Mundane But True Stories!

[Stadler]

Way better than "Met my wife on a dating website."


Yes, that's my story.

Mine too. 

My wife is beautiful - like, objectively beautiful, not "she might be reading this, so I better say the right thing..." beautiful - and I keep telling her to send in a testimonial.   If a third, or even a quarter of the fat, dork fanbase sees me with her and decides to sign up, their subscription rates would skyrocket!    

[Full face shot of Stadler]
"Hi.  I'm an engineer and Kiss fan.  I wear collared shirts to metal shows, and post a lot of statistics on the interwebs.   And I met my wife [slow pan back to show both of us smiling] on Match.com.  So can you!  Sign up today!"

[King Postwhore]

Meeting my wife was a weird one.  I worked with this lady who wanted me to date her daughter. I told her I wasn't getting set up by no mother.   One day I saw her talking to a red head.  After she let I went to the mother and asked who was that chick?  She said, "That's my daughter!" 

DAMMIT!


Well Lisa and I started talking when she showed up.  She wanted to set me up with her friend.  I brought a buddy as well.  Her friend wasn't very friendly and my friend wandered off so Lisa and I danced and talked the night away.  So we started to date.  30 years later........

[Orbert]

Phil didn't actually last very long as our drummer.  He was really good, probably too good for our band at the time, which kinda sucked at first.  I remember he drove a Ford Bronco and hauled his drums to each rehearsal, brought them in and set them up, then tore them down and hauled them away after each rehearsal.  His girlfriend usually accompanied him, and we saw her once.  She was smokin' hot.  But she always just sat in the Bronco.  Didn't help move the drums, didn't come in and hang out or anything, just sat in the Bronco the whole time, looking hot.  Probably knew that if she came in, we'd all be gawking at her and not get any work done, so it was probably for the best.

His friend Dave kinda sucked as a sound man.  Loved cranking the bass, to the point where it was louder than anything else, including vocals and drums.  That's actually quite an accomplishment.  We tried like hell to convince him that his mix sucked, but all he could tell us was that this is how he listens to music (I know some people like that) and what sounds good to him, and how else can he mix us except based on what he thinks sounds good?  He didn't last long, either.  But his little sister was cute.

Anyway, I was tripped out seeing Phil S., someone I hadn't even thought about in 30 years and the guy ultimately responsible for me meeting my wife, named in a list of Thank-Yous of a friend of a friend.  Maybe I shouldn't have been.  Tracy and I talked one time about other area musicians who he knew and had played with, and that included both the original bassist from that 1981 band and the guy who replaced him.  I suppose that after a while, most area musicians end up playing with each other in some situation or other.  If not in the same band, maybe a one-off somewhere, like jamming out at John's house in the woods.

[Orbert]

After work, I ingested a fair amount of what is now legal in Illinois, then we had dinner while watching an episode of The West Wing (still some of the best-written television ever made).  Afterwards, I'm gonna go play on the computer while I still have a good buzz, but Mrs. Orbert asks me if I'm gonna get ready to go.  Go where?  Go grocery shopping!  Apparently she'd said something about it during dinner, and apparently I said Okay.

I just got a new car, so I'm still digging the novelty of driving it and listening to its kick-ass Bose sound system with nine or 11 speakers or some shit.  I haven't found them all.  But whatever, we go grocery shopping.

As we're walking in, "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who is playing.  Nice.  I do some air guitar while Mrs. O selects produce.  "Crazy on You" by Heart, complete with the awesome acoustic intro.  "Hold the Line" by Toto.  It occurs to me at some point that I'm totally jamming to the tunes they're playing in the grocery store! "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas.  I don't remember them all, but basically, this grocery store plays Classic Rock.  Not Muzak versions or edited AM versions, but the real album tracks.

Walked around, got some exercise, enjoyed some good jams, all while fulfilling my duty as husband not leaving the grocery shopping to the wife... overall it could have been worse.


Mundane But True!

[Orbert]

The year was 1981.  I was at a party outside Oscoda, Michigan.

