The "How is everyone doing?" Thread

[FlyingBIZKIT]

There's conversations like this throughout some threads, like the general chat, what made you happy/pissed off today?, Coronavirus and so forth; I wanted to make a thread to just do a general check in with the DTF community and see what's going on in your lives right now. I don't post here frequently and seem to take breaks a year at a time, but I often think about all of you and the wonderful friendships we've formed. And the music. Oh, the music I've discovered through you.

Usually, the question of "How's it going?" is a surface level entry way for some small talk, but I'm genuinely curious to know how you're all doing and what's going on for you. The good, the bad, the exciting, the dull, whatever it may be.

[gmillerdrake]

Well....I would have to say for me the past eight weeks has been the most stressful of my life. That’s how long I’ve Been furloughed. I’ve spent five of those weeks in constant search for a job as well with only a handful of interviews out of literally 60 plus applications filled out.

The majority of the jobs I went for were just jobs I’d have taken then left when called back from furlough and near all of them told me I was overqualified for the positions. I was applying for ‘simple’ CAD drafting positions thinking with my skill set it’d be a no brainer to bring me in. It actually worked against me.

But, I am in the final stages of an interview with a rather large global medical company, STERIS, to where if I do get this position it’ll be a really nice career advancement. I’ve interviewed well thus far and the manager likes me for the position. I have two more people to speak with and then he believes they’d be ready to offer me the spot.

The biggest change for me would be the fact every other week I’d be traveling a couple days a week to the construction sites that would fall into my territory. It’d be something to get adjusted to BUT the compensation that comes with this position would make it ‘worth’ it for our family. It’s literally a 50% pay increase from what I’m making now and has a ton of smaller perks along with it.

I am not basing the decision to take the position if offered off of just the money either. I’ve learned that lesson. This is a position I applied for at the same company 6 years ago but didn’t make it out of the second round of interviews. Well, the guy they hired then has now left so I’m going for it again. It’s a position that perfectly fits all of my experience and talents......and a spot I’ve kept my eye open for. So, I’m hopeful that it works out. Otherwise, I’m just sticking the furlough out and waiting to be called back. Which is stressful.

[lordxizor]

I'll be honest. I'm struggling. Just a lot of general mid-life crap (marriage, work, suburban lifestyle) on top of all the crap going on in the world right now. I'm in a way better place than a was 6 months ago due to a lot of self improvement I've been working on, but still having a hard time with some stuff.

Thanks for asking. 

[lordxizor]

But, I am in the final stages of an interview with a rather large global medical company, STERIS, to where if I do get this position it’ll be a really nice career advancement. I’ve interviewed well thus far and the manager likes me for the position. I have two more people to speak with and then he believes they’d be ready to offer me the spot.

Which location are you interviewing at? I work for STERIS. Doubtful it's in my business unit or would know anyone you're interviewing with, but I'd be happy to put in a good word for you if I did.

[gmillerdrake]

But, I am in the final stages of an interview with a rather large global medical company, STERIS, to where if I do get this position it’ll be a really nice career advancement. I’ve interviewed well thus far and the manager likes me for the position. I have two more people to speak with and then he believes they’d be ready to offer me the spot.

Which location are you interviewing at? I work for STERIS. Doubtful it's in my business unit or would know anyone you're interviewing with, but I'd be happy to put in a good word for you if I did.

It’s a remote position based out of Columbia MO.....but I live in St. Louis. It’s the ‘Installation Project Manager’ position. Basically overseeing and coordinating all the installs of the equipment ordered for whatever project....you know the large Sterilizers, OR lights, video integration etc etc.

I buy that stuff from STERIS now and is how I know about the position and company. One of the regional managers, Brian Chier, is a buddy of mine and “we’ve” been trying to get me in the company for a few years now. I interviewed with Phil Avila.... he’d be my manager. I have an interview to do with his boss (who I don’t know his name) and an interview with recruiting to go over some “what if” scenario’s.

Phil told me he likes me for the spot....that I’d just have to do good with these other two interviews. I like the company and know that there is room for career advancement and its a place I could retire from so I REALLY want to get in.

