The post funny stuff thread v.Aleph-naught

[Chino]

Dafuq does "Karens" mean in this context?

White lady short circuiting and forgetting in the moment that words/actions exist beyond the present.

[Ben_Jamin]

[Phoenix87x]

Karens but with zombie noises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=MCAoMPKWIy0&feature=emb_logo

God that is perfect. 

[ReaperKK]

Because of my wife I fully understand this reference

[Phoenix87x]

[Elite]

That's weird.

[ZKX-2099]

Sounds like a royal flush.

[The Walrus]

[Zydar]

What the hell

[lonestar]

[Zydar]

Nope.

[Stadler]

It's camoflage.  Doesn't she watch those Busch Lite commercials where the guy dressed like a rock (not THE Rock, but A rock) nabs the beer? 

Haha.

Okay, text funny, and at my expense.  I get up this morning to help my stepson get ready for school, first day of remote learning, and I'm sort of the "Apple" guy in my house.  So I'm downstairs and I put the coffee cup in the Keurig and hit "go!".   I look over and I see it overflowing, and I'm like "something's off".  I go and look and see that it's the right size - 10oz. - and yet.. overflow.   It dawns on me... I PUT THE CUP IN UPSIDE DOWN.  So the full cup ends up in the overflow catch and on the counter.  SHIT.  So I make another cup and I cut some banana bread to toast.   All fine, I check on my kid, and go to work.

Now, we had to replace our TV because the thingamabob that controls the doodad shit the bed, so I had a box for a 70" TV that I was going to put downstairs. I couldn't fit it around the corner no matter how I twisted it, so it was ON the stairs, leaning to the side.   I'm going down the steps with my hot coffee and toasted banana bread, and I step on my shoelace and trip, falling onto the box.  Coffee everywhere, including on me and soaked in the banana bread, and a stiff cardboard box shoved in my nethers.   

Insult to injury? There was a company-wide software push update over the weekend so all my automatic log-ins had to be done over.  Insult to the insult to injury?  I go back upstairs to get a replacement cup of coffee (the third of the day) and out of frustration I pick up the box and kind of twist it in mock throw... and it goes right through the side door where I wanted it to go.  It didn't have to be there in the first place!

I was THISCLOSE to going back to bed at that point.  THISCLOSE.

[Lonk]

Don't know if funny but that's an awful way to start the day.

I never done the "upside down" mug, but I did forget to put my coffee mug in the machine once, same result 

[Stadler]

Eh, it's funny.  I don't let those things pile up with me, thank god.  It is what it is and I move on.

Usually. 

[jingle.boy]

Don't know if funny but that's an awful way to start the day.

I never done the "upside down" mug, but I did forget to put my coffee mug in the machine once, same result 

the jingle's have been known to brew a full pot, without emptying the carafe first.   

[The Walrus]

Now, we had to replace our TV because the thingamabob that controls the doodad shit the bed, so I had a box for a 70" TV that I was going to put downstairs. I couldn't fit it around the corner no matter how I twisted it, so it was ON the stairs, leaning to the side.   I'm going down the steps with my hot coffee and toasted banana bread, and I step on my shoelace and trip, falling onto the box.  Coffee everywhere, including on me and soaked in the banana bread, and a stiff cardboard box shoved in my nethers.   

Not ignoring the rest of the story, because this is awful and I feel bad for you, but this particular section, especially the bold, got a belly laugh out of me. I can relate. My parents worry daily that I'm once again going to fall down or up the stairs. 

[v_clortho]

You toast your banana bread?

[cramx3]

It's camoflage.  Doesn't she watch those Busch Lite commercials where the guy dressed like a rock (not THE Rock, but A rock) nabs the beer? 

Haha.

Okay, text funny, and at my expense.  I get up this morning to help my stepson get ready for school, first day of remote learning, and I'm sort of the "Apple" guy in my house.  So I'm downstairs and I put the coffee cup in the Keurig and hit "go!".   I look over and I see it overflowing, and I'm like "something's off".  I go and look and see that it's the right size - 10oz. - and yet.. overflow.   It dawns on me... I PUT THE CUP IN UPSIDE DOWN.  So the full cup ends up in the overflow catch and on the counter.  SHIT.  So I make another cup and I cut some banana bread to toast.   All fine, I check on my kid, and go to work.

Now, we had to replace our TV because the thingamabob that controls the doodad shit the bed, so I had a box for a 70" TV that I was going to put downstairs. I couldn't fit it around the corner no matter how I twisted it, so it was ON the stairs, leaning to the side.   I'm going down the steps with my hot coffee and toasted banana bread, and I step on my shoelace and trip, falling onto the box.  Coffee everywhere, including on me and soaked in the banana bread, and a stiff cardboard box shoved in my nethers.   

Insult to injury? There was a company-wide software push update over the weekend so all my automatic log-ins had to be done over.  Insult to the insult to injury?  I go back upstairs to get a replacement cup of coffee (the third of the day) and out of frustration I pick up the box and kind of twist it in mock throw... and it goes right through the side door where I wanted it to go.  It didn't have to be there in the first place!

I was THISCLOSE to going back to bed at that point.  THISCLOSE.

Sometimes this stupid shit is so bad that you just need to sit back, breathe, and laugh at the absurdity of all these things happening at the same time.  Like, I think after falling down the stairs with that second coffee I'd be so mad, but still just laying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs cracking up thinking "HOW CAN THIS ALL BE HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME?!"  while covered in coffee.

[The Walrus]

Makes me think of the Office scene where Kevin spills the chili everywhere 

[The Walrus]

You toast your banana bread?

ALSO THIS! WTF! 

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

You toast your banana bread?

ALSO THIS! WTF! 

I like doing a light toast on my banana bread, to warm it up. I didn't know this was considered weird.

[T-ski]

You toast your banana bread?

Glad I wasn’t the only one

[King Postwhore]

Grill it. I love doing that with corn bread.

[TAC]

I definitely toast my banana bread. Microwave is fine too. Grilled in a pan is best though. Anything to melt the butter on.

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

I definitely toast my banana bread. Microwave is fine too. Grilled in a pan is best though. Anything to melt the butter on.

Indeed!

[The Walrus]

It's like I don't even know you people. I bet you don't use the fly hole either. 

[King Postwhore]

It's like I don't even know you people. I bet you don't use the fly hole either. 

Faster to pull the band down. You'll know some day.   Lol

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

It's like I don't even know you people. I bet you don't use the fly hole either. 

This entirely depends on what I'm wearing.

[TAC]

WTF? Who wears underwear when eating banana bread?

[King Postwhore]

WTF? Who wears underwear when eating banana bread?

So I need to have my memory wiped clean.

[The Walrus]

You guys are too much 

[Stadler]

You toast your banana bread?

Of course!  I'm not an animal.

I definitely toast my banana bread. Microwave is fine too. Grilled in a pan is best though. Anything to melt the butter on.

That right there.   

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

WTF? Who wears underwear when eating banana bread?

[The Walrus]

Who wears underwear?

[T-ski]

I used to work with a guy who’s last name was Ware. He’d purposely make reservations at places just so he could answer the typical question of “what the name” with “it’s under Ware”.