What pissed you off today?

[Ben_Jamin]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

Last night actually. She agrees with me but she's afraid to upset him while he's going to school and work at the same time. Him leaving would create a financial burden to him because her anxiety cant deal with it which stresses him out even more. Its a full on codependent relationship and its rocking the ship. Btw.... She's 23, babysits a few days a month and that's it. She told me her dream is to be a stay at home mom, yes, you read that right. 

I'll put in blunt terms. He's an Adult. And like I tell my mother, even the mother bird ends up kicking her Adult bird out of the nest. If his situation with his girlfriend is causing issues, you have every right to kick her out. If he doesn't like it, well that's up to him to realize and see why.

That's part of relationships as well, and why I also believe that you are not just dating the person, you are also dating the family, because you are both integrating into different families. Is he also aware of why he isn't allowed at her house either? Why a potential father in law won't allow both of them to stay at his house? Is it because of your son or his daughter doing the same shit she is doing at your house now?

[wolfking]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

Last night actually. She agrees with me but she's afraid to upset him while he's going to school and work at the same time. Him leaving would create a financial burden to him because her anxiety cant deal with it which stresses him out even more. Its a full on codependent relationship and its rocking the ship. Btw.... She's 23, babysits a few days a month and that's it. She told me her dream is to be a stay at home mom, yes, you read that right. 

I'll put in blunt terms. He's an Adult. And like I tell my mother, even the mother bird ends up kicking her Adult bird out of the nest. If his situation with his girlfriend is causing issues, you have every right to kick her out. If he doesn't like it, well that's up to him to realize and see why.

That's part of relationships as well, and why I also believe that you are not just dating the person, you are also dating the family, because you are both integrating into different families. Is he also aware of why he isn't allowed at her house either? Why a potential father in law won't allow both of them to stay at his house? Is it because of your son or his daughter doing the same shit she is doing at your house now?

I'd rather not have to go through the daughter if I'd rather just sleep with the mother.  No time for all that.

[bl5150]

You want to know what pisses me the fuck off?  DISRESPECT. My 24 year old sons girlfriend who basically does nothing all day every day essentially lives in my house and it makes me want to vomit. She's here 5 days a week. My son is in health care and works 2 overnight shifts a week, for now, and she just lays in his bed all fucking day and then is awake all night consuming food and alcohol. I have a wife and three kids in a pretty small home and having her here is not ok. She has a big home barely 5 minutes from here. My wife doesn't want to upset my son so she tolerates it. I don't understand, is it only me? 

Kick the bitch out man, simple.

 

Love it.   If you ever set up Kade's Kounselling service, make sure you charge per appointment and not by the hour

[Ben_Jamin]

I don't have kids so my comments are invalid, but I would be damned in simply just trying to not upset my 24 year old son while his loser girlfriend thinks it's quite alright to stay in my house whenever she pleases and mooch my money and food and not lift a fucking finger.  Fuck that.  I can see it would be tricky from the Mother's perspective.

She does nothing but consume and demand. I'm hoping one day my son will wake up. She takes advantage of him and my wife's good nature which makes me look like the "mean" guy. Ironically, my son is not allowed to sleep there at all because her step father won't have it, which I agree with, but its ok that I eat all the shit. So fucking done with this shit. And sadly my other boys can't stand her which only creates stress. 

You've obviously tried talking this through with your wife to try and get her to see reason?

Last night actually. She agrees with me but she's afraid to upset him while he's going to school and work at the same time. Him leaving would create a financial burden to him because her anxiety cant deal with it which stresses him out even more. Its a full on codependent relationship and its rocking the ship. Btw.... She's 23, babysits a few days a month and that's it. She told me her dream is to be a stay at home mom, yes, you read that right. 

I'll put in blunt terms. He's an Adult. And like I tell my mother, even the mother bird ends up kicking her Adult bird out of the nest. If his situation with his girlfriend is causing issues, you have every right to kick her out. If he doesn't like it, well that's up to him to realize and see why.

That's part of relationships as well, and why I also believe that you are not just dating the person, you are also dating the family, because you are both integrating into different families. Is he also aware of why he isn't allowed at her house either? Why a potential father in law won't allow both of them to stay at his house? Is it because of your son or his daughter doing the same shit she is doing at your house now?

I'd rather not have to go through the daughter if I'd rather just sleep with the mother.  No time for all that.

 

[wolfking]

You want to know what pisses me the fuck off?  DISRESPECT. My 24 year old sons girlfriend who basically does nothing all day every day essentially lives in my house and it makes me want to vomit. She's here 5 days a week. My son is in health care and works 2 overnight shifts a week, for now, and she just lays in his bed all fucking day and then is awake all night consuming food and alcohol. I have a wife and three kids in a pretty small home and having her here is not ok. She has a big home barely 5 minutes from here. My wife doesn't want to upset my son so she tolerates it. I don't understand, is it only me? 

