So after spending a few days pondering the meaning of life for the umpteenth time after having yet another friend succumb to depression or whatever is going on with them and end their life, I find myself flipping through the DTF pages to take my mind off things and have begun to remember the members here that are still here from way back when I "joined" (lurked, I didn't make an account for another year or so) in the pre-DTF.org days when only a handful or two (maybe down to one? in terms of active members?) remain, and those that aren't here anymore for whatever reason, known or not (and then an even more select few that lurk under hidden or guest status).
To those that were and still are that are going through a world of shit: You're all awesome in your own way, and no matter what you're going through, and how horribly hopeless it all may seem, one day the tide will turn, and you'll be glad you persevered; thing is, that sensation you feel, those that love you and are glad you're around will feel a wanting for that sensation ten fold the day that you leave their lives. People are fickle, insecure, and mostly selfishly self conscious. Until the day that they lose something that they truly do love, but were perhaps a bit too self absorbed to see it clearly. We've all done this and yet never seem to remember it whenever we need said attention...it's a horrible human facet full of irony. In a lot of cases, everyone thinks that they're looking at them, but they're looking at themselves. Except for that one kid in the back of class that thinks no one looks at them and wouldn't give a shit if they disappeared off the face of the Earth. And there's a lot of those kids out there, who are now teens, or adults.
Not a lot...sadly...but some of those kids end up finding solace on the internet like I did. With such a vast virtual landscape, most find ridicule, jokes that go way beyond joking, and all around embarrassment. Somehow, I stumbled here, where once I trolled and acted like a complete and utter douchebag. There were a few that pushed back (rightfully so), but the fact that so many of you embraced me still and kept me feeling welcome is truly astounding. The fact that I have absolutely zero social media and have less than zero needs to go back...and yet I still log on here once every couple days (most of the time, once a day) is a testament to the fact that this is a truly special place in the millions (billions? I don't know anymore) of websites out there.
I'm rambling at this point but I'm tired...despite the fact that all I've done is sleep. Push on, for the love of all that is hopeful in humanity, if you feel like giving up. For the sake of those that love you that you either don't even realize love you, or that you're hurting too much to see it. People can be horrible, but one promise that is absolute, truthful in every aspect, and one that will never become a lie: Someone out there loves you. Maybe they don't say it. Maybe they treat you bad, but again, people are fickle and forgetful: The moment you are gone, they will wish they held on to you and told you that they love you. If you feel like you haven't said this to someone and are not doing so for whatever reason in the god damn universe there is, do so as soon as you can.
My name is George Lucas and I love you and hope you stay around till you are an old, decrepit old person with poop in your diapers.