Men are from Mars, Women I have no f*$%ing idea

[FreezingPoint]

On principle, I don't like the idea of not requiring kids to do something because they are afraid to do it, or because they find it difficult. That doesn't seem like a good way to prepare kids for life. And I say that as someone who would have benefited from never speaking in front of the class. In retrospect, I wish I was made to do more of it, I might be more comfortable now in certain situations. We can't function as a society if we can only communicate with others via Instagram.

I agree with this completely. As a kid, and throughout almost all my schooling, I absolutely hated and dreaded speaking in front of the class. But sometime in college I got enough exposure to it where I could make my way through, and gained a bit of confidence.

Fast forward to now. I still don't enjoy doing it. Rather, I look at it as a challenge, something I'm going to beat. I got asked to speak at our quarterly company meeting a few months back and gave what I thought was a pretty standard and boring presentation. I guess I made a good impression because apparently in my company, I'm some sort of public speaking wizard now. Of course, no one knows what I was like as a kid, and how I still don't like that sort of thing, but I wasn't going to tell them that. Before COVID wrecked my company, I improved my standing and prospects there quite a bit because of that speech. Go figure, sometimes those lessons do apply in real life.


Still would rather email or do something online though. I don't mind using the phone, but it better be necessary and brief. When I call someone it usually means they haven't responded to previous methods and you'd better have the answer for me. But don't call me (work people - not friends) because you have no one to talk to and want to bore me to death for 30 minutes about your life. You're not my friend and I don't care.

[Stadler]

I find it amusing that the trend these days is to watch a video on something rather than read about it. But to write your communication with friends rather than speak live. Seems like those trends move in the complete opposite direction.

The common denominator is separation, though.  There's still a screen interrupting - or, maybe, intercepting - the conversation.

I've read articles where people have posited that requiring students to engage in public speaking activities/lessons was unfair to those who have anxiety.

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2018/09/teens-think-they-shouldnt-have-to-speak-in-front-of-the-class/570061/

On principle, I don't like the idea of not requiring kids to do something because they are afraid to do it, or because they find it difficult. That doesn't seem like a good way to prepare kids for life. And I say that as someone who would have benefited from never speaking in front of the class. In retrospect, I wish I was made to do more of it, I might be more comfortable now in certain situations. We can't function as a society if we can only communicate with others via Instagram.

I agree with the concept, I don't like the wording.  "Unfair".  In one sense, who gives a shit what's "unfair"?  How do we even decide what's "unfair" to begin with?   Having said that, knowledge is power, and if we can take that into account, and work with it - work with that child the same way we work with kids on math, or dancing, or hitting a baseball, maybe we can make their life better.   

I know for me, I have three kids (I'm excluding the oldest; he didn't get this gene for some reason) that decide they don't like something after the first non-perfect try (except, it seems, for the younger kid and video games, go figure).  So the challenge with things like public speaking was removing the concept of "fairness" and moving to the concept of "honing skills".  It's a work in progress, but the oldest (step daughter) is now out on her own, divorced, and realizing that "adult" actually DOESN'T mean "doing whatever you want", but in fact DOES mean (as her step dad once told her) that it means "doing what you HAVE to do when you have to do it", including public speaking (she's now a very successful hair stylist).  The middle daughter is in college and is realizing that practice does move you to perfect, and now she's grappling with the risk-reward of "what does it take to be great?".   The youngest (stepson) is on level 47 of Fortnite. 

[Lethean]

Some are "blaming" this anxiety of talking on the phone or public speaking on technology, and I really don't see that as the case.  I didn't have a smartphone or tablet as a kid and my dislike of those things didn't start with the smartphone.  It seems to just be a pretty common thing that some humans dislike.  Maybe technology now makes it easier for us to avoid it, but I think it's always been there.

But, I do mostly agree that we all have to do things we just like sometimes. That's just the way it is.  But I think while we shouldn't allow kids to skip all public speaking, for example, maybe we should do more than just tell them to suck it up and do it. I certainly never got more comfortable with it, and I had to do it plenty of times in school. And now as an adult, does it affect my life that I don't like it and I'm not good at it? No, it really doesn't.  We can't all be good at everything.

[Northern Lion]

This is a tough one for sure.  I have told my kids for years that they "can do hard things".  I tell them that everytime they tell me something is hard.  And I try very hard to live that principle as well so I can be a good example to them.

And there's the idea of us creating a society full of snowflakes if we don't allow our kids ot get bumped around every once in a while.  Grit, is a learned life skill for most people I think.

But anxiety is a real thing and can be very devistating, even to the point of someone taking their own life over it.  So that can't be taken lightly either.  But how much of the anxiety in our society is being created because (collectively) we are too soft on our children, and how much of it is genuine mental illness?  That I don't know.

But, from my vantage point, it appears that western society is heading in the wrong direction in this regard.

[Harmony]

And there's the idea of us creating a society full of snowflakes if we don't allow our kids ot get bumped around every once in a while.  Grit, is a learned life skill for most people I think.