Kick the bitch out man, simple.

 

Love it.   If you ever set up Kade's Kounselling service, make sure you charge per appointment and not by the hour

Fuck me, that has a nice ring to it hey!   

2 minute appointments and your problems solved, guaranteed or your money back.

[King Postwhore]

We can tell you to Fuck off Mate in 2 minutes!

[Stadler]

Agreed. 

Glasser, it sounds like some tough love is in order.  Letting your son's girlfriend stay there and upset the entire household is not something that should be tolerated.  If it upsets your son, too bad. He should not be putting that burden on you and your family.

I'm on this train as well.  Take it from someone who walked on eggshells for almost a decade, and am watching it happen with TWO of my kids... there's no upside to this.  Sorry to be blunt:  your wife is not helping by "not upsetting the apple cart".  It's just making the inevitable crash of the apple cart that much worse when it finally (did I say "inevitable"?) happens. 

I'd even put a fiver that there's a possibility - deep down - you'd be doing your son a solid. Any chance he's actually waiting for you to make the first move?

[Stadler]

Google Madison Brooks.   I'm not angry that these kids will likely walk from this.  I'm not angry that the driver will likely not be charged.  I don't have the information to decide whether this is a crime or not.   I'm angry because this was EMMINENTLY avoidable.  Those people that left her at the bar to find a ride ought to be haunted for the rest of their natural lives.   My friends are (or can be) dicks, but there's an unwritten rule: NEVER leave a man behind.   Granted, we've done a lot of traveling together, so we're used to that sort of thing, but why was this girl alone? 

[TAC]

Google Madison Brooks.   I'm not angry that these kids will likely walk from this.  I'm not angry that the driver will likely not be charged.  I don't have the information to decide whether this is a crime or not.   I'm angry because this was EMMINENTLY avoidable.  Those people that left her at the bar to find a ride ought to be haunted for the rest of their natural lives.   My friends are (or can be) dicks, but there's an unwritten rule: NEVER leave a man behind.   Granted, we've done a lot of traveling together, so we're used to that sort of thing, but why was this girl alone?

And why was so allowed to get so trashed at the bar?

[Stadler]

Google Madison Brooks.   I'm not angry that these kids will likely walk from this.  I'm not angry that the driver will likely not be charged.  I don't have the information to decide whether this is a crime or not.   I'm angry because this was EMMINENTLY avoidable.  Those people that left her at the bar to find a ride ought to be haunted for the rest of their natural lives.   My friends are (or can be) dicks, but there's an unwritten rule: NEVER leave a man behind.   Granted, we've done a lot of traveling together, so we're used to that sort of thing, but why was this girl alone?

And why was so allowed to get so trashed at the bar?

Exactly.  Man, just so sad. 

[jingle.boy]

Google Madison Brooks.   I'm not angry that these kids will likely walk from this.  I'm not angry that the driver will likely not be charged.  I don't have the information to decide whether this is a crime or not.   I'm angry because this was EMMINENTLY avoidable.  Those people that left her at the bar to find a ride ought to be haunted for the rest of their natural lives.   My friends are (or can be) dicks, but there's an unwritten rule: NEVER leave a man behind.   Granted, we've done a lot of traveling together, so we're used to that sort of thing, but why was this girl alone?

That's fucking frightening.  Having a 22year old daughter, and thinking this is something that happens to people the age (or younger) of jingle.kids makes me shiver.  So sad and tragic for the entire family.  I simply couldn't imagine.

[wolfking]

Jesus, that's just fucked up.

[Glasser]

Agreed. 

Glasser, it sounds like some tough love is in order.  Letting your son's girlfriend stay there and upset the entire household is not something that should be tolerated.  If it upsets your son, too bad. He should not be putting that burden on you and your family.

I'm on this train as well.  Take it from someone who walked on eggshells for almost a decade, and am watching it happen with TWO of my kids... there's no upside to this.  Sorry to be blunt:  your wife is not helping by "not upsetting the apple cart".  It's just making the inevitable crash of the apple cart that much worse when it finally (did I say "inevitable"?) happens. 

I'd even put a fiver that there's a possibility - deep down - you'd be doing your son a solid. Any chance he's actually waiting for you to make the first move?

No, he gets extremely defensive when I hint at it. I don't understand why hes still in the relationship, even his friends are baffled as she's only " friendly" when she's drinking. Full on trainwreck. In 2017 he would not go on a family vacation unless she was able to go, he actually cried on my shoulder saying she would torment him the entire trip by phone if he went because her anxiety is so bad. We were staying with my cousin and her family in Cape Cod so I refused to ask her to let her come, we are 5 as it is. I personally think he's afraid on some level as she truly suffers with many emotional issues. Her family is not instrumental in her life as her own mother is a train wreck as well. It all just sucks.

