I really appreciate all of your support, it has meant a lot.
I can be at peace with this. In our last conversation, it felt like she finally saw me as who I actually am (and wanted to know more about who I actually am, and became), rather than how I fit into a certain role. There is peace and closure in that, but also profound loss for what could have been, and for what will never be.
Sometime last year, I stumbled upon a definition of forgiveness that was something like "You are released of all obligations to me, and I am released of all obligations to you", and whatever is (or isn't) in the future is built from there. That is the spot I got to, and was starting to build at least a little something. I had been hoping to build a little more. But I have the closure of knowing that we finally saw each other as we are.
[/end therapy session]