Official Poetry Thread

[DebraKadabra]

It's still a work in progress, I'm just so happy that I can really write again.  Been far too long, and I thought my muse went away permanently.
 
Heh.  Love what you posted - short and to the point.

[ThroughHerEyesDude6]

Pretty much.  Can't wait to read what you got next.
And for those who don't want to scroll back a page to read what I wrote:

Titty sprinkles in my pants.
overconfidence in plans.
Outside simply kicking cans.
And I'm out of ideas.

[DebraKadabra]

Can't wait to read what you got next.

I'm still working on it - it's turning out to be much longer than I originally planned on, but so far I'm liking it.  Just need to keep plugging away at it, but it's going to be difficult for about the next two weeks because of additional stuff I have to do at work.

I'll post it up as soon as I think it's finished.

[Ben_Jamin]

12:22:21 AM

Said it'd be my last
But my will had died so fast
Patiently I still wait for your caress.

Untamed hereditary flaw
Causes one to break their jaw
In a night of uncontrolled humility

Can one wipe my eyes clear
Of these constant, detailed lows
Found buried scared below
And alone...

Still I walk with a warming smile
Although its taking awhile
Patiently I wait for my mistress.

facetious reality
Has become ordinary
schizophrenic imagery

Uninhibited hereditary flaw
Shaken bones free fall cold
Devoid of life they sing like birds.

[DebraKadabra]

 

That's really good.  No, wait... I meant REALLY GOOD.  Wow.

[Ben_Jamin]

Thanks. My muse was with me until the end, don't really like the flow of the last stanza. Its another one I,made on a whim

[DebraKadabra]

I respectfully disagree with you on the last stanza - I often write things that hearken back to earlier lines/stanzas in the poem, but I change them up slightly to fit the flow.  IMO, it makes the point you're trying to make hit a little harder.

[Ben_Jamin]

I respectfully disagree with you on the last stanza - I often write things that hearken back to earlier lines/stanzas in the poem, but I change them up slightly to fit the flow.  IMO, it makes the point you're trying to make hit a little harder.

I see what you mean. When I wrote it, I had a vocal melody by Faunts as inspiration since it was stuck in my head at the time, and I guess you could say the meaning relates to that, anyways everytime I read it that melody returns. But I tried to read it without it, yeah its a good in an odd way for me.

[DebraKadabra]

 

[Onno]

So, here's my first poem in about half a year or so. I think it's not really good, but figured I'd post it anyway.


Why
Does so much
Do so little
The gates are wide open
But no one comes out
There is no sense of purpose
No will to move about

Still no lack of time and space
But you're afraid just to face
The small door in the hall
You're aware that if you fall
It won't matter for it all

Try
There is no such thing as try
A man leaves the place
Will he come back inside
Or will he start to chase?

[Tick]

Not sure if this is poetry but this was on my heart.

Domestic Abuse

Dad had too much to drink again and anything can set him off.  Mom makes a comment that angers dad and the nightmare begins. The young boy barely 8 years old watches in horror as his father throws his mom to the floor.
 He kicks her in the head then reaches down to grab her hair. She starts to scream as he drags her across the room. Moments later comes a knock at the door.
The police stand there staring the father down. “Your neighbor called and said its sounds like there is a problem going on over here. Is everything ok?”
The father calmly responds.” Sure officer, we just had a bit of an argument that got a little loud. Were sorry you had to come out.”
The police exit. The nightmare continues. Maybe it’s over for the day. Maybe something will again happen later.
The cuts are deep. The scars are permanent. Hopefully the boy is strong enough to rise above it all. There is no way to know just what the repercussions will be long term. He lays his head down on his pillow. He closes his eyes. He is at peace for now. Tomorrow is another day.
     

[Onno]

Not sure if this is poetry but this was on my heart.

Domestic Abuse

Dad had too much to drink again and anything can set him off.  Mom makes a comment that angers dad and the nightmare begins. The young boy barely 8 years old watches in horror as his father throws his mom to the floor.
 He kicks her in the head then reaches down to grab her hair. She starts to scream as he drags her across the room. Moments later come a knock at the door.
The police stand there staring the father down. “Your neighbor called and said its sounds like there is a problem going on over here. Is everything ok?”
The father calmly responds.” Sure officer, we just had a bit of an argument that got a little loud. Were sorry you had to come out.”
The police exit. The nightmare continues. Maybe it’s over for the day. Maybe something will again happen later.
The cuts are deep. The scars are permanent. Hopefully the boy is strong enough to rise above it all. There is no way to know just what the repercussions will be long term. He lays his head down on his pillow. He closes his eyes. He is at peace for now. Tomorrow is another day.
   