[wolfking]

Agreed. 

Glasser, it sounds like some tough love is in order.  Letting your son's girlfriend stay there and upset the entire household is not something that should be tolerated.  If it upsets your son, too bad. He should not be putting that burden on you and your family.

I'm on this train as well.  Take it from someone who walked on eggshells for almost a decade, and am watching it happen with TWO of my kids... there's no upside to this.  Sorry to be blunt:  your wife is not helping by "not upsetting the apple cart".  It's just making the inevitable crash of the apple cart that much worse when it finally (did I say "inevitable"?) happens. 

I'd even put a fiver that there's a possibility - deep down - you'd be doing your son a solid. Any chance he's actually waiting for you to make the first move?

No, he gets extremely defensive when I hint at it. I don't understand why hes still in the relationship, even his friends are baffled as she's only " friendly" when she's drinking. Full on trainwreck. In 2017 he would not go on a family vacation unless she was able to go, he actually cried on my shoulder saying she would torment him the entire trip by phone if he went because her anxiety is so bad. We were staying with my cousin and her family in Cape Cod so I refused to ask her to let her come, we are 5 as it is. I personally think he's afraid on some level as she truly suffers with many emotional issues. Her family is not instrumental in her life as her own mother is a train wreck as well. It all just sucks.

WTF?!  Man, Bill is right, you kicking her out is definitely doing your boy a favour.  If he's crying on your shoulder deep down he knows this relationship is toxic.  You're just enabling it more by letting her do what she's doing man.

[TAC]

Agreed. 

Glasser, it sounds like some tough love is in order.  Letting your son's girlfriend stay there and upset the entire household is not something that should be tolerated.  If it upsets your son, too bad. He should not be putting that burden on you and your family.

I'm on this train as well.  Take it from someone who walked on eggshells for almost a decade, and am watching it happen with TWO of my kids... there's no upside to this.  Sorry to be blunt:  your wife is not helping by "not upsetting the apple cart".  It's just making the inevitable crash of the apple cart that much worse when it finally (did I say "inevitable"?) happens. 

I'd even put a fiver that there's a possibility - deep down - you'd be doing your son a solid. Any chance he's actually waiting for you to make the first move?

No, he gets extremely defensive when I hint at it. I don't understand why hes still in the relationship, even his friends are baffled as she's only " friendly" when she's drinking. Full on trainwreck. In 2017 he would not go on a family vacation unless she was able to go, he actually cried on my shoulder saying she would torment him the entire trip by phone if he went because her anxiety is so bad. We were staying with my cousin and her family in Cape Cod so I refused to ask her to let her come, we are 5 as it is. I personally think he's afraid on some level as she truly suffers with many emotional issues. Her family is not instrumental in her life as her own mother is a train wreck as well. It all just sucks.

WTF?!  Man, Bill is right, you kicking her out is definitely doing your boy a favour.  If he's crying on your shoulder deep down he knows this relationship is toxic.  You're just enabling it more by letting her do what she's doing man.

It's easy to say from here Tom, but I kind of agree with this. Your son needs to be deprogrammed, and if he's pissed at you, even for a year, it's the right thing to do. He WILL get over it.
If you let this go, your other kids may not, and ultimately, they may end up holding that against YOU.

[cramx3]

This girl keeps coming off as worse and worse the more you talk about her.  When your family and your son's friends all don't like her, when her own family doesn't want to do what you allow with sleepovers, when this girl drinks a lot and contributes nothing, it's all adding up that your son is likely in a toxic relationship and can't see for himself how bad this is. There's little to no doubt that the boat is going to be rocked and your wife's wishes won't be granted, but it seems necessary to lay the firm ground rules regarding your house. I can't see a scenario where this magically works out without some sort of intervention regardless.

[Glasser]

 You're all right on this. My personal feeling is if he does move out with her this will all come to a head when he sees what its like everyday, just the two of them. She controls even more than I'm admitting. He works in healthcare and is also a volunteer EMT and there are female co-workers and staff and they have to communicate... One of his friends told me that if ANY female co-worker reaches out to him and he doesn't tell her she totally freaks out on him. My son lets it happen, maybe it will implode on its own. I'm sorry I'm painting her as a monster, she's just very insecure and manipulative and yes it is a toxic relationship that I will no longer allow under my roof.

