Bitch and whine about how COVID-19 is effing up your life

[JayOctavarium]

So I have a friend. Well, friends... they're married. Just had a second kid. Wife is out of work now, so half their income is gone. She applied for unemployment, and after a bit of fighting and confusion, discovered that someone has been claiming unemployment using her info, down in Los Angeles.

I haven't heard if she has resolved it or not yet, but I doubt it seeing as a few days ago I called the Unemployment office 350 times and wasn't able to get through.

[DragonAttack]

A few days before this thread started, I was going to go on a slight 'self pity' trip on the other thread.  Instead, I do occasional 'updates' for all of the plans my wife and I had for this year that were cancelled.  I'll probably do a very condensed version here in a few days.

I gain a lot of insight from here, especially regarding special needs kids.  So, we reached out to a few friends with this situation, and they accepted.  They'll bring their child over, and we give them some time to play outside with our dog.  We keep our distance (of course), but it was a way of reaching out, and does us all a world of good.  We've heard there is a positive carryover effect for their kids at home as well.

Personal:  as to my wife and I, our parents were in a way 'two generations' older than us.  Their teen years were spent in the Great Depression.  My old man would have been part of the November '45 invasion of Japan.  My folks marriage was certainly interrupted, but not nearly as much as Japanese Americans at that time, or of those who had to deal with the warfare and bombings in Europe.

The frugality of our parents certainly prepared us well for this time.  Always paid cash for a car, no mortgage, we pay our credit cards off every month, and managed to put a kid through college.  Perhaps this setback / pause we're going through will change the habits of some for the better. 

My wife and I have also been through our shares of hell before and after we met.  Most of that is an often forgotten memory or a tiny speck in our rearview mirrors.  Keep pushing and be patient.......we'll get through this.  The one big difference of what we're going through now (other than wearing a mask while seeing so many empty shelves and produce sections in the store today), is that the pictures are not in black and white. 

[ErHaO]

First the legitimate worries I had/have: I have a handicapped sister (she has a major chromosomal deletion, mentally like a very young child with significant autism, physically detoirating fast due to severe muscle dystrophy). Initially me and my parent were super worried about her mental state, because she has a history of significant automutilation when thing aren't okay. And we aren't allowed to visit her anymore. Thankfully she has been doing really well and has responded well to skyping instead of actual visits. Still, the worry of her contracting the illness is there, as she most definitely is at risk due to all her underlying health issues.



Now for the bitching: I'll admit the social isolation is getting to me. Perhaps a positive on the long run, but I realise how important seeing friends/family/colleagues in person is now that I don't do that. Some things I have been taking for granted. I work at a hospital (though now mostly at home), sometimes right next to our corona clinic, so I am not allowed to do anything else and will not go to other households or interact with my friends/family. So ever since early march, I have only seen strangers on the street (at work we are all solo, planned at different timeslots). It is weird. And our national regulations are extended until late may, so in the end that will be nearly three months of no real social interactions. Just prior to the crisis, I moved to another flat on the other side of town, so socially I don't know the people around me (yet).

I also feel kind of bad for doing so little for my money, but my function requires me to gather data prior to analysis and I am not allowed to do that outside of processes essential to patient care (and that constitutes only a very small part of my job). I also cannot do my voluntary work because that involves interacting with potential patients elsewhere (I am a First Aid teamlead for the Red Cross). So all in all I am stuck with myself. I even found myself calling with a colleague I usually don't even interact with for nearly two hours about some minor work-related process 

But objectively I am in a good spot (income, job security, health, no affected people close to me etc.), unlike so many others.

[TAC]

ErHaO I'll be thinking about your sister.

[ErHaO]

ErHaO I'll be thinking about your sister.

Thanks! Due to her illness there are unfortunately always worries, but this situation makes things more tense for sure.

[Harmony]

ErHaO I'll be thinking about your sister.

Ditto.  People like her are why I get so upset when politicians and others blabber on about how people at risk should just keep isolating while the rest of us do what we want.  It's like nobody stops to think about what this really means on a person level and how it impacts that person's family who are trying all they can to do what's best for them even without this damned disease.

Ok, my first official bitch.  So you know how the days are running together?  Well this morning as I'm sitting on the can taking my morning pee at 0645 and I hear the garbage truck and realize that holy fuck it's garbage day and now I've gone and missed it for the week.  Of course our can is full to the brim.   

