Explain a Concept Album Plot Badly...

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

The government conducts drugs tests on homosexuals and African-Americans by lacing cologne and mashed potatoes with a substance that turns them into potato-headed, duck-billed racist stereotypes. They perform a Broadway musical that ridicules two members of the audience, first by urinating on them, then by dragging them on stage and tying them to bondage chairs while an evil scientist resurrects dead celebrities. The two audience members get confused with the fictional portrayals of themselves as a young homosexual boy and a blow-up sex doll respectively. The boy and doll have an electronic baby who sleeps in crab-grass, before the woman reveals that she has a radio device concealed in her hair enabling her to communicate with other women and reproduce asexually. She then has intercourse with her briefcase, before the man realises that as a result he is no longer attracted to women, and adopts a submissive role. The couple leave the theatre happy.

I have no idea what that is, but I know I want to hear it.  Now.

I feel like this could be a Mars Volta album.... Maybe.....

[Madman Shepherd]

A couple inherits a house that is so fucking haunted a bunch of dudes are camped out there just to tell them not to move into the house. The couple is like, "Fuck off" and then they discover there is a child corpse in the basement which now possesses their unborn baby which is developing wicked quick. The child corpse is also super evil. A ghost tells the husband, "You should kill your wife before the demon child takes over." Weird shit is going down and he's like maybe I should but before he can his wife pushes him down the stairs, ya know, because the demon baby made her and the baby is born which kills her and may possibly be eating the mom or her former child corpse self. The dudes come back and are like, "Told ya so" and ritualistically kill the baby.

[Zook]

A couple inherits a house that is so fucking haunted a bunch of dudes are camped out there just to tell them not to move into the house. The couple is like, "Fuck off" and then they discover there is a child corpse in the basement which now possesses their unborn baby which is developing wicked quick. The child corpse is also super evil. A ghost tells the husband, "You should kill your wife before the demon child takes over." Weird shit is going down and he's like maybe I should but before he can his wife pushes him down the stairs, ya know, because the demon baby made her and the baby is born which kills her and may possibly be eating the mom or her former child corpse self. The dudes come back and are like, "Told ya so" and ritualistically kill the baby.

This is King Diamond isn't it?

[Madman Shepherd]

A couple inherits a house that is so fucking haunted a bunch of dudes are camped out there just to tell them not to move into the house. The couple is like, "Fuck off" and then they discover there is a child corpse in the basement which now possesses their unborn baby which is developing wicked quick. The child corpse is also super evil. A ghost tells the husband, "You should kill your wife before the demon child takes over." Weird shit is going down and he's like maybe I should but before he can his wife pushes him down the stairs, ya know, because the demon baby made her and the baby is born which kills her and may possibly be eating the mom or her former child corpse self. The dudes come back and are like, "Told ya so" and ritualistically kill the baby.

This is King Diamond isn't it?

You know it!

[lonestar]

That explains why I had no clue what album that was.

[Zook]

That explains why I had no clue what album that was.

Honestly, I just guessed. I never got into KD or Mercyful Fate because I couldn't get passed the vocals, but that plot sounded like a horror movie, and I know enough about KD to know that's his schtick. The music is great, but his vocals are just too much. It's that falsetto.

[Adami]

Blah blah blah dragons and swords, blah blah blah Tolkien rip off.

[Zook]

Blah blah blah dragons and swords, blah blah blah Tolkien rip off.

That could be any number of Power Metal bands, but I'm going to guess Rhapsody OF FIRE.

[Adami]

Blah blah blah dragons and swords, blah blah blah Tolkien rip off.

That could be any number of Power Metal bands, but I'm going to guess Rhapsody OF FIRE.

I basically just did every Rhapsody album. So good job!

[Ninjabait]

Ayreon: (1) A planet full of people turn themselves into immortal robofish to escape getting killed by robots. (2) Robofish people make humans to get the feels. (3) One of those robofish people kidnaps, torture, and kills random humans to get the feels. (4) A dude hits a tree with his car and starts trippin', but it turns out to be the robofish guy trying to get the feels again (oh, you!). (5-6) Some lonely guy plays some ultra-realistic VR game before turning into a giant space sperm.

