If you died tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

[WilliamMunny]

No.  Even with the various mistakes I have made, I am blessed beyond measure.

This sums up my thoughts exactly.

Do I wish I'd accomplished more with my various bands and writing projects? Sure, but at the end of the day, and especially after the last year, I wake up every morning just thankful to be alive and to have a healthy wife and kid.

It's all going to end at some point, but at this point in my life (and at 40, I can honestly say it wasn't always this way), I regret nothing because all of my decisions led me to what I have, which honestly feels like more than any man deserves.

[wolfking]

I live in constant regret, so I guess my answer is yes. Most of it has to do with how I am wired. I've mentioned this before, but having learned about my son's autism has made me realize I am probably someone in that boat as well. My complete inability to interact with people in person has always held me back. I see someone I know and my first instinct is to immediately change directions and get away from said person so they don't see me and I won't have to talk to them. The fact that I do this with people I genuinely like is even more baffling to me.

I fully admit that I am a ball of untapped potential and it mostly has to do with the fact that I cannot focus in a learning environment. I know I could be way more than I am and be making way more money than I am and giving my family a better life than they have. Not that it's bad, but it could be so much more.

My doctor had to put me on meds for OCD which has helped me a bit. I used to focus only on the bad and could never enjoy anything. If anything, that makes the regret worse because it made me take more in.

Yikes, that was depressing.

Mate, I actually do this also.  It's weird, and I'm not sure why.  I've always had a bit of a social anxiety issue though.

I don't think you can regret things if it's just the way you are.  Embrace it mate, and know you are doing the best person you can be, constraints and all.

[PetFish]

I have many regrets and will still have more before it's all over.

Kudos to you if it's actually true that you have none, but I find it very hard to believe anyone who says they have zero regrets.  Even if your life is great now, and everything worked out, there were still choices to make in your past and I'm sure some of those wanted a re-do.  Assuming a current "great life" and also assuming everything ended up great no matter what, it's really tough to say you had no regrets.

Saying something like "I regret getting a Coke instead of a Diet Coke" doesn't count.


Here are a few of mine:

- Getting trapped in retail out of high school.
It was comfortable and easy, and I was too chicken to actually do something with my life/education.  I've always been smart and capable and all that, just not "hungry" enough, and it hurt me in the long run.  It wasn't until I finally got out of retail at 35 that I finally went back to school (community college) and got into healthcare as a pharmacy technician.

If only I had done it right out of high school I'd be a full-on pharmacist or even a doctor cuz I know now what it's all about and could have easily done it if I had any balls 30 years ago.  At the very least I could have had a great unionized city position at my hospital for 40+ years instead of 25+ and get maximum benefits for a lot longer.


- Not pursuing music.
I had a lot of promise in my early 20s and was always being courted by others to be in their band and actually try and make a go of it but, again, too comfortable and no balls.


- Breaking up with my g/f (now wife) for a few months.
Sure, it all worked out, but it very easily couldn't have, and the amount of sorrow I caused still makes me cry more than a few times per year.  Not to get too deep but I probably wouldn't be around if we hadn't gotten back together.

I was in a terrible time in my life having just turned 30 and seeing what I hadn't done and out of desperation figured I'd try a clean slate and removed the one person I knew I couldn't live without in some delusional hope that my life would get better.


- Not pursuing athletics.
I had a good chance to do something with hockey (here in Canada) but just didn't want to give it 100%.  Same with football, although most likely I had no chance (here in Canada) unless I went to a school in the US.  I think tennis was probably my best shot at going somewhere.


Anyway, probably a lot of TMI, but it felt good to talk a little about it with you guys here.

I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, Master of none.  I'm really good/great at a lot of things but not awesome at any one thing and if I "knew then what I know now" and could do it all over again I'd definitely do something about it.

[Cool Chris]

ProfessorPeart, that was touching what you wrote. That doesn't describe me perfectly, but there are hints in what you said that jumped right out at me, as if I had written it myself.

[Adami]

I have many regrets and will still have more before it's all over.

Kudos to you if it's actually true that you have none, but I find it very hard to believe anyone who says they have zero regrets.  Even if your life is great now, and everything worked out, there were still choices to make in your past and I'm sure some of those wanted a re-do.  Assuming a current "great life" and also assuming everything ended up great no matter what, it's really tough to say you had no regrets.