[lordxizor]

But, I am in the final stages of an interview with a rather large global medical company, STERIS, to where if I do get this position it’ll be a really nice career advancement. I’ve interviewed well thus far and the manager likes me for the position. I have two more people to speak with and then he believes they’d be ready to offer me the spot.

Which location are you interviewing at? I work for STERIS. Doubtful it's in my business unit or would know anyone you're interviewing with, but I'd be happy to put in a good word for you if I did.

It’s a remote position based out of Columbia MO.....but I live in St. Louis. It’s the ‘Installation Project Manager’ position. Basically overseeing and coordinating all the installs of the equipment ordered for whatever project....you know the large Sterilizers, OR lights, video integration etc etc.

I buy that stuff from STERIS now and is how I know about the position and company. One of the regional managers, Brian Chier, is a buddy of mine and “we’ve” been trying to get me in the company for a few years now. I interviewed with Phil Avila.... he’d be my manager. I have an interview to do with his boss (who I don’t know his name) and an interview with recruiting to go over some “what if” scenario’s.

Phil told me he likes me for the spot....that I’d just have to do good with these other two interviews. I like the company and know that there is room for career advancement and its a place I could retire from so I REALLY want to get in.

Yeah, not my business unit. I enjoy working here. I keep thinking about leaving since I've been here a while, but can never really find anything better. Good luck to you. I hope  you get the job!

[gmillerdrake]

But, I am in the final stages of an interview with a rather large global medical company, STERIS, to where if I do get this position it’ll be a really nice career advancement. I’ve interviewed well thus far and the manager likes me for the position. I have two more people to speak with and then he believes they’d be ready to offer me the spot.

Which location are you interviewing at? I work for STERIS. Doubtful it's in my business unit or would know anyone you're interviewing with, but I'd be happy to put in a good word for you if I did.

It’s a remote position based out of Columbia MO.....but I live in St. Louis. It’s the ‘Installation Project Manager’ position. Basically overseeing and coordinating all the installs of the equipment ordered for whatever project....you know the large Sterilizers, OR lights, video integration etc etc.

I buy that stuff from STERIS now and is how I know about the position and company. One of the regional managers, Brian Chier, is a buddy of mine and “we’ve” been trying to get me in the company for a few years now. I interviewed with Phil Avila.... he’d be my manager. I have an interview to do with his boss (who I don’t know his name) and an interview with recruiting to go over some “what if” scenario’s.

Phil told me he likes me for the spot....that I’d just have to do good with these other two interviews. I like the company and know that there is room for career advancement and its a place I could retire from so I REALLY want to get in.

Yeah, not my business unit. I enjoy working here. I keep thinking about leaving since I've been here a while, but can never really find anything better. Good luck to you. I hope  you get the job!

 

[The Walrus]

Personally, and I'm going to be a bit selfish here... I'm doing fantastic. Throughout the pandemic I took a trip to the ER, which sucked, but it helped me reshape my life in some pretty awesome ways over the last 2.5 months. I also got a raise and just bought myself a powerhouse new computer for gaming/making music. My credit is great, I have no major debt (small bank loan and a small credit card balance, that's it), I can pay all my bills except rent with a single paycheck now, so obtaining the new instruments I want will be very easy. The pandemic is not really impacting my life in any way out here in rural America, in fact our business has only gotten busier and busier with each week. It's crazy and I'm extremely lucky that things are going well right now, knock on wood, and I hope everybody else has some well deserved happiness coming their way if it hasn't already.

[Dublagent66]

^Glad to see you're doing good Walrus and my best wishes for all others.

Even though I'm pissed off at everything going on right now, there's a constant reminder that I am extremely lucky to be where I am through this entire crisis.  I'm working from home.  Following the necessary guidelines of distancing and wearing a mask.  Paying the bills.  Just refinanced the house at 3%.  Continuing to save and invest for early retirement goal of age 60 (6 years).  So far, so good and continuing to count blessings and be grateful for what I have. 