They had one of those digital dart boards, which were pretty new at the time.  Instead of corkboard or other soft wood, the board was heavy-duty plastic with holes in it, and the darts had blunt metal tips that were supposed to go into the holes.  Half the time, they bounced off and onto the floor.  The board kept score automatically, based on where the darts landed (if it was on the board).

After watching a few guys play, I asked if I could give it a try.  Seemed simple enough; line up your arm, toss.  Ding!  Bullseye!  Pretty cool.  Hell of a lucky first shot.  I threw the second dart.  Ding!  Bullseye!  People are starting to watch.  I've got one dart left in my hand.  No way.  Ding!  Bullseye!

I can only figure that I had the perfect combination of alcohol and various combustible intoxicants in me that allowed me to somehow me to lock in and...  aw, fuck it.  I have no idea.  But in that moment, it seemed absolutely trivial.  Line up your arm, think about where you're throwing, toss.  Three bullseyes. I've never played darts since then.

Mundane, but true.

[Podaar]

Take it from someone who played in competition dart leagues for years--darts is a hard game. You're a natural!

[Orbert]

I might be.  Now, 40 years later, it seems a bit late to start up a new sport/hobby.  But mostly due to a lack of opportunity, and an assumption that there's no way I could do it again, I've just never played again.

My wife did something kinda similar once, back we were dating.  It was a double date with her coworker and a friend, and we went bowling.  We tried to figure out the order, who should go first, when she decided we'd dilly-dallied too long, grabbed a ball, a just whipped it down the lane.  Strike!  We were laughing so hard, nobody wanted to go next, so there was more discussion.  Oh yeah, I think we were tripping on acid at the time.

[MetalJunkie]

I just told this story to my younger sisters (who are all of age now, but were nowhere close when this story happened)

About 15 years ago, my step-mom's abusive behavior drove my dad to an affair. Not justifying it at all. Sometimes he's a piece of shit, she's always a piece of shit. That's all the backstory you need on them.

Anyway, during the brief period they were separated (they live together now and refuse to divorce because Jesus), my dad was temporarily living with me in my apartment. One day, I needed to come home on my lunch break for something. I opened the door, and there was my dad sitting buck ass naked in the middle of the living room floor, watching Basic Instinct. As soon as I swung the door open, he turned around and goes "Tim?! I didn't know you were gonna be home early! I just got out of the shower, I'll go put some clothes on."

Sure, Dad. Sure.

tl;dr Always announce your arrival so you don't catch your dad wanking it to Sharon Stone.

[Orbert]

Probably good advice.  One time when my son was maybe 14, I went to his room to ask him something.  He had a desk and chair and stuff, but spent nearly all of his time sitting in his bed, playing on his laptop, reading, whatever.  Anyway, I went to ask him something, and he looked really nervous and acted kinda shifty, and was clearly hiding something under the covers.  I asked what was up with that, and he said "Nothing!" so obviously it was something.  I wasn't thinking, and he was acting suspicious, so I walked over and yanked the covers back.  Mistake.  He'd grabbed a Playboy out of my room and was busy with it.  I just said, "Oh... sorry.  You know, you should at least close your door if you're gonna do that," and as I turned to leave, I added "and make sure you put that back where you found it!"

Could've been awkward, but wasn't, thank God.  Or could've been worse, anyway.  He probably found it really awkward, but hey, chances of it happening at some point were pretty good, so it's not like I was aghast.

[pg1067]

Probably good advice.  One time when my son was maybe 14, I went to his room to ask him something.  He had a desk and chair and stuff, but spent nearly all of his time sitting in his bed, playing on his laptop, reading, whatever.  Anyway, I went to ask him something, and he looked really nervous and acted kinda shifty, and was clearly hiding something under the covers.  I asked what was up with that, and he said "Nothing!" so obviously it was something.  I wasn't thinking, and he was acting suspicious, so I walked over and yanked the covers back.  Mistake.  He'd grabbed a Playboy out of my room and was busy with it.  I just said, "Oh... sorry.  You know, you should at least close your door if you're gonna do that," and as I turned to leave, I added "and make sure you put that back where you found it!"