Haken: (1) Man finds mermaid, man exploits mermaid, everybody dies. (2) Guy sees his death and decides to go back in time and kill a 9-year old. Whoopsie!

DT: (1) Guy picks up a guitar, ends up overthrowing the entire government. Whoopsie! (2) Guy goes to see a therapist about some crazy dreams, and the therapist cures him of ever having any bad dreams ever again.

Neal Morse: A guy pins a pamphlet to a door and ends up being labeled a heretic. Whoopsie!

Spock's Beard: Doctors Hate Him!!! This guy heals people with this one crazy trick!

PT: Some guy(?) likes his (?) XBOX so much he (?) ends up killing himself (?).

MCR: A kid with cancer dies. More at 11.

SW: A woman who lives alone does some chores and then eventually dies.

The Who: A kid is just really good at pinball. More 11.

Beyond the Bridge: An old man gets handed a Faustian bargain, but plot twist he's actually read Faust!

Jeff Wayne: Aliens invade Earth, but they all die because they forgot Germ-X(TM).

Mastodon: Something something astral projection something something Rasputin. Honestly, I have no idea.

PF: A rockstar does drugs. More at 11.

TDH: (1) A prostitute gets knocked up. Guess she needs to find a new job! (2) To cope with his prostitute mother dying, a man gets a prostitute. (3) The man goes to war and finds his half-brother and dad! Long story short, he poisons one and steals the other's identity. (4) Man, identity theft is hard! Hey, who's that new guy? He seems cool! (5) Turns out that new guy is a blackmailer.

[Stadler]

^^ Haha, some of those are really funny.  Whoopsie! 

[KevShmev]

A man becomes human again after being castrated.

[Crow]

(2) To cope with his prostitute mother dying, a man gets a prostitute.

well i can't possibly top this

[The Curious Orange]

The government conducts drugs tests on homosexuals and African-Americans by lacing cologne and mashed potatoes with a substance that turns them into potato-headed, duck-billed racist stereotypes. They perform a Broadway musical that ridicules two members of the audience, first by urinating on them, then by dragging them on stage and tying them to bondage chairs while an evil scientist resurrects dead celebrities. The two audience members get confused with the fictional portrayals of themselves as a young homosexual boy and a blow-up sex doll respectively. The boy and doll have an electronic baby who sleeps in crab-grass, before the woman reveals that she has a radio device concealed in her hair enabling her to communicate with other women and reproduce asexually. She then has intercourse with her briefcase, before the man realises that as a result he is no longer attracted to women, and adopts a submissive role. The couple leave the theatre happy.

I have no idea what that is, but I know I want to hear it.  Now.

I feel like this could be a Mars Volta album.... Maybe.....

Nope, not Mars Volta, guess again...

[?]

-A dude dies and becomes a whiny, jealous ghost.
-A guy hooks up with his ex and things go to shit.

The following 3 aren't linear concept albums, but anyway:
-A guy fails at everything he attempts and finally kills himself. (Remember Homer Simpson's lesson, kids: "Trying is the first step towards failure.")
-A dude goes on a bird hunt with fatal consequences and his mom has to go through the trouble of resurrecting him.
-The guy who created the sky wins a trophy wife in exchange for a money making machine, but she gets killed and he develops a fetish for precious metals.

[jcmoorehead]

The government conducts drugs tests on homosexuals and African-Americans by lacing cologne and mashed potatoes with a substance that turns them into potato-headed, duck-billed racist stereotypes. They perform a Broadway musical that ridicules two members of the audience, first by urinating on them, then by dragging them on stage and tying them to bondage chairs while an evil scientist resurrects dead celebrities. The two audience members get confused with the fictional portrayals of themselves as a young homosexual boy and a blow-up sex doll respectively. The boy and doll have an electronic baby who sleeps in crab-grass, before the woman reveals that she has a radio device concealed in her hair enabling her to communicate with other women and reproduce asexually. She then has intercourse with her briefcase, before the man realises that as a result he is no longer attracted to women, and adopts a submissive role. The couple leave the theatre happy.

I have no idea what that is, but I know I want to hear it.  Now.

I feel like this could be a Mars Volta album.... Maybe.....