[Anguyen92]

Well.  I'm having an all right time.  Working at home.  Spending more time with family.  Been playing a lot of WoW as usual.  Still able to get the food I want.  Of course, there's always moments in my head that thinks, "What's my next step in life?  Where do I want to be in a few years time?" That kind of stuff and I always draw a blank.

[Cool Chris]

Without discussing Covid, which was affected my life and family much less than many, I am well.

My biggest realization as of late is how much my happiness is tied to that of my wife and kids. I have very little outside of them that brings me joy. My biggest enjoyment comes from spending time with them. I could sit on my front porch and watch them play with the neighbor kids for hours. Most of what we do as a family is dictated by my wife. I find many of those activities fun, but some I do not care for at all. But I do the family thing for the good of us all, and they are all having fun, I am a happy man. It's just when I think about myself as an individual and not as a husband or a father that I feel my life is rather empty.

[lordxizor]

Without discussing Covid, which was affected my life and family much less than many, I am well.

My biggest realization as of late is how much my happiness is tied to that of my wife and kids. I have very little outside of them that brings me joy. My biggest enjoyment comes from spending time with them. I could sit on my front porch and watch them play with the neighbor kids for hours. Most of what we do as a family is dictated by my wife. I find many of those activities fun, but some I do not care for at all. But I do the family thing for the good of us all, and they are all having fun, I am a happy man. It's just when I think about myself as an individual and not as a husband or a father that I feel my life is rather empty.

I'm with you there. I realized about 6 months ago that I let my wife dictate my happiness far too much. My kids to an extent too, but not as much. It was so easy in the early years of our relationship to see her as the source of my happiness because of how awesome she was and how great we were together. A decade and a half later and with three, soon to be four, kids between us, I realized I was unhappy a lot of the time because she wasn't being the wife I wanted her to be for me. She has a million other priorities than me at times and I felt often left behind and unimportant when she didn't put me first. I've been better at being understanding of her recently and not taking it so personally, but it's hard. I know I can't depend on her to keep me happy all the time and need to find happiness on my own too, but I feel like I've almost forgotten how to do that. My overall happiness has been tied to my feelings for her for so long. She's still great and when we focus on each other marriage is awesome. There's just not as much time for that as I'd like.

[Bolsters]

Lately I have close to zero motivation to do anything so I just do...nothing. Read bullshit on Reddit, browse Youtube, watch people on Twitch, occasionally play a video game.

I barely listen to music as I'm not actively looking for anything new. I have tons of movies and shows to start or catch up on, but I can't be bothered to sit and watch any of them. I have been gaming a little but but have a huge backlog and could be doing a game a week or better given the length of some of them, but certainly not at my current pace. I was going to join a new roulette here but decided not to because going through my music collection to find things to send just feels like too much effort. Lastly, I've got a few reoccurring health problems that I am hoping do not get worse just yet because hospital visits are not something I want to deal with during a pandemic.

I guess mostly I'm just bored?

[hunnus2000]

Well for me - everyday is groundhog day. Been working from home since March which I love but I am missing interaction with people. It's too bad because we were starting to make new friends after having moved to Mid-Missouri a couple of years ago when the covid hit which put the brakes on everything. Finances are in good shape so no worries there.

I work for the State and the CIO sent an email last Friday declaring that remote work is here to stay which got my horns up! 

GMillerdrake - pay attention.
By expanding WFH the State can expand its recruiting "net" and not just focus on Jeff City and Columbia. Literally, every city in MO. is at play.

[cramx3]

Lately I have close to zero motivation to do anything

This is me.  With the whole stay at home thing going on, I've lost motivation for almost everything.  I work from home 3 days a week and those days are very boring and unfulfilling.  There's absolutely nothing going on for fun.  My entire summer plans on concerts and vacations all cancelled.  I haven't seen my parents since Christmas because I can't go to Florida.  All my friends have kids and are pretty much locked up with their families so I haven't seen any of my friends. I've been dating a girl for awhile now, but I don't find our relationship to be something that's giving me any good feelings about being something that will last.  I kind of feel like I'm just in a holding pattern that has no end in sight.

[Cool Chris]

Without discussing Covid, which was affected my life and family much less than many, I am well.