Could've been awkward, but wasn't, thank God.  Or could've been worse, anyway.  He probably found it really awkward, but hey, chances of it happening at some point were pretty good, so it's not like I was aghast.

That's hilarious.  I remember one time coming home with a Playboy that I had stolen from a local store (back when the sold Playboy and Penthouse at grocery store check-out lines).  I was riding my bike and was putting it away in the garage and, for whatever reason, was holding the magazine in my hand.  My mother came up from into the garage, and I remember pretending to fall and, in the process, slid the magazine somewhere out of site.  My mother never said anything, so I don't know if she knew what I had done, but I recall feeling proud that I had pulled it off.

[TAC]

Probably good advice.  One time when my son was maybe 14, I went to his room to ask him something.  He had a desk and chair and stuff, but spent nearly all of his time sitting in his bed, playing on his laptop, reading, whatever.  Anyway, I went to ask him something, and he looked really nervous and acted kinda shifty, and was clearly hiding something under the covers.  I asked what was up with that, and he said "Nothing!" so obviously it was something.  I wasn't thinking, and he was acting suspicious, so I walked over and yanked the covers back.  Mistake.  He'd grabbed a Playboy out of my room and was busy with it.  I just said, "Oh... sorry.  You know, you should at least close your door if you're gonna do that," and as I turned to leave, I added "and make sure you put that back where you found it!"

Could've been awkward, but wasn't, thank God.  Or could've been worse, anyway.  He probably found it really awkward, but hey, chances of it happening at some point were pretty good, so it's not like I was aghast.

That's hilarious.  I remember one time coming home with a Playboy that I had stolen from a local store (back when the sold Playboy and Penthouse at grocery store check-out lines).  I was riding my bike and was putting it away in the garage and, for whatever reason, was holding the magazine in my hand.  My mother came up from into the garage, and I remember pretending to fall and, in the process, slid the magazine somewhere out of site.  My mother never said anything, so I don't know if she knew what I had done, but I recall feeling proud that I had pulled it off.

Yeah  I bet you did just that..   

[Orbert]

 

[pg1067]

Probably good advice.  One time when my son was maybe 14, I went to his room to ask him something.  He had a desk and chair and stuff, but spent nearly all of his time sitting in his bed, playing on his laptop, reading, whatever.  Anyway, I went to ask him something, and he looked really nervous and acted kinda shifty, and was clearly hiding something under the covers.  I asked what was up with that, and he said "Nothing!" so obviously it was something.  I wasn't thinking, and he was acting suspicious, so I walked over and yanked the covers back.  Mistake.  He'd grabbed a Playboy out of my room and was busy with it.  I just said, "Oh... sorry.  You know, you should at least close your door if you're gonna do that," and as I turned to leave, I added "and make sure you put that back where you found it!"

Could've been awkward, but wasn't, thank God.  Or could've been worse, anyway.  He probably found it really awkward, but hey, chances of it happening at some point were pretty good, so it's not like I was aghast.

That's hilarious.  I remember one time coming home with a Playboy that I had stolen from a local store (back when the sold Playboy and Penthouse at grocery store check-out lines).  I was riding my bike and was putting it away in the garage and, for whatever reason, was holding the magazine in my hand.  My mother came up from into the garage, and I remember pretending to fall and, in the process, slid the magazine somewhere out of site.  My mother never said anything, so I don't know if she knew what I had done, but I recall feeling proud that I had pulled it off.

Yeah  I bet you did just that..   

That occurred later.   

[Orbert]

Back when my kids were younger, McDonald's was in the midst of their SuperSize mania, where what used to be a large order of fries was now small, medium was previously unheard-of, and large was just plain absurd.  Drinks were similarly ridiculous.  Anyway, you don't have a lot of options when you have two young kids and want to grab a quick dinner out, so McDonald's it was.  A "meal deal" was like 10 cents more than a sandwich and drink, so you might as well get the meal, so we ordered four meal deals.  I ate my Royale with Cheese and a handful of fries, and was pretty much done.  My wife and kids barely touched their fries, so as I'm starting to clear the table, I've got this tray with a few wrappers and like two pounds of fries.  I hate wasting food, but no one's going to eat it, and it's not like you can take them home and re-heat them later (ever tried re-heated fries?  Ugh!)  Throwing away that much food really bothers me, even if it's just McDonald's fries.