Sometimes it's just a matter of philosophy or outlook. I'm someone with no regrets. When I say that, I mean that I wouldn't change any of my mistakes or bad things that happened to me because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, and since I'm quite fond of the person I am today, I need those mistakes and tragedies to stay just where they are. I get it that not everyone feels that way, but I just wanted to give a different perspective why someone might not have regrets. Doesn't mean they don't have a lot of bad choices and bad events that happened.

[TAC]

So Professor Peart and Kingshmegland, I appreciate your posts, and I really feel for you guys.

Peart, I'm sure it helps you empathize with your son, and Joe..what can I say, I KNOW you guys would be GREAT parents.

[Cool Chris]

I mean that I wouldn't change any of my mistakes or bad things that happened to me because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, and since I'm quite fond of the person I am today, I need those mistakes and tragedies to stay just where they are.

Basically Kirk's point when Sybok wants to take away his pain, right?

[TAC]

[Adami]

I mean that I wouldn't change any of my mistakes or bad things that happened to me because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, and since I'm quite fond of the person I am today, I need those mistakes and tragedies to stay just where they are.

Basically Kirk's point when Sybok wants to take away his pain, right?

 

To be fair, Kirk wasn't my influence haha.

[KevShmev]

Probably a bunch of smaller ones, but I can't think of anything major or life-shattering.  All things considered, I've had it pretty good for 47+ years, and even with getting older (damn Father Time) and minor health issues creeping up (damn carpal tunnel) and drifting apart from some longtime friends (which happens), I don't have a whole lot to complain about in the grand scheme.

[King Postwhore]

So Professor Peart and Kingshmegland, I appreciate your posts, and I really feel for you guys.

Peart, I'm sure it helps you empathize with your son, and Joe..what can I say, I KNOW you guys would be GREAT parents.

Thank you Tim. We tried for so long. We tried in vitro 3 times.  Insurance covered jack shit. We took loans. We were desperate.

We paid it off but no luck.  It's why we hurt when putting down our cats.

They are our children. 

[wolfking]

So Professor Peart and Kingshmegland, I appreciate your posts, and I really feel for you guys.

Peart, I'm sure it helps you empathize with your son, and Joe..what can I say, I KNOW you guys would be GREAT parents.

Thank you Tim. We tried for so long. We tried in vitro 3 times.  Insurance covered jack shit. We took loans. We were desperate.

We paid it off but no luck.  It's why we hurt when putting down our cats.

They are our children.

That's heavy shit mate.  Feel for you.

[Adami]

So Professor Peart and Kingshmegland, I appreciate your posts, and I really feel for you guys.

Peart, I'm sure it helps you empathize with your son, and Joe..what can I say, I KNOW you guys would be GREAT parents.

Thank you Tim. We tried for so long. We tried in vitro 3 times.  Insurance covered jack shit. We took loans. We were desperate.

We paid it off but no luck.  It's why we hurt when putting down our cats.

They are our children.

I’ve rarely wanted to hug someone more.

[KevShmev]

I echo their sentiments, Joe. 

[Cool Chris]

We started fertility treatments with my wife seeing an acupuncturist. Then we did a series of IUIs, maybe 5 or 6, with no success. We never tried IVF due to the cost. I finally had to start the conversation that this was just not working, it was making her miserable, and not just because it was messing with her hormones. We considered adoption, but I didn't want to do that, so we never got far down that road. She had one miscarriage and was past 40. Then a few months after we just stopped "trying" she got pregnant. Life is just bizarre sometimes. I cannot say I totally can relate as we did not go through as many procedures as others, and ended up with a happy ending regardless. But we partially went down that road, and it is emotionally exhausting. And I say that being the guy, the woman bears the brunt of it all.

[Dublagent66]

No.  I would be dead.  How is it possible to be regretful when you're dead?    Think before you ask these questions Mitch.

[Stadler]

So Professor Peart and Kingshmegland, I appreciate your posts, and I really feel for you guys.

Peart, I'm sure it helps you empathize with your son, and Joe..what can I say, I KNOW you guys would be GREAT parents.

Thank you Tim. We tried for so long. We tried in vitro 3 times.  Insurance covered jack shit. We took loans. We were desperate.

We paid it off but no luck.  It's why we hurt when putting down our cats.

They are our children.

I’ve rarely wanted to hug someone more.

No shit.   With you on that.

[Stadler]

No.  I would be dead.  How is it possible to be regretful when you're dead?    Think before you ask these questions Mitch.