My biggest realization as of late is how much my happiness is tied to that of my wife and kids. I have very little outside of them that brings me joy. My biggest enjoyment comes from spending time with them. I could sit on my front porch and watch them play with the neighbor kids for hours. Most of what we do as a family is dictated by my wife. I find many of those activities fun, but some I do not care for at all. But I do the family thing for the good of us all, and they are all having fun, I am a happy man. It's just when I think about myself as an individual and not as a husband or a father that I feel my life is rather empty.

I'm with you there. I realized about 6 months ago that I let my wife dictate my happiness far too much. My kids to an extent too, but not as much. It was so easy in the early years of our relationship to see her as the source of my happiness because of how awesome she was and how great we were together. A decade and a half later and with three, soon to be four, kids between us, I realized I was unhappy a lot of the time because she wasn't being the wife I wanted her to be for me. She has a million other priorities than me at times and I felt often left behind and unimportant when she didn't put me first. I've been better at being understanding of her recently and not taking it so personally, but it's hard. I know I can't depend on her to keep me happy all the time and need to find happiness on my own too, but I feel like I've almost forgotten how to do that. My overall happiness has been tied to my feelings for her for so long. She's still great and when we focus on each other marriage is awesome. There's just not as much time for that as I'd like.

That isn't exactly what I meant for myself. That actually sounds worse  I meant that I seemed to be devoting more energy to ensure she was happy than I was to ensure I was happy. But that is largely because finding happiness has been a struggle since I became an adult. And the things I used to find enjoyment in, going out and partying, drinking, meeting women, I can't do any longer. So while my family filled the void somewhat, it was filled in a completely different manner. And I don't mean to imply I am the only married person to go through this. But usually when people get married they still hold on to some of their individuality and what they enjoy outside their married/parental life. I lost whatever that was, selfish and destructive as it may have been.

[lordxizor]

Without discussing Covid, which was affected my life and family much less than many, I am well.

My biggest realization as of late is how much my happiness is tied to that of my wife and kids. I have very little outside of them that brings me joy. My biggest enjoyment comes from spending time with them. I could sit on my front porch and watch them play with the neighbor kids for hours. Most of what we do as a family is dictated by my wife. I find many of those activities fun, but some I do not care for at all. But I do the family thing for the good of us all, and they are all having fun, I am a happy man. It's just when I think about myself as an individual and not as a husband or a father that I feel my life is rather empty.

I'm with you there. I realized about 6 months ago that I let my wife dictate my happiness far too much. My kids to an extent too, but not as much. It was so easy in the early years of our relationship to see her as the source of my happiness because of how awesome she was and how great we were together. A decade and a half later and with three, soon to be four, kids between us, I realized I was unhappy a lot of the time because she wasn't being the wife I wanted her to be for me. She has a million other priorities than me at times and I felt often left behind and unimportant when she didn't put me first. I've been better at being understanding of her recently and not taking it so personally, but it's hard. I know I can't depend on her to keep me happy all the time and need to find happiness on my own too, but I feel like I've almost forgotten how to do that. My overall happiness has been tied to my feelings for her for so long. She's still great and when we focus on each other marriage is awesome. There's just not as much time for that as I'd like.

That isn't exactly what I meant for myself. That actually sounds worse  I meant that I seemed to be devoting more energy to ensure she was happy than I was to ensure I was happy. But that is largely because finding happiness has been a struggle since I became an adult. And the things I used to find enjoyment in, going out and partying, drinking, meeting women, I can't do any longer. So while my family filled the void somewhat, it was filled in a completely different manner. And I don't mean to imply I am the only married person to go through this. But usually when people get married they still hold on to some of their individuality and what they enjoy outside their married/parental life. I lost whatever that was, selfish and destructive as it may have been.

Yeah, I think I feel a lot of similar stuff as you, plus some additional stuff apparently

I think my biggest problem is that I'm a chronic overthinker, so I read into stuff far too much. I've been working on trying to take control of my thoughts and prevent them from being as negative as they can be at times. And trying not to take everything so personally, especially when it comes to my wife. I'm getting way better than I was, but it's still a struggle.

