunteered to puppysit for friends of hers this past weekend (after my daughter and I got back from a week in Alaska).  It went about as well as it could have, but it was still a four month old puppy (large breed, so it's somewhere in the 40-50# range, which is about the size of our own dog).  All I can say is that I'm damn glad her friends came back early, so the dog went home yesterday instead of today.

[TAC]

Also...what does AITA mean?

Am I the asshole?

[Harmony]

So many variables with that situation.

1. The pet is likely why as well, he wanted to have the party at his place. But also, I would like to know if HE even knew they were gonna bring a pet?

2. It's not your fault. How were you to know they were gonna bring a pet?

3. It's their pet. Their responsibility in owning a pet is to find accommodations for the pet. That responsibility should not lay onto you. And if they can't find any, tough luck for them.

4. That's just the consequences you have because you demanded something be done. And now set the precedent for the neighborhood, where now you are in a situation where a dog barking for long would not be an issue. So, that's on you.


If you really wanted to, why not just find an accommodation for your cats? Like leave them in a room. It's compromising to have them there with their dogs, rather than them not coming at all.



Also...what does AITA mean?

1.  The birthday couple were aware of the dog issue but they hadn't really gotten that far in figuring out a solution yet.  Everyone in this group are animal lovers and 3 of the couples got dogs during the pandemic.  The birthday couple have 2 cats.  Their house is unique in that the basement area can be completely closed off and it would not impact the party area.

2.  I knew they had gotten the puppy and that they were going to be traveling 5 hours, rent a hotel room, and stay overnight.  If I had really stopped and thought, I would've realized it was going to become an issue.  I think they have a hard time being away from the puppy for any length of time and when they do leave it, they leave it at one of those doggie daycare places where he gets a lot of attention and exercise.

3.  You are correct

4.  Correct again

2 of the cats don't get along with the 3rd.  We even have 2 separate electric litter boxes that are a PITA to move.  So to put them in their own room would be 2 rooms and moving 2 liter boxes.  We could probably do this but the other thing is that we just spent a ton of money remodeling much of our home and I really don't want a puppy chewing on my new furniture and scratching up my new hardwood floors.  So there are other things at play in my head too, not just the cats.  I really just wanted us to all get together and have some post-Covid fun without a lot of stress and worry.  Having a puppy in my house would definitely not be a stress free evening for me.  But it feels like it's going to go that way.

AITA = "Am I the Asshole?"

[Ben_Jamin]

Honestly...No, you are not the asshole.

It's just a circumstance you all chose yourself.

Your friend could very well have told you "No. We're gonna have it here."

He took your generous offer. I myself, wouldn't consider you an asshole if we all knew about the dogs.

It's just one of those human faults of not realizing what we agreed to, only until we have sat down and started to consider all the little details involved.

[wolfking]

Hey Harmony, fuck them. 

The people who's party it is agreed to take up your offer so why is this other couples dog your responsibility all of a sudden?  What were they going to do with the dog if it was at the original location?  So they get shitty and throw a tantrum that they won't come at all now?  Fine, piss off then.  You don't want a dog barking the whole time and shifting everywhere anyway.

[jingle.boy]

I don't think it's your problem to solve. It's the birthday-friend's issue to resolve.  They are still the "host" of the *PARTY*, you're simply providing a new/different venue.  And these are the rules of the venue.  What if it was non-COVID, and the party had 100 people and was being hosted at a rented out restaurant / hall or something.  What if this puppy-owning couple were going to a wedding.  I can KINDA understand their point, but unless the birthday friend friend explicitly told them it was ok to bring the puppy, they're completely off-sides here.  Still, not your problem to solve - it's on the birthday boy/girl.

[Stadler]

Never in my life have I been invited to a party and thought to myself "I'm sure my dog/cat/fish will have a great time!" On a couple of occasions I have thought to myself "wow, what kind of asshole has to take his dog to somebody else's party?"

