FACIAL HAIR. What is it? How? Why? Tonight, We Find Out. AKA VLAST0O0O0O!

[TioJorge]

Just kidding. We don't find out. That shit is weird, man. Facial hair... So... Okay wait, before I start this, all of this shit is true. 100% true. Every word. Not like a sarcastic "Oh haha this is a true story but not really". No, this fucked up shit happened, but at the same time it's...totally understandable (not really...but maybe?). One of my girlfriend's friends just ended her 5 year relationship because during those 5 years, her boyfriend had a beard, but then he shaved it. A real man's man beard. One of those hipster-big beards, except a real one that was grown before hipster was a term. I still just call it a mountain man beard. He shaved it all off one day and she hated the way his "real" face looked so much that she ended their relationship. Now, I've met this girl and hung out with her more than a couple handful of times, we've gotten tipsy together, we've shared some personal stories. This chick, as far as I can tell, is not super shallow, not a fly-off-the-handle kind of gal, she's not secretly a dominatrix. Nothing weird about her, a cool chick who probably does anal once a year and calls that "freaky". Don't look at me like that, you know what I'm talking about. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of her friends and my girlfriend included are like "Oh yeah, I get it, she hasn't seen him without a beard and hated his face, cool".

WHAT!?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?

So I get the sentiment. Some people look like pedo-bears with beards or with just a mustache (I think men looking good with just a mustache is like 1 in 10,000). Some guys look like five year old man children who will murder you in your sleep without a beard, but with one they look like big teddy bears that'll just love you forever and keep you warm. Beards are weird as fuck.

All this is to say, is this a real thing? To the four women (I honestly don't know if we still have any gay men here but y'all my bois too) who are still active on this forum, would this be a thing for you? Maybe not 5 years, but let's say you're digging a dude for a few months and he's hot as hell and then he shaves and all of a sudden he's Mister Rogers. Unless you have a Mister Rogers fetish, are you still digging him and maybe just like "Hey...maybe....grow that beard back" or are you out cause that's his "real" face?

Also, while we're on the topic of beards, No Shave November is coming up! I've had a fairly thick beard for a while but I might go full on Jumanji with it and let that shit go wild. My GM might not like it but I'd love to sue him for beard discrimination. It's a thing. This is 2019, people.

I had coffee for the first time in about two years today. I feel weird. Have a good day, DTF.

VLASTO! 

[JayOctavarium]

I shaved my goatee last week.

My girlfriend was happy.

I am growing it back (or maybe a full beard? Hmmmm?)

And my girlfriend is sad.





Women...

[Herrick]

Well, I cannot answer your question as I'm not into dudes. But I will say that girl must've dumped that guy for another reason(s) and used the shaving as an excuse. Think about it. Who would dump someone after 5 years over an easily-reversable cosmetic-decision?

[TioJorge]

Oh shit, yeah I missed a prime story point. He's done with beards, apparently. Like shaved it for good, kept on shaving, and doesn't want to grow it back. But I mean still, that's his right, right? It's...just a beard. Which, like you said, even if she was that insistent, could be grown back. But he didn't want to. It's like beard rape or something.

Good girlfriend, Jay. Mine is the opposite and most people agree: I have a baby face without a beard and a few people like it but most say I look manlier and better with one. Lucky for me, I like having a beard because I have ginger blood in me (and a bit in my beard) and pasty-ass-white-skin that gets razor burn suuuuuper easy. So yay for me in that regard. Aesthetically, I think I look more button-down without one. I guess that's kinda boring though?

[Stadler]

Would you break up with a girl who has flowing blond locks if she shaved her head bald and said "this is my reality, deal with it"?   

I suppose it depends where I am in the relationship, but while there are a couple things with my wife that I'm not keen on, I don't see myself ending the relationship (perhaps having a conversation about it, though).  Maybe, though as the bald look isn't my thing.  I don't know. 

I tend to think there's more though; HOW he did it is a factor.  Has she never seen pictures of him without the beard?  He was born that way?   

[The Walrus]

love this thread

I have a big ol' beard that I don't even trim regularly and I still get compliments on it. If I shaved I'd look 10 years younger but I also have a weak chin so the beard helps me look more like A Real Dude than without. although leaving some stubble is where I probably look 100% best. I just hate shaving and buying shaving supplies so I just grow mine out. I let it grow for almost 3 years before trimming it way down, and instantly regretted it, and I've been letting it grow for over a year again as of last month

All the girls I've been with have dug beards so I have zero reason to get rid of it. My condolences to the brutally murdered beard and the hairless cold chin that no longer has a lady

[The Walrus]

Would you break up with a girl who has flowing blond locks if she shaved her head bald and said "this is my reality, deal with it"? 

