DTF Chat Thread v.BrexitMeansBrexit

[Ben_Jamin]

I’ve been following that. And I’ve seen a lot of mean spirited memes about it. I know it’s fun to laugh at the stupidity of rich people, but man I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone.

Me either. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But also, if Humans ignore reality thinking we can conquer and have control of this world by doing things like this. It's hard to feel sorry because of Ego, and our human desire. But then it makes it harder when all these warnings were ignored because bof Ego and Human desire and passion to explore.

Coincidentally, this is what A View From The Top of The World is about. That middle section is entirely about humans exploring the depths of the ocean. "Take a chance you may die."

[Jamesman42]

Holy cow, I was looking back at some old posts from 2011-2012 that I made. I was nuts back then.

[King Postwhore]

Slightly nuts, James. Lol

[Jamesman42]

I think I was in the weirdest and possibly lowest parts of my adult life. I remember not liking much about myself at all and I let that come out as a deluge of whatever I could do to be reckless and weird.

I am still a weird guy and probably always will be, but I am much more in tune with who I "should be", and am generally happier these days.

Sorry mod team

[King Postwhore]

I did that 2 years ago. I was miserable with my weight.

[Jamesman42]

I did that 2 years ago. I was miserable with my weight.

I am there right now. I need to drop some serious weight but I am stressed all the time.

[King Postwhore]

I was too. I couldn't walk into work without stopping. It was a 10 minute walk to my office. Now, it's a breeze. Still have the stress though. Lol

[jingle.boy]

Holy cow, I was looking back at some old posts from 2011-2012 that I made. I was nuts back then.

Yes, you were.  Parenthood wisens up even the douchiest of douches.  Not that you were a complete douche.

Some pieces were missing.   

[Jamesman42]

Heh.

There were some very funny post in there as well. DTF was quite the site to be on back then. It's much mellower nowadays. Also a lot less people are here, it seems?

[King Postwhore]

Definitely. Still, the core of great people are still here.

[Cool Chris]

...I am much more in tune with who I "should be", and am generally happier these days.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My life isn't perfect, I am not fully happy, but I feel more like "me" than I have ever felt as an adult, if that makes any sense.

[Jamesman42]

Definitely. I am in my groove with lots of room for improvement.

[King Postwhore]

I try to be as good as a person as I can to everyone I come in contact with.  I just want all to get along. I think that stems with being a boss and dealing with conflicts all the time.

[Jamesman42]

Same. At the same time, I am also adjusting to what I believe about the world and talking about it, trying to be less afraid to stand my ground.

[King Postwhore]

I've gotten less standoffish.  For me in my 50's is different for those in their 30's with children. I know your concerns. I'm worried that  o on can compromise or at least agree to disagree.   

Everyone on every side feels the need to push their beliefs on others and now there's quite a pushback. 

So for me in my 50's. I'm tired of the fight. Sad to say.

[millahh]

Morning, gang. Been an interesting few days. A week ago, my mom went into the doctor (then hospital) comparing of fatigue and shortness of breath. Fast-forward to Friday morning, she's getting air-lifted from Erie to Pittsburgh, and it being unlikely that she'll even make it through the trip. But, she stabilized, she is getting a double-bypass and a value replacement this morning. And I've been doing back-and forth of NJ to Pittsburgh...

My family relationships are... complicated, but everybody seemed able to put aside their bullshit.

[Lonk]

Sorry to hear that Millahh, hoping she continues to recover and everything goes well

[King Postwhore]

Thoughts are with your mom and your family.  Thinking nothing but good thoughts.

[Stadler]

Morning, gang. Been an interesting few days. A week ago, my mom went into the doctor (then hospital) comparing of fatigue and shortness of breath. Fast-forward to Friday morning, she's getting air-lifted from Erie to Pittsburgh, and it being unlikely that she'll even make it through the trip. But, she stabilized, she is getting a double-bypass and a value replacement this morning. And I've been doing back-and forth of NJ to Pittsburgh...

