My Not So Awesome New Underwear....

[The Walrus]

I tried boxers for awhile, but I just couldn't do it.  I might be 50, but I never wore my jeans so loose that boxers became a viable option. 

I'm not an overstuffed sausage with a muffin top, but I tend to wear my jeans fairly snug, so boxers just bunch up and give me visible panty lines.   Boxer briefs are where it's at. 

And I still don't understand how that fly hole could possibly be easier than pulling down the top.   I have to pull the outer flap one way, then pull the inner flap the other way, and then try to reach inside and down to pull it out, and even then it feels like pissing while wearing a cock ring.     Next you guys are going to be telling me that you don't undo the top button of your pants either.    Because that's what it would feel like to me...like trying to reach through the zipper without undoing your top button.    So if the top of your pants are already undone anyway, how is it not easier to just flip down the top of your drawers?   Seriously, it's less steps.   You guys should try it sometime.   

See there's the rub (pun intended). Regular boxers have a much simpler and better flyhole than tighty whiteys. They're not designed to have so much overlap in the flap that it looks like it was designed to keep out COVID, they're designed to be roomy and comfortable, so there is zero difficulty letting the kid peek out through the curtain when necessary. Now if you've never experienced this you might be thinking, it's too easy to escape and get pinched in the zipper. But you're wrong! Unless you're Shaq I guess.

[jammindude]

I tried boxers for awhile, but I just couldn't do it.  I might be 50, but I never wore my jeans so loose that boxers became a viable option. 

I'm not an overstuffed sausage with a muffin top, but I tend to wear my jeans fairly snug, so boxers just bunch up and give me visible panty lines.   Boxer briefs are where it's at. 

And I still don't understand how that fly hole could possibly be easier than pulling down the top.   I have to pull the outer flap one way, then pull the inner flap the other way, and then try to reach inside and down to pull it out, and even then it feels like pissing while wearing a cock ring.     Next you guys are going to be telling me that you don't undo the top button of your pants either.    Because that's what it would feel like to me...like trying to reach through the zipper without undoing your top button.    So if the top of your pants are already undone anyway, how is it not easier to just flip down the top of your drawers?   Seriously, it's less steps.   You guys should try it sometime.   

See there's the rub (pun intended). Regular boxers have a much simpler and better flyhole than tighty whiteys. They're not designed to have so much overlap in the flap that it looks like it was designed to keep out COVID, they're designed to be roomy and comfortable, so there is zero difficulty letting the kid peek out through the curtain when necessary. Now if you've never experienced this you might be thinking, it's too easy to escape and get pinched in the zipper. But you're wrong! Unless you're Shaq I guess.

The part about the boxers is true.  They are absolutely easier to get out of in the flyhole department.   But again, I end up with wads of extra fabric in my pants because I tend to wear my pants snug.    I've seen guys that wear pants that don't hug their butts and they always look like the homeless guy in downtown Seattle who just dropped a deuce in his trunks.   I'd rather not put that image in anyone's mind as I'm walking by.   

[Stadler]

Dudes, your discussion is on a whole 'nother level.  "What my ass looks like" isn't even on the radar.  I wear Oxfords 98% of the time for the very reason that it takes the "ass" out of play. Pants for me have two functions at this point in my life:  a color that doesn't clash too badly with the shirt I wear, and to provide a gentle cradle for the parts I care about most: Phil, Mike and Tony. 

[hunnus2000]

"Racking" - I guess I'm showing my age. To be fair, the two times it happened was when I was wearing slacks at work and then I went to cross my legs and the nads migrated to a most uncomfortable position. Briefs (especially bikini briefs) keep the little Generals in place and like I said, they make me feel special! 

But for those of you who insist on dick holes, what do you do about say sweatpants? You know, the Rocky Balboa type sweatpants. Do you pull them down and then open the dick hole and pee or do you just pull everything down. Or, do you buy designer workout clothes with preinstalled dick holes? And if you do go the designer route, do you wear crazy cool medallions around your neck?

[TAC]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

[The Walrus]

"Racking" - I guess I'm showing my age. To be fair, the two times it happened was when I was wearing slacks at work and then I went to cross my legs and the nads migrated to a most uncomfortable position. Briefs (especially bikini briefs) keep the little Generals in place and like I said, they make me feel special! 

But for those of you who insist on dick holes, what do you do about say sweatpants? You know, the Rocky Balboa type sweatpants. Do you pull them down and then open the dick hole and pee or do you just pull everything down. Or, do you buy designer workout clothes with preinstalled dick holes? And if you do go the designer route, do you wear crazy cool medallions around your neck?

