Alright gang, results are in. We're doing this in couples, like a wrestling card. Why? I'm a goofy booker and for this roulette I'm more interested in cross trash talking than suspense. It's totally random, we add points and standings up at the end.
Let's begin pitting the Figure Four Lock versus the Sharpshooter, bleached hair versus Kerry King goggles:
TAC: Armored Saints – Up Yours 10.5
The most underrated heavy metal vocalist ever
Musical Value: 7.5 Solid balls-to-the-wall honest banger, on Reload's editor room floor at its worst, as main single from Countdown to Extinction at its best. Some Foo symptoms here and there, but a lot of groovy stops-and-go's and a pretty hung solo. Plus, nature vs nurture: what if Bruce Dickinson grew up as a Bronx street hustler oblivious to the sophistications of limey culture? You get John Bush.
Offensive Value: 3 I've been invited to make a bowling ball of my sweet arse countless times, but it's the first time I've been asked to “sit and rotate”.
jingle: Ayreon – Memories / Love 13
One more vocal line and my nose starts to bleed
Musical Value: 8 I've said this before, Ayreon is a rock music thief, BUT, when executed with such love, competence and passion, theft becomes an art. Mandolin strumming, vintage moogage, Big james, musical theater complexities. And ¾ meter; have I ever mentioned everything works better in ¾? I can't foppishly escape it anymore and I'm bound for a huge binge. I'm sold.
Offensive Value: 5 Chad? Sit and rotate. And change your Bret Hart into Jesse Ventura. You know why.
Coming up: Bulldog vs Camel
Topic: RouletteMania! v. Do It, Gregg! (Read 141421 times)
