If you died tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

[TAC]

[LudwigVan]

I used to have real regrets.  Not the passing half-ass regrets we all get regularly.  Real wishing that I could go back to a certain point in time to avoid pain and mistakes.

Then I had children, and realized that if I didn't do things specifically as I did, my children might have ended up very different...if I even ended up having kids at all.  It gave me peace with my choices in life.

Given the same circumstances, we would all make the same decisions anyway. If we were able to bring our experiences and knowledge back we might make changes...but that is called time travel and not what we are really talking about.

I think about this a lot, and I think you could say it's one of those things I've learned along the way.  I used to think that we were in control of EVERYTHING, and each moment of each day was chock full of individual decisions that WE made and we COULD make, and the world was our oyster waiting for us to run roughshod over it.  I think it was actually El Barto that introduced that idea that we're wired the way we are, and what we think is pure free will maybe isn't.  (I hope I get this right, but) maybe we have a predilection for a certain number of finite choices, but the palate really isn't that broad or infinite for each of us.  As a result, even if that idea is wrong, I've come to be kinder to myself about the way I've handled certain things - though I still don't like those times I've hurt people - and I've tried to recognize those moments where it was, for better or worse, "me being me".

I've been thinking about how I might answer this thread over the last few days. I keep coming back to...I really don't know what I would've done differently.

Well, that’s because we’re all part of The Matrix anyway.

[PetFish]

Not saying you were commenting directly on my thoughts (and it's all good if you are), but as your post follows mine, I will simply add that I stand by my comments. Just because you find it hard to believe doesn't make it any less true. Wide range of answers in this thread, undoubtably relfecting a wide-range of perspectives and life-situations.

As for anyone who has commented on the whole 'kids' thing, as someone who has dealt with a pair of misscarriages (one was a 'late-term' that required a dangerous surgrry), my heart goes out to you. I've experienced some messed up things in my past, but having to watch my wife go through what she's gone through has completely recalibrated my idea of what 'hard' is.

If you don't want kids, great, if you have them, God bless you, and if you want them but can't, I sincerely feel for you.

Not commenting on yours directly or I would have quoted.  I say this same thing to whomever I'm talking to who brings up "no regrets".

[PetFish]

I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, Master of none.  I'm really good/great at a lot of things but not awesome at any one thing and if I "knew then what I know now" and could do it all over again I'd definitely do something about it.

I'm kind of in that boat, too; but I've sort of accepted that for what it is.   To say, "if I knew then what I know now" at least means you've learned something along the way.   I'm bummed about that, but I can sleep at night knowing that I've progressed, advanced.  I know too many people (including close to me) that simply haven't learned a damn thing in 25 years.  They're still making the same mistakes they made back in high school.

Yep.  I find it difficult these days to hang out with my best friends I've had since childhood.

I'm not saying for them to stop acting/speaking like kids (eg. poop jokes, swearing every 3rd word, etc) but there's a time and place for everything but to be constantly doing it makes me eyeroll and kinda wish I wasn't around them at that point, especially if we're out for dinner.  Even having our wives with us doesn't stop them from acting like this, which I guess is cool, cuz they married us and stay with us when we act this way.

Come on, man, we're all 50 years old now, aren't you tired of saying the same things and telling the same stories?

[Phoenix87x]

Just randomly thinking about this today.

If I could go back to the start of college again, I would have liked to have gotten a bachelor's in psychology instead of film. That's a regret, but nothing major.

[Kotowboy]

I wouldn’t regret being DED 😅😅.


I probably should have asked a few people out.  

[Stadler]

Just randomly thinking about this today.

If I could go back to the start of college again, I would have liked to have gotten a bachelor's in psychology instead of film. That's a regret, but nothing major.

I had that conversation with my wife late last week, sort of.  Not to go back and do it all over, but if I won the lottery, I'd go for my PhD in psychology.   Fascinating field, and more and more I'm noticing Psychology majors (and masters) in business. 

[Chino]

I feel like I either have hundreds of regrets, or very view. There's lots of stuff that I wish I did differently, or did at all for that matter. I wish I approached college differently, but I don't know if I would consider that a "regret". I made the choices I did because of what I knew and felt at the time. It's easy to put thoughts into my 18yo version's head at the age of 33, knowing what I know now. But I'm not sure if stuff like that counts as a regret or not.

[Stadler]

I feel like I either have hundred of regrets, or very view. There's lots of stuff that I wish I did differently, or did at all for that matter. I wish I approached college differently, but I don't know if I would consider that a "regret". I made the choices I did because of what I knew and felt at the time. It's easy to put thoughts into my 18yo version's head at the age of 33, knowing what I know now. But I'm not sure if stuff like that counts as a regret or not.

I understand this feeling.  It's hard sometimes with that knowledge (if that is what it is) of age.  I think for my sanity - to stay out of the rabbit hole - I have to take the position that "it happened the way it had to be".