What pissed you off today?

[Podaar]

Gary,

Where are you going? Cozumel, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo...?

[gmillerdrake]

Gary,

Where are you going? Cozumel, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo...?

Some all inclusive resort in Cancun. I’ll try to find the name of the place and more info.

[TAC]

Wasn't a resort in Cancun shot up or very near it a couple of years ago?

[El Barto]

Wasn't a resort in Cancun shot up or very near it a couple of years ago?

No, but a couple of tourists got caught in the crossfire between rival gangs, but they were in the city proper. There was also an incident where two guys were clipped in the middle of a resort, but that was a mob hit on two gangster types who actually deserved it. Cancun is an interesting situation. The state it resides in is deep in the heart of cartel country, and it's a big city so there's already apt to be a lot of crime. However, the gangbangers tend to keep their activities outside of the touristy parts, and violent crime inside of them is quite rare. Moreover, after the two tourists got shot Juan Law came down on the place pretty hard. Honestly, pickpocketing and other tourist scams are the real threat there.

[TAC]

Wasn't a resort in Cancun shot up or very near it a couple of years ago?

No, but a couple of tourists got caught in the crossfire between rival gangs, but they were in the city proper. There was also an incident where two guys were clipped in the middle of a resort, but that was a mob hit on two gangster types who actually deserved it. Cancun is an interesting situation. The state it resides in is deep in the heart of cartel country, and it's a big city so there's already apt to be a lot of crime. However, the gangbangers tend to keep their activities outside of the touristy parts, and violent crime inside of them is quite rare. Moreover, after the two tourists got shot Juan Law came down on the place pretty hard. Honestly, pickpocketing and other tourist scams are the real threat there.

I know my comment was extremely vague and likely inaccurate.... but I feel much better now.

[Adami]

So what I'm gathering here is that we're aiming for a DTF meet up 2024 in Mexico?

[Glasser]

Going to use this thread to vent a bit soooo....here it goes:

My in-laws are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this year......and to celebrate they've decided to take the entire family to a resort in Mexico. And I'm livid about it. Let me explain.

First off, I don't like not having a choice in the matter. I was just 'told' that by the way....you're taking your wife and kids to a third world country of which there has been all sorts of shit going down in for a while. Sure, it's a 'resort' and "everything will be fine as long as you don't leave the resort" and so forth.....but the fact of the matter that I wasn't given a choice at all doesn't and will never sit well with me. Especially when it comes to matters that directly affect my family. Which this does.

Secondly, all the siblings (their kids) just allowed them to take out a second mortgage on their home to foot the bill for all of this. Horrible idea, completely irresponsible for not one of them to bring up the fact of what a dumb idea this is. Then, we find out that since they're paying for everyone that of course they choose a cheaper airline (Frontier) and I just had to drop $700 on seat selections and baggage.....add that to the cost of getting passports for a family of (5) and I'm now $1600 deep into this "free" trip to Mexico that I had no say in the matter.

Now factor in the seaweed issue that is enveloping the entire gulf as we speak.....and by the time we get down there in June will be nice and ripe and make anything beach unbearable.....and this just keeps making the case for a dumb idea.

This thing should have been discussed.....should have taken place stateside for a fraction of the cost that would eliminate the travel headaches and dangers. I can' describe in words how F'n ticked off I am over this and the fact my family has been taken hostage by this all. And of course, I'm the 'bad guy' in all of this when discussing with my wife or brother in laws because "why am I not thankful for a 'free' trip to Mexico?' Maybe I am being a baby about it all.....I get it....you only live once, go make some memories and be happy. But I have a massive character flaw when it comes to being told what to do with no input or other options...to just shut up and do it.

I'll smile for the pictures and keep quiet about it all (unless asked or provoked) but I' don't think I'll get to the point to where I'm A) looking forward to this or B) happy about any of it. Especially since every time I turn a corner there's some other cost I have to cough up for this 'free' trip

/end rant

Tell them to fuck off and you're not going.  That would piss me off too.  The nerve of them just making a decision like that and expect you to be grateful about it.  Fuck that.  People really are fucking oblivious sometimes.  I think you have every right to be annoyed mate.