I'm with you; I have three dogs and it's actually a topic of conversation with my wife; if we can't account for our dogs OURSELVES - meaning, leave them home, get someone to watch them, whatever - then we don't go. And there are a number of things we DON'T go to because of the dogs.   They are OUR dogs, and OUR burdens, no one else's.    Except in the most egregious circumstances, I would never ever in a million years call someone who is hosting a party and make MY dog the issue.

Not an asshole.

[Adami]

It's also possible no one is the a-hole in that story. Maybe, for whatever reason, they can't leave the dog at home for that long alone and just chose to stay home with it in this case. It might just be fine.



Wait, is this in LA? Cause if so, then they're just annoying LA people.

[Harmony]

It's also possible no one is the a-hole in that story. Maybe, for whatever reason, they can't leave the dog at home for that long alone and just chose to stay home with it in this case. It might just be fine.

So it seems that this is pretty much it.  What I'm hearing now is that even when at home after 3 hours at doggie daycare Fido is super stressed out.  It's some sort of herding breed which tend to be more high strung and need lots of attention.   There really isn't going to be any workable solution and the woman in this couple is going to stay home while her husband travels up for the party.

FTR, I love these guys and they are also my friends.  I really wanted to see them because since they've moved so far away, we haven't been as close and I miss them.  I really had hoped we could work it out, but she is making the choice to stay back and as long as nobody's feelings are hurt, then this seems to be the best solution for everyone.

This may not pertain to anything but this couple is childless by choice and while they've had cats over the years, this is their first dog and I'm wondering if the separation anxiety is more on my friend's heart than it truly is a puppy issue.  But I don't know much about dogs so maybe this is just a phase of it and as my friend said in her last email, it will get easier as he gets older.

But damn, I'm never had so much stress over doing a good deed.  I guess the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions.   

[Ben_Jamin]

It's also possible no one is the a-hole in that story. Maybe, for whatever reason, they can't leave the dog at home for that long alone and just chose to stay home with it in this case. It might just be fine.

So it seems that this is pretty much it.  What I'm hearing now is that even when at home after 3 hours at doggie daycare Fido is super stressed out.  It's some sort of herding breed which tend to be more high strung and need lots of attention.   There really isn't going to be any workable solution and the woman in this couple is going to stay home while her husband travels up for the party.

FTR, I love these guys and they are also my friends.  I really wanted to see them because since they've moved so far away, we haven't been as close and I miss them.  I really had hoped we could work it out, but she is making the choice to stay back and as long as nobody's feelings are hurt, then this seems to be the best solution for everyone.

This may not pertain to anything but this couple is childless by choice and while they've had cats over the years, this is their first dog and I'm wondering if the separation anxiety is more on my friend's heart than it truly is a puppy issue.  But I don't know much about dogs so maybe this is just a phase of it and as my friend said in her last email, it will get easier as he gets older.

But damn, I'm never had so much stress over doing a good deed.  I guess the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions.   

I don't understand why you would get stressed over someone else's feelings.

Wouldn't this be a good example of being over-considerate and worrying about things out of your control and causing unnecessary stress?

It's like a clash of your feelings versus theirs. Your stressing because they're not coming now because you won't let them have their dog at your home. They should understand why because it's your house and they chose to have a dog. You started to place worry and feel sorry for them, when they in fact, compromised and made a solution for the situation. Who knows if it caused them stress, but that's their situation to worry about and not a situation you should stress yourself over.

And now you're wondering if your friend has seperation anxiety because she chose to stay with a dog because they chose to not have a child? Why are you labelling and putting a condition to someone without even asking how they feel about it. That's judgement of ones feelings and situations.

I don't know. It just seems like your putting unnecessary stress on yourself, by overthinking how you think your friends feel, and worrying about their feelings to the point where you even consider yourself an asshole.

[Harmony]

And now you're wondering if your friend has seperation anxiety because she chose to stay with a dog because they chose to not have a child? Why are you labelling and putting a condition to someone without even asking how they feel about it. That's judgement of ones feelings and situations.