Wow, that's heavy   

Anyway, here's another one that I wrote a few days ago.

Screams
Tearing at the soul
Needles sticking in the doll
Time most surely took its toll

Pain
Everything just fades away
And again into the fray
Feet get sucked into the clay

Hope
There is always still hope
But will it help to cope
Grab hold of the saving rope

Some things are just not within range
And you don't want that to change
But it still seems so strange

Fear of the conclusion
Hate for the confusion
Doubting the illusion
And its face

[Ben_Jamin]

Last drop I do and sip
Instantaneous, I collapse
Essences reveal my true odor.
Silent dreams  speak our talk
Of a past  that's been defunct
In nightly humility.

Please save my soul
From being dragged down
Into the depths
Of the Scarred.

[Ben_Jamin]

I decided its enough is enough. no more drinking for me.

[Tick]

         
Walking down the city street I hear the sounds below my feet
The music fills my mind, feel the sun shining down
All around there are reasons to feel a change of seasons
No need for me to wear a mask of frown

Happy is a right I have to be
Life is worth the risk it takes to feel this way
A leap of faith most every single day
Transforms you to a special place
Happier than you thought possible
That is how it should be

Stepping out on the pier, the majestic prism glare
The beauty of the moment blows my mind
If only one considers, the pain that’s all around
The silver lining seems easier to find

When you allow a love to live inside you
The weight of all that holds you in contempt
Is lifted from you now, and magically somehow
The darkness that once held you disappears

[Ben_Jamin]

Very uplifting. Good one.

[DebraKadabra]

Wow... some REALLY good stuff, dudes.

I decided its enough is enough. no more drinking for me.

I hope that goes as best for you as possible.

[Ben_Jamin]

Wow... some REALLY good stuff, dudes.

I decided its enough is enough. no more drinking for me.

I hope that goes as best for you as possible.

Thanks, i'm gradually gonna stop, at the moment i'm limiting to special occasions and even at that just having one, two at max. Kinda hard stopping cold turkey.

[Scorpion]

         
Walking down the city street I hear the sounds below my feet
The music fills my mind, feel the sun shining down
All around there are reasons to feel a change of seasons
No need for me to wear a mask of frown

Happy is a right I have to be
Life is worth the risk it takes to feel this way
A leap of faith most every single day
Transforms you to a special place
Happier than you thought possible
That is how it should be

Stepping out on the pier, the majestic prism glare
The beauty of the moment blows my mind
If only one considers, the pain that’s all around
The silver lining seems easier to find

When you allow a love to live inside you
The weight of all that holds you in contempt
Is lifted from you now, and magically somehow
The darkness that once held you disappears

This is some seriously awesome poetry. You really have a gift Tick, and this is probably my favourite of your poems so far. Keep it up!

[Tick]

         
Walking down the city street I hear the sounds below my feet
The music fills my mind, feel the sun shining down
All around there are reasons to feel a change of seasons
No need for me to wear a mask of frown

Happy is a right I have to be
Life is worth the risk it takes to feel this way
A leap of faith most every single day
Transforms you to a special place
Happier than you thought possible
That is how it should be

Stepping out on the pier, the majestic prism glare
The beauty of the moment blows my mind
If only one considers, the pain that’s all around
The silver lining seems easier to find

When you allow a love to live inside you
The weight of all that holds you in contempt
Is lifted from you now, and magically somehow
The darkness that once held you disappears

This is some seriously awesome poetry. You really have a gift Tick, and this is probably my favourite of your poems so far. Keep it up!

Very nice of you to say. Thank you.

[Tick]

Road rage

The angers rising swiftly to the surface
The canvas is a vast and open road
No one seems to care or have a purpose
The narcissistic bad intentions brew

Feeling like your souls under possession
The demon has his place inside you now
Wanting to become the hands of justice
To bring the selfish bastards through the ground

The blood inside that boils may soon spill over
To cover those of selfish careless sin
Will they learn a lesson or become one
Some beginnings don’t happily end

Thoughtless they don’t care it’s all about them
The cost of who may hurt is no concern

If this ends up badly through a guard rail
A guilty laughter rises from within

The price that’s paid is heavy for transgression
The innocent will suffer as they grieve

The family now must bury their own loved one
Sparing others from the pain they bare the cross
The choices that we make are often not about us
We paid the price but did not count the cost

[Ben_Jamin]

Real good stuff  Tick.

