What pissed you off today?

[King Postwhore]

Hey, it's OK guys. I want to do this.

[jingle.boy]

Hey, it's OK guys. I want to do this.

That's your liver talking!

[TAC]

Hey, it's OK guys. I want to do this.

That's your liver talking!

My liver and Joe's liver must be liver buddies.

[King Postwhore]

My liver just called me a quitter.

[jingle.boy]

My liver just called me a quitter.

Shut up liver, you're fine.

[King Postwhore]

This liquid diet is to help shrink the liver to make the surgery easier.

[Adami]

This liquid diet is to help shrink the liver to make the surgery easier.

I've done a week of liquid diet. The first 3-4 days are really hard, but then your stomach kind of just adjusts and it gets a lot easier.

[jingle.boy]

This liquid diet is to help shrink the liver to make the surgery easier.

I've done a week of liquid diet. The first 3-4 days are really hard, but then your stomach kind of just adjusts and it gets a lot easier.

What about the exit door?

[King Postwhore]

This liquid diet is to help shrink the liver to make the surgery easier.

I've done a week of liquid diet. The first 3-4 days are really hard, but then your stomach kind of just adjusts and it gets a lot easier.

I'm not looking forward to this week. Lol

[Adami]

This liquid diet is to help shrink the liver to make the surgery easier.

I've done a week of liquid diet. The first 3-4 days are really hard, but then your stomach kind of just adjusts and it gets a lot easier.

What about the exit door?

Leaves as it enters.

[lordxizor]

You want to know what pisses me the fuck off?  DISRESPECT. My 24 year old sons girlfriend who basically does nothing all day every day essentially lives in my house and it makes me want to vomit. She's here 5 days a week. My son is in health care and works 2 overnight shifts a week, for now, and she just lays in his bed all fucking day and then is awake all night consuming food and alcohol. I have a wife and three kids in a pretty small home and having her here is not ok. She has a big home barely 5 minutes from here. My wife doesn't want to upset my son so she tolerates it. I don't understand, is it only me? 

Kick the bitch out man, simple.

It's not that simple though. They kick her out, good chance their son goes with her and their relationship with him is permanently damaged. My kids are too young to date, but one of my worst fears is one of them getting serious with a woman we hate or is clearly bad for him.

[jingle.boy]

We had that back in the fall, and the girl he (thankfully briefly) dated him really messed with him and had him believing he wasn't good enough for her because he was living at home.

I kinda see both sides, but the good lord has a very good point. It's a fine balance.

[Ben_Jamin]

You want to know what pisses me the fuck off?  DISRESPECT. My 24 year old sons girlfriend who basically does nothing all day every day essentially lives in my house and it makes me want to vomit. She's here 5 days a week. My son is in health care and works 2 overnight shifts a week, for now, and she just lays in his bed all fucking day and then is awake all night consuming food and alcohol. I have a wife and three kids in a pretty small home and having her here is not ok. She has a big home barely 5 minutes from here. My wife doesn't want to upset my son so she tolerates it. I don't understand, is it only me? 

Kick the bitch out man, simple.

It's not that simple though. They kick her out, good chance their son goes with her and their relationship with him is permanently damaged. My kids are too young to date, but one of my worst fears is one of them getting serious with a woman we hate or is clearly bad for him.

That's not your decision to make though. And this is where prejudices can take hold and lead to a Romeo And Juliet scenario.

All you can do as a parent is guide them. You can't make decisions for an Adult Human Being. Doesn't being an Adult mean you are held accountable for every decision you make and are Adult enough to deal with the consequences?

Adulthood is where the true test of parenthood gets put into play.

That's why I said..."If said girlfriend is acting this way around our house. How will she act when it's just you two living together? Will she just lay in bed while you work and nothing gets done around the house (Peggy Bundy)?  Because she isn't showing us she'll be capable of handling taking care of a house?"

[King Postwhore]

It is his decision.  His house.  Not his son's.  Now of course there is steps to take to see if it can be resolved or not. 

[Stadler]

I've faced this in the past, to various degrees.  Even though I'm the stepdad, I had to tell my stepdaughter that this guy is a loser.   I didn't force anything, but I did say keep your eyes open and if you ever need help or a place to sleep, we're always here for you.  I did draw the line, though and say "but I'm not interested in helping that asshole continue to be a douchebag".  In fact, I've had to do that twice.  I've also had to say "my house, my rules".