Kade, No holding back, I love it!!! and I agree 100%!   

[TAC]

So what I'm gathering here is that we're aiming for a DTF meet up 2024 in Mexico?

At la casa de Barto.

[KevShmev]

Tell them to fuck off and you're not going.  That would piss me off too.  The nerve of them just making a decision like that and expect you to be grateful about it.  Fuck that.  People really are fucking oblivious sometimes.  I think you have every right to be annoyed mate.

While I agree with the sentiment, I don't think that approach would be in Gary's best interests when it comes to family harmony.  That said, I get it. 

Gary, you have every right to be pissed, and no, you are not being a baby about it.  This sounds like complete bull shit.

[TAC]

Tell them to fuck off and you're not going.  That would piss me off too.  The nerve of them just making a decision like that and expect you to be grateful about it.  Fuck that.  People really are fucking oblivious sometimes.  I think you have every right to be annoyed mate.

While I agree with the sentiment, I don't think that approach would be in Gary's best interests when it comes to family harmony.  That said, I get it. 

Gary, you have every right to be pissed, and no, you are not being a baby about it.  This sounds like complete bull shit.

Gary, maybe you could bargain for something, like a new truck or something.

[wolfking]

Tell them to fuck off and you're not going.  That would piss me off too.  The nerve of them just making a decision like that and expect you to be grateful about it.  Fuck that.  People really are fucking oblivious sometimes.  I think you have every right to be annoyed mate.

While I agree with the sentiment, I don't think that approach would be in Gary's best interests when it comes to family harmony.  That said, I get it. 

Gary, you have every right to be pissed, and no, you are not being a baby about it.  This sounds like complete bull shit.

Okay, tell them to piss off! 

Nah, I get it, sounds like an abrupt approach wouldn't be the best idea.  I do think a little forcefullness and putting the foot down is warranted though.  Gary still probably has to go, but if I had to go, I'd be letting them know my displeasure.

Although causing some unrest might get him out of it.    Nah.....probably don't do that. 

[gmillerdrake]

Tell them to fuck off and you're not going.  That would piss me off too.  The nerve of them just making a decision like that and expect you to be grateful about it.  Fuck that.  People really are fucking oblivious sometimes.  I think you have every right to be annoyed mate.

While I agree with the sentiment, I don't think that approach would be in Gary's best interests when it comes to family harmony.  That said, I get it. 

Gary, you have every right to be pissed, and no, you are not being a baby about it.  This sounds like complete bull shit.

Okay, tell them to piss off! 

Nah, I get it, sounds like an abrupt approach wouldn't be the best idea.  I do think a little forcefullness and putting the foot down is warranted though.  Gary still probably has to go, but if I had to go, I'd be letting them know my displeasure.

Although causing some unrest might get him out of it.    Nah.....probably don't do that. 

They all know my displeasure. I’ve made it known……they all wait to talk about the trip until I’m not around. I’ll have about 19 panick attacks also on that flight. I get severe motion sickness and in general don’t like to fly. I’ve only done it four times in my life and that was twice for my honeymoon to and from and to and from NY for work years ago. I just don’t see the need to do it unless it’s absolutely necessary. To me it’s a waste of money. Not to mention the odd chance that thing goes down you’re not surviving.

[wolfking]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

[gmillerdrake]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.


And there’s no way I would stay behind while my wife and three sons went to a different country. Despite all the reassuring from EB and what not in scenarios like that I plan for the worse case….and not being there in case of something going south is not an option. It’s honestly the only reason I’m going…..out of obligation to MY family (wife/sons) not my in laws as I don’t really think it’s fair what they’ve done with this whole thing.

[Cool Chris]

I hear you Gary, and I don't envy your position. As a dad, I understand not enjoying having no control over situations that involve my kids. Also, the expectation of such a trip with no dialogue would upset me as well.