[Tick]

Sitting in the darkness, listening to the sounds
Of madness that is brewing, deep inside your mind

The calm before the storm, beginning of the end
To fake a sense of sanity has become a fashion trend

Only when we are willing, to see reality
Will we ever have a chance, to have some clarity

The choices that we make define the path were on
The road can split and leave you helplessly bound

Choose the left or choose the right, which way should you go
Open your eyes to see the light, only then will you ever know

[DebraKadabra]

Right on, Tick - great stuff.

I'm still working on my "magnum opus".

[Tick]

Right on, Tick - great stuff.

I'm still working on my "magnum opus".

[DebraKadabra]

It's shortened and edited enough so that I feel okay in posting it so... here it is, excess negativity and all!
 
------------------
 
So here I lay, or is it lie, before what could be a blissless slumber of broken dreams or shattered nightmares while my brain pukes out my rancid thoughts just so I can feed it that garbage all over again.  This fractured path is littered with dead or dying hopes, coupled with diseased and decrepit ambitions.  How did things get to this point, you ask?  Well have a seat and I'll spin you a yarn that will curl your toes and cause you to count your meager blessings.
 
It all got started when I was forced into this by she who calls herself my mother; spitting me forth into a life where the most I could expect from her is nothing at all.  Insulted, abused and made to feel utterly worthless.  What great coping skills you taught me, then.  All the better to loathe you with, my dear.
 
Brother was a father and mother, hovering over me like a buzzard flying over especially rank roadkill.  Bless him, he didn't know no better either.  Father was smart - cut his losses and got the hell out of Dodge.  Hindsight is always as clear as day, but we all know where that gets you.  Only took me 7 more years to get that clue, but it would take 3 more after that to spread my crippled wings in an attempt to soar.
 
But let's backtrack a ways.  Before freedom, endentured servitude was the special of the day - every day.  So much so that escape from it really wasn't an option at first.  Left with that, I did what any asylum resident in that situation would do - piss off the keeper, constantly.  If it wasn't music, it was sneaking out to find some sort of gratification that wasn't otherwise being provided or offered, all while being used as a playtoy or a whore for someone else's lusts and desires - only to be discarded, of course, immediately after without proper payment(s) or any regard for what passed as my feelings.  Such was my lot at that time, and you get what you give.
 
Once I decided to stake my claim for freedom from my oppressor it begat a monstrous grudge that is still being held to this day, all because I dared to question her "authority" and the fact that she believes that Father is the Antichrist.  Obviously this woman owns no mirrors, and I've learned that you criticize in others what you most dislike about yourself.  But I digress.  Freedom was tentative at first, got better after Wicked Stepmother #1 left (which, of course, she blamed on me in her alcohol haze) and ended when Pops met who would become Wicked Stepmother #2.  Moved out shortly thereafter, as the oppression reminded me too much of what I'd escaped from 8 years prior.
 
But... "I miss you," stated through a thick regret that could only be the bottle talking.  Responsibility is not all it's cracked up to be, but I managed as best I could.  Same with "love", or what passes for it.  More like I was a piece of meat ripe for the pickin', laden with empty promises.  Sure was fun... until I got my heart broke, which was invariably the conclusion but with slight variations of that general theme.
 
Brother had divorced our folks not too long after I got my own place - some horseshit about not having the childhood he thought he deserved.  So you didn't get a pony - boo fucking hoo.  Grow a pair and grow the hell up, fool.  He ended up divorcing me, eventually, probably because I had a better relationship with our folks than he did (at that time, that is - I've since divorced the shrew of a mother mine).  You know what they say about making your bed...
 
So now, I'm left with my own special brand of hate (mainly towards myself) and no more than a fumbling clue of who and how I'm supposed to be.  It's hard to live and let live some days, but the ranting madness I sometimes get enveloped in is becoming more of a rare occurance, with an occasional garden variety random outburst.  I'd say I was supposed to be a mentor, but that role doesn't work out so well when you're dealing with overly stupid folks and others who give no inkling of respect regardless if said respect is due or not.  Some days you're the hunter, others you're the prey.
 
Such is life, I reckon.

[Tick]

Wow, Debra. That's deeply personal. You are not alone in the realm of life's pain. My next poem goes out to you.

Why you will always matter…

Our lives consist purely of darkness and light. Each day of survival presents another fight we can’t avoid.
Sometimes we find it so hard to separate our good from our evil. Many times we can and don’t even care to.

Sometimes the struggle begins from the moment you leave your bed. Sometimes it manifests while you lie in wait.
If you can discard the lies of the day maybe you can find that elusive joy that lurks somewhere.