That's a whole 'nother thread though. What if some part of you doesn't die?  I don't believe in "heaven" and "hell" in the traditional sense, but I'm not ruling out something like The Good Place, where you would have some opportunity of self-evaluation.

[Stadler]

I live in constant regret, so I guess my answer is yes. Most of it has to do with how I am wired. I've mentioned this before, but having learned about my son's autism has made me realize I am probably someone in that boat as well. My complete inability to interact with people in person has always held me back. I see someone I know and my first instinct is to immediately change directions and get away from said person so they don't see me and I won't have to talk to them. The fact that I do this with people I genuinely like is even more baffling to me.

I fully admit that I am a ball of untapped potential and it mostly has to do with the fact that I cannot focus in a learning environment. I know I could be way more than I am and be making way more money than I am and giving my family a better life than they have. Not that it's bad, but it could be so much more.

My doctor had to put me on meds for OCD which has helped me a bit. I used to focus only on the bad and could never enjoy anything. If anything, that makes the regret worse because it made me take more in.

Yikes, that was depressing.

If nothing else, I like and admire your honesty and self-reflection.  That alone puts you miles ahead of a good portion of our society, IMO.

[Stadler]

I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, Master of none.  I'm really good/great at a lot of things but not awesome at any one thing and if I "knew then what I know now" and could do it all over again I'd definitely do something about it.

I'm kind of in that boat, too; but I've sort of accepted that for what it is.   To say, "if I knew then what I know now" at least means you've learned something along the way.   I'm bummed about that, but I can sleep at night knowing that I've progressed, advanced.  I know too many people (including close to me) that simply haven't learned a damn thing in 25 years.  They're still making the same mistakes they made back in high school.

[LudwigVan]

No.  I would be dead.  How is it possible to be regretful when you're dead?    Think before you ask these questions Mitch.

I think the point of the thread is: If you were to die  tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

So, knowing that you only had 1 day more to live and were to reflect back on your life.

[pg1067]

It might be interesting to have a "lynchpin" decisions thread.  Decisions that genuinely changed your life.

I've got three:

Choosing my law schools;
Breaking up with my then-quasi-fiance in '96-ish;
Leaving GE (the first time) in 2003.

For me, choosing a law school was easy since the place I went gave me a 50% scholarship for the first year (and a full ride for years 2 and 3).

I somewhat regret my choice of undergraduate major and school.  Coming out of high school, I was certain I wanted to be an electrical engineer and was very strong in math and science.  I applied to three colleges as an EE major.  I didn't get into college #1, I got into college #2 as an EE major, and I got into college #3, but not as an EE major.  College #3 was where my best friend was going to go, so I focused on that school instead of college #2.  Someone persuaded me that applied physics would be a good alternate major and that I would likely be able to transfer into the EE program if I wanted.  Not surprisingly, my friend and I spent a lot of time screwing around (although I still got good grades).  However, it became obvious over the first year that transferring to the EE program wasn't realistic.  I re-applied to college #2 as an EE major and was accepted again.  However, by the time I got there, I was playing music and decided I didn't want to do engineering.  That led to a decade of changing majors, getting a full-time job, etc.  Eventually, I decided I wanted to go to law school and set about figuring out the quickest bachelor's degree I could get.  I finally got my B.A. nearly 12 years after graduating high school, and probably only had two semesters during that time when I wasn't taking any classes.  I often wonder how things would have gone differently had I gone to college #2 as an EE major from the get-go.

The other one is that, 1993, I got my first computer and started meeting women.  One of the first was a music major I met via *Prodigy.  She and a friend of hers were looking to meet a couple guys, so I got one of my roommates to join me in meeting them at a local club (actually, I think it was a pool bar).  The girl who arranged this was super attractive.  She was a piano performance major and we seemed to click.  If I remember correctly, she told me she was Krist Novoselic's cousin and apologized if her manner of speaking seemed off because she was translating what she wanted to say from Croatian in her head.  Anyway...we were both into getting together again, but she was always super busy.  Around this same time, I met my now wife.  She lived on the opposite side of the country and had recently broken up with her boyfriend (who had moved to Seattle).  She had plane tickets to visit him, but she decided to change them and come see me instead.  Obviously, that's its own story, but at one point during her visit, the other girl called me and invited me to come see her play.  It was an interesting phone call to have in front of my now-wife (who had no idea to whom I was talking).  Even though my now-wife would be gone by then, I ended up not going to girl #1's performance, and that was the last time I heard from her.  This isn't a regret, but I have occasionally wondered how life would have been different if I had pursued the other girl a bit more.