I loved a girl to death many years ago and towards the end of the relationship she cut it super short, like G.I. Jane, and I'm not gonna lie, it really had an affect on my level of physical attraction for her. I don't think that's terribly shallow as I still loved her for plenty of other reasons and I wasn't about to end the relationship but that super short buzzcut stuff on women just really doesn't work for me. It was pretty symbolic too actually as she was getting hardcore into other things that didn't jibe with me so well

[TioJorge]

God fucking damn it, Stadler. Always with the fantastic questions and answers. ALWAYS.

I might actually end it if my girlfriend did that. I mean..there's an off chance she'd look just as hot and not too different without any hair but...that's like a one in a one billion chance. I guess that really is kinda the same thing. Hair on the head/face. Very different for women since head hair is their thing since most women aren't Fantastic Furry Frangelica of the Franktown Circus.

So he has legit had a beard since he could grow one. Zero exaggeration there. He has never shaved since highschool. I'm not sure if she has seen baby/adolescent/middle school photos. I've known the guy for a decade or so, casually, and have always seen him with a beard. All indications say that his life is that beard and the beard is his life force. So it was a pretty drastic, out of nowhere change. He didn't announce it, didn't discuss it, and didn't ask anyone. He basically pulled a Walter White and shaved that shit and walked into the kitchen like "yeah what".

[hefdaddy42]

Interesting.

[TioJorge]

 

But really though, right? I mean he HAD to have known it'd have an impact. A big impact. But I don't think he thought she'd break up with him, or that anything drastic would happen in terms of his relationship. But should he have? I don't think so. But then again, I've heard this a couple times before. My previous GM had a conversation with me a few years back about her soon-to-be-wed man and that she's never seen him without a beard OTHER than photos (so big difference there already), and that she probably wouldn't have gone out with him if she'd seen him without a beard to begin with, but that she loves him and obviously anything regarding breaking it off is ridiculous and laughed it off. But then here's this chick, just totally cuts it off immediately; same month, a few days/weeks (I actually don't know exactly how quick it was, but it was within a month) of fighting, and she just ends it. That to me is insanity, but...I mean I guess it's not too insane if that's his planted foot and she doesn't like it.

[Stadler]

God fucking damn it, Stadler. Always with the fantastic questions and answers. ALWAYS.

I might actually end it if my girlfriend did that. I mean..there's an off chance she'd look just as hot and not too different without any hair but...that's like a one in a one billion chance. I guess that really is kinda the same thing. Hair on the head/face. Very different for women since head hair is their thing since most women aren't Fantastic Furry Frangelica of the Franktown Circus.

So he has legit had a beard since he could grow one. Zero exaggeration there. He has never shaved since highschool. I'm not sure if she has seen baby/adolescent/middle school photos. I've known the guy for a decade or so, casually, and have always seen him with a beard. All indications say that his life is that beard and the beard is his life force. So it was a pretty drastic, out of nowhere change. He didn't announce it, didn't discuss it, and didn't ask anyone. He basically pulled a Walter White and shaved that shit and walked into the kitchen like "yeah what".

See, I would love to talk to that guy and see where his head is at.   Maybe it was just purely random, but there's a chance it's not.  I don't mean anything major there, but if it meant that much to him and he felt he needed a change, that's worth discussing in my view.   

Here's another question:  did he know she'd leave if he did that? 

EDIT: You must have heard me coming, because you answered before I even aksed the question!

[TioJorge]

 

Yeah as far as I know, it was an on-the-whim thing and he just did it not thinking about it. Which again, I think is totally within his rights. I think to most people that's a normal thing. I've had a beard ever since this most recent job (a year and a half) and came in shaved one day and people were taken aback more than I expected, but no one was like "Uhhh FUCK YOU DUDE" 

But years and years (and years) of a beard and then all of a sudden, a shave? That's a different story. A dark story, apparently.  (I shouldn't laugh, but this whole thing has literally made my year, like I don't need TV anymore as long as this is going on).

[gmillerdrake]

My wife likes the 'look' of my beard or goatee but hates the 'feel' of it.

[Herrick]

love this thread

I have a big ol' beard that I don't even trim regularly and I still get compliments on it. If I shaved I'd look 10 years younger but I also have a weak chin so the beard helps me look more like A Real Dude than without.

Well if you ever develop the old-man saggy face, that beard will come in handy. I have a beard about half the year but when (if) I develop old-man saggy face then I'm going to have the beard full time, methinks.

Would you break up with a girl who has flowing blond locks if she shaved her head bald and said "this is my reality, deal with it"?   

