Good round; as to be expected in a championship round I got eight solid as a rock submissions. I struggled – of my own accord – with how to judge “creativity” in this round, and so I decided, somewhat arbitrarily – to afford two points (one point for each competitor going to the finals) for what I thought were the most outrageous submittal and the most… shall we say “dangerous” submittal.
TAC: 17.0
Fandango – Thief In The Night 5.5 2 0 7.5
Elf – Wonderworld 6.5 2 1 9.5
So…I’m a Blackmore fanboy, with no apologies. I like Deep Purple Marks I, II, III, IIa, IV and IIb. I like Rainbow Marks I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, and VIII (basically, one per album!). I even like Blackmore’s Night. But I’ve been stingy with the “family bands”. I’ve never heard even one song from Episode Six (Gillan Glover’s band before Purple), I ignore the Purple with Tommy Bolin, the only Graham Bonnet I listen to without Blackmore has Michael Schenker or Yngwie on it. So it’s not far-fetched that I’ve never heard Fandango, and I’ve only heard one Elf song. I liked, not loved, the Fandango. It’s got the 70’s drums (with the double-tracked bongos!) and it’s the worst side of JLT’s lyrics, but it’s also JLT singing (which I love) so there’s that. Good middle-of-the-road hard rock.
Elf. I love Dio in Rainbow, Sabbath, solo, so you’d think I’d know and love this. But the only Elf I’ve heard was everything I don’t like about the first Rainbow record; very country-ish without the charm of outlaw country. Corny lyrics that rely more on cliché than any real insight (like he’d later show with “Well if it seems to be real, it's illusion… For every moment of truth, there's confusion in life. Love can be seen as the answer, but nobody bleeds for the dancer!”). So I wasn’t all that optimistic. Then I heard it. I LOVED this song. Song of the round, certainly, but perhaps the song of the roulette. Even you conceded that this isn’t really indicative of the rest of the band’s output, but my god did this strike a chord. When they come out of the break, and you get that vintage Ronnie: “So sail away, into the sun, because I’m everyone!” … no, it makes NO sense, but who cares? He sings it like it’s the key to unlocking life eternal!!! You also got the bonus point, because for all I write about metal and Sabbath and Dio, to find the ONE SONG among the 25 Elf songs that wasn’t a cheesy rock song called “Rocking Chair Rock and Roll Blues” or “Shotgun Boogie” or “Black Swampy Water” or…
Jingle: 15.5
Poison – Stand 6 2 0 8
Poison – Theater Of The Soul 5.5 2 0 7.5
Okay, so fuck you for making me think. This is my roulette, it’s supposed to be fun to watch YOU squirm. Haha. Kidding. Now, with Poison with Richie Kotzen, I respectfully think you’re on the edge of both of the “before he was famous” and “famous” (Kotzen is not the household name or legend that Joel or Dio are) but that didn’t impact your score any. The songs are solid. I’m not the hugest Poison fan, in that they were sort of the worst of all the bad things that came out of LA in that time, without many of the good. They weren’t stellar musicians (Slash – almost an early member of the band, can, in my opinion, play circles around CC Deville, and while Brett is passable, he’s no Axl Rose or Kevin DuBrow or Jack Russell) , they overdid the makeup (only Twisted Sister – not an LA band – came close for ridiculousness) and their songs were a little simple, relying on sexual innuendo without the sheer brass and character of a guy like Roth (before their time) or even Vince Neil, who for all his faults, at least lived the lifestyle for better or worse (he can’t sing, but no one can call Vince Neil a poser). They did have a knack for hitting the right note. By any standard, “Every Rose…” is a great tune, and to me, it’s a tribute that basically any first year guitar player can cover it. You sent me the best parts of Poison, amped up with some stellar musical cred. I really REALLY liked “Stand” in that it should have been a bag of clichés but it wasn’t. It had some substance to it (and yes, I liked the lyrics; thanks for the compliment), showcased Kotzen’s tasteful playing, and played right into the strengths of Brett’s voice (it doesn’t seem it, but I’m a fan of Brett Michaels the man, if not all of his music). The second song wasn’t as strong, but it’s still pretty good; this is meat and potatoes rock, and that’s not a bad thing. Most of my collection is basically meat and potatoes rock, and as long as you don’t burn the steak or leave lumps in the potatoes, you’re good.
Romdrums: 15.5
Exotic Birds – Dancing On The Airwaves 5.5 2 0 7.5
How We Live – Dry Land 6 2 0 8
I don’t mind the genre, I don’t mind the 80’s electronic pop vibe of Exotic Birds, and it’s a treat to hear a different side to Trent Reznor, who I admire as a musician, but whose music doesn’t do a ton for me. It just wasn’t a song that moved me much. I generally do like this kind of music – I can remember when MTV first started, and played this stuff on the regular – but I think it’s a bit lacking. I didn’t know this when I scored it, but little of it is really Trent’s muse, so I don’t feel too bad about it not clicking. By all accounts he played keys and programmed, but didn’t sing lead or write the song (though he did appear with his Exotic Birds bandmates as the band in “Light Of Day” with Michael J. Fox).
Hmm. “Dry Land”. I love Marillion, and even though I’m a Fish guy at heart, the Hogarth years have provided a lot of entertainment, and the four times or so that I’ve seen them have all been with H. I LOVE Season’s End; one of Marillion’s best, but I feel like Holidays In Eden was a real step back and to this day one of my least favorite albums. I will give you this: the song was fully formed, and Marillion didn’t really f*** with it much when they rerecorded it, but that to me just highlighted the problems with that record. In fact, I think I prefer this version to the Marillion one, simply because I know what Marillion can do, and they didn’t! It’s a good song, though, and I like Hogarth as a singer, so it gets a decent score.
Kingshmegland: 16.5
Attila – Wonder Woman 6 2 0 8
The First Edition – Tell It All Brother 5.5 2 1 8.5
King, if nothing else, no one could ever accuse you of playing it safe, or taking the easy way out. Two ballsy picks if you ask me. I’m a huge – HUGE – Billy Joel fan, and have been since my grandma bought me “The Stranger” on vinyl back in the day. It’s still one of my favorite albums ever. I was just listening to “An Innocent Man” last night (that title track; GTFO). I’ve actually heard the one Attila song that is on the Billy Joel box set, and it’s… well, Billy keeps calling it “heavy metal” and it’s not, not by any standard I can name. Yeah, it’s loud, and it sounds a shade like Robert Plant jamming with Deep Purple, but I wouldn’t call it “heavy metal”. But I liked it; it’s stupid (“wonder woman, you got me in a spin; Jesus Christ, I can’t believe the shape I’m in!”) but I dig that 70’s Hammond, drums-by-a-crazy-man, and “hey I just bought a wah-wah pedal!” guitar sound (it’s a keyboard), and this confirms what I’ve long suspected: that Billy Joel can sing ANYTHING and is a far better singer than he gets credit for.
And to the second song. WTF. I’m not turned off to the Kenny Rogers (I too grew up with a mom who listened to him) and I think he’s an amazing singer (even if some of his material is safe; I hate that song “Islands In The Stream”) but you’ve got huevos grande for sending that video. The song is pretty good for what it was – a dated quasi-hippy anthem - but the best part is the duet with Dino (“Whatever turns you in, Ken.”) at the end. And for the record, Dean at LEAST made out with Thelma back stage. She was digging him big time. I’m giving you a bonus point for not only pulling that out of left field, but in fact, pulling it out of the parking lot, beyond the left field fence. 😊
Topic: Stadler's Roulette, 2.0: Singles A's and B's: We have a Champeen! (Read 48072 times)