Author Topic: DTF Chat Thread v.BrexitMeansBrexit (Read 289175 times)

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4200 on:** September 28, 2022, 04:29:59 PM »

Tim I know, still seeps in though.

One more test tomorrow then wait for results.

Thanks Victor.

Thank you Adami. I feel rotten right now.

Ben_Jamin · « **Reply #4201 on:** September 28, 2022, 04:40:17 PM »

King...Don't beat yourself up over that employees OD. You did everything you could by offering him the help. It was up to him to need that help. Unfortunately his situation seemed to have just kept escalating to that point. It's sad but, we as humans can not save every human being, sometimes it's up to the person as a human being to desire that help and take that hand, it's not easy as well.

Hope your tests results go good...

TAC · « **Reply #4202 on:** September 28, 2022, 04:45:51 PM »

Joe, even if you didn't offer help, it's still on him. But you did, so you did right.
You have way more worthwhile causes in your life.

I mean, if it'll make you feel better, give the cat a swift kick across the room.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4203 on:** September 28, 2022, 05:28:01 PM »

Thanks Ben.

Tim, I know but my thoughts have wandered. And I love my kitty. No way.

Adami · « **Reply #4204 on:** September 28, 2022, 05:30:05 PM »

Joe, I'm not going to tell you to not feel the way you feel. You're feeling that way because of how great of a person you are.

I can say that there's little as difficult as doing everything you can to help someone and still see them self destruct. It feels like there was just SOMETHING more, that if we had done it, would have saved them. But there isn't. There wasn't. A person will only accept the help they're ready to accept. I'm so sorry that his not being ready resulted in his death and his future child never knowing their father. That guilt your feeling is a constant reminder to keep trying. Because once you stop, once you give up on people, the world loses something special. It's a hell of a struggle to try to help people and only succeed some of the time. Those times they can't be helped is like a dagger in our hearts.

I'm so sorry man. I really am.

Also never kick a damn cat. But feel free to kick whatever cat is backwards.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4205 on:** September 28, 2022, 05:39:43 PM »

I'll picture Tim as a cat.

Thank you Adami. I just care about my employees. It's just a gut punch right now. I've got a guys night at a camp at a lake. The guys will cheer me up too.

TAC · « **Reply #4206 on:** September 28, 2022, 05:46:12 PM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 05:39:43 PM

I've got a guys night at a camp at a lake. The guys will cheer me up too.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4207 on:** September 28, 2022, 05:59:35 PM »

Nope. It's a house. I have my own bed. Neighbors are awesome. They'll party with us too.

Adami · « **Reply #4208 on:** September 28, 2022, 06:55:13 PM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 05:59:35 PM

Nope. It's a house. I have my own bed. Neighbors are awesome. They'll party with us too.

Well if you hear a banjo, run.

TAC · « **Reply #4209 on:** September 28, 2022, 07:01:02 PM »

Quote from: Adami on September 28, 2022, 06:55:13 PM

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 05:59:35 PM
Nope. It's a house. I have my own bed. Neighbors are awesome. They'll party with us too.

Well if you hear a banjo, run.

You mean, other than Joe's?

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4210 on:** September 28, 2022, 07:06:24 PM »

They'd catch me. Lol

KevShmev · « **Reply #4211 on:** September 28, 2022, 09:04:29 PM »

Damn, Joe, that sucks. Like others have said, you can't beat yourself up over it as it sounds like you did everything you could, but I get it; I am sure I would feel the same way you do.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4212 on:** September 29, 2022, 05:10:54 AM »

Thank you Kev. I slept long and hard last night. Today after my test, I talk to 2 shifts about it.

ReaperKK · « **Reply #4213 on:** September 29, 2022, 06:33:35 AM »

I'm really sorry Joe. You tried to do more for him than any employer I've personally worked for. I think that ultimately it falls on the individual to take steps to better themselves and their life. You tried to do as much as you could. Sad story all around.

Podaar · « **Reply #4214 on:** September 29, 2022, 06:44:01 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 29, 2022, 05:10:54 AM

Today after my test, I talk to 2 shifts about it.

Best of luck with this...that won't be easy. I just read about your situation, Joe. I think it's admirable how much you care for your employees and are willing to have the tough conversations. I'm sorry that it sometimes leads to heart break, but the world needs more people like you, Joe. Don't ever change.

cramx3 · « **Reply #4215 on:** September 29, 2022, 07:55:23 AM »

Just catching up and that is terrible Joe, but holy cow you really tried to help someone above and beyond your means and there is nothing to beat yourself over. You are a good man.

hefdaddy42 · « **Reply #4216 on:** September 29, 2022, 08:14:33 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 04:19:20 PM

I had an employee that moved from NY. He was hard to deal with. Wanted more, never doing the things you need to move up. Was late. Called out admitting he went on a bender. Never drunk or on something at work though.

I sat him down last week and told him he needs help, I gave him phone #'s to call. I implored him to do so. I didn't want him to slip through the cracks. He didn't take insurance here. Always money hungry, but never reliable even on overtime.

Then he got his 23 year old girlfriend pregnant. They fought, she told him she'd cut him out of the child's life. I asked him again to get help for the child's sake.

He called out Monday. Drank too much. His shift is a 3 day shift. Saturday through Monday. Monday he called and talked and asked to go on a leave of absence to go back to NY where he had insurance. I said yes. I told him I had to talk to my boss. I asked him to come in Tuesday to fill out the LOA paperwork to save his job. He asked to email him it. I reached out Tuesday to verify his email. He never responded. I though he was on another bender.