My family relationships are... complicated, but everybody seemed able to put aside their bullshit.

Thinking about you, buddy.   Fingers crossed, and let us know how it goes. 

[Stadler]

I've gotten less standoffish.  For me in my 50's is different for those in their 30's with children. I know your concerns. I'm worried that  o on can compromise or at least agree to disagree.   

Everyone on every side feels the need to push their beliefs on others and now there's quite a pushback. 

So for me in my 50's. I'm tired of the fight. Sad to say.

That's me, but for me it wasn't kids, really.  It was a combination of things.   I've just seen too many people, and met too many people and experienced too many things to maintain this idea that I AM RIGHT and YOU ARE WRONG and there's nothing more to be said.   I stand my ground; I will argue my point with anyone at any time, but I don't consider you disagreeing with me to be a character flaw, or that because you disagree you are a lesser person than I am.   

It's an odd thing to meet someone, talk with them, and they see the world COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than you do.  I don't mean "somewhat different", like "I am a foodie and hate sports and you couldn't care less about food but live or die on the Mets". That's a minor difference.  I mean COMPLETELY different, as in, "I don't care if I live or die" or "there is nothing sacred about life, and the taking of a life is no big deal".   Fundamental questions of our existence kind of different.  Whether I like their position or not, they are a human, entitled to all the same benefits, rights and privileges I am and we have to coexist.   It's really that simple.

[cramx3]

Morning, gang. Been an interesting few days. A week ago, my mom went into the doctor (then hospital) comparing of fatigue and shortness of breath. Fast-forward to Friday morning, she's getting air-lifted from Erie to Pittsburgh, and it being unlikely that she'll even make it through the trip. But, she stabilized, she is getting a double-bypass and a value replacement this morning. And I've been doing back-and forth of NJ to Pittsburgh...

My family relationships are... complicated, but everybody seemed able to put aside their bullshit.

oh damn that is rough, hoping things stay stable and she recovers.

[Jamesman42]

I've gotten less standoffish.  For me in my 50's is different for those in their 30's with children. I know your concerns. I'm worried that  o on can compromise or at least agree to disagree.   

I am trying to get there. I do get along with people IRL. Online is where there are just huge shitstorms about everything, and it's very easy to get caught up in it.

@millahh good to see you buddy, sorry to hear about your recent events

[King Postwhore]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks. 

[hefdaddy42]

Sorry mod team

It's OK.

Morning, gang. Been an interesting few days. A week ago, my mom went into the doctor (then hospital) comparing of fatigue and shortness of breath. Fast-forward to Friday morning, she's getting air-lifted from Erie to Pittsburgh, and it being unlikely that she'll even make it through the trip. But, she stabilized, she is getting a double-bypass and a value replacement this morning. And I've been doing back-and forth of NJ to Pittsburgh...

My family relationships are... complicated, but everybody seemed able to put aside their bullshit.

Yikes!  Sorry to hear about that, millahh.  Been in similar situations.

I will argue my point with anyone at any time, but I don't consider you disagreeing with me to be a character flaw, or that because you disagree you are a lesser person than I am.   

I'm not quite there yet lol

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks.

Definitely food for thought, King.  The wife and I are having similar conversations now.

[Jamesman42]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks. 

It worries me to see people retire and they seem to change and sometimes wilt into a version of themselves that seems unfulfilled, and then they get really sick or die. My wife thinks and plans a lot for our future, which I think is smart for our kids and us, but I think we also need to focus on living a good life now, too.

[KevShmev]

Morning, gang. Been an interesting few days. A week ago, my mom went into the doctor (then hospital) comparing of fatigue and shortness of breath. Fast-forward to Friday morning, she's getting air-lifted from Erie to Pittsburgh, and it being unlikely that she'll even make it through the trip. But, she stabilized, she is getting a double-bypass and a value replacement this morning. And I've been doing back-and forth of NJ to Pittsburgh...