For a personal narrative, my in-laws go to Hawaii every summer, and book a house for us all to stay in. MiL was born there, and she took my wife and her sister there every summer when they were kids, so it is a longstanding thing with their family. There is an expectation we go with them, which is easy for my wife who doesn't work over the summer.  But I have limited time off, and even so it is always an issue about me "selfishly" not wanting to spend all my vacation days on a trip with her family. I've been told I am not grateful for the gift they are giving us. I try to respond that while I appreciate the generosity, it would be nice if I had a little more say in how I spend my vacation. I remember last time there, over the course of 6 days, on one day, MiL said "So Chris, anything you would like to do today?" It stood out to me, as it was the only time anyone asked me that the whole week.

I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. I mean, of course I know, I'd go, just as you are doing. Try to go with good spirits though. I always have to psych myself up for family trip with the inlaws. It's not how a vacation should feel, but if I don't, I'll be a drag on the rest of the family and ruin their enjoyment.

[wolfking]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.


And there’s no way I would stay behind while my wife and three sons went to a different country. Despite all the reassuring from EB and what not in scenarios like that I plan for the worse case….and not being there in case of something going south is not an option. It’s honestly the only reason I’m going…..out of obligation to MY family (wife/sons) not my in laws as I don’t really think it’s fair what they’ve done with this whole thing.

Yeah, my sister and her husband do it all the time.  I think they owe more money now than they did when they took the home loan out 15 odd years ago, just absurd.

The second point, yep, of course totally get that.  You're a good man Gary.  I would do the same, just threw it out there.  I guess over there going into a country like Mexico is different over here going down to a different state, so a lot more risk over there by the sounds.

[gmillerdrake]

I hear you Gary, and I don't envy your position. As a dad, I understand not enjoying having no control over situations that involve my kids. Also, the expectation of such a trip with no dialogue would upset me as well.

For a personal narrative, my in-laws go to Hawaii every summer, and book a house for us all to stay in. MiL was born there, and she took my wife and her sister there every summer when they were kids, so it is a longstanding thing with their family. There is an expectation we go with them, which is easy for my wife who doesn't work over the summer.  But I have limited time off, and even so it is always an issue about me "selfishly" not wanting to spend all my vacation days on a trip with her family. I've been told I am not grateful for the gift they are giving us. I try to respond that while I appreciate the generosity, it would be nice if I had a little more say in how I spend my vacation. I remember last time there, over the course of 6 days, on one day, MiL said "So Chris, anything you would like to do today?" It stood out to me, as it was the only time anyone asked me that the whole week.

I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. I mean, of course I know, I'd go, just as you are doing. Try to go with good spirits though. I always have to psych myself up for family trip with the inlaws. It's not how a vacation should feel, but if I don't, I'll be a drag on the rest of the family and ruin their enjoyment.

My in laws…..all of them…..Mother, Father, two sisters and brothers are great people. Kind and caring….really a picture perfect type ‘Hollywood movie’ thing going. I always tell my wife she grew up in make believe land because it’s just unreal how ‘perfect’ it all was. To this day my mother and father in law are hand in hand in love. I didn’t see that growing up. So, I need to make sure I get that out there….I’m extremely blessed to have the in laws I have.

That being said……much like you Chris…..99% of the ‘family’ vacations we’ve been on has been with all of them. ALL of them. It’s typically a week and it’s typically a place none of us have a choice in because my MIL and FIL foot the bill….but, it’s always just been places like Gulf Shores or Lake Michigan or something. This was pretty extreme if you ask me just due to the out of country travel.

There’s a reason my all time favorite vacation from two summers ago to Breckinridge is my favorite. It was just me, my wife and three sons. My wife has said a similar thing to me many times when we were on our summer vacation and I was less than thrilled…”can’t you just be grateful?”  Of course I am but it takes a freaking toll!!!

I had resolved myself to this trip and pretty much gotten over it until I had to cough up $700 yesterday for luggage and sear assignments on the to and from flights. That got me all charged back up!

[Grappler]

it would be nice if I had a little more say in how I spend my vacation.