I don't normally forget things like this.  I'm kicking myself hard today for this one.

[Stadler]

ErHaO I'll be thinking about your sister.

Ditto.  People like her are why I get so upset when politicians and others blabber on about how people at risk should just keep isolating while the rest of us do what we want.  It's like nobody stops to think about what this really means on a person level and how it impacts that person's family who are trying all they can to do what's best for them even without this damned disease.

Ok, my first official bitch.  So you know how the days are running together?  Well this morning as I'm sitting on the can taking my morning pee at 0645 and I hear the garbage truck and realize that holy fuck it's garbage day and now I've gone and missed it for the week.  Of course our can is full to the brim.   

I don't normally forget things like this.  I'm kicking myself hard today for this one.

There's some sort of cosmic ratio at play there; the more full your can is, the greater the odds of missing the pickup.  Our general pickup is weekly, with recycling every other week.   Couple weeks ago, I had a full recycle bin (couldn't close the lid) and another stack of boxes ready for the next go-round.   Sure enough, missed it. 

[Harmony]

the more full your can is, the greater the odds of missing the pickup.

Ain't that the truth!    

Thanks for the laugh.  And I'm glad it's not just me! 

[lordxizor]

I almost missed garbage pick-up this week too. Good thing I had to run into the office and noticed my neighbor's bin out before the truck came.

[Podaar]

the more full your can is, the greater the odds of missing the pickup.

Ain't that the truth!    

Thanks for the laugh.  And I'm glad it's not just me!

For a second, I thought I was in the lonely hearts thread. I had to double check the thread title...

[Harmony]

Update - the garbage collector came around again and picked it up!!  I'm so glad I left it out at the curb for awhile.

Thank god for that essential worker.   

[jingle.boy]

I have a reminder in my calendar for every Wednesday morning.  It's saved my bacon on a few occasions.

[King Postwhore]

I have a reminder in my calendar for every Wednesday morning.  It's saved my bacon on a few occasions.

I've got a naggy wife to remind me of that.

[jingle.boy]

I have a reminder in my calendar for every Wednesday morning.  It's saved my bacon on a few occasions.

I've got a naggy wife to remind me of that.

My wife can't nag when she's still in bed.

[Fiery Winds]

I really have no room to complain about any inconveniences as I already feel guilty that I'm not impacted anywhere near as much as others, such as those with kids, essential jobs, and more immediate struggles.

That said, my brother and his fiance are coming to grips with the real possibility their wedding in Disneyland could be in jeopardy. It's set for the end of September when we should be in some intermediate stage of re-opening, but how that will affect these plans is very much in the air.

[dparrott]

Well now I have something to bitch about.  After almost 23 years with the same company, I was laid off.    They say it's only temporary until business picks up, but who knows how long that will be.  I was the most expensive employee, being 3rd in command behind the owner and his wife, and I had high level health insurance because of my wife's medical conditions.  I was kind of looking to leave anyway, I'm really bored there, and my wife's parents are getting older and sicker, we want to be closer to them if I can get a new job in their area.  It's just kind of stunning, this job has been my rock with all that's gone on in my life, and now it's gone. 

[Orbert]

Bummer.

[ich bin besser]

Being a elementary school teacher here in Germany, I don't really have anything to bitch about...

I'm getting paid, though we are now finishing the sixth week without school. The kids are getting weekly tasks to do (not online, but on paper - which they submit and pick up new ones in front of the school every Monday).

On Monday, the 4th grade was supposed to go back to school, but that was cancelled by a court decision.
So I guess it's 2 more weeks of "home office", until a decision is final when all kids can come back to school.

I have a girlfriend about 4 hours with the car from my place - and I'm allowed to visit her.
I can go shopping (one has to wear face masks for that) and the stores have (almost) everything. 
I can go for walks. 
My dad - aged 81 - is fine (which is kinda surprising as he does not listen to most of the given advices).

[Cool Chris]

I'm getting paid, though we are now finishing the sixth week without school. The kids are getting weekly tasks to do (not online, but on paper - which they submit and pick up new ones in front of the school every Monday).