It's firm, but it's compassionate.  I'm always there for my kids/stepkids, no questions asked and I think I've proven that over the years.

Of course, I've only ever done that with the full support of my wife, so there's that.

[Ben_Jamin]

It is his decision.  His house.  Not his son's.  Now of course there is steps to take to see if it can be resolved or not.

I meant on who they're dating, and there's various reasons why people form serious relationships.

Of course, having her stay there at his house is his decision because it's his house. But also, if his son makes decent money, it won't be long until he can move out and have a place of his own, and Glasser won't have to tolerate her being a dead-beat in his home.

But again, my concern would be to tell my son about his "comrade" not putting her share into helping around the house. I've witnessed, through my cousins, guys that weren't doing shit around the house. If I had a boyfriend stay over at my parents house, guaranteed, my parents would've said something to me about him not doing shit around the house. I would also expect them to help out around the house, because it's another mouth to feed, they're old enough to do stuff, and if they don't like it too bad, they're old enough to get an apartment in town if they can.

[lordxizor]

I've faced this in the past, to various degrees.  Even though I'm the stepdad, I had to tell my stepdaughter that this guy is a loser.   I didn't force anything, but I did say keep your eyes open and if you ever need help or a place to sleep, we're always here for you.  I did draw the line, though and say "but I'm not interested in helping that asshole continue to be a douchebag".  In fact, I've had to do that twice.  I've also had to say "my house, my rules".

It's firm, but it's compassionate.  I'm always there for my kids/stepkids, no questions asked and I think I've proven that over the years.

Of course, I've only ever done that with the full support of my wife, so there's that.

There is definitely a right way and a wrong way to have those type of conversations. I think the compassion part is key to make clear to your child (or stepchild in your case). The last thing you want to do is make your kid run to the arms of a bad person because you drove them away questioning their relationship. Obviously once they're adults it's your kids choice and their mistake to make. But I think we've all seen enough terrible relationships to pray to God our kids to avoid those types of situations.

[Ben_Jamin]

I've faced this in the past, to various degrees.  Even though I'm the stepdad, I had to tell my stepdaughter that this guy is a loser.   I didn't force anything, but I did say keep your eyes open and if you ever need help or a place to sleep, we're always here for you.  I did draw the line, though and say "but I'm not interested in helping that asshole continue to be a douchebag".  In fact, I've had to do that twice.  I've also had to say "my house, my rules".

It's firm, but it's compassionate.  I'm always there for my kids/stepkids, no questions asked and I think I've proven that over the years.

Of course, I've only ever done that with the full support of my wife, so there's that.

There is definitely a right way and a wrong way to have those type of conversations. I think the compassion part is key to make clear to your child (or stepchild in your case). The last thing you want to do is make your kid run to the arms of a bad person because you drove them away questioning their relationship. Obviously once they're adults it's your kids choice and their mistake to make. But I think we've all seen enough terrible relationships to pray to God our kids to avoid those types of situations.

And why do people form terrible relationships? Is it because of co-dependency? Because of the need and desire to feel loved? Insecurity? Lack of self-worth and self-reliance?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-time-cure/201308/toxic-relationships

[King Postwhore]

Lack of maturity.  Lack of putting the same in as the other partner.  No moral compass.

[lordxizor]

There are so many reasons a person may stick in a bad relationship. It can be lack of experience. Maybe they just can't see red flags that an older person may see.

We can all be blinded by love at times.

[Stadler]

There are so many reasons a person may stick in a bad relationship. It can be lack of experience. Maybe they just can't see red flags that an older person may see.

We can all be blinded by love at times.

I don't discount the fact that we - by that I mean, many people - just don't want to be alone with themselves.  I think there's a comfort in being with someone, even if (and if there's "wounded bird" stuff going on, BECAUSE OF) that person being a bad fit.

[Chino]

Hope is a hell of a drug.