A couple tables over are three teenaged guys, local highschoolers I'm sure.  I know that when I was a teen, I could easily eat two orders of fries, so I took everything else off the tray and went over to them, asked them if they wanted some fries.  I said there's nothing wrong with them, we just have way too many and no one's gonna finish them, and I kinda gestured back to our table.  They conferred with each other for a few seconds, looked at the mountain of fries on the tray, and I heard one of them say "Dude, free fries, come on!"  They turned to me and basically agreed to take them off of my hands, even thanked me for them.  Win-win.

Mundane But True!

[TAC]

O, you did a real service there, brother.

[Podaar]

Generosity is never a burden to society. Well done.

Those boys must have been the perfect amount of stoned. Just enough to be paranoid about a dude pedaling fries, but munchy enough to take them.

[Orbert]

  I hadn't thought of that, but it makes perfect sense.

[Podaar]

Last week we were sitting at the gate for our flight out of town. In a very Geico commercial way we were a couple of hours early (We missed a flight several years ago and ever since, Mrs. P likes to leave early even though we have TSA pre-check) and decided to plug our phones in to reserve the charge for the four hour plane ride. The chair USB plugs weren’t working so I grabbed a charge block out of my carry-on…but, the power outlet slots were too loose to hold the charge block. It worked, but would immediately fall out onto the floor. Mrs. P’s outlet was exactly the same, and she was having to hold it in place while precariously perching her phone on her lap one handed.

I really wanted to read DTF, and I need both hands to do it, so I got down to problem solving. I tossed out multiple strategies (one involved chewing gum) and ultimately landed on the idea that I’ve got this long cord and since the outlet is below the chair, I could use the cord to take the weight off the charge block. I wrapped the cord around the armrest with just enough dangling down to reach the outlet and it worked perfectly! I could keep the phone plugged and still have two hands to browse DTF and zoom in when needed. I shared my little life-hack with Mrs. P, and she immediately implemented it to great effect.

Time went by, and our boarding time was near. I decided to head off to the toilet for one last piss, so I asked Mrs. P to watch my things and wandered off. Upon returning, I noticed that a women who was sitting in the spot directly behind my chair (they’re back to back you see) had wrapped her phone cord around the armrest in the exact same way we had. Now I don’t know if she had arrived at the same idea I had, or if she’d overheard us, but I’d like to think it was the latter. I’d like to think that my idea had improved her experience at the airport. I don’t typically bother strangers though, so I didn’t ask.

Mundane but true.

[pg1067]

Back when my kids were younger, McDonald's was in the midst of their SuperSize mania, where what used to be a large order of fries was now small, medium was previously unheard-of, and large was just plain absurd.  Drinks were similarly ridiculous.  Anyway, you don't have a lot of options when you have two young kids and want to grab a quick dinner out, so McDonald's it was.  A "meal deal" was like 10 cents more than a sandwich and drink, so you might as well get the meal, so we ordered four meal deals.  I ate my Royale with Cheese and a handful of fries, and was pretty much done.  My wife and kids barely touched their fries, so as I'm starting to clear the table, I've got this tray with a few wrappers and like two pounds of fries.  I hate wasting food, but no one's going to eat it, and it's not like you can take them home and re-heat them later (ever tried re-heated fries?  Ugh!)  Throwing away that much food really bothers me, even if it's just McDonald's fries.

Cool story.

Also, get yourself an air fryer (not just for this purpose), and this will never again be an issue.  Pretty much every time we bring home fast food, the fries go in the air fryer for a few minutes, and it's like they're fresh out of the oil.

[Orbert]

Interesting.  We got an air fryer a few years ago when Mrs. Orbert decided it was the latest thing that she didn't have but needs.  We've never used it, of course.  But the next time I have a bunch of leftover fries or similar, we may need to finally inaugurate the damned thing.