Is there a reason nothing is being done online? Is that a national thing, or a regional thing? I feel like most areas in the US are doing everything online. I am reasonably pleased with my 3rd graders learning. How is drop-off/pick-up handled? I would think it would be hard to accommodate every family as some are still working, have to rely on bus, or some issue.

I have a girlfriend about 4 hours with the car from my place - and I'm allowed to visit her.

I can't imagine a situation where I would not "be allowed" to visit someone. I know we are "directed" by our local governments to not make unnecessary trips/visit, but no one is pulling people over in theri cars verifying their destination is somewhere "essential."

[ich bin besser]

Is there a reason nothing is being done online? Is that a national thing, or a regional thing? I feel like most areas in the US are doing everything online. I am reasonably pleased with my 3rd graders learning. How is drop-off/pick-up handled? I would think it would be hard to accommodate every family as some are still working, have to rely on bus, or some issue.

Some parents - and our school... - don't have the software (and hardware) to do it. We are in the middle of nowhere, with 66 kids.
My kids come from 2 villages. First one is in the village where my school is, the second one 5 kilometers away. By now, picking up worked well. If it doesn't, the teacher still can deliver stuff - or call the parents.

[Cool Chris]

Our district let kids pick up their Chromebooks so they could have the hardware/software but I get that isn't going to work for all districts. Some won't even have Chromebooks to begin with.

In the early stages my wife dropped off materials for her students and got a light wrist slap for doing so by her principle. He is just watching out for his staff, he doesn't want them to face unnecessary risks. Right now the only way to get materials home to kids is via mail from the district offices. They don't even want teachers to call/text parents from their personal phone. Makes sense, my wife won't give out her cell number, she doesn't want calls at home from pissed off parents at 7am on a Saturday (or anytime for that matter).

[TAC]

Well now I have something to bitch about.  After almost 23 years with the same company, I was laid off.    They say it's only temporary until business picks up, but who knows how long that will be.  I was the most expensive employee, being 3rd in command behind the owner and his wife, and I had high level health insurance because of my wife's medical conditions.  I was kind of looking to leave anyway, I'm really bored there, and my wife's parents are getting older and sicker, we want to be closer to them if I can get a new job in their area.  It's just kind of stunning, this job has been my rock with all that's gone on in my life, and now it's gone.

I am really sorry to hear that, man.

[JayOctavarium]

So I was re-laid off on the 17th. Filed online to reopen my Unemployment claim that same day. for 9 days, when I'd check the website, status read "We've received your request to reopen your claim".

I checked 2x a day since, and no change.

Today I check the site, and there is nothing but the option to request to reopen my claim. So... the last 9 days have literally been erased?

The site has been overloaded for weeks, and was down for a few days for maintenance. Since they are accepting PUA (Pandemic Unemployment Assistance) per the CARES Act starting this week,  I am hoping they did some work to help streamline things and accept the load of traffic coming in to the website.

(For those who don't know, the PUA  helps those who don't normally qualify for State Unemployment, like those who are self employed or work in the Gig style jobs- like my other half).


But my Stim deposit is finally coming on the 30th, so at least I can pay rent

[Orbert]

Sorry to hear all that, Jay.  But at least you can pay rent.

[DragonAttack]

edited

[MirrorMask]

Bitching time because this is not a tragedy, but a major blow to my teenage years came right now.

I've discovered that an historical music shop in the center of Milan (and I literally mean it, it was in the underground subway premises below the cathedral, the absolute center of Milan by definition) is not gonna reopen after the quarantine. This is gonna sound abstract to you but I'm sure you're no stranger, especially those who are not teens now and have lived in a pre-internet world, to the pleasure of having a trusted shop, the place to go looking for new CDs, to buy tickets, to look on the handwritten panels the future releases, with the added bonus of people working in the shop being actual music fans and knowing what they were talking about.

I'll confess, I didn't go there anymore, my work route does not pass there and I am too guilty of using online shops to buy music, but knowing it was there, going there just for the sake of old times (last time I was there it was for a meet n' greet with the band Ghost, it was the Infestissumam era and so Tobias Forge was dressed as the bald man with tiny mustaches, the off-the-stage persona of Papa Emeritus II), was good.

Before the internet that store was for me, and for any metalhead of Milan, THE number one reference for underground music. It's sad to know it will be gone. I have local friends on FB sharing the news like someone had passed away.