I don't wear sweatpants but! if I'm at home, I'm either in basketball shorts or pajama pants - especially the pants in colder months. Sometimes I use the fly hole in the PJ pants, other times I'll just pull it down. Elastic waistbands ensure both options are equally viable and efficient, and if I choose to pull it down, guarantees I won't be peeing like a five year old with my pants on the ground in my own bathroom.  Which is even funnier because my pajama pants are Guardian of the Galaxy pants.

I haven't worn sweatpants since I was a kid. Do they make sweatpants with dick holes? Like those old school pajama pants with the butt flap, but for your front. Ball flap. Junk flap?

[jammindude]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Well there’s the issue. If you imagine that there are those of us out there who are pulling down the top of our underwear without unbuttoning our pants that would create a weird visual.

I suppose I might have it started because when I was a teenager was when 501 button fly Levi’s were all the rage. Just undoing the middle buttons was not an option. And it’s not like you’re pulling your pants down. Your butt stays completely covered. But the entire front of your pants is already open anyway, so why not just pull the top of your underwear down. Easy Peezy.

Even after I switched back to zipper pants, I was already deep into the habit and it was far easier.

[Dublagent66]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Uh Tim, sometimes you really worry me.  How the hell would it be possible to pull down your undies without unbuckling belt and unbuttoning your pants first?  Everything has a point of order.  When I'm wearing pants I, 1). Unbuckle.  2). Unbutton.  3). Unzip.  4).  Pull everything down at once just enough to whip out the big kahuna.   You can't pull down undies without completing the first 3 steps. 

[TAC]

1. Unzip
2. Fish the hole

That’s two less steps!!

[jammindude]

1. Unzip
2. Fish the hole

That’s two less steps!!

Except “fishing the hole” is actually like pulling a water weenie out of two opposing elastic bands and then through a slightly larger hole that happens to have teeth.

[Dublagent66]

1. Unzip
2. Fish the hole

That’s two less steps!!

Except “fishing the hole” is actually like pulling a water weenie out of two opposing elastic bands and then through a slightly larger hole that happens to have teeth.

That's it, and my package too beaucoup to take the risk.

[Stadler]

My god.  I get there are preferences - I clearly have mine - but some of you are talking like the act of removing your jimmy to pee is akin to raking it along five feet of broken glass, slamming it with a hammer, then setting fire to it. 

[jammindude]

My god.  I get there are preferences - I clearly have mine - but some of you are talking like the act of removing your jimmy to pee is akin to raking it along five feet of broken glass, slamming it with a hammer, then setting fire to it. 

It’s not “harmful”...it’s just a huge pain in the ass and maybe even a bit risky. Undo the pants, pull down, and “plop” seems far easier and safer.

[jingle.boy]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Uh Tim, sometimes you really worry me.  How the hell would it be possible to pull down your undies without unbuckling belt and unbuttoning your pants first?  Everything has a point of order.  When I'm wearing pants I, 1). Unbuckle.  2). Unbutton.  3). Unzip.  4).  Pull everything down at once just enough to whip out the big kahuna.   You can't pull down undies without completing the first 3 steps. 

You most certainly can. I’ve never paid so much attention to how I piss at a toilet these past few days. My glitch inventory is about 50/50 with/without fly-hole.  I never unbutton the top of my pants/shorts.  So for the glitch without the dick shudders, after I unzip, I loop both thumbs above the band, and yank down. The whole package comes out - slim Jim AND the twins - the latter protecting from an unfortunate upwards release of the elastic band. That’s a mess and a pinch that no one should ever have happen twice. For the glitch with the fly hole, index and middle finger of each hand to spread the flap like Christopher Reeves switching from Clark to Supes. The ‘boys’ stay home for this trip, only Johnson needs to come out.

This ain’t rocket science, or counting time to The Dance of Eternity.

[Stadler]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Uh Tim, sometimes you really worry me.  How the hell would it be possible to pull down your undies without unbuckling belt and unbuttoning your pants first?  Everything has a point of order.  When I'm wearing pants I, 1). Unbuckle.  2). Unbutton.  3). Unzip.  4).  Pull everything down at once just enough to whip out the big kahuna.   You can't pull down undies without completing the first 3 steps. 

