The post funny stuff thread v.Aleph-naught

[Orbert]

That would be a pretty cool countertop pattern, tho.

[Harmony]

But does it take two hands to get the job done? 

[lonestar]

But does it take two hands to get the job done?

That billboard is severely underestimating my skills.

[Stadler]

Ditto; that billboard is playing checkers, we're playing chess.   

[King Postwhore]

Usually, the other object is on fire, not my hand.

[lonestar]

Usually, the other object is on fire, not my hand.

Friction burns are a thing...shit, during my teen years my junk looked like it rolled out of a speeding car.

[King Postwhore]

Usually, the other object is on fire, not my hand.

Friction burns are a thing...shit, during my teen years my junk looked like it rolled out of a speeding car.

Escaping from you. 

[lonestar]

In those days I beat that thing like it owed me money.

[pg1067]

[lonestar]

[Zydar]

[jingle.boy]

That took me 1/2 a sec, but

[bosk1]

As soon as I read "In space" I knew where it was going. 

[XJDenton]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

[El Barto]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

God dammit. That was the only direction I was even looking and I still didn't see it.

[Cool Chris]

Had to look that one up. I like the Alien one.

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

I had to actually count it out in my head, just to make sure 

[jingle.boy]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

I had to actually count it out in my head, just to make sure 

I’m guessing the symbol for Sodium is “Na”?

[XJDenton]

Yes, from the latin "Natrium"

[jingle.boy]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

I just realized that Batman is 5 atoms behind Jude.

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

I just realized that Batman is 5 atoms behind Jude.

[bosk1]

And one behind my angel.  (when she became the centerfold)

[Zydar]

[Lonk]

Not sure how I missed that batch but I laughed at the Stranger Things one 

[jingle.boy]

From the Hard Times.  I mean, it's not wrong.

Opinion: We Need a Prog Metal Concept Album About the Dangers of Technology!

I’ve been a huge progressive metal fan since the 7th grade when my very confused great aunt bought me Dream Theater’s “Octavarium” instead of the Meet the Fockers DVD I asked for. It’s a wild concept album about the number 8 or stop signs or mixed martial arts, I’m not sure which. But when revisiting that album recently, I realized that someone needs to finally write a concept album about the ills inflicted upon society by rapidly advancing technology.

Why hasn’t anyone ever done this? So many great prog metal bands out there seem to avoid the topic. What are you doing, Queensr˙che? Meshuggah? Symphony X? You could write about genetic modifications or that time Google killed the Google Reader RSS program. But fine, leave a platinum record on the table if you wish.

There are so many angles one could use: AI, social media’s rotting of the mind, too many porn choices to fit into your average Friday evening. The damage done by technology is so obvious! So why are the shreddiest, most asexual metal bands terrified to address it? Maybe it’s because they are all so dependent on technology. Who is Devin Townsend without his eleven delay pedals? Who is John Petrucci without $6,000 guitar amps and a neckbeard? No one, I suppose.

Maybe I need to write this album on my own. I’ll call it… Mission: Thoughttheft. It’s about, like, government surveillance, Instagram giving people body dysmorphia, and big tech eroding the idea of objectivity and truth. Our protagonist (me) is smarter than everyone else and can see the chilling effects of technological dependence. The people won’t listen because they’re too stupid, but he persists. He fights off the robot horde, finds the big mainframe, and headbutts it to Hell where Satan kicks the shit out of it for eternity.

Oh, and the final track is about how Apple took away the Home button and replaced it with a gesture. Is there a better example of technology sucking total ass? I think not.

[Stadler]

For the record, I did NOT write that article (that second to last paragraph almost made me dizzy to read it was like looking in the mirror).

[gmillerdrake]

From the Hard Times.  I mean, it's not wrong.

Opinion: We Need a Prog Metal Concept Album About the Dangers of Technology!

I’ve been a huge progressive metal fan since the 7th grade when my very confused great aunt bought me Dream Theater’s “Octavarium” instead of the Meet the Fockers DVD I asked for. It’s a wild concept album about the number 8 or stop signs or mixed martial arts, I’m not sure which. But when revisiting that album recently, I realized that someone needs to finally write a concept album about the ills inflicted upon society by rapidly advancing technology.