This goes under the "Unimportant things, in the bigger picture, that were very important for those who cared" category. Next time I'll happen to pass by there and see something else in place of that music shop, it's gonna be a bad feeling.

[Orbert]

That's a bummer. There are places in my hometown that I still swing by when I can, and I'm happy to see that they're still there.  And there are places that aren't there anymore, or have been converted into something else, and it's sad, like losing an old friend.

[millahh]

So, my company is getting acquired, and the deal will close Friday (last regulatory hurdle was cleared this morning).  The acquiring company is treating everyone's role in the new company (and whether or not they have one at all) on a need to know basis.  We are expecting a bloodbath, but no one really knows for sure.  And even though most people know their fate now (in, out or TBD...I'm a TBD), there is very little knowledge of what has happened to others.  We're being kept completely in the dark. And because the offices/sites are closed, their is no collegial discussion, no water cooler, no handshakes, hugs or eye contact...and no real flow of information.  I've been through this rodeo a few times before, and there is always a collective grieving, and a processing of the drastic changes that are happening. I know this sounds melodramatic, but it sort of parallels death with no funeral...there is no collective processing, no reinforcement of bonds, no ritual.  It's just a dissolution...of our teams, our work relationships, of what we built over years and years.  There may eventually be some happy hours once things return to (somewhat) normal, but even that will be weird.  I even want to get laid off, but the whole thing is just sad. There is no closure.

[TAC]

Sounds shitty Mill.

Like you say, it's a time when peers need each other.

[Stadler]

So, my company is getting acquired, and the deal will close Friday (last regulatory hurdle was cleared this morning).  The acquiring company is treating everyone's role in the new company (and whether or not they have one at all) on a need to know basis.  We are expecting a bloodbath, but no one really knows for sure.  And even though most people know their fate now (in, out or TBD...I'm a TBD), there is very little knowledge of what has happened to others.  We're being kept completely in the dark. And because the offices/sites are closed, their is no collegial discussion, no water cooler, no handshakes, hugs or eye contact...and no real flow of information.  I've been through this rodeo a few times before, and there is always a collective grieving, and a processing of the drastic changes that are happening. I know this sounds melodramatic, but it sort of parallels death with no funeral...there is no collective processing, no reinforcement of bonds, no ritual.  It's just a dissolution...of our teams, our work relationships, of what we built over years and years.  There may eventually be some happy hours once things return to (somewhat) normal, but even that will be weird.  I even want to get laid off, but the whole thing is just sad. There is no closure.

I work out of the house, and have for years now, and the ONE THING that I miss is that unofficial channel of communication.  It's counter-intuitive.  The same people that no doubt are floating pictures of their junk all over the internet, somehow find discretion while at work.  I relish work functions, because I can pull people aside and talk, and I invariably come away with gallons of information.  In a situation like you're in, that information is crucial, because timing can be the difference.


Good luck, buddy, I hope it works out for you; acquisitions (we're in the early stages of acquiring a competitor now; this will be my fourth one not counting those that I just worked on) are stressful.

[MoraWintersoul]

I mentioned my mom was on chemo in February, when we all started worrying about the coronavirus, and that I was worried about catching a flight home to see her in the first place. Well, I did catch a flight to see her back in March because she'd been released from the hospital as there was nothing they could do for her anymore. She died a week later and I've been stuck in Serbia ever since.

That week was filled with just about every inconvenience you can imagine, because the hospital staff was busy with COVID and all we had to go by were anti-anxiety meds and painkillers from the store, for a person dying of cancer, and then there were all the general inconveniences of taking care of a bedridden and mostly non-verbal person. Watching her health decline every day was a mind trip, the doctors implied we had months and she was able to talk and have meaningful time with my brother and my sister up until the night I came. Add to that watching the news to stay informed, watching incompetent liars mishandle this health crisis in every possible way, while doctors are falling apart at the seams to the point where we have to beg on the phone for someone to take 15 minutes out of their day to try and come over and give her IV, so that she could try and live another day. I'm so full of anger, I can feel a firm ball of pure fire growing in my stomach every night when I try to go to sleep. I almost don't talk to friends online because they'll ask me how I've been. Frankly I'm not sure if I should even type it out here, even though the thread title says bitch and whine so everyone's been warned about the contents. Not receiving a hug from anyone I don't live with in months is a bitch. I hadn't seen my friends in so long before this, and seeing them twice (when the number of cases in my city had dropped to zero for three weeks straight) and not being able to come near them or touch them was very difficult. Seeing my BFF and not running into her arms for the first time ever after 15 years must have been the weirdest experience of my life.