That is my single biggest issue when we travel with my in-laws.  They ONLY vacation in Panama City Beach, FL.  It is the only spot where my mother in law wants to travel to - she loves their beaches.  So if we travel with them, we're going there.  My father in law is incredibly stubborn when it comes to other details - having to book a condo at the beach vs. a hotel room, demanding a certain type of rental car, and definitely the restaurants we would go to.  It drives me crazy to travel with them because I get absolutely no say at all, and like you said, nobody ever asks me what I would like to do. 

My wife finally started feeling the same way a few years ago and we stopped traveling with them.  We did bring my mother in law with on a driving trip to Panama City Beach and while she enjoyed the few days there, she was miffed that she had to spend 4 days in the back of the SUV with the kids and only 3 days at the beach.  She doesn't want to take any other driving trips with us.   

[Podaar]

Gary,

Where are you going? Cozumel, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo...?

Some all inclusive resort in Cancun. I’ll try to find the name of the place and more info.

Most of the resorts in Cancun are really cool. If it's the Palace Moon, there's like 7 fucking restraunts on the propety. You should be able to get in a round of golf or two. Running trails, bike rentals, zip lining, parasailing, scuba lessons, suba adventures, it's all there. I'd also recommend signing up for a bus ride to Chichen Itsa--it's one of the most fascinating places I've ever been.

Make the best of it. Fuck-a-bunch-of whining about bossy parents, that's what they're there for. You want to get back at them? Have the time of your life!

[Stadler]

All of this is the same thing we talk about everywhere else (including P/R):  it's about recognizing that other people ARE NOT YOU.   Just because YOU like it doesn't mean anyone else will.  I'm also not a beach guy.  My ideal vacation is sun, and a mix of sitting at a bar outside relaxing and looking at the scenery (whatever that is for you), and seeing things I don't get to see every day.  Museums, natural things, etc. 

I would have no interest in the beaches of Panama City, for example.  I'd bury my face in a book, or a Games puzzle magazine. 

And vacation is meant for relaxation; I'd love to ask all these people "Forget about the "where" for a second; how would you feel if YOU had to go on a vacation that gave you five panic attacks?  Is that relaxing for you?   Why would you expect that's relaxing for ME?"

Look, I'm you, Gary; I don't drive the bus, usually, I have to go with the flow.  But I do try to find my moments, find my times.

[hefdaddy42]

When my wife and I were younger, and my Dad and her Mom were still with us, we had a string of 3 or 4 years in a row where my parents took us all (my parents, my wife's parents, my wife and I and our two kids, my brother) on a vacation each summer, footing the largest percentage of bills by themselves (my wife and I weren't at the points in our careers where we could afford to contribute a lot, and my wife's parents were never wealthy people and never took vacations themselves). 

Those are, for my entire family, some of our fondest vacation memories that we have, but I think that one reason for that is that even though my parents were paying for everything, they didn't really try to pull rank when deciding what to do each day, or what restaurants to hit up, or what to cook, or anything.  They picked the condo, but they were paying for it, and the destination was where we all wanted to be anyway.  But all of us had a say in pretty much everything that happened during the vacation.  I really miss those times.

But to be clear, it was a completely different situation than what Gary is talking about.

[Lonk]

Gary,

Where are you going? Cozumel, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo...?

Some all inclusive resort in Cancun. I’ll try to find the name of the place and more info.

Most of the resorts in Cancun are really cool. If it's the Palace Moon, there's like 7 fucking restraunts on the propety. You should be able to get in a round of golf or two. Running trails, bike rentals, zip lining, parasailing, scuba lessons, suba adventures, it's all there. I'd also recommend signing up for a bus ride to Chichen Itsa--it's one of the most fascinating places I've ever been.

Now I feel like taking a trip down there 

If you are going to be in Cancun, I would also recommend taking a day trip to Isla Mujeres. It's a short ferry ride from Cancun (15 - 20 mins I think), and there is a lot you can do on the island (Garrafon Park is beautiful). I stayed on the island for 2 weeks the first time I went to Mexico.

[gmillerdrake]

Those are, for my entire family, some of our fondest vacation memories that we have

For sure.....and for the most part.....these vacations that we've been on with them over the years have generated countless cherished memories. It was 'especially special' because the boys were young and each summer was a fun, new time.