You most certainly can. I’ve never paid so much attention to how I piss at a toilet these past few days. My glitch inventory is about 50/50 with/without fly-hole.  I never unbutton the top of my pants/shorts.  So for the glitch without the dick shudders, after I unzip, I loop both thumbs above the band, and yank down. The whole package comes out - slim Jim AND the twins - the latter protecting from an unfortunate upwards release of the elastic band. That’s a mess and a pinch that no one should ever have happen twice. For the glitch with the fly hole, index and middle finger of each hand to spread the flap like Christopher Reeves switching from Clark to Supes. The ‘boys’ stay home for this trip, only Johnson needs to come out.

This ain’t rocket science, or counting time to The Dance of Eternity.

Me too, bro, me too.  I even tested out the various methods, including going so far as to dropping my shorts and undies to my ankles yesterday, as if I was three.  It was freeing, but it was uncomfortable feeling "exposed" like that.  Definitely compromised the quality of the pee itself. 

[jammindude]

Speaking of my earlier post, does anyone still wear button fly jeans? I haven’t been able to find them lately, but I really liked them when they were in fashion. I never stopped liking them, everyone just stopped carrying them and now I feel like I kind of miss them. But I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Maybe it’s time to go get me a few pairs.

[Tick]

So using a fly hole is too challenging for some eh?

Its really quite easy and very efficient. Easy out, easy back in. No mess, no fuss....

[pg1067]

Speaking of my earlier post, does anyone still wear button fly jeans? I haven’t been able to find them lately, but I really liked them when they were in fashion. I never stopped liking them, everyone just stopped carrying them and now I feel like I kind of miss them. But I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Maybe it’s time to go get me a few pairs.

I can't recall ever seeing men's button-fly jeans other than Levi's 501s ( https://www.levi.com/US/en_US/jeans-by-fit-number/men/jeans/501/c/levi_jeans_by_fit_number_men_jeans_501 ).  I used to wear them, but the style hasn't worked for me for a long time, so I either buy a different style of Levi's or another brand (Old Navy or Eddie Bauer).

[hunnus2000]

Speaking of my earlier post, does anyone still wear button fly jeans? I haven’t been able to find them lately, but I really liked them when they were in fashion. I never stopped liking them, everyone just stopped carrying them and now I feel like I kind of miss them. But I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Maybe it’s time to go get me a few pairs.

Bring them back?  Oh Hail to the NAW!

I had them back in the day when I still had my high school girly figure and my epiphany happened when I was at a club drinking burrahh and I could feel my bladder swelling like a water balloon. I run to the bathroom and immediately realized that these stupid buttons were the worst idea ever invented. EVER!

Please don't temp evil demons or try and do a Raiders of the Lost Ark and bring them back! We're in dark enough times already............

[jammindude]

So using a fly hole is too challenging for some eh?

Its really quite easy and very efficient. Easy out, easy back in. No mess, no fuss....

I've tried it.  Reaching in while I'm trying to pee makes me look like I'm molesting myself because it's like in and down.  Then once I get to it, I have to pull it out and through.   Then trying to tuck it back in is like trying to put the snake back in a trick can.  I honestly can't wrap my head around the entire process not being a bit uncomfortable and embarrassing. 

[jammindude]

Speaking of my earlier post, does anyone still wear button fly jeans? I haven’t been able to find them lately, but I really liked them when they were in fashion. I never stopped liking them, everyone just stopped carrying them and now I feel like I kind of miss them. But I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Maybe it’s time to go get me a few pairs.

Bring them back?  Oh Hail to the NAW!

I had them back in the day when I still had my high school girly figure and my epiphany happened when I was at a club drinking burrahh and I could feel my bladder swelling like a water balloon. I run to the bathroom and immediately realized that these stupid buttons were the worst idea ever invented. EVER!

Please don't temp evil demons or try and do a Raiders of the Lost Ark and bring them back! We're in dark enough times already............

 

I will admit that they need to be broken in when they are new.  It only takes a wash or two before the buttons are far more forgiving, and extremely easy. 

[Dublagent66]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Uh Tim, sometimes you really worry me.  How the hell would it be possible to pull down your undies without unbuckling belt and unbuttoning your pants first?  Everything has a point of order.  When I'm wearing pants I, 1). Unbuckle.  2). Unbutton.  3). Unzip.  4).  Pull everything down at once just enough to whip out the big kahuna.   You can't pull down undies without completing the first 3 steps. 