Why hasn’t anyone ever done this? So many great prog metal bands out there seem to avoid the topic. What are you doing, Queensr˙che? Meshuggah? Symphony X? You could write about genetic modifications or that time Google killed the Google Reader RSS program. But fine, leave a platinum record on the table if you wish.

There are so many angles one could use: AI, social media’s rotting of the mind, too many porn choices to fit into your average Friday evening. The damage done by technology is so obvious! So why are the shreddiest, most asexual metal bands terrified to address it? Maybe it’s because they are all so dependent on technology. Who is Devin Townsend without his eleven delay pedals? Who is John Petrucci without $6,000 guitar amps and a neckbeard? No one, I suppose.

Maybe I need to write this album on my own. I’ll call it… Mission: Thoughttheft. It’s about, like, government surveillance, Instagram giving people body dysmorphia, and big tech eroding the idea of objectivity and truth. Our protagonist (me) is smarter than everyone else and can see the chilling effects of technological dependence. The people won’t listen because they’re too stupid, but he persists. He fights off the robot horde, finds the big mainframe, and headbutts it to Hell where Satan kicks the shit out of it for eternity.

Oh, and the final track is about how Apple took away the Home button and replaced it with a gesture. Is there a better example of technology sucking total ass? I think not.

IF there was such an album the first verses could go something like:


Far in the distant future
Beyond the pages of our time
Cold-blooded wicked tyrants
Threaten the freedom of mankind

Corruption, lust and greed
Define the new nobility
Changing the course of history

Across the vast North Empire
Most people struggle to survive
Living a meek existence
While their secluded leader thrives


We are living day to day
Forced to bear the lion's share
People just don't have the time for music anymore
And no one seems to care

My friends I've seen the chosen one
Our quest for freedom has begun
He will be the answer to our prayers

There walks a god among us
Who's seen the writing on the wall
He is the revolution
He'll be the one to save us all

My brother Gabriel is all the hope we need
Shining like a beacon in the night
Shepherd of Ravenskill
A reason to believe

Music is the gift he brings
The songbird stops to listen when he sings

[TAC]

From the Hard Times.  I mean, it's not wrong.

Opinion: We Need a Prog Metal Concept Album About the Dangers of Technology!

Believe it or not, this was the first idea I had when brainstorming for Puppies Concept Album round.
I was thinking more along the lines of Social Media, but it kind of went out the window by Puppies' harsh words for Accept when reviewing Kade's EP last round. I was planning on building it around Overnight Sensation.

[jingle.boy]

From the Hard Times.  I mean, it's not wrong.

Opinion: We Need a Prog Metal Concept Album About the Dangers of Technology!

Believe it or not, this was the first idea I had when brainstorming for Puppies Concept Album round.
I was thinking more along the lines of Social Media, but it kind of went out the window by Puppies' harsh words for Accept when reviewing Kade's EP last round. I was planning on building it around Overnight Sensation.

Building your submission around the theme of one song!?!? Sacre bleu!

[King Postwhore]

Mile Marker Zero did that concept.   No joke.

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

Mile Marker Zero did that concept.   No joke.

I was gonna say, there are several concept albums very similar to the idea pitched in that article.

[King Postwhore]

For sure. Kilroy Was Here. Ect.  That's the joke though.

[TAC]

From the Hard Times.  I mean, it's not wrong.

Opinion: We Need a Prog Metal Concept Album About the Dangers of Technology!

Believe it or not, this was the first idea I had when brainstorming for Puppies Concept Album round.
I was thinking more along the lines of Social Media, but it kind of went out the window by Puppies' harsh words for Accept when reviewing Kade's EP last round. I was planning on building it around Overnight Sensation.

Building your submission around the theme of one song!?!? Sacre bleu!

Blue sugar?


And it's not so much building it around a song, but sometimes a song can steer you in a certain direction, and once Overnight Sensation was ruled out, I lost the plot.


However, once I heard another song, my current concept album came to me all at once.

[King Postwhore]

Da Fuq Tim?!  Lol

[pg1067]

This is nearly two years old, but I stumbled on it today.  I want to feel bad for the guy when someone starts laughing right out of the box, but it's just too damn funny...and he does it with a completely straight face!

https://twitter.com/CharlesRobinson/status/1301144359287558146?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1301144359287558146%7Ctwgr%5E18fc9a550538d2fc49e38a2a9b9483258914811e%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cracked.com%2Farticle_28525_boneless-wings-arent-wings-but-why-stop-food-there.html