My Not So Awesome New Underwear....

[Snow Dog]

Funny responses....

I only wear boxer briefs.
I only wear underwear with a fly hole. as any sane person would...
Bikini briefs have not been a thing for me since high school.

If I at a concert and I have to pee in a stall, I ain't messing around with underwear without a fly hole. Ludicrous....


But to the original point. What would be the reason a pair of mens underwear would be made without a fly hole?

Because it's unnecessary.  Why don't bathing suits have a fly hole?  Why don't gym shorts have a fly hole?  Why don't sweat pants?  I'm sure in the history of mankind, many people have been able to figure out how to pee while we wearing any of those garments.  Sane or insane.

My bathing suit has a flyhole... Why aren't you buying swim trunks with a flyhole? Gym shorts don't have a fly hole because you don't want your twig and berries dropping out during a squat. 

But you do when you hop in the lake or in the hotel whirlpool?

Well yeah. Buoyancy for the boys.  The flyhole is velcro'd, actually, so it's awesome.

See, a velcro flyhole sounds even more pointless. The idea of a flyhole is access to one’s junk for relieving himself, right?  Now, who wants to pull their firehose through that with the good chance of experiencing the equivalent feeling of barbs or sandpaper? No thanks.

[The Walrus]

Funny responses....

I only wear boxer briefs.
I only wear underwear with a fly hole. as any sane person would...
Bikini briefs have not been a thing for me since high school.

If I at a concert and I have to pee in a stall, I ain't messing around with underwear without a fly hole. Ludicrous....


But to the original point. What would be the reason a pair of mens underwear would be made without a fly hole?

Because it's unnecessary.  Why don't bathing suits have a fly hole?  Why don't gym shorts have a fly hole?  Why don't sweat pants?  I'm sure in the history of mankind, many people have been able to figure out how to pee while we wearing any of those garments.  Sane or insane.

My bathing suit has a flyhole... Why aren't you buying swim trunks with a flyhole? Gym shorts don't have a fly hole because you don't want your twig and berries dropping out during a squat. 

But you do when you hop in the lake or in the hotel whirlpool?

Well yeah. Buoyancy for the boys.  The flyhole is velcro'd, actually, so it's awesome.

See, a velcro flyhole sounds even more pointless. The idea of a flyhole is access to one’s junk for relieving himself, right?  Now, who wants to pull their firehose through that with the good chance of experiencing the equivalent feeling of barbs or sandpaper? No thanks.

It's not like you're pulling your noodle through a tiny crevice like you're playing Indiana Jones with it, there's PLENTY of room. And it doesn't feel like sandpaper or barbs, it's soft velcro, but stays sealed with zero problems. Guys, trust me. It's super convenient. 

[Tick]

Ok....

Long and short of all this is....

I need a damn fly hole.


And I personally find the bathing suit analogy a weak one. I don't require a fly hole in a bathing suit because I'm not going to a sporting event of concert in my swim trunks. When I walk up to a stall I want easy access to my pecker. That's just me...

[emtee]

I thought everyone peed in the pool. No need for a fly hole.

[pg1067]

You guys act like using the hole is like solving the fucking Rubik's Cube.


I can't unzip my pants and then pull the underwear down. That's just asking for trouble.

Right?!?!  This is such a surreal thread.  I'm almost 53, and I have never once thought to unzip my pants and reach up to stretch the underwear down.  What an absolutely bizarre notion to me.  The only time I do that is if I wear what we call "athletic pants," and which I think are also sometimes called joggers, which don't have a fly, so have no choice but to pull them down, so the underwear comes down in the same motion.

P.S.  Why do I have a feeling this is going to become the new shopping cart thread?

[The Walrus]

I thought everyone peed in the pool. No need for a fly hole.

This is why I no longer go into pools. 

[Tick]

You guys act like using the hole is like solving the fucking Rubik's Cube.


I can't unzip my pants and then pull the underwear down. That's just asking for trouble.

Right?!?!  This is such a surreal thread.  I'm almost 53, and I have never once thought to unzip my pants and reach up to stretch the underwear down.  What an absolutely bizarre notion to me.  The only time I do that is if I wear what we call "athletic pants," and which I think are also sometimes called joggers, which don't have a fly, so have no choice but to pull them down, so the underwear comes down in the same motion.

P.S.  Why do I have a feeling this is going to become the new shopping cart thread?

Agreed...

I can't believe that some say they don't need a fly hole in their underwear. That's fucking bizarre. Never saw it coming!

[Evermind]

This thread is honestly some sort of a revelation for me because I never knew such thing as a fly hole existed. Wow. None of my underwear have a fly hole, why would it.

[Stadler]

I thought everyone peed in the pool. No need for a fly hole.

Bingo.  It's redundant.

[jingle.boy]

Let's hope Tim puts this cart back in the corral.

[The Walrus]

This thread is honestly some sort of a revelation for me because I never knew such thing as a fly hole existed. Wow. None of my underwear have a fly hole, why would it.

Fly holes, Backstreet Boys... boy you're having a revelatory year 

[DragonAttack]

What do you do if you need a break when shooting hoops when wearing gym short?  Pull them down, then use the hole?  I have just always used the 'double cusp' method.

(distractions like this on DTF are so good for the soul at times like this )

[Stadler]

You guys act like using the hole is like solving the fucking Rubik's Cube.


I can't unzip my pants and then pull the underwear down. That's just asking for trouble.