Obviously as I've detailed...this vacation/trip is it's own beast.

[El Barto]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.

I'm not trying to push back on this, don't really know the circumstances, but why is this so insane? Sounds to me like if it's their 50th then they're likely in their 70s. If they took out a home equity line of credit or a reverse mortgage then that actually makes some sense to me. Equity isn't actually doing them any good in their Autumn years. It's really only their for their kids to inherit. If they did it right it might be an ideal way for them to be able to make the best of the time they have left, and again, not judging, but I'd be happy for them to do that.

[hefdaddy42]

Those are, for my entire family, some of our fondest vacation memories that we have

For sure.....and for the most part.....these vacations that we've been on with them over the years have generated countless cherished memories. It was 'especially special' because the boys were young and each summer was a fun, new time.

Obviously as I've detailed...this vacation/trip is it's own beast.

My kids were young on those trips as well.

I agree, your situation is not like mine was.

[jingle.boy]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.

I'm not trying to push back on this, don't really know the circumstances, but why is this so insane? Sounds to me like if it's their 50th then they're likely in their 70s. If they took out a home equity line of credit or a reverse mortgage then that actually makes some sense to me. Equity isn't actually doing them any good in their Autumn years. It's really only their for their kids to inherit. If they did it right it might be an ideal way for them to be able to make the best of the time they have left, and again, not judging, but I'd be happy for them to do that.

I was kinda thinking the same thing.  Equity is meaningless on its own.  Using to enrich lives by creating moments and memories is exactly what I A) am doing right now with my renovations, and B) what I hope to be able to do in the final years of my life.

[gmillerdrake]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.

I'm not trying to push back on this, don't really know the circumstances, but why is this so insane? Sounds to me like if it's their 50th then they're likely in their 70s. If they took out a home equity line of credit or a reverse mortgage then that actually makes some sense to me. Equity isn't actually doing them any good in their Autumn years. It's really only their for their kids to inherit. If they did it right it might be an ideal way for them to be able to make the best of the time they have left, and again, not judging, but I'd be happy for them to do that.

This is what I think the goal is....and, that's fine. My FIL asked his kids years ago if they'd rather get an inheritance or him and my MIL just keep renting out the places we vacation in the summer. Of course everyone wants to create the memories, including me. I think taking out a $50k loan when they're on a fixed income was the crazy part.

Again.....I may be too far in the weeds on this pertaining to being mad about it due to not having a choice in any of it. Even the last handful of summer vacations it was always a text or email with three or four resorts, air BnB's etc etc for us all to CHOOSE from. Even if they'd just told us "hey....we've rented out rooms at a resort in Arizona" I wouldn't be as upset because it's not in a different country and I can drive to it.

IMO flying to a different country is not something you decide for anyone other than yourself (or those you're the direct guardian of) This is why I'm upset.....so every other aspect of this trip that even remotely smells of an inconvenience to me is going to be magnified 1000x because of how this all went down. Every penny I spend for this trip is a penny in my mind I shouldn't have to be shelling out....I know the stance I've taken on this is rough and I should probably just grow up and deal with it. And I will, as I said....I'll play the part and not ruin it for everyone else who is apparently fine with this all. But I'm a stubborn a$$hole so I don't think any of this will ever get to the point of being 'ok' with me.

[Stadler]

Refinancing the house though is the most absurd and irresponsible thing ever IMO.  If you can't afford it, you don't go.  That blows my mind.

I've just kinda skimmed all the responses so not sure if its been mentioned my apologies but you can't yourself just not go and do a home alone?

I know. I cannot believe the siblings didn’t push back on it. Because, when they told us what was going to happen they hadn’t yet fully paid and refinanced yet. So there was a period of time they could have talked some sense into them. My in laws are both 70…..and had their house paid off for years…..it’s just insane to me that they took out money against it all.