Flights to possible transfer spots started running a few days ago but of course they may be shut down again in a week or two when I am able to catch one. I've been apart from my husband for almost four months (and our marriage wasn't a 10/10 before this whole business either), and when I come back I won't be able to see all the people I'm missing because we moved cities while I was stuck here. I'm supposed to start a business with my brother and my sister, doing a job I hate (but the only job I'm halfway qualified for), and I'm feeling the exact same lack of motivation and lowered productivity as everyone else is, not to mention that we're still not earning any money whatsoever, so not even that is a motivating factor. Looking for unqualified work/a part time job back in Norway is probably not a picnic now, either. Being in law-mandated self-isolation for 28 days brought out some strange effects, I had a couple of panic attacks going out when that whole business ended, but right now at least I feel mildly okay about that.

 I feel like I have absolutely zero things going for me, that there's no area in my life that I can point to and say "well, at least I have that one sorted". My mental health is in absolute shambles, I have almost no older family members left (down to one grandma that's also bedridden now), I have friends I can't see, I have a husband who's unequipped to live with someone whose entire personality is just two or three untreated mental illnesses stitched together, I have a temporary residence permit in a country I'm stranded away from, I don't have a career or any life plans or even a paid job right now, and the one hobby that manages to lift my spirits a little is dead until 2021, if it can even come back that soon, or at all. I could say I still have my health, but that can change in two seconds if one unmasked asshole decides to sneeze in my direction in the grocery store.

There, that's a novel. Fuck you, COVID-19. Also, fuck cancer.

[jingle.boy]

Oh geez, Milena.  That's heartbreaking.  All of it.  So sorry for you to have to struggle and endure thru all of that.

This pandemic is the fucking worst.

[Evermind]

I mentioned my mom was on chemo in February, when we all started worrying about the coronavirus, and that I was worried about catching a flight home to see her in the first place. Well, I did catch a flight to see her back in March because she'd been released from the hospital as there was nothing they could do for her anymore. She died a week later and I've been stuck in Serbia ever since.

The rest of your situation sucks but this, out of all things, is really awful. Cancer sucks big time. It's just such an awful way to go and it can happen to all of us and there's nothing to be done with it.

I hope things will get better for you. They probably won't, but I hope they will.

[JustJen]

ok so straight up, i didn't read hte thread. just being honest. those of you who know me wont' care, those of you who don't might.

so, stop caring. it's imperitive to the conversation. lol

how did it fuck with me today? well i work 8-5, 6 days a week, doing e-commerce fulfillment of grocery orders at my local walmart. i LOVE this job. But it's in NY, and we were hit very hard with covid. it's been a really tough situation to power through considering I have at least two autoimmune disorders, and am currently recovering from a surgical "excision biopsy" which obviously means they're looking for cancer (and it can't be a nice normal one - NOOOOOOOO - it has to most likely be Subcutaneous Panniculitis-like T-Cell Lymphoma, the rarest of the rare. The lump already grew back AND THE FUCKING INCISION ISN"T EVEN HEALED YET WTF IS THIS SHIT). And people wear their fucking masks with their nose hanging out.

I really don't need to say more. I won't debate this. People who get it, get it, and those who don't, I don't care to hear from, simple as that really.

I'm there fulfilling grocery orders for people sheltering in place at home and recovering from being ill, or who depend on our grocery delivery service, and a great number of entitled dickheads walk around our store, in an area where masks are REQUIRED in public via governor cuomo's executive order, as well as just being a store rule, with their nose hanging our or some with no mask at all. And obeying our one-way directional markers on the aisles? psh. they don't care. at all. no amount of explaining the reasoning for it helps. and i'm off the clock so won't be doing it here. because- again - people who get it, get it. those who think these rules are just government imposing restrictions on people for fun, who think they are ENTITLED to not have to follow rules- i don't want to hear from those people, or know them, and i hope they get fucking covid and die.

[lordxizor]

The one way aisles at stores are kind of a joke. Even the employees don't follow them at my local grocery store.