[frogprog]

I have been furloughed since March 12th with zero contact from work except contact I initiated. My last attempt went unanswered...which is very frustrating. I was one of two people laid off, everyone else is still working. Obviously I am not a priority to bring back. It hurts that after 8 years they don't even have the decency to check up on me or even return calls. At 53 I really don't want to start over somewhere else but it looks like that's gonna have to happen. I have no idea what I will do for employment so that is very unnerving. My wife's school district (she is a teacher) just announced they will be all virtual at least*** until November. There seems to be no end to this isolation for us. I'm becoming very disconnected from who I was as a working man.

[Stadler]

Without discussing Covid, which was affected my life and family much less than many, I am well.

My biggest realization as of late is how much my happiness is tied to that of my wife and kids. I have very little outside of them that brings me joy. My biggest enjoyment comes from spending time with them. I could sit on my front porch and watch them play with the neighbor kids for hours. Most of what we do as a family is dictated by my wife. I find many of those activities fun, but some I do not care for at all. But I do the family thing for the good of us all, and they are all having fun, I am a happy man. It's just when I think about myself as an individual and not as a husband or a father that I feel my life is rather empty.

I'm with you there. I realized about 6 months ago that I let my wife dictate my happiness far too much. My kids to an extent too, but not as much. It was so easy in the early years of our relationship to see her as the source of my happiness because of how awesome she was and how great we were together. A decade and a half later and with three, soon to be four, kids between us, I realized I was unhappy a lot of the time because she wasn't being the wife I wanted her to be for me. She has a million other priorities than me at times and I felt often left behind and unimportant when she didn't put me first. I've been better at being understanding of her recently and not taking it so personally, but it's hard. I know I can't depend on her to keep me happy all the time and need to find happiness on my own too, but I feel like I've almost forgotten how to do that. My overall happiness has been tied to my feelings for her for so long. She's still great and when we focus on each other marriage is awesome. There's just not as much time for that as I'd like.

That isn't exactly what I meant for myself. That actually sounds worse  I meant that I seemed to be devoting more energy to ensure she was happy than I was to ensure I was happy. But that is largely because finding happiness has been a struggle since I became an adult. And the things I used to find enjoyment in, going out and partying, drinking, meeting women, I can't do any longer. So while my family filled the void somewhat, it was filled in a completely different manner. And I don't mean to imply I am the only married person to go through this. But usually when people get married they still hold on to some of their individuality and what they enjoy outside their married/parental life. I lost whatever that was, selfish and destructive as it may have been.

Yeah, I think I feel a lot of similar stuff as you, plus some additional stuff apparently

I think my biggest problem is that I'm a chronic overthinker, so I read into stuff far too much. I've been working on trying to take control of my thoughts and prevent them from being as negative as they can be at times. And trying not to take everything so personally, especially when it comes to my wife. I'm getting way better than I was, but it's still a struggle.

Without going too far into it or stealing your thunder, let me just say that these are very real, very tangible feelings. 

[lordxizor]

Without going too far into it or stealing your thunder, let me just say that these are very real, very tangible feelings. 

It hasn't taken much effort to find that it's incredibly normal to feel the way that I do. That's been reassuring to a degree, but I still struggle with where to go. I know I need to let go of or relax some expectations that I had about marriage and sex and the things that have been bothering me. Part of it is needing to accept my wife for who she is today instead of comparing her to her 25 year old self and being disappointed. But she certainly needs to change as well, and honestly could probably use some therapy to deal some of her own issues. I don't want to cave and give up on everything I want, but I also acknowledge that the only thing I have direct power over is myself and my own feelings. So that's what I'm primarily working on now.

[Herrick]

I had The Plague in April but it wasn't serious. I used all 7 sick days for the year but I have a fuckton of sick time stored up and The Company gave me two weeks off full pay. Plus I have another 7 personal days.

I'm very lucky that I work in a position that is considered essential even though international air traffic is waaaaaay down. Others in The Company have been furloughed or took pay cuts. I only have to go into work 3 out of 5 days but that will change since people are taking more days off during the summer.