I used to be a "insert thumb and yank" guy too, but there were too many times after a couple beers where the elastic snapped back and chaos ensued.    I'd prefer the vent as well. 

[The Walrus]

What do you do if you need a break when shooting hoops when wearing gym short?  Pull them down, then use the hole?  I have just always used the 'double cusp' method.

(distractions like this on DTF are so good for the soul at times like this )

I need to know what the 'double cusp' method is. This is news to me.

I wear basketball shorts every day. Most of the time the absolute quickest way to do it is just to simply move your boxers and short leg out of the way. I think I know what the replies are going to be to this, but again, trust me on this.

[jammindude]

This reminds me of when my wife told a story about some old friends her and her ex had.

Apparently, when they got married, one of the moms thought she would play a practical joke by sewing the fly holes shut on all the sons underwear. She got really freaked out when it had been several months and no one noticed. apparently, in the culture she came from, men kept their underwear on to bump uglies.

That story still makes me laugh because I just can’t imagine an entire generation of men who would not even bother to get undressed to do the nasty.

(Keep in mind that my wife’s friends would’ve been baby boomers, meaning that their parents may have even been from the depression era.)

[El Barto]

I wear basketball shorts every day. Most of the time the absolute quickest way to do it is just to simply move your boxers and short leg out of the way. I think I know what the replies are going to be to this, but again, trust me on this.

Ah, the third option. And a viable one, at that. I wear jersey knit boxers around the casa, and just scooching them over is as simple as it gets.

[kirksnosehair]

Not a fan of boxer briefs in general.

Be boxers.  Or be briefs.

This. And now it's getting harder and harder to find one or the other because everybody's buying these godawful abominations. It used to be 50/50 boxers and briefs at the store. Now it's 50% boxer-briefs, and 50% one or the other. Eh, that's why Jesus invented Amazon.

As for the fly, pants and shorts need flies. Underwear doesn't. It's elastic a the top. Easier to just pull the front down than fumble around with a dumb fly.

Yeah, I have to say, I don't believe I've ever used the fly hole in a pair of briefs to take a piss.  I just pull my junk out the side of the underwear, between the leg and the taint. Let my shower fly, then tuck my little fire-fighter safely back behind the underwear so he can't get his helmet caught in the zipper of my pants           

[pg1067]

What do you do if you need a break when shooting hoops when wearing gym short?  Pull them down, then use the hole?  I have just always used the 'double cusp' method.

(distractions like this on DTF are so good for the soul at times like this )

I need to know what the 'double cusp' method is. This is news to me.

I wear basketball shorts every day. Most of the time the absolute quickest way to do it is just to simply move your boxers and short leg out of the way. I think I know what the replies are going to be to this, but again, trust me on this.

With most folks working from home, I've taken to wearing athletic shorts to the office.  When I use the urinal, I hike up the right leg and use the fly hole in the briefs.  Seems like the simplest way that doesn't involve stretching things that might snap back on me (which is what I think Stadler was mentioning).

[Tick]

This thread is honestly some sort of a revelation for me because I never knew such thing as a fly hole existed. Wow. None of my underwear have a fly hole, why would it.

How long have you been wearing ladies underwear?

[King Postwhore]

Bull Durham taught me where to put the Rose in the front.

[PetFish]

NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT!

Coincidentally, I actually conducted a survey on this at work only a few months ago and out of the 26 men only 2 said they use the wiener slot and 1 chose not to answer, so 3/25 use the wiener slot which is 12% which is low enough to qualify that NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT.

[TAC]

NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT!

Coincidentally, I actually conducted a survey on this at work only a few months ago and out of the 26 men only 2 said they use the wiener slot and 1 chose not to answer, so 3/25 use the wiener slot which is 12% which is low enough to qualify that NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT.

You did what?

And you still work there?

[hunnus2000]

Well - because of this thread - this Friday ended on an interesting note. 

I never knew that the dick hole was intended for pee usage but my bikini briefs doesn't come with dick holes. Don't judge me but my briefs cost about 15 bucks a piece but they're incredibly comfortable and they make me feel special! 

[Dublagent66]

           

[The Walrus]

NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT!

Coincidentally, I actually conducted a survey on this at work only a few months ago and out of the 26 men only 2 said they use the wiener slot and 1 chose not to answer, so 3/25 use the wiener slot which is 12% which is low enough to qualify that NOBODY USES THE WIENER SLOT.

You did what?

And you still work there?

I got a huge LOL out of this

[King Postwhore]

[Tick]

I use the wiener slot. Always have. Always will.

Fly Holes Matter

[Phoenix87x]

Personally, i like to pull my underwear all the way down around my ankles and hold my arms up in the air like i’m on a roller coaster when i piss.

[hunnus2000]

I use the wiener slot. Always have. Always will.

Fly Holes Matter

Do you kneel when taking a piss? 

[TAC]

Fly Holes Matter

All holes matter!

[King Postwhore]

Fly Holes Matter

All holes matter!

I'm not really shocked to find this out Tim.

[jammindude]

Personally, i like to pull my underwear all the way down around my ankles and hold my arms up in the air like i’m on a roller coaster when i piss.

I would pay money for that TickTock video in a public restroom!

[TAC]

Personally, i like to pull my underwear all the way down around my ankles and hold my arms up in the air like i’m on a roller coaster when i piss.

I would pay money for that TickTock video in a public restroom!

I would pay money to not see it.

[The Walrus]

I would pay money for someone to force TAC to watch it.

[King Postwhore]

I would pay money for TAC to accept technology.