[Elite]

How about you guys?

I regret wasting too much time doing nothing worthwhile in the first half of the last 10 years of my life, especially on the music side. I could have done so much more, had I spent my time better practising stuff and taking more time to study. I often feel like I have a lot of catching up to do due to the lost time and it often makes me feel miserable in some ways. I don't know how to explain it any more clear without going into too much detail.

That said, overall I'm quite happy with where I am and what I'm doing right now, but I can't shake the feeling that it could have been more.

[Stadler]

I got into a top 15 law school, but would have had to quit work and go full time.  I opted to go to Uconn, which is good but not that level, but where there was a more flexible schedule, and I worked simultaneously.  It didn't hinder me in terms of doing what I set out to do (and helped me in other ways), but "where you go" is a little important at certain levels in the law, and especially at GE, it would have opened LOT of doors had I had that on my resume.  That said, who knows if I ever would have gotten to GE on that alternate pathway. 

[Dublagent66]

No.  I would be dead.  How is it possible to be regretful when you're dead?    Think before you ask these questions Mitch.

That's a whole 'nother thread though. What if some part of you doesn't die?  I don't believe in "heaven" and "hell" in the traditional sense, but I'm not ruling out something like The Good Place, where you would have some opportunity of self-evaluation.

Yeah, I get what you're saying Stads, but I wouldn't dream of bringing religious overtones into a thread title with no religious overtones. 

[pg1067]

I got into a top 15 law school, but would have had to quit work and go full time.  I opted to go to Uconn, which is good but not that level, but where there was a more flexible schedule, and I worked simultaneously.

I also got into a top tier school (as opposed to the top 50 school I attended).  After my undergraduate meanderings, I really wanted to do law school on the traditional, full-time path (although I did work 1-2 days per week during first and second years).  For me, it was better school/no money versus lesser school/lots of money.

[jammindude]

I have many regrets and will still have more before it's all over.

Kudos to you if it's actually true that you have none, but I find it very hard to believe anyone who says they have zero regrets.  Even if your life is great now, and everything worked out, there were still choices to make in your past and I'm sure some of those wanted a re-do.  Assuming a current "great life" and also assuming everything ended up great no matter what, it's really tough to say you had no regrets.

Sometimes it's just a matter of philosophy or outlook. I'm someone with no regrets. When I say that, I mean that I wouldn't change any of my mistakes or bad things that happened to me because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, and since I'm quite fond of the person I am today, I need those mistakes and tragedies to stay just where they are. I get it that not everyone feels that way, but I just wanted to give a different perspective why someone might not have regrets. Doesn't mean they don't have a lot of bad choices and bad events that happened.

I still don’t know that I can get on board with this.

I’m in my 50s now, and I’m at a point where I’ve learned my lessons, gone through MASSIVE changes to my personality, and I am now happy with who I am today.

But getting here involved being a self-centered jackass through my 20s, breaking up a family, hurting my children because I couldn’t get clean or stay faithful to their mother. And trust me...that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It was hitting that deep bottom of despair and desperation that made me realize I had to COMPLETELY change who I was...because I was a self centered piece of crap.

Did it take all that just to realize that I was not the good person I thought I was and realize that I was the problem and not everybody else? Maybe. I hope not. I’d like to think there was a better way of learning that lesson than hitting bottom.

No matter how happy I am with who I am now and the changes I’ve made, to say I have no regrets would be dismissive of my innocent ex and children. No...I cannot imagine not regretting the pain I’ve caused. I suppose in some ways it does drive me forward to be better. But I still say no. There should have been another way.  I’m never going to not regret that.

[Adami]

I have many regrets and will still have more before it's all over.

Kudos to you if it's actually true that you have none, but I find it very hard to believe anyone who says they have zero regrets.  Even if your life is great now, and everything worked out, there were still choices to make in your past and I'm sure some of those wanted a re-do.  Assuming a current "great life" and also assuming everything ended up great no matter what, it's really tough to say you had no regrets.

Sometimes it's just a matter of philosophy or outlook. I'm someone with no regrets. When I say that, I mean that I wouldn't change any of my mistakes or bad things that happened to me because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, and since I'm quite fond of the person I am today, I need those mistakes and tragedies to stay just where they are. I get it that not everyone feels that way, but I just wanted to give a different perspective why someone might not have regrets. Doesn't mean they don't have a lot of bad choices and bad events that happened.