[El Barto]

You want to know what pisses me the fuck off?  DISRESPECT. My 24 year old sons girlfriend who basically does nothing all day every day essentially lives in my house and it makes me want to vomit. She's here 5 days a week. My son is in health care and works 2 overnight shifts a week, for now, and she just lays in his bed all fucking day and then is awake all night consuming food and alcohol. I have a wife and three kids in a pretty small home and having her here is not ok. She has a big home barely 5 minutes from here. My wife doesn't want to upset my son so she tolerates it. I don't understand, is it only me? 

Kick the bitch out man, simple.

It's not that simple though. They kick her out, good chance their son goes with her and their relationship with him is permanently damaged. My kids are too young to date, but one of my worst fears is one of them getting serious with a woman we hate or is clearly bad for him.

He's 24. No relationships will be harmed in the production of this whatever. He might be pissed about it for a while, but unless this is the woman he's going to remain married to for the next 60 years, his folks will win out in the long run.

[wolfking]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

[Glasser]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

[wolfking]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

[TAC]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

I think the fact that her step father doesn't let your son sleep there is a perfect door for you to open with regards to your house.

Perhaps you could tell them that you have tried to make it work and accommodate them, but that unless they move in together, the sleepovers are finished. And you could be honest that it is causing too much stress with the rest of the family. The house simply isn't big enough. Your other kids deserve to live in a peaceful atmosphere, and you are in control of that. Don't let them down by worrying about pissing off the adult son.

[wolfking]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

I think the fact that her step father doesn't let your son sleep there is a perfect door for you to open with regards to your house.

Perhaps you could tell them that you have tried to make it work and accommodate them, but that unless they move in together, the sleepovers are finished. And you could be honest that it is causing too much stress with the rest of the family. The house simply isn't big enough. Your other kids deserve to live in a peaceful atmosphere, and you are in control of that. Don't let them down by worrying about pissing off the adult son.

Or your wife.

[Glasser]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

Last night actually. She agrees with me but she's afraid to upset him while he's going to school and work at the same time. Him leaving would create a financial burden to him because her anxiety cant deal with it which stresses him out even more. Its a full on codependent relationship and its rocking the ship. Btw.... She's 23, babysits a few days a month and that's it. She told me her dream is to be a stay at home mom, yes, you read that right. 

[wolfking]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

Last night actually. She agrees with me but she's afraid to upset him while he's going to school and work at the same time. Him leaving would create a financial burden to him because her anxiety cant deal with it which stresses him out even more. Its a full on codependent relationship and its rocking the ship. Btw.... She's 23, babysits a few days a month and that's it. She told me her dream is to be a stay at home mom, yes, you read that right. 

He's 24 mate, sometimes they have to learn the hard way, no?  If he leaves, it's his choice and he will have to deal with the ramifications.  Your house, your rules.

[Glasser]

Truth! But my wife doesn't want to roll those dice. 

[Glasser]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

I think the fact that her step father doesn't let your son sleep there is a perfect door for you to open with regards to your house.

Perhaps you could tell them that you have tried to make it work and accommodate them, but that unless they move in together, the sleepovers are finished. And you could be honest that it is causing too much stress with the rest of the family. The house simply isn't big enough. Your other kids deserve to live in a peaceful atmosphere, and you are in control of that. Don't let them down by worrying about pissing off the adult son.

It has been discussed that he's not allowed there and he says he doesn't want to be there anyway, I can't win.

[wolfking]

Tough mate.  Easy for us to all have our opinions though I guess.  Tim makes a good point about the opening of it not being allowed the other way around.

[cramx3]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

I think the fact that her step father doesn't let your son sleep there is a perfect door for you to open with regards to your house.

Perhaps you could tell them that you have tried to make it work and accommodate them, but that unless they move in together, the sleepovers are finished. And you could be honest that it is causing too much stress with the rest of the family. The house simply isn't big enough. Your other kids deserve to live in a peaceful atmosphere, and you are in control of that. Don't let them down by worrying about pissing off the adult son.

Great point.  I think Glasser really needs to do something. The impact is larger than upsetting one person in the house when the rest of the house suffers from an unwanted guest.  And damn, her parents won't allow the opposite, that says something to me.

[KevShmev]

Agreed. 

Glasser, it sounds like some tough love is in order.  Letting your son's girlfriend stay there and upset the entire household is not something that should be tolerated.  If it upsets your son, too bad. He should not be putting that burden on you and your family.