The lies want to mask all good so it can’t be seen. The lies want us to stay that way, and all too often we let them.
The truth has set you free though without this belief you haven’t got a chance.

 A simple smile or a kind word can lift us.  A warm embrace or gentle touch of a hand can bring perspective. 
Believe that you matter. Believe your worth more.
You are.

[DebraKadabra]

Wow, I'm deeply honored that you dedicated that to me - all of what you wrote is so VERY true.  It took me a LONG time to get here, and I still have my moments with low self esteem issues (which the shrew feigns ignorance about ).

[Onno]

Sometimes I despair.


Whispers from the dark
Blinded, but must see
To leave upon this mark
The threads of misery
No cunning mind will leave
For it has now regained
The power to deceide
And rebuild what remained

Waves washing over endless shores
But bordered by a bog
From which one cannot see the waves
But only putrid fog
The gullible gift of light
Lures the stags away
But once again they sink
Into the hideous moor of decay

Ghoulish fiends hunt the meek
Spewing forth the meaningless lies
But there is one left, the one to seek
For the ghoulish fiends he defies

[Tick]

Tis a time of year for disturbing fare....

Enjoy!


Leave the world behind. Step into a vortex of terror.  Don’t play the cards dealt to you. Make your own deck and play by your rules. The seasons change quicker than the blink of an eye. In a fleeting moment your life goes by. Challenge the things you once thought right. If you play by the rules you will lose the fight. We are told from the moment were born with hard work we can have anything we wish. We believe the lies and try to play nice. Then one day reality strikes. We can’t win, medication is nice. Fill our heads with all forms of noise. We mask the pain, numb to life’s cruel reality. We can’t win. Welcome to the vortex of terror.

[DebraKadabra]

GOOD stuff, gents.

Let me see what I have in my bag of tricks...

*untitled*

She sits and waits in a crowded room
She knows not why or what for
Is she waiting for a random passer-by
or is it perhaps something more?
She takes another sip of her cold white wine
She's not in any rush to move herself along
while she takes in the scenery and the people all around
She's calm on the surface but her presence here seems wrong

No one else has noticed her but me
No one's bothered to look or to care
Why is she here and not in another place?
It's almost as if she's not really there...

I look away for the tiniest of moments
and in that flash she's disappeared from my sight
There's nothing left at her table but a cooling, empty glass
and no other sounds besides the pleasant spring night
I start to think she was just a figment of my thoughts
until I hear a soft whisper in my ear
"I am but a shadow, doomed to walk this world for eternity," she sighs
and then she is gone... was she ever really here?

[theliloutkast]

The smoke filled room,
Ideas carrying through the mist,
You can always feel the gloom,
As if depression tops the list.

Where the roar of the coffee maker never ceases,
Insomnia works its magic,
Himself he never pleases,
The brain remains static.

You must surpass all,
You must prevail,
With your mask you must hide the fall,
If not you'll quickly fail.

The ideas you love so much,
Pushed by corporate interest,
You feel like you're losing the touch,
Your imagination feels infant.

You sigh as you sip your coffee,
The cigarette feels warm in your hand,
It's finally the time to act,
To break away and live free of restraint.



Thoughts?

[Scorpion]

Very nice, I like it, though the first line of the second stanza is little too long and that breaks the flow somewhat. Otherwise, great stuff!

[Ben_Jamin]

The knifes blood, dripped a silent red
the judgement's been declared.
Buzzards overhead sing their song
"Kamikaze missions successful"

Pages turn a silent ear to the paintings in the sky
the simple man sits alone questioning "Why?
Has it come down to me, myself, and I."

The thunders roar in sadness replying
"Only you, have seen the eye."

Spectral colors admist drowning embers ignite
The righteous shrubs dance in the fight
Knives explode in envious murder

the knives blood, drips a silent red.

[DebraKadabra]

The smoke filled room,
Ideas carrying through the mist,
You can always feel the gloom,
As if depression tops the list.

Where the roar of the coffee maker never ceases,
Insomnia works its magic,
Himself he never pleases,
The brain remains static.

You must surpass all,
You must prevail,
With your mask you must hide the fall,
If not you'll quickly fail.

The ideas you love so much,
Pushed by corporate interest,
You feel like you're losing the touch,
Your imagination feels infant.

You sigh as you sip your coffee,
The cigarette feels warm in your hand,
It's finally the time to act,
To break away and live free of restraint.



Thoughts?

Really good, man.  The rhyme on the fourth stanza is a little wonky, but other than that I like it.

Another good one from Mister _Jamin too, but you might want to change to "Only you HAVE seen the eye."