Nope, not Mars Volta, guess again...

I've not heard the album but I'm fairly sure thats Thingfish by Frank Zappa?

[MoraWintersoul]

-A dude goes on a bird hunt with fatal consequences and his mom has to go through the trouble of resurrecting him.
-The guy who created the sky wins a trophy wife in exchange for a money making machine, but she gets killed and he develops a fetish for precious metals.

I'm deceased 

[Elite]

-The guy who created the sky wins a trophy wife in exchange for a money making machine, but she gets killed and he develops a fetish for precious metals.

Is this Skyforger by Amorphis?

[jcmoorehead]

-A dude dies and becomes a whiny, jealous ghost.
-A guy hooks up with his ex and things go to shit.

Are these:

My Arms, Your Hearse
Still Life

By any chance?

[New World Rushman]

The porcine politicians rule, the canine businessman have power, the ovine people just follow along, until rising up against the canines, killing them, then retreating back to their homes.

[The Curious Orange]

The government conducts drugs tests...

I have no idea what that is, but I know I want to hear it.  Now.

I feel like this could be a Mars Volta album.... Maybe.....

Nope, not Mars Volta, guess again...

I've not heard the album but I'm fairly sure thats Thingfish by Frank Zappa?

Yay! Well done! You win a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers and a rancid poncho!

[?]

-A dude goes on a bird hunt with fatal consequences and his mom has to go through the trouble of resurrecting him.
-The guy who created the sky wins a trophy wife in exchange for a money making machine, but she gets killed and he develops a fetish for precious metals.

I'm deceased 

My work here is done

-The guy who created the sky wins a trophy wife in exchange for a money making machine, but she gets killed and he develops a fetish for precious metals.

Is this Skyforger by Amorphis?

Yup, the 2 above it are Amorphis albums too.

-A dude dies and becomes a whiny, jealous ghost.
-A guy hooks up with his ex and things go to shit.

Are these:

My Arms, Your Hearse
Still Life

By any chance?

Bingo!

[Luoto]

Is this Skyforger by Amorphis?

Yup, the 2 above it are Amorphis albums too.

Eclipse and Silent Waters, respectively. Those are gold, Skyforger in particular

[DragonAttack]

One score ago, a seasoned military man instructed some musicians on how to correctly jam, ending in a fatal car crash for some dude.

[Zydar]

One score ago, a seasoned military man instructed some musicians on how to correctly jam, ending in a fatal car crash for some dude.

Sgt Pepper?

[Elite]

One score ago, a seasoned military man instructed some musicians on how to correctly jam, ending in a fatal car crash for some dude.

[?]

Is this Skyforger by Amorphis?

Yup, the 2 above it are Amorphis albums too.

Eclipse and Silent Waters, respectively. Those are gold, Skyforger in particular

Haha, thanks!

[TheCountOfNYC]

The Shape of Water cures everyone.

[Elite]

A technologically advanced exiled race attack their home planet which is populated by their kin who are devoid of technology and live harmoniously with nature, until the inhabitants decide to tap into the one thing that can save them from the exiles’s attack: their own technology. This spells their doom as well, as nature’s spirits then wipes out everybody.

[SoundscapeMN]

-Life is created on Earth

-Life evolves on Earth

-Life destroys itself and the Earth

[romdrums]

Two British musicians get baked and write an ocean's worth of gibberish based on a footnote in Yogi Berra's autobiography.

[Ben_Jamin]

Astronaut travels through space, meets some spirits, while his wife cheats on him.

[?]

Two British musicians get baked and write an ocean's worth of gibberish based on a footnote in Yogi Berra's autobiography.

[jcmoorehead]

Man is spraying some graffiti and sees an animal being lazy in the middle of the street. Gets chased by a wall, has a weird encounter with his brother, has bad sex, can't find his way through a building, meets some snake women, gets his knob cut off, slides down some rapids, his brother has his face.

[Zydar]

Man is spraying some graffiti and sees an animal being lazy in the middle of the street. Gets chased by a wall, has a weird encounter with his brother, has bad sex, can't find his way through a building, meets some snake women, gets his knob cut off, slides down some rapids, his brother has his face.

Thanks, I've always wondered what that album is about