I still don’t know that I can get on board with this.

I get that. That's just where I'm coming from. I don't expect anyone else to feel the way I do. I was responding to the idea that no one could feel that way.

[eric42434224]

I used to have real regrets.  Not the passing half-ass regrets we all get regularly.  Real wishing that I could go back to a certain point in time to avoid pain and mistakes.

Then I had children, and realized that if I didn't do things specifically as I did, my children might have ended up very different...if I even ended up having kids at all.  It gave me peace with my choices in life.

Given the same circumstances, we would all make the same decisions anyway.  If we were able to bring our experiences and knowledge back we might make changes...but that is called time travel and not what we are really talking about.

So my answer is no.  I will be dead anyway, and not capable of regret, as I will not exist anymore.

[Kotowboy]

The one regret was not being able to have children with my loving wife.

Just me of course but I would never regret staying single my whole life. Every single one of my siblings and cousins is married with kids and I kinda feel like

SOME people only do it cause they feel they HAVE to and not because they truly WANT to.

I honestly think some people get to a certain age and go looks at watch " Right...better get married and have kids then...".

[Stadler]

I used to have real regrets.  Not the passing half-ass regrets we all get regularly.  Real wishing that I could go back to a certain point in time to avoid pain and mistakes.

Then I had children, and realized that if I didn't do things specifically as I did, my children might have ended up very different...if I even ended up having kids at all.  It gave me peace with my choices in life.

Given the same circumstances, we would all make the same decisions anyway. If we were able to bring our experiences and knowledge back we might make changes...but that is called time travel and not what we are really talking about.

So my answer is no.  I will be dead anyway, and not capable of regret, as I will not exist anymore.

I think about this a lot, and I think you could say it's one of those things I've learned along the way.  I used to think that we were in control of EVERYTHING, and each moment of each day was chock full of individual decisions that WE made and we COULD make, and the world was our oyster waiting for us to run roughshod over it.  I think it was actually El Barto that introduced that idea that we're wired the way we are, and what we think is pure free will maybe isn't.  (I hope I get this right, but) maybe we have a predilection for a certain number of finite choices, but the palate really isn't that broad or infinite for each of us.  As a result, even if that idea is wrong, I've come to be kinder to myself about the way I've handled certain things - though I still don't like those times I've hurt people - and I've tried to recognize those moments where it was, for better or worse, "me being me".

[Stadler]

The one regret was not being able to have children with my loving wife.

Just me of course but I would never regret staying single my whole life. Every single one of my siblings and cousins is married with kids and I kinda feel like

SOME people only do it cause they feel they HAVE to and not because they truly WANT to.

I honestly think some people get to a certain age and go looks at watch " Right...better get married and have kids then...".

You say that like it's a bad thing, though.  Whatever you want to call it, some people evolve/find themselves in different circumstances/decide they want something different.   I know for me, I married late, and while it didn't ultimately work out, at the start, my marriage was good, and it was sort of the best of all worlds.  I was no longer the traveling bachelor minstrel, and I had an at the time good woman, a great job, and we explored that side of life that so many do - domesticity.   I was (and am) close to my parents and grandparents, and while it might look from the outside to be a "check the watch" moment, it was FAR more organic than that.  It sort of just happened; I don't mean the condom broke, I mean I was lucky and there wasn't a ton of procrastination.   We had gone through a miscarriage, and like whoever it was above that tried and tried and tried, then after they gave up it happened, that sort of happened to us.  I've written before of the "miracle" of that time.  My kid is my single greatest accomplishment, and my answer if you asked me "your Krypton is exploding and you can put one person in a little space ship and send them to earth to live with the Kent's.  Who would it be?"

I may be out of line and I would never EVER try to tell you what to think, I do believe you exhibit a startling lack of recognition that your world view may not be the same as that shared by others around you.  That YOU don't regret being single, and therefore don't value (or seemingly want) that aspect of domesticity, for others it's not something to be mocked, it's an integral part of their happiness in life.  Just because someone "wants" to be married, or "wants" to have kids, doesn't mean all the other boxes of "love" and "purpose" and "fulfillment" aren't checked.  Just because you carry this notion that "no one will care if I'm gone" or "it would be a relief if I'm gone" (two ideas you cannot possibly know for any certainty), many do not.  I have come to recognize in my wisdom of age (with help from a therapist) that whether it's friends or family or offspring, I need that notion of community, of being needed and wanted, along with needing and wanting others around me.  Would I survive without them?  Of course, but we're not talking bare minimums here, we're talking achieving a fulfilling, complete life.