I had tests today to see if my heart is OK for surgery November or December for weight loss. I got a call from my backup. My employee died of an overdose.

I'm heartbroken. I'm beating myself up if I could have done more. I know I did a lot talking to him but my mind is still spinning.

Damn sorry to hear this, Joe.

There was nothing else you could have done. If anything, he may have lasted as long as he did because of you and your efforts.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4217 on:** September 29, 2022, 08:58:18 AM »

Thank you Karolis, Gregg, Marc & Jeremy. I'm feeling better today. Just sad that this kid could have gotten help.

Stadler · « **Reply #4218 on:** September 29, 2022, 09:07:21 AM »

Quote from: TAC on September 28, 2022, 05:46:12 PM

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 05:39:43 PM
I've got a guys night at a camp at a lake. The guys will cheer me up too.

I look damn good in that picture (I'm the second from the right).

In all serious, though, Joe, my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you're carrying that in your heart, but as others have said, it just goes to show what a standup guy you are. I'm proud to call you my friend.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4219 on:** September 29, 2022, 09:32:30 AM »

Thanks Bill. Well, time to go into work. Yuck.

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #4220 on:** September 29, 2022, 11:55:36 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 04:19:20 PM

I had an employee that moved from NY. He was hard to deal with. Wanted more, never doing the things you need to move up. Was late. Called out admitting he went on a bender. Never drunk or on something at work though.

I sat him down last week and told him he needs help, I gave him phone #'s to call. I implored him to do so. I didn't want him to slip through the cracks. He didn't take insurance here. Always money hungry, but never reliable even on overtime.

Then he got his 23 year old girlfriend pregnant. They fought, she told him she'd cut him out of the child's life. I asked him again to get help for the child's sake.

He called out Monday. Drank too much. His shift is a 3 day shift. Saturday through Monday. Monday he called and talked and asked to go on a leave of absence to go back to NY where he had insurance. I said yes. I told him I had to talk to my boss. I asked him to come in Tuesday to fill out the LOA paperwork to save his job. He asked to email him it. I reached out Tuesday to verify his email. He never responded. I though he was on another bender.

I had tests today to see if my heart is OK for surgery November or December for weight loss. I got a call from my backup. My employee died of an overdose.

I'm heartbroken. I'm beating myself up if I could have done more. I know I did a lot talking to him but my mind is still spinning.

Reading through the comments others have left about this Joe and I agree with all of it. I know it's easier said than done when we're all saying that "you did all you could" and that you have no "reason" to feel like the way you feel. You knew this man personally and had enough empathy for him to bring it to light and offer him help. I'm praying that you can find a sense of peace over this soon that will help you heal from it and move on in a way where you don't have any doubts or lingering "what if's" about any of it.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4221 on:** September 29, 2022, 12:00:32 PM »

Thank you Gary. I'm feeling a little better today. I have to call his girlfriend who is pregnant and talk about his insurance which she is the beneficiary. Going to be a tough call.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4222 on:** September 29, 2022, 01:39:56 PM »

Talking to his mom and girlfriend is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do today.

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #4223 on:** September 29, 2022, 01:47:40 PM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 29, 2022, 01:39:56 PM

Talking to his mom and girlfriend is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do today.

I can't imagine. Big bro hug to ya Joe.....

wolfking · « **Reply #4224 on:** September 30, 2022, 04:26:50 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 28, 2022, 04:19:20 PM

I had an employee that moved from NY. He was hard to deal with. Wanted more, never doing the things you need to move up. Was late. Called out admitting he went on a bender. Never drunk or on something at work though.

I sat him down last week and told him he needs help, I gave him phone #'s to call. I implored him to do so. I didn't want him to slip through the cracks. He didn't take insurance here. Always money hungry, but never reliable even on overtime.

Then he got his 23 year old girlfriend pregnant. They fought, she told him she'd cut him out of the child's life. I asked him again to get help for the child's sake.

He called out Monday. Drank too much. His shift is a 3 day shift. Saturday through Monday. Monday he called and talked and asked to go on a leave of absence to go back to NY where he had insurance. I said yes. I told him I had to talk to my boss. I asked him to come in Tuesday to fill out the LOA paperwork to save his job. He asked to email him it. I reached out Tuesday to verify his email. He never responded. I though he was on another bender.

I had tests today to see if my heart is OK for surgery November or December for weight loss. I got a call from my backup. My employee died of an overdose.

I'm heartbroken. I'm beating myself up if I could have done more. I know I did a lot talking to him but my mind is still spinning.

Mate, you went above and beyond the call of duty. There is nothing more you could or should have been expected to do. I've dealt with a drug user before and actually sent him packing in the end and told him to get help. Not sure how it ended but I know I did all I could. We got on great too. A shame.

So I can kind of relate but ufortunately, you still have a job to do mate. DO NOT beat yourself up Joe over this. You sound like a great boss, he had your support and love so don't feel like you let him down, you didn't, he let himself down.

wolfking · « **Reply #4225 on:** September 30, 2022, 04:29:50 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 29, 2022, 01:39:56 PM

Talking to his mom and girlfriend is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do today.

I bet. Props to you again.

Cool Chris · « **Reply #4226 on:** September 30, 2022, 08:50:13 PM »

Wow and his girlfriend was pregnant? How awful. Nothing more to say that hasn't already been said.

(I did chuckle and the Deliverance reference).

axeman90210 · « **Reply #4227 on:** October 01, 2022, 07:30:55 AM »

For what it's worth Joe, I've seen you talk about how you treat your employees a few different times and it's something I try to keep in mind as I wade into management myself.

Hope the tests this week went well.