I'm not trying to push back on this, don't really know the circumstances, but why is this so insane? Sounds to me like if it's their 50th then they're likely in their 70s. If they took out a home equity line of credit or a reverse mortgage then that actually makes some sense to me. Equity isn't actually doing them any good in their Autumn years. It's really only their for their kids to inherit. If they did it right it might be an ideal way for them to be able to make the best of the time they have left, and again, not judging, but I'd be happy for them to do that.

I was kinda thinking the same thing.  Equity is meaningless on its own.  Using to enrich lives by creating moments and memories is exactly what I A) am doing right now with my renovations, and B) what I hope to be able to do in the final years of my life.

it's still back to respecting different points of view.   Gary doesn't seem to feel enriched right now (that might change).  Some people might want the money.  I know I'm in a situation with my brother regarding my parents condo; we're not fighting, but if he was here he'd tell you, I can use the cash.  Me, well, the equity is going to grow, and I can afford to wait that out.  I love my brother, and I'm going to do what's right for BOTH of us - and if we cash out, I'm taking the Jingle route and probably building a detached garage with second floor living space (for my step son now, but for anyone who needs it moving forward), so it's a combination of all these things.  Life's complicated! 

[Harmony]

Everyone here is bringing up good points - fair points.  And I completely agree that everyone has a different idea of what makes a great vacation.  What is good for me, isn't going to please someone else.

Gary - I am a very anxious traveler myself.  I hate flying - not because I'm worried about crashing, but just because I hate being treated like cattle in a shute.  And the way some people are behaving on flights these days makes it even worse.  But it isn't just that.  Being away from home means anxiety about something going wrong at the house while I'm gone.  Do I need a house sitter?  A pet sitter - another worry, what if something happens to my cats while I'm gone?  And honestly, I'm a homebody as I get older.  I like my things.  I've worked hard for them and just having a few days to relax and move at my own pace without work is a great way (for me) to spend some time.

But I also know another thing about myself.  I build shit up into my anxiety ahead of time.  But then once I'm there, once the build up has eased and I'm truly there I can find a way to relax and get some down time and 9 times out of 10, I wind up having a great time and I'm glad that I didn't let my fears/anxieties keep me from those times and those memories.

Also, a Xanax in the airport while I'm waiting to board helps a LOT.  I'm not a huge fan of drinking on a flight but if you drink at all, I hear a cocktail can also help with that.  Every year when I have my annual exam I mention my travel anxiety and I get 10 Xanax.  This is nothing.  So you might ask your primary doctor for a script.  Just don't mix it with alcohol.

I've been to Cancun many times.  We had a time share there for a short period before the pandemic.  Big all inclusive resort with all sorts of onsight activity, bars, restaurants, and the beach.  I never felt afraid there.  We were treated like royalty.  We did go off site during the day for some tours and sight seeing but were always with a group that the resort set up for us.  It was great and even though getting there was a bitch, being there was like being in paradise.

That said, I would not be volunteering for childcare duties on my vacation.  No f-ing way.  YMMV

I hope it works out better than you anticipate and I look forward to reading about it when you get home.  Enjoy a margarita for me.  I prefer Herradura tequila.   

[gmillerdrake]

Everyone here is bringing up good points - fair points.  And I completely agree that everyone has a different idea of what makes a great vacation.  What is good for me, isn't going to please someone else.

Gary - I am a very anxious traveler myself.  I hate flying - not because I'm worried about crashing, but just because I hate being treated like cattle in a shute.  And the way some people are behaving on flights these days makes it even worse.  But it isn't just that.  Being away from home means anxiety about something going wrong at the house while I'm gone.  Do I need a house sitter?  A pet sitter - another worry, what if something happens to my cats while I'm gone?  And honestly, I'm a homebody as I get older.  I like my things.  I've worked hard for them and just having a few days to relax and move at my own pace without work is a great way (for me) to spend some time.

But I also know another thing about myself.  I build shit up into my anxiety ahead of time.  But then once I'm there, once the build up has eased and I'm truly there I can find a way to relax and get some down time and 9 times out of 10, I wind up having a great time and I'm glad that I didn't let my fears/anxieties keep me from those times and those memories.

