While it should be able to get resolved with a mature conversation, I see both sides of the coin. If you have kids and you have stuff going on, that comes first of course, but it can be a bit oft-putting to others at times. Case in point: in 2009, my grandma turned 100 and a big shindig was thrown for her. There are 20 grandkids on that side of the family (I was the 17th born) and 19 of us were there. One cousin, who rarely came to family events and has since passed, even came, but there was one cousin who didn't come because one of his kids had a soccer game, and I was like WTF? This is Grandma's 100th and you are missing it because of a freaking soccer game?? There are some cool pics from the event as well, and it always looks a little strange to see that one pic of Grandma with 19 of her grandkids (with 1 missing).
I get it...totally. Something like a 100th B-Day party I'd miss a game for sure. But when my wife and I mention (3) different days/options as to when we could reschedule without it affecting anything and the big push back is 'we always do it on this day'.....I start to get a bit peeved.
Since that post earlier it's been decided that we are going to get together 'early' on the 20th. Which is fine and dandy and all, but my one sons 4:10 game is 1 hour and 20 minutes away from my grandfathers (Kev...you'll know this...my grandpa lives in St. Clair and the game is at the Mills in Hazelwood) So....in order to get my son to his game on time (on time being the hour before according to team rules) I will have to leave at 2:00 that day. That's still gonna tick off some folks.
Anyway.....yipee!!!
Gary, just asking, and totally not taking sides. I find this line of posts actually really interesting.
What would be the harm in your son skipping the game? Are you trying to instill that his team is depending on him, and that if commits to something he stick to it?
Is it possible for your wife to take him, and you stay behind with your other sons at the get together?
No problem with the questions Tim. As far as skipping.....aside from it costing $900 a kid to play roughly 25-30 games (depending on tournament games played) which makes every game pretty ‘valuable’.....it is also the commitment to his team. It’s not really an option to skip as far as I’m concerned.
We’ve basically worked it out to where I’m just gonna leave early with him. The others will stay behind and we will meet up later.
Just my opinion here, but....
I do not share you putting sports above family. I am in a similar position as you except it is my two girls playing travel softball. Very expensive and tons of time commitments.
I firmly instill the sense of commitment to the team in my girls, and that it is a responsibility to be taken seriously.
That being said......my girls, and likely your boys, are NOT professional athletes. This is Rec/Travel sports for KIDS. And they play so many games during the year, I make sure we put the once a year gatherings on a higher priority. Unless this is a championship game, the once a year Family holiday takes priority.
The kids will never remember some regular season game they missed, but they (and you) will remember the Family gatherings....and god forbid you start losing the opportunities with some Family as they pass away.
Now I am also in your position where I have some Family that are, lets say, difficult. Regardless, it is still family. What is really so important about the game that you would miss this gathering? Commitment to Family is just as, if not more important that to a team that really has little importance in the grand scheme of things.
Now if you are going to Hockey as an excuse because you cant stand your Family, then carry on! LOL JK
Again, JMO.