I suppose it depends where I am in the relationship, but while there are a couple things with my wife that I'm not keen on, I don't see myself ending the relationship (perhaps having a conversation about it, though).  Maybe, though as the bald look isn't my thing.  I don't know. 

I tend to think there's more though; HOW he did it is a factor.  Has she never seen pictures of him without the beard?  He was born that way?

A woman shaving her head completely bald is different though. We're not used to that look even though it's more prevalent these days. I don't think I'd mind some stubble but shaved completely bald would be weird.

Yeah I get the typical comments when I shave my beard but after a week, no one cares or remembers what I looked like with the beard. My step-kids don't even say anything when I shave.

[El Barto]

love this thread

I have a big ol' beard that I don't even trim regularly and I still get compliments on it. If I shaved I'd look 10 years younger but I also have a weak chin so the beard helps me look more like A Real Dude than without. although leaving some stubble is where I probably look 100% best. I just having shaving and buying shaving supplies so I just grow mine out. I let it grow for almost 3 years before trimming it way down, and instantly regretted it, and I've been letting it grow for over a year again as of last month

This is me. I get compliments all the time. Sadly, most of the female compliments aren't from gals I'd be interested in, though. Yet it is encouraging that plenty of women do seem to dig giant beards.

And physical attraction is an important part of a relationship. I'm pretty turned off by women with super short hair. Not a choice I make or something I can alter. It simply is what it is. We all have our interests and attractions. I don't think that's shallow, personally. I mean, why should be entirely about one person? It's bad to dump somebody for drastically changing their appearance, but it's OK to change yourself into something you know your SO finds unattractive? The simple answer to Stadler's question is that no, I wouldn't break up with a woman for shaving her head. I'd dump her in a heartbeat for the "deal with it" thing.

[Ben_Jamin]

I hope he sat her down and had a good conversation about it. Even if it seems like a small matter, it's big if she has never seen him without it. Which is even more concerning if she hasn't seen any younger pictures of him without a beard.

If he didn't, he's just as much in fault as her not even seeing any pictures of him without the beard.

[TioJorge]

That's a good point, it's more about the principal of the act than the act itself or the aesthetics of it.

But I'm not going to pretend like it'd be principal on my part, I just wouldn't have any of it if she shaved her head and said it was that way for good (or for the foreseeable future; but if the foreseeable future is longer than a year, maybe even less, I'm still like hmmmm).

I hope he sat her down and had a good conversation about it. Even if it seems like a small matter, it's big if she has never seen him without it. Which is even more concerning if she hasn't seen any younger pictures of him without a beard.

If he didn't, he's just as much in fault as her not even seeing any pictures of him without the beard.

I mean that's true, he knew she hadn't seen him without a beard and apparently didn't give any thought to that. I don't know their relationship super well (I've talked more with her about it than I have with him), but it seems like it was a shock to him that she did that so I'm assuming they were...well, about as close as a 5 year relationship would be for most committed people. He comes from the same kind of family that I do (and the same area, which is the backwoods of Louisiana) and they aren't picture-takers and certainly not picture-keepers. I might be talking out my memory-faltered ass here but I'm pretty sure he was there when Katrina hit too, so there's a good chance he has no choice in the no-photos situation.

I was in Houston when Harvey hit so if for whatever reason I end up with another woman, she's going to have literally no pictures of me before my adulthood.

[The Walrus]

love this thread

I have a big ol' beard that I don't even trim regularly and I still get compliments on it. If I shaved I'd look 10 years younger but I also have a weak chin so the beard helps me look more like A Real Dude than without. although leaving some stubble is where I probably look 100% best. I just having shaving and buying shaving supplies so I just grow mine out. I let it grow for almost 3 years before trimming it way down, and instantly regretted it, and I've been letting it grow for over a year again as of last month

This is me. I get compliments all the time. Sadly, most of the female compliments aren't from gals I'd be interested in, though. Yet it is encouraging that plenty of women do seem to dig giant beards.

And physical attraction is an important part of a relationship. I'm pretty turned off by women with super short hair. Not a choice I make or something I can alter. It simply is what it is. We all have our interests and attractions. I don't think that's shallow, personally. I mean, why should be entirely about one person? It's bad to dump somebody for drastically changing their appearance, but it's OK to change yourself into something you know your SO finds unattractive? The simple answer to Stadler's question is that no, I wouldn't break up with a woman for shaving her head. I'd dump her in a heartbeat for the "deal with it" thing.

yeah exactly this 100%

[Herrick]

Well, he may be better off if he's no longer with someone who would dump him for such a silly thing as shaving his beard.