[pg1067]

Interesting.  We got an air fryer a few years ago when Mrs. Orbert decided it was the latest thing that she didn't have but needs.  We've never used it, of course.  But the next time I have a bunch of leftover fries or similar, we may need to finally inaugurate the damned thing.

I was skeptical, but I finally bought one 9-10 months ago.  It gets used at least once a day, and an added bonus is that it keeps the oven from getting turned on as much.

[Orbert]

Last week we were sitting at the gate for our flight out of town. In a very Geico commercial way we were a couple of hours early (We missed a flight several years ago and ever since, Mrs. P likes to leave early even though we have TSA pre-check) and decided to plug our phones in to reserve the charge for the four hour plane ride. The chair USB plugs weren’t working so I grabbed a charge block out of my carry-on…but, the power outlet slots were too loose to hold the charge block. It worked, but would immediately fall out onto the floor. Mrs. P’s outlet was exactly the same, and she was having to hold it in place while precariously perching her phone on her lap one handed.

I really wanted to read DTF, and I need both hands to do it, so I got down to problem solving. I tossed out multiple strategies (one involved chewing gum) and ultimately landed on the idea that I’ve got this long cord and since the outlet is below the chair, I could use the cord to take the weight off the charge block. I wrapped the cord around the armrest with just enough dangling down to reach the outlet and it worked perfectly! I could keep the phone plugged and still have two hands to browse DTF and zoom in when needed. I shared my little life-hack with Mrs. P, and she immediately implemented it to great effect.

Time went by, and our boarding time was near. I decided to head off to the toilet for one last piss, so I asked Mrs. P to watch my things and wandered off. Upon returning, I noticed that a women who was sitting in the spot directly behind my chair (they’re back to back you see) had wrapped her phone cord around the armrest in the exact same way we had. Now I don’t know if she had arrived at the same idea I had, or if she’d overheard us, but I’d like to think it was the latter. I’d like to think that my idea had improved her experience at the airport. I don’t typically bother strangers though, so I didn’t ask.

Mundane but true.

There aren't a lot of sites I "have to" visit while travelling, but after a day or two in a hotel, I do find myself wondering what's happening on DTF.  It's a pain on a phone, but doable.  Sometimes I'll head down to the "business center" (usually an old Dell or eMachines and a printer with no toner) but during Covid times I usually just stay in the room.  I pretty much always prefer to use an actual PC to do anything Internet-related, but I suppose if I had a laptop, that would qualify.

[Cool Chris]

My mom always thinks we need the latest and greatest kitchen gadget, so got us an air fryer a couple years ago. We've used it a couple times, it works well enough, but I have never thought "we should totally make <xxx> in the air fryer tonight!"

I am weird about my caloric intake. I am not a healthy eater by any means. I love soda and would drink it all day, every day, but try and restrict myself to one on the weekends. And when I indulge in "junk" food, I max out the "junk" in food and don't waste any of it on soda. Even if the "meal deal" makes the most sense, I won't ever order it. I do miss the gluttony of my youth though. Don't know if they still do, but Red Robin had unlimited steak fries. When we ate there, when the server brought our food, we told them to get more fries ready, as we were going to want them after 5-10 minutes.

I also always try and check in here when on vacation. It's the first site I get on in the morning on a normal day. I find out things here first, like if a band I like is releasing a new album, or if Russia invades neighboring country.

[Harmony]

OMG don't get me started.  I got an air fryer for my birthday and it is AWESOME (except for one thing).  I cook a lot and I'm using it almost every day.  For lunch I had leftovers that I popped into the AF for a few minutes - roasted salmon, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower - and instead of the mushy leftovers I would've gotten from the microwave, I got the same crunch I got when they were freshly made.

Leftover pizza?  The bomb.  Now I make tortilla pizzas in the AF.  Tortilla, sauce, turkey pepperoni, and some cheese.  3 minutes later, crispy 'crust' with melted cheese and sizzling pepperoni. 