Also, a Xanax in the airport while I'm waiting to board helps a LOT.  I'm not a huge fan of drinking on a flight but if you drink at all, I hear a cocktail can also help with that.  Every year when I have my annual exam I mention my travel anxiety and I get 10 Xanax.  This is nothing.  So you might ask your primary doctor for a script.  Just don't mix it with alcohol.

I've been to Cancun many times.  We had a time share there for a short period before the pandemic.  Big all inclusive resort with all sorts of onsight activity, bars, restaurants, and the beach.  I never felt afraid there.  We were treated like royalty.  We did go off site during the day for some tours and sight seeing but were always with a group that the resort set up for us.  It was great and even though getting there was a bitch, being there was like being in paradise.

That said, I would not be volunteering for childcare duties on my vacation.  No f-ing way.  YMMV

I hope it works out better than you anticipate and I look forward to reading about it when you get home.  Enjoy a margarita for me.  I prefer Herradura tequila.   

Well....I'm coming up on 15 years sober so I can't utilize the alcohol approach....     I'd probably steer clear of the xanax as well because of my history with alcohol and what not....but, I do appreciate the other tid bits of advice. I'm sure it'll be a great trip and a good time will be had. I know these resorts are big business for Mexico and the drug cartel leaders who wash their money there so I'm sure that it'll be more or less safe. Again, it's not really the trip itself that I have an issue with....this really does just boil down to me not even being given a choice in the matter when this affects my family. That's what got my blood boiling.

As far as flying....I'll take a dramamine and hope that I don't get too sick and I'm sure I'll ward off multiple panic attacks but hey....whatever. It's only a four hour flight     

[El Barto]

I was going to mention the Xanax, myself, but I don't think Gary's a pharmaceutical kind of guy. Also, when I first got a script for Xanax I asked my doctor what it was going to do to me, and he said it was going to be about the same relaxation as drinking a nice glass of scotch. When I asked him "why not just drink a nice glass of scotch" he said "Yeah, do that too!"    Obviously it depends on how the Alprazalam will effect you, but for my part it has no discernible effect, rather than knocking down any stress or anxiety I might have, and ensuring that I sleep well that night.

As for motion sickness, just make sure and get a window seat. It's worst when you're taxiing and being able to see level ground helps a great deal. In the air the clouds are relaxing, and being able to see when you bank also helps. Having the visual clues match what your ears sense makes a big difference.

edit: For what it's worth, so long as you don't take it as the doctor prescribes (one a day for thirty days) it's not addictive at all. I get a 30 day (pill) supply about once a year and take it pretty infrequently. You really don't know you've taken anything, so it's not like you're clamouring to repeat the experience.

[Harmony]

Gary, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize you were sober.  That wasn't very considerate of me. 

I too get horrible motion sickness sometimes, so EB's advice is spot on.  But I admit, if I took a Dramamine I'd sleep for 48 hours, which might be preferable than puking but not a way I'd want to spend the first part of my vacation.  I'm super sensitive to that drug though, not everyone is.  I mostly just hope for a flight without much turbulence.

[King Postwhore]

There's only 1 choice left Gary.


An ACME mallet.

[gmillerdrake]

Gary, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize you were sober.  That wasn't very considerate of me. 

I too get horrible motion sickness sometimes, so EB's advice is spot on.  But I admit, if I took a Dramamine I'd sleep for 48 hours, which might be preferable than puking but not a way I'd want to spend the first part of my vacation.  I'm super sensitive to that drug though, not everyone is.  I mostly just hope for a flight without much turbulence.

No worries at all Harmony!

 I did select a window seat for myself to and from, although I'm sure I'll trade out with one of the boys for a bit so they can experience it all as well. The last flight I was on was returning to StL from NY and we flew over/near a storm that actually spawned a tornado in StL. From what I was told by other passengers who flew a lot we experienced some bad turbulence AND I got to take part in what I was also told was the roughest landing others had bene a part of. The nose of the plane bounced a handful of times as well landed....like we just slammed into the ground. So...that was fun 

[gmillerdrake]

There's only 1 choice left Gary.


An ACME mallet.

That'll be day three of the trip