My family relationships are... complicated, but everybody seemed able to put aside their bullshit.

Dang, sorry to hear this.  Thoughts are with you and your family.

[KevShmev]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks.

I hear this.  I get strange looks from people when I say, "give me 15 more years and I'm good," but given that I have less than a month left in my 40s, gimme till my mid to late 60s and then peace out. I don't want to hang on too long.

[jingle.boy]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks.

It's stories like this that I've heard a few times to many over the past few years (especially because of COVID) that is the reason mrs.jingle and I dropped a little over 2-large on exterior and interior renovations in the last 12 months.  I don't really care as much about the debt (we're not going unreasonably far into debt on this), as I do in enjoying the life we have to live.  There's no use in letting the capital I have in my home to just sit there unused, afaic.

4 more days until the inside renos are completed.  Then we've got a handful of punch-list items to do ourselves over the next few weeks, and it'll be like a whole new house.

[cramx3]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks.

Oh for sure.  YOLO, as stupid and cliche as that sounds, but it's the only truth (unless re-incarnation is a thing)

[Stadler]

Lately, since seeing my parents work so hard to build up a retirement nest egg only to not enjoy it together has changed my perspective on work of late.  Mom passed away at 64, 8 months after retiring.  Dad's MS progressed fast after mom passed away.  He had all that money and was stuck at home.  I want to enjoy more of life.  It has weighed on my brother and I a lot in conversations the last few weeks.

It's stories like this that I've heard a few times to many over the past few years (especially because of COVID) that is the reason mrs.jingle and I dropped a little over 2-large on exterior and interior renovations in the last 12 months.  I don't really care as much about the debt (we're not going unreasonably far into debt on this), as I do in enjoying the life we have to live.  There's no use in letting the capital I have in my home to just sit there unused, afaic.

4 more days until the inside renos are completed.  Then we've got a handful of punch-list items to do ourselves over the next few weeks, and it'll be like a whole new house.

That at least might have some return on investment.  Dropping two large on renovations that you might recoup in ten years when you need it is smart; dropping two large on a huge bag of coke because YOLO! is not. 

[millahh]

Thanks for the support, all.

Surgery now likely for Thursday, been issues with a potential heparin allergy, and a possible underlying infection. By Thursday, it still have been 10 days bedridden with wires and tubes. Kind of awful.

There are complicated feelings around all of this, estrangement with her only ever a few months ago, and things were definitely awkward/strained. When I was driving the six hours on Friday the get there, I spent the first half of it thinking not about my own loss (there wasn't much there to lose, honestly), but about Ivy not being able to spend at least a little more time with her, and about what could have been (if my mother hadn't made so many selfish choices). I'm not forcing myself to make sense of any of it or make myself feel the way I "should", I'm just experiencing all of it.

[El Barto]

Thanks for the support, all.

Surgery now likely for Thursday, been issues with a potential heparin allergy, and a possible underlying infection. By Thursday, it still have been 10 days bedridden with wires and tubes. Kind of awful.

There are complicated feelings around all of this, estrangement with her only ever a few months ago, and things were definitely awkward/strained. When I was driving the six hours on Friday the get there, I spent the first half of it thinking not about my own loss (there wasn't much there to lose, honestly), but about Ivy not being able to spend at least a little more time with her, and about what could have been (if my mother hadn't made so many selfish choices). I'm not forcing myself to make sense of any of it or make myself feel the way I "should", I'm just experiencing all of it.

Sounds like you're dealing with it exactly as I'd expect you would. Hope everything works out for the best, Doc Millahh.

[millahh]

Surgery successful, though a bit hairy....

[millahh]

She passed away overnight.

[Stadler]

She passed away overnight.

Even though you said you had your issues, you have my deepest condolences.   I'm so sorry.   We're building quite the fucking network of people in a similar situation, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we're here for you in whatever way you need.  It's such a singular thing, grief, but it doesn't mean you have to go it alone.

My heart is with you.