There's been no overtime since the first or second week of April. I usually work a moderate amount of OT. I did not receive a stimulus check but luckily, I did not really need it. The Gubment sent me a letter telling me my check (or card) was sent but since I didn't use it, I had to call a number to get another one sent. So I did that.

[mike099]

Working from home thru the end of August and then hopefully our state government, my employer,  will decide to let us work from home at least 3 days a week.  Tennessee is funded primarily with sales tax and no state income tax, so buyouts are coming. I have 30 plus years so will see if they offer to my job classification of accountant.

Family is fine with the normal drama that comes with our kids, their spouses and in- laws.

Looking forward to some more concerts in the future.

[TempusVox]

Unless I'm asked to speak somewhere, or am on a book tour, I always "work from home"; or if I'm honest, wherever I can find Wi-Fi. Although, I do my best writing in my studio. So, from that standpoint, the pandemic had much less effect on me.

But I find myself getting more and more depressed lately. I think the political climate has played into this. Coupled with the racial tensions that no one in power seems interested in "fixing" or repairing, whatever that looks like; Neil's passing back in January, which really hit me much harder than I expected; I know three people who've succumbed to Covid now. So far, none of my family, extended or otherwise, has had it. But I'm the pater familias/protector (i.e. worrier) in the family, so I worry about them all; and the isolation from other family, friends, and normal routines- it's all lately, been a bit much.

 I recently shared with my wife that I felt like I had PTSD or something. I keep waiting for the time when things can go back to normal, and I find my patience is wearing thin most days. I feel as if I'm in some weird state of suspended animation, or I'm walking in slow motion. Or like we're all just pretending we're all not just...totally fucked.

I find myself being able to write now less and less. My work life has now become my prison of sorts. It's like what I imagine house arrest to be like.

When not trying to earn a living, we are constantly traveling and on the go. When...if... things ever go back to normal, I will never take that for granted again.

I dunno...I miss my friends. I miss entertaining. I miss traveling, concerts, sporting events, dining out. I miss enjoying life as we knew it.

I am trying to stay busy. We have an enormous garden this year, that I "tend" every morning. Geddy and I have been hosting a virtual happy hour each week for some of our friends; and that's been fun. I'm also working on a video podcast concept with a couple of other friends. We'll see how that shakes out.

I'll get through this. I have had a couple of minor episodes of depression in the past; and when they've occurred I have come out of them with an enormous burst of creativity, once the fog cleared away. I feel that's starting to happen again now.

That's, "How I'm doing" today. Of course it's been raining all day, so I'm also feeling a bit reflective and melancholic for that reason as well. 

Gary, best of luck on the job search. It sounds like this is a role you really covet. I hope it comes through for you.

[ReaperKK]

Honestly, and I don't want to jinx myself, but this is the happiest I've probably been in my life. I get to work from home (and I'm super thankful I do) and I am far more productive than I was in the office, I just had my mid-year review and it was fantastic. I get to spend a lot more time with my wife and pets and because I'm at home I'm practice more guitar than ever before on average of 3 hours a day. I'm eating healthier and spending less money.

What's crazy is that so much of this happiness was tied to work. I didn't realize how much of a emotional drain going into the office was and how I'd cope with getting fast food or just being an unmotivated slob when I get home.

There are some downsides. I was really looking forward to seeing the concerts I had booked this year, I haven't seen my family since last year because much like cram they are in Florida, and my mom is high risk due to some health issues.

[FlyingBIZKIT]

I intended to reply earlier but it sounds people are all over the place right now. Glad to hear about those of you who are doing well, and those who are struggling, I appreciate your vulnerability and being able to share that in this thread.

I'm doing well, but also having a few realizations.

I finally feel like an adult as I recently started my career as a couples therapist in Knoxville. Very exciting work thus far and I'm grateful for the opportunity. My fianceé also just got accepted into her graduate program so we are ecstatic. Though I'm also realizing this is the first time I've been in a situation where it will be difficult making some friendships. College and grad school always made that really easy, but now it's going to be more difficult, especially with coronavirus. I've always found myself to be introverted but I really love human connection and need it.