I don't know. It just seems like your putting unnecessary stress on yourself, by overthinking how you think your friends feel, and worrying about their feelings to the point where you even consider yourself an asshole.

How do you know if I've asked her about her feelings or not?

And yeah, we've been friends for 30 years, so I guess I do care about their feelings.  Weird, I guess.   

[Ben_Jamin]

And now you're wondering if your friend has seperation anxiety because she chose to stay with a dog because they chose to not have a child? Why are you labelling and putting a condition to someone without even asking how they feel about it. That's judgement of ones feelings and situations.

I don't know. It just seems like your putting unnecessary stress on yourself, by overthinking how you think your friends feel, and worrying about their feelings to the point where you even consider yourself an asshole.

How do you know if I've asked her about her feelings or not?

And yeah, we've been friends for 30 years, so I guess I do care about their feelings.  Weird, I guess.   

I do not. But did you ask?

But also, it is causing you stress to the point of you feeling bad about it.

But that's life, as well. We are not all perfect. And your situation is just that, human foibles.

No need to over analyze the situation to the point where you put yourself down and consider yourself an asshole.

[Chino]

Packages that require signatures and how there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I just had a $69 vacuum sealer not get delivered because I was in a meeting and couldn't get to the door to sign for it. I don't get it. How do they determine what needs a signature and what doesn't? I've had Playstations, Bose equipment, and $500 remote controls just dropped on my doorstep without so much as a knock, yet a $69 kitchen appliance needs a signature? What gives? 

[Stadler]

The Amazon return policy is equally as incomprehensible.   

I ordered a used Ace Frehley CD that was the wrong release, and I did a return, and they told me "keep it", even though they refunded my money.   The seller, a private seller, contacted me and said he was out the money AND the CD.  I actually sent it back to him (yes, I know I may have been scammed, but I can sleep at night.  It's happened on two other occasions for me (both auto parts).  TWICE there have been stories on the local news where multiple packages were delivered, and Amazon said "keep them" while refunding the money.

Then, my daughter ordered a hat and it came in the wrong color; she was traveling, and didn't know if the new one would come in time, and I said "don't sweat it; the odds are you won't have to return the old one, just wear that one for the time being".   Sure as shit is green, they wanted her to drop it off at a local Amazon return center. Go figure.

[cramx3]

Packages that require signatures and how there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I just had a $69 vacuum sealer not get delivered because I was in a meeting and couldn't get to the door to sign for it. I don't get it. How do they determine what needs a signature and what doesn't? I've had Playstations, Bose equipment, and $500 remote controls just dropped on my doorstep without so much as a knock, yet a $69 kitchen appliance needs a signature? What gives?

A few months ago when my GPU fried, I bought two on amazon both similar products at similar prices.  Both said they required signature but one of them was dropped off while I wasn't home, the other I had to pick up at a UPS store because I wasn't home.  I was very confused by this.

[pg1067]

I'm not sure this is even mildly irritating, but there really isn't a better place for it.

I was reading a social media post about a very mundane topic, and someone referred to her older brother who "passed" before she was born.

I don't get why people insist on "passed away" or "passed," and it always comes across to me as pandering or something like that.  If I've "passed," it means I've succeeded on a test or in a class.  If I'm dead, then I've DIED, not "passed."

Is this just a me thing?

[Stadler]

I'm not sure this is even mildly irritating, but there really isn't a better place for it.

I was reading a social media post about a very mundane topic, and someone referred to her older brother who "passed" before she was born.

I don't get why people insist on "passed away" or "passed," and it always comes across to me as pandering or something like that.  If I've "passed," it means I've succeeded on a test or in a class.  If I'm dead, then I've DIED, not "passed."

Is this just a me thing?

NO, I'm with you.   I cringe during the Memorial Day and Veterans Day holidays when they break out the "ultimate sacrifice" euphemism, usually delivered with that solemn voice that broadcasters use.

[cramx3]

I'm not sure this is even mildly irritating, but there really isn't a better place for it.

I was reading a social media post about a very mundane topic, and someone referred to her older brother who "passed" before she was born.

