Hi all.
I just got accepted to this website after I did a lot of digging. I am Violent Green (some may know him as his real name, Mark)'s son. Recently it was his 12 year anniversary of death, so I took it upon myself to do some research. Mom always talked about how he went by Violent Green on music forums so I decided to do some googling, which brought me to a RateYourMusic thread full of peaceful wishes to RIP. I saw a post saying that he was most on this website, so I decided to request to be on it, because I have a question.
Did anyone reading this interact with dad while he was on this website? What was he like?
I was four when he died. I'm 16 now. I'd love to hear your stories.
Feel free to also ask me anything, I'd be happy to answer your questions 
Mark was my best friend for a couple/few years, starting in 2004 until maybe a year/8 months before his death. We had a falling out, but reconnected maybe three weeks before he died. I have a daughter who is maybe a few months older than you, which was something we discussed a lot - I talked about her, he talked about you. He and I were inseparable from the day he got back to school after leaving Digby, where he stayed with his parents, your grandparents, while he recovered from mono.
He would text me good morning, good night, that he was going to work, had arrived at work, was going home, had arrived at home. We would simul-listen albums. He taught me almost everything about the music that has been my entire life the past 15 years. I went back to college and got a second AAS degree because of him - Liberal Arts with an emphasis in Philosophy of Religion. My daughter has known about your existence, E., for probably a decade. Her name also begins with E. I'm respecting your privacy here, but your middle name gives me joy and has since the day your father told me your full name. He was what I considered the love of my life up until the time he died, and I was absolutely devastated by that. It was a big part of my drifting away from these forums, despite also being a long-time contributer to the back-end workings here and at others with my other name, VFS.
I have an external hard drive with photos and screenshots, and maybe some other things saved. And you may somewhere have his Marbles CD by Marillion which I had signed for him by Steve Hogarth ("H") at the concert in 2004 that your dad convinced me to go to despite the fact I was in a bad marriage and was risking hell at home for me going away out of town alone to see a band that my husband despised...
I have so many memories and yet had pushed all of them back because it was just too painful to think about Mark all these years.
I have long thought this day might come, but somehow wasn't prepared for it. When I heard yesterday that you had appeared and posted, I made a drink. I don't drink these days aside from occasional weekends with loved ones, but I needed it to calm the freaking out I was doing inside over the fact I never really processed his death. We were going to finally meet in person after years of AOL messaging and webcam chats. It was to be at a King Crimson show in Philly, but he died before that day came. Knowing he wasn't going ot be there, I didn't go either. I couldn't be there. I couldn't be anywhere. I shut down completely for a long time.
I dont know what to say or to share just now. But I wanted to at least reach out and say yes, I have memories and stories and pictures. And so much love. Of your dad, for your dad, about your dad.
Oh how he loved you and fretted about decisions and events, and one of the most important conversations of my life was when he asked me for help because he wanted to get to spend time with you but knew that your mother loved you so deeply that she was unsure of whether that was a good plan. I suggested he go to the Red Cross and take an infant CPR course and anything else that a babysitter might take, and the idea of an academic solution brought him to actual tears. He called me a genius that day. He took that course, and soon he was having his visits with you. He took wecam photos of you two together and sent them to me. I have one still on my external hard drive. You both had the most pure joy on your faces, E.
https://i.imgur.com/NruKhnL.jpgI will get you everything I can, but please understand this is revisiting a part of my life that is so hard for me. And also know, I understand. My father died when I was four, too.
Best wishes, friend. Feel free to private message me, or to respond here. I never come here anymore, but I wasn't going to miss you for anything. But it's gonna take some time to process.
<3
Topic: Violent Green's son. (Read 10611 times)