[Stadler]

Him: "Honey, I have some news.  I have ball cancer and I'll be sterile and impotent for the rest of my life."
Her: "Later!"

[Lonk]

I shaved my goatee last week.

My girlfriend was happy.

I am growing it back (or maybe a full beard? Hmmmm?)

And my girlfriend is sad.





Women...

Mine is the opposite. I always let her know before I shave it off and she hates it when I'm without it. I usually only cut it for a few weeks just to get a different look though.

[Stadler]

Me: Clean shaven.
My wife's ex: you know the look:  bald (because when you shave that ring around and over the ears, it's bald by CHOICE!) and goatee.

My wife, after I haven't shaved in a couple days: "You gonna do anything with that?"

[The Walrus]

Big ol' bump. Let's talk beards.

So, I love the world of beard grooming products. Much like I have months' worth of shampoo and conditioner in my bathroom at any given moment, I have multiple products for my beard, with backups for when I run out. For the last few months I've been using this brand of products by The Beard Guyz, because I can buy it all a couple minutes away at Walgreen's. This is everything in my bathroom cabinet right now.

- The balm 'softens and conditions beard, moisturizes skin'
- The butter 'hydrates and softens, relieves itchy beard'
- The oil 'moisturizes and conditions'
- The serum 'helps with a thicker and fuller look'
- The beard wash is the shampoo/conditioner

Now, if you had told me a few years ago I'd be spending all this money on seemingly redundant products, I'd have laughed and said no way. But over time it went from just using beard oil to then using real beard wash; then the balm came in. Then I had to try the butter because it's similar but ever so slightly different. And the serum, well, everybody wants a full beard; I already have one, but I have noticed after regular usage in spots I'd like to fill out more, it actually has worked for me, especially when combined with using the other products.

They all work, so I'm happy having them. It's gotten to the point where I like grooming my beard more than all the hair on my head, strangely. I use the wash 6 days a week, and the oil every 2-3 days. The oil gets rubbed in around the skin; if I'm using balm or butter, I'll work it in through the rest of the beard. Generally, I'll use the balm in the morning, and the butter at night; the balm is heavier and 'stickier' and gives the beard more hold, while the butter is lighter and leaves the beard softer.

So, yeah. Beards are fun. At least I know whenever I start to lose my hair, I can shave my head and still hold on to the beard.

[King Postwhore]

I haven't shaved my mustache in 2 month. I'm going for handlebars.  Never tried before. 

[The Walrus]

I haven't shaved my mustache in 2 month. I'm going for handlebars.  Never tried before.

That's awesome. Once it starts getting in the way it's such a pain in the ass but it's really cool. At some point I should just suck it up and buy mustache wax. I've gotten to the point where if I had the wax I could totally pull off those old time styles.

[King Postwhore]

I bought the wax. It's close.

[TAC]

What in the fuck?

[The Walrus]

What in the fuck?

Get outta here, babyface. 

[King Postwhore]

You hate cats and handlebar mustaches?

[TAC]

What in the fuck?

Get outta here, babyface. 

 

[MoraWintersoul]

Beards are a full face of makeup for men. There's dudes who break up with women when they see ~their real face~ so no reason why the opposite wouldn't happen sometimes.

I'm annoyed every time my husband shaves because I love him with a full beard, and it's the easiest thing in the world to maintain: just don't shave, and every now and then wash it! It's much more difficult for me to maintain my hair and yet somehow I have resisted the impulse to shave my head  but he can do whatever he wants and I only bitch about the sandpaper hugs and kisses as it grows back, not the way he looks without it. I'm not afraid he's gonna say he's done with it forever, because I know one single Millennial who actually shaves every day, it's not something we really do anymore.

[wolfking]

Well, he may be better off if he's no longer with someone who would dump him for such a silly thing as shaving his beard.

This.

[RoeDent]

I'm disappointed. I thought someone had declared Vlasto Day.

[wolfking]

I haven't shaved my mustache in 2 month. I'm going for handlebars.  Never tried before.

That's awesome. Once it starts getting in the way it's such a pain in the ass but it's really cool. At some point I should just suck it up and buy mustache wax. I've gotten to the point where if I had the wax I could totally pull off those old time styles.

I don't have a really long beard but I've got a pretty nice full one and had a decent enough length that I started using oil and balm.  I only started that about 2 years ago and I'm not sure why.  Beard balm is nice and beard oil is just amazing.  Keeps everything soft, neat, in place, beautiful.  I'm never used full on wax though.

[jingle.boy]

I shave my head (entire head - face and dome) 1-2 times a week - either with a blade or with my 'beard' trimmer.  Sometimes the blade is just too much of a PITA.