I've been thinking along these lines a fair amount lately.  Our grandparents or great-grandparents living through wars, the depression, all sorts of hardships.  Grit is a good word for how I see my grandparents.  But it wasn't without a cost.  They were certainly more self-sufficient and learned how to get by with what they had AND be appreciative of that.  But they also held people at arms length and weren't very demonstrative.  They also had their bouts with alcoholism and nicotine addition.

How is this covid experience going to change this upcoming generation?  For the better?  For the worse?

Oh - and are we going to call 2019 and before BC?   

[TAC]

But, from my vantage point, it appears that western society is heading in the wrong direction in this regard.

Every generation has said this about the following one. We work to make the next generation's life easier, but then we complain they have it too easy. Well, wasn't that the point? (Not a question for you, Lion. It's rhetorical)

We had a thread on this subject in P/R last summer.

[Lethean]

I think that's a great perspective, TAC.

[Indiscipline]

I've been struggling a lot with the "thicken your skin, kid" vs "I'll open the path of least resistance for you" approaches since I suddenly became a step-father. Then I gave up on big educational convictions and focused on one single crucial aspect: it doesn't matter if the kid has it hard or easy, the important thing is she is never allowed to be blocked by fear of mistakes. Mistakes are gold.

 

[Podaar]

Amen!

[Northern Lion]

But, from my vantage point, it appears that western society is heading in the wrong direction in this regard.

Every generation has said this about the following one. We work to make the next generation's life easier, but then we complain they have it too easy. Well, wasn't that the point? (Not a question for you, Lion. It's rhetorical)

We had a thread on this subject in P/R last summer.

You're absolutely right, it's kind of our own fault things have turned out this way.

I've been struggling a lot with the "thicken your skin, kid" vs "I'll open the path of least resistance for you" approaches since I suddenly became a step-father. Then I gave up on big educational convictions and focused on one single crucial aspect: it doesn't matter if the kid has it hard or easy, the important thing is she is never allowed to be blocked by fear of mistakes. Mistakes are gold.

 

100%!

And there's the idea of us creating a society full of snowflakes if we don't allow our kids ot get bumped around every once in a while.  Grit, is a learned life skill for most people I think.

I've been thinking along these lines a fair amount lately.  Our grandparents or great-grandparents living through wars, the depression, all sorts of hardships.  Grit is a good word for how I see my grandparents.  But it wasn't without a cost.  They were certainly more self-sufficient and learned how to get by with what they had AND be appreciative of that.  But they also held people at arms length and weren't very demonstrative.  They also had their bouts with alcoholism and nicotine addition.

How is this covid experience going to change this upcoming generation?  For the better?  For the worse?

Oh - and are we going to call 2019 and before BC?   

I see what you did there  .  Who knows, maybe.  It's a pretty dramatic event.

[ProfessorPeart]

In the spirit of the thread's name, my wife did something today that reminded me it would fit right in. She does it all the time. I've never called her out on it, I just answer her.

She's in the dining room. I'm in the living room.

Wife (yelling across the house): What date is it? Is it the 8th? (Note: she has both an iPad and her cell phone in front of her)

Me: Yes, it's the 8th.

This happens all the time.

[Stadler]

And there's the idea of us creating a society full of snowflakes if we don't allow our kids ot get bumped around every once in a while.  Grit, is a learned life skill for most people I think.

I've been thinking along these lines a fair amount lately.  Our grandparents or great-grandparents living through wars, the depression, all sorts of hardships.  Grit is a good word for how I see my grandparents.  But it wasn't without a cost.  They were certainly more self-sufficient and learned how to get by with what they had AND be appreciative of that.  But they also held people at arms length and weren't very demonstrative.  They also had their bouts with alcoholism and nicotine addition.

How is this covid experience going to change this upcoming generation?  For the better?  For the worse?

Oh - and are we going to call 2019 and before BC?   

I'm sure you know this, but for others that might not, "grit" is now a recognized thing.  I think there's some truth in that. 

[TAC]

Watching this video made me think of this thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE4RbNw4kbU

[King Postwhore]

Watching this video made me think of this thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE4RbNw4kbU

Mingya.

[Stadler]

Holy mackerel.  I was able to mouth the words in real time as they were saying them. 

[Cool Chris]

Those sunglasses are a bit ridiculous.

I've been to parties recently with candy-filled pinatas. One of them actually had toys in with the candy, and among the toys were tiny water guns. The kid in me who grew up playing with water guns thought "awesome!" The person in me living in the progressive PNW thought "OMG why are we teaching our kids it is ok to play with guns?!"

[Harmony]

Just to change it up, I'm usually the one waiting to leave at our house.  LoL

I'm curious though (and I know they are just bantering together for the camera) if he's in such a hurry, why is he sitting their talking about pinatas and not driving already?   

[jingle.boy]

jingle.kids and I used to "bet" on an over/under as to how long we'd have to wait in the car for mrs.jingle when leaving - either our house, or from a friends/family gathering.  I'd say 7-8 minutes was the average.