I don't get why people insist on "passed away" or "passed," and it always comes across to me as pandering or something like that.  If I've "passed," it means I've succeeded on a test or in a class.  If I'm dead, then I've DIED, not "passed."

Is this just a me thing?

I wouldn't say it really bothers me at all, but I totally get what you are saying.  It reminds me of George Carlin talking about language and how we change words to make them sound better emotionally. example: shell shock -> PTSD

[TAC]

I "passed" the cart corral with my carriage. I went right "past" it.

[pg1067]

It reminds me of George Carlin talking about language and how we change words to make them sound better emotionally. example: shell shock -> PTSD

When this first came to mind, that Carlin routine was the first thing I thought about.  I believe the theme was "soft language."  It's like pretending something didn't happen.

I "passed" the cart corral with my carriage. I went right "past" it.

[Stadler]

Without objectifying her, I do not find Lisa Kudrow irritating.   

[pg1067]

Without objectifying her, I do not find Lisa Kudrow irritating.   

[KevShmev]

Packages that require signatures and how there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I just had a $69 vacuum sealer not get delivered because I was in a meeting and couldn't get to the door to sign for it. I don't get it. How do they determine what needs a signature and what doesn't? I've had Playstations, Bose equipment, and $500 remote controls just dropped on my doorstep without so much as a knock, yet a $69 kitchen appliance needs a signature? What gives?

That is usually in the fine print of whatever carrier is used to ship it.  Many times, you have to authorize "can deliver without a signature" ahead of time rather than just assuming they will do it, for liability purposes, as you (the general "you, not you personally) could say you never received it even though you really did.  As someone who manages accounts for customers who move freight all over the place, trust me, getting signed POD's and having any possible issues notated (damage, anything missing, etc.) is crucial on the off chance you ever have to file a claim.

[cramx3]

It reminds me of George Carlin talking about language and how we change words to make them sound better emotionally. example: shell shock -> PTSD

When this first came to mind, that Carlin routine was the first thing I thought about.  I believe the theme was "soft language."  It's like pretending something didn't happen.

Yes! I was at work and couldn't look up the skit name so I summed it up, but now I'm watching "soft language" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o25I2fzFGoY

"The pain is completely buried under jargon"

[TAC]

"I won't have to die, I'll pass away"

pg67 is on board with this!!

[Cool Chris]

So I've noticed on my YouTube app after the first couple videos on the landing page there is this new thing called Shorts^Beta that seems to predominantly feature women in tight clothes doing stupid, pointless stuff. Now, I am all for women in tight clothes, but can we just keep this crap on TikTok where it belongs?

[Kotowboy]

I wanna go back to when the last 10 seconds of every single YouTube video didn't have massive squares over it to link you to other videos to watch.

They should be on a seperate screen AT THE END like they used to be. Now they're seemingly mandatory and even cover up important info in the video. . .

[Kotowboy]

ALSO :

" A Video You really wanna watch "

" PREMIERES in 5 days ! "

  Fine tell me THEN.

[Spiritus]

I wanna go back to when the last 10 seconds of every single YouTube video didn't have massive squares over it to link you to other videos to watch.

They should be on a seperate screen AT THE END like they used to be. Now they're seemingly mandatory and even cover up important info in the video. . .

That is more than irritating to me. What a fucking stupid idea and I can't believe not enough people complained yet to have this shit removed.

[Ben_Jamin]

I wanna go back to when the last 10 seconds of every single YouTube video didn't have massive squares over it to link you to other videos to watch.

They should be on a seperate screen AT THE END like they used to be. Now they're seemingly mandatory and even cover up important info in the video. . .

That is more than irritating to me. What a fucking stupid idea and I can't believe not enough people complained yet to have this shit removed.

Not many people actually care about it.

What's worse is putting ads in the middle of a sentence, or the middle of a song. Let the ads be at the beginning or the end, not in the middle of an epic song where it kills the mood.

[XJDenton]

Starting a new thread, because this one is getting huge.

https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=56599