You most certainly can. I’ve never paid so much attention to how I piss at a toilet these past few days. My glitch inventory is about 50/50 with/without fly-hole.  I never unbutton the top of my pants/shorts.  So for the glitch without the dick shudders, after I unzip, I loop both thumbs above the band, and yank down. The whole package comes out - slim Jim AND the twins - the latter protecting from an unfortunate upwards release of the elastic band. That’s a mess and a pinch that no one should ever have happen twice. For the glitch with the fly hole, index and middle finger of each hand to spread the flap like Christopher Reeves switching from Clark to Supes. The ‘boys’ stay home for this trip, only Johnson needs to come out.

This ain’t rocket science, or counting time to The Dance of Eternity.

Well, I guess it all depends on the package.  Mine can't play Houdini.  The undies just aren't coming down without the jeans unfastened first.  What would be the point?  Might as well just have a flyhole.

[jammindude]

The point is not having to reach inside at all. Heck, most times I don’t even have to try too hard to aim. The side of my thumbs (which are being used to hold down the elastic anyway) keep things from going too far right or left. No other place to go but straight down.

I end up washing my hands anyway...but most of the time, I can do the whole process with zero grabbing or hand holding at all.  I can’t imagine having to unzip, reach in, reach through, grab, fish it out, hold it, then try to stuff everything back in when I’m done. It sounds like trying to put Pillsbury biscuits back in the cardboard roll.

[hefdaddy42]

1. Unzip
2. Fish the hole

That’s two less steps!!

Goddammit, I agree with TAC.

[TAC]

Goddammit, I agree with TAC.

[Stadler]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

[TAC]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

I'm typing this response with my dick, actually.

[Stadler]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

I'm typing this response with my dick, actually.

Has that been King's excuse all along?

[JayOctavarium]

So I wear mainly "compression style" sport boxer briefs. Usually longer legged. I'm weird. I don't really use the flyhole.  Recently, my GF has ordered us matching His/Her undies from a few different places (like MeUndies).  Well, one of pairs she ordered us from some small company turned out to be some of the most comfy pairs I've ever worn. But... There's no flyhole. I mentioned that I don't use the flyhole, yet it bugs the shit out of me that these don't have one

[The Walrus]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

I'm typing this response with my dick, actually.

Has that been King's excuse all along?

 

[The Walrus]

You pull it all down at once.

The thing is, when I'm wearing pants, when I take a piss, I don't in buckle my belt, and unbutton my pants. Once I unzip, I don't find it safe to then pull down my underwear. Too many zipper teeth.

Uh Tim, sometimes you really worry me.  How the hell would it be possible to pull down your undies without unbuckling belt and unbuttoning your pants first?  Everything has a point of order.  When I'm wearing pants I, 1). Unbuckle.  2). Unbutton.  3). Unzip.  4).  Pull everything down at once just enough to whip out the big kahuna.   You can't pull down undies without completing the first 3 steps. 

You most certainly can. I’ve never paid so much attention to how I piss at a toilet these past few days. My glitch inventory is about 50/50 with/without fly-hole.  I never unbutton the top of my pants/shorts.  So for the glitch without the dick shudders, after I unzip, I loop both thumbs above the band, and yank down. The whole package comes out - slim Jim AND the twins - the latter protecting from an unfortunate upwards release of the elastic band. That’s a mess and a pinch that no one should ever have happen twice. For the glitch with the fly hole, index and middle finger of each hand to spread the flap like Christopher Reeves switching from Clark to Supes. The ‘boys’ stay home for this trip, only Johnson needs to come out.

This ain’t rocket science, or counting time to The Dance of Eternity.

Me too, bro, me too.  I even tested out the various methods, including going so far as to dropping my shorts and undies to my ankles yesterday, as if I was three.  It was freeing, but it was uncomfortable feeling "exposed" like that.  Definitely compromised the quality of the pee itself.

Thank you for this thread and this post, DTF/Stadler. 

[King Postwhore]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

I'm typing this response with my dick, actually.

Has that been King's excuse all along?

r9bv9erk8UJEIG!!

[TAC]

King drops the nuggets down at the same time, typing by power chord.

[King Postwhore]

If it's my penis it would be a bar chord.

[pg1067]

Another message I'm taking from this thread is apparently everyone except me is hung like adult stallions with grapefruits for testicles.   

I'm reading it as just the opposite...as though using the fly hole is akin to reaching into a large box to search for a grain of rice.  It also sounds like folks pee in restrooms where they are watched as they take their leaks.  Seriously, "I can't use the fly hold because I look like I'm fondling myself."  What?  Who's watching you, and why would it take more than a quarter second to unleash the hound?