[TAC]

I used to have real regrets.  Not the passing half-ass regrets we all get regularly.  Real wishing that I could go back to a certain point in time to avoid pain and mistakes.

Then I had children, and realized that if I didn't do things specifically as I did, my children might have ended up very different...if I even ended up having kids at all.  It gave me peace with my choices in life.

Given the same circumstances, we would all make the same decisions anyway. If we were able to bring our experiences and knowledge back we might make changes...but that is called time travel and not what we are really talking about.

I think about this a lot, and I think you could say it's one of those things I've learned along the way.  I used to think that we were in control of EVERYTHING, and each moment of each day was chock full of individual decisions that WE made and we COULD make, and the world was our oyster waiting for us to run roughshod over it.  I think it was actually El Barto that introduced that idea that we're wired the way we are, and what we think is pure free will maybe isn't.  (I hope I get this right, but) maybe we have a predilection for a certain number of finite choices, but the palate really isn't that broad or infinite for each of us.  As a result, even if that idea is wrong, I've come to be kinder to myself about the way I've handled certain things - though I still don't like those times I've hurt people - and I've tried to recognize those moments where it was, for better or worse, "me being me".

I've been thinking about how I might answer this thread over the last few days. I keep coming back to...I really don't know what I would've done differently.

[WilliamMunny]

I have many regrets and will still have more before it's all over.

Kudos to you if it's actually true that you have none, but I find it very hard to believe anyone who says they have zero regrets.  Even if your life is great now, and everything worked out, there were still choices to make in your past and I'm sure some of those wanted a re-do.  Assuming a current "great life" and also assuming everything ended up great no matter what, it's really tough to say you had no regrets.

Saying something like "I regret getting a Coke instead of a Diet Coke" doesn't count.


Here are a few of mine:

- Getting trapped in retail out of high school.
It was comfortable and easy, and I was too chicken to actually do something with my life/education.  I've always been smart and capable and all that, just not "hungry" enough, and it hurt me in the long run.  It wasn't until I finally got out of retail at 35 that I finally went back to school (community college) and got into healthcare as a pharmacy technician.

If only I had done it right out of high school I'd be a full-on pharmacist or even a doctor cuz I know now what it's all about and could have easily done it if I had any balls 30 years ago.  At the very least I could have had a great unionized city position at my hospital for 40+ years instead of 25+ and get maximum benefits for a lot longer.


- Not pursuing music.
I had a lot of promise in my early 20s and was always being courted by others to be in their band and actually try and make a go of it but, again, too comfortable and no balls.


- Breaking up with my g/f (now wife) for a few months.
Sure, it all worked out, but it very easily couldn't have, and the amount of sorrow I caused still makes me cry more than a few times per year.  Not to get too deep but I probably wouldn't be around if we hadn't gotten back together.

I was in a terrible time in my life having just turned 30 and seeing what I hadn't done and out of desperation figured I'd try a clean slate and removed the one person I knew I couldn't live without in some delusional hope that my life would get better.


- Not pursuing athletics.
I had a good chance to do something with hockey (here in Canada) but just didn't want to give it 100%.  Same with football, although most likely I had no chance (here in Canada) unless I went to a school in the US.  I think tennis was probably my best shot at going somewhere.


Anyway, probably a lot of TMI, but it felt good to talk a little about it with you guys here.

I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, Master of none.  I'm really good/great at a lot of things but not awesome at any one thing and if I "knew then what I know now" and could do it all over again I'd definitely do something about it.

Not saying you were commenting directly on my thoughts (and it's all good if you are), but as your post follows mine, I will simply add that I stand by my comments. Just because you find it hard to believe doesn't make it any less true. Wide range of answers in this thread, undoubtably relfecting a wide-range of perspectives and life-situations.

As for anyone who has commented on the whole 'kids' thing, as someone who has dealt with a pair of misscarriages (one was a 'late-term' that required a dangerous surgrry), my heart goes out to you. I've experienced some messed up things in my past, but having to watch my wife go through what she's gone through has completely recalibrated my idea of what 'hard' is.

If you don't want kids, great, if you have them, God bless you, and if you want them but can't, I sincerely feel for you.

[eric42434224]

I've been thinking about how I might answer this thread over the last few days. I keep coming back to...I really don't know what I would've done differently.

Maybe put a fucking cart in the corral?
There’s still time TAC.  No regrets.