[TAC]

You're all right on this. My personal feeling is if he does move out with her this will all come to a head when he sees what its like everyday, just the two of them. She controls even more than I'm admitting. He works in healthcare and is also a volunteer EMT and there are female co-workers and staff and they have to communicate... One of his friends told me that if ANY female co-worker reaches out to him and he doesn't tell her she totally freaks out on him. My son lets it happen, maybe it will implode on its own. I'm sorry I'm painting her as a monster, she's just very insecure and manipulative and yes it is a toxic relationship that I will no longer allow under my roof.

Good luck Tom.

[Ben_Jamin]

How long have they been together?

[Glasser]

How long have they been together?

6 years. My son is 24 and she is 23.

[wolfking]

Good luck Tom.  I hope our thoughts have been a help and comfort.

[jingle.boy]

Best of luck dude.  But yeah, what you've described is NOT a healthy relationship - for your son, and the blast radius is impacting the rest of your family.  It's probably going to be a rough ride, but doing nothing is one of the worst things you and your wife could/should be doing.

[lordxizor]

My brother-in-law was in a relationship with a manipulative, OCD, compulsive liar in his late teens. Friends and family all told him she was a mess. She got pregnant (we suspect on purpose, but no way to know for sure) so he stayed with her. They eventually got married and had three kids total. It's mostly been a complete mess and divorce has been thrown around a couple times by him and she managed to convince him to stay. She finally filed for divorce last year and it seems like it'll stick this time since she initiated, but the whole thing reeks with her lies and manipulation (though BIL is not completely innocent). Nearly 20 years of his life wasted on this woman. He has three kids who are great, but are also messed up by her. It's only going to get uglier as the divorce proceeds.

All this to say... it sounds very much like your son needs to get out of this relationship ASAP. I think asking questions of your son sometime when she's not around might help. He needs to make the decision to end it, but you can help steer him. "Are you happy with her?" "Is this the kind of life you want?" "Can you see yourself starting a family with her?" Etc. Setting limits on how many nights a week she spends at your home and that she can't be there if he's not are perfectly reasonable compromises that don't involve straight kicking her out.

[jingle.boy]

All this to say... it sounds very much like your son needs to get out of this relationship ASAP. I think asking questions of your son sometime when she's not around might help. He needs to make the decision to end it, but you can help steer him. "Are you happy with her?" "Is this the kind of life you want?" "Can you see yourself starting a family with her?" Etc. Setting limits on how many nights a week she spends at your home and that she can't be there if he's not are perfectly reasonable compromises that don't involve straight kicking her out.

Very important point here.  You have to let him have your way.

[Glasser]

Thanks for the great input and support, It will not go to waste. I will let you all know when and which way the hammer falls.

[gmillerdrake]

Wasn’t today but last night……paid that freaking IRS tab off last night.       Tough pill to swallow.

[faizoff]

Wasn’t today but last night……paid that freaking IRS tab off last night.       Tough pill to swallow.

Or maybe that's your birthday gift to yourself 

[jingle.boy]

Wasn’t today but last night……paid that freaking IRS tab off last night.       Tough pill to swallow.

Or maybe that's your birthday gift to yourself 

Being pissed off??   

[faizoff]

Wasn’t today but last night……paid that freaking IRS tab off last night.       Tough pill to swallow.

Or maybe that's your birthday gift to yourself 

Being pissed off??   

Getting the IRS off your back

[lonestar]

My meat delivery is now 5 hours late, new guy on the route who I guess is lost as fuck. I got everything else done, and am ready to go except I need to prep stocks and make a soup, about two hours work at least, and I'm just sitting with my thumb up my ass waiting for this fucker to show up. (don't worry, I'll wash the thumb before making said soup)


 

[cramx3]

Sucks, especially for a friday to be stuck waiting to be able to work.

[Adami]

My meat delivery is now 5 hours late, new guy on the route who I guess is lost as fuck. I got everything else done, and am ready to go except I need to prep stocks and make a soup, about two hours work at least, and I'm just sitting with my thumb up my ass waiting for this fucker to show up. (don't worry, I'll wash the thumb before making said soup)


 

Oh no...

[lonestar]

My meat delivery is now 5 hours late, new guy on the route who I guess is lost as fuck. I got everything else done, and am ready to go except I need to prep stocks and make a soup, about two hours work at least, and I'm just sitting with my thumb up my ass waiting for this fucker to show up. (don't worry, I'll wash the thumb before making said soup)


 

Oh no...

And you wonder why we hate you all...

[lonestar]

Update...Meat finally arrived, just bumped out prep for a chicken stock, a beef stock, and made a chicken noodle soup in 35 minutes. Felt like I just crushed an episode of Iron Chef...

[TAC]

Update...Meat finally arrived, just bumped out prep for a chicken stock, a beef stock, and made a chicken noodle soup in 35 minutes. Felt like I just crushed an episode of Iron Chef...