I read the original article, and I want to make one thing very clear.
I think that speaking out is a good thing...because it takes away the veil that creeps hide behind, which is “plausible deniability”. Once you actually speak up and say no, and educate and encourage others to speak up and say no if you find yourself in this situation, this veil of plausible deniability disappears.
That being said, by this girls own admission, she went along with it without protesting.....Yes, she did so out of fear. (Honestly, there are stories about JFK that play out exactly the same way....I mean, how do you say no to the POTUS???). But still, it creates a situation where it is IMPOSSIBLE to *prove* that you didn’t consent. I understand that fear can freeze you....but that’s why it is important that we teach everyone to SPEAK UP!! Because if you don’t, we honestly don’t have anything tangible to base the accusation on. I’m not even saying it wasn’t rape....I’m just saying that there is no reasonable universe in which we can PROVE it’s rape unless you speak up!!! If you speak up after the fact, it may help someone in the future....so please, don’t stop speaking up. Don’t think it does nothing just because you can never prove it. Because you can at least teach the next person to be on their guard so that maybe they will speak up. But without saying anything in the moment....you’ve got nothing. I’m not even saying it’s right....it”s just reality.
Perhaps for another thread, but I want to explore the "I didn't say no, and I did what I did out of fear" notion, but I wonder if you can have those two conditions, but not have it actually be a "consent" issue. Meaning, the "fear" thing tipped the balance of the "risk/reward" equation, but that was still a conscious decision. This comes up at work all the time in a non-sexual way. I might have to go to Dallas-Ft. Worth in two weeks. I don't want to go. I have personal things here that I have to attend to. But I fear that my position in the company might be compromised if I don't go.
Ever since "Head For Backstage Pass" on Jeff Beck's "Wired" album (what, 1976?), this has always been sort of common knowledge. Sammy Hagar made no beef about being the recipient of fellatio (I don't think he used that word) to epic proportions across the United States, and legend says Def Leppard had a special room under their "In The Round" stage to specifically accommodate that. Pam Des Barres and a couple others made an entire career out of being that girl. I get it, and I totally accept that a woman's body - or a man's - is their sole purview, unequivocally, but I shouldn't really be able to go to a strip bar and then formally complain about the "breasts" or the "loud music". I shouldn't be able to go to a race track and formally complain about the "smell of fuel everywhere".
I'm no fan of Maynard - I just don't get the notion that he's something special, like some Tool fans - but fair is fair.