French fries, onion rings, and tots were never better.  Frozen or handmade.

All kinds of roasted veggies.  Minimal mess too because I like using a filter (looks like a coffee filter) that fits perfectly in the basket to catch oils and spatter.  Easy peasy.  You can even make a little nest out of foil and that works well too.

Homemade burritos  - roll up with whatever you want and pop it in.  Cruchy outside, gooey inside. *chef's kiss*

Frozen wontons?  Perfection. 

I still have so much to learn.  I tried pork chops last weekend and I wasn't as successful but cook times on different models vary so I'm really just using my best guess.  There are a plethora of YouTube videos but I haven't honestly taken much time there.  TikTok is a goldmine for recipe ideas.

But what I hate more than anything is the size of the damn thing.  It eats up a whole lot of counter space and is too big for most cupboards.  Plus they are a bit heavy.  So we'll see how long I put up with it left out on the counter. 

[Podaar]

Yea, I use an air fryer a lot too. It's amazing the difference it makes for just heating up polish sausages.

@ Harmony, three words will change your life. Rolling. Cupboard. Shelves.

[Harmony]

Oh yeah, we have those!  Put them in with the kitchen remodel in 2020.  I love them.  But they aren't deep enough for my 15" tall AF, unfortunately.  I'll figure something out.  I hate adjusting shelving but I think that will be the easiest fix at this point.  I definitely want my counter space back. 

[Cool Chris]

Yes our air fryer and InstaPot reside in the garage due to cabinet size limitations, and my dislike for appliances (and clutter in general) on the counter.

[YtseBitsySpider]

Didn’t know where to put this.
I entered the mechanical keyboard hobby.
I bought a full size keychron K4. V2.
LOVE IT!!

[Orbert]

Pictures or it didn't happen.

Come on, man, you know the rules.

[soupytwist]

Over a period of 2 or 3 years I'd often wave at Stephen Fry in the morning and he'd sometimes wave back.

[Orbert]

Stephen Fry seems like a pretty cool guy.  I can only imagine his friendly yet somewhat confused face as he waves back at that guy who has been periodically waving at him over the course of 2 or 3 years.

[jingle.boy]

I tried a steak in the air fryer recently.  It was cooked perfectly, but didn't quite have the sear/crisp on the outside I'd like. Think I'll try a quick sear, then a few minutes in the air fryer next time.

Also, this seems relevant.  Unplug it when it's done.  Better safe than sorry.

[Orbert]

I was on a road trip to Michigan (from northern Illinois) and stopped for gas and maybe something cheap to eat.  They had the food setup with hot dogs, brats, and other sausage-like things on the heated rollers.  Nearby was a vast selection of condiments in covered things with spoons sticking out.  I was trying to decide whether or not to risk it when I saw that they had the relish-and-ketchup mix that I haven't seen since I was a kid, so that decided it for me.  I grabbed two buns, two jumbo hot dogs off the rollers, and covered them both in the relish-and-ketchup mix that I haven't seen since I was a kid.  To this day, I can put just about anything on a hot dog, but relish and ketchup are my go-tos.  Yum!

The first bite was a shock.  It wasn't the relish-and-ketchup mix that I haven't seen since I was a kid.  It was salsa.  After the initial shock of something tasting completely unlike what you expected wore off, I realized that hey... this is pretty good.  The second bite confirmed it.  Hot dogs with salsa are pretty awesome.  Or maybe it was the munchies.  Anyway, a cheap, yummy lunch, then back on the road.

Mundane But True!

[DragonAttack]

Mexican style, or more of the homemade Midwestern homemade canned good type of salsa?  That mixture is so much tamer. 

I ask because my cousin gave me a couple jars on our last visit up there a few years ago.  Just like Mom used to make.

[Orbert]

It was just a generic mild salsa, more of a tame Midwestern style salsa as opposed to anything really spicy.  But it worked because it was a combination of flavors I wouldn't normally put on a hot dog.  I like checking out new flavors and varieties of things to eat, and this was great once I got over the flavor surprise.