News: DreamTheaterForums is a place for people who just don't have the time for music anymore. 

Yup, you read that right. I've been in modern music hybernation for the better part of the last two decades, yet I've lived the first half of my musical life as the luckiest album freeloader alive. How so? You can read it here, a funny place and ideal cheatsheet for unlocking my tastes and habits.

After a satisfying crowsourcing session, we've established to ban everything published before 1996, and explained the reasons why. After that date, my life went into a totally different niche of music 24/7, allowing me only the time and brainpower to hear a lot but listen to nothing.

Here's the ludicrous list of acts I can say I know everything about in the new millennium:

Dream Theater and blast radius
Neal Morse and blast radius
Muse
Aristocrats

For everything else, we have 4 options:

1. I know the song you sent, please resend. (I'm happy and willing to really work with you here)
2. I know the act, let's hear what I missed.
2. That act wasn't worth my complete attention, I prefer the original model. (A whole lot of your current prog heroes here)
3. I didn't know that act even existed. (The whole goal of this roulette)

And now, as my roulette mentor Jingle would say: TASTES!

Omnivore, of the worst kind. I'm an opera baritone's grandson, a jazz-rock drummer's son, TAC's lost euro-twin's brother, and I make a living singing stuff composed in the 1800's. I don't see race, I don't see genre. The only race and genre I care about is quality. If I were the Inside Out kid, my music brain would host cartoon BaroqueWig, MetalHead, ProgPipe, HeroinBop and WestEndSlut pushing my buttons. Yeah, messy.

I love unashamed melody as well as daring dissonance, value timbre over range, expression over musicianship, frequencies democracy over walls of sound, landscape over structure. I don't make a fuss about poor lyrics, but I'm rewarding brilliant ones. Saxophone and flute matter, violins a lot less. I'm ok with any kind of production, as long as it's consistent with the tune's spirit. Growls are accepted only as peculiar appropriate musical instrument for peculiar appropriate song moments. A whole tune carried by orc voice is going to crack me up at best, make my throat hurt via ear conduit at worst.

As general guideline, here's a list of 20 (in no particular order) songwriters who have never failed me:

Ritchie Blackmore
Stephen Sondheim
Yoko Kanno
David Gilmour
Nobuo Uematsu
Billy Joel
Lennon/McCartney
John Petrucci
Stevie Wonder
Rory Gallagher
Neal Morse
Robert Fripp
Matt Bellamy
Ian Anderson
Mark Knopfler
Jason Robert Brown
Al DiMeola
Steve Lukather
Gioacchino Rossini
Mike Patton

Blablablabla … How does this work?

NBA style, of course. Two Conferences: the Old Farts and the Young Turks, dividing line being me – 30/04/1978. If you don't wish to reveal your age, just pick a conference, I'm easy like that. 16 players, 8 per conference, hence a preliminar open round if more people signs in, or fake accounts galore if less. This is the Regular Season:

Round 1: Opening night, open round. Just hit me with your best shot.
Round 2: Rookies emerge. Throw me a song from a debut album.
Round 3: Throwback night, aka Mullet Round (thanks King). Pre-1996 songs only.
Round 4: All Star Game. Last opportunity to send your un-themed best.
Round 5: Tanking for the draft. Give me your steaming turds. The song I hate the most wins.*

*Be honest here, send me a tune you rate at least 6/10 but you consider my kryptonite. The point is showing you got to know my tastes, not to send literal shite.

Playoffs: The best 4 Fogeys and 4 Youngsters will fight according to their regular season standings:

Quarterfinals: Playbook tricks. Two songs by the same act which you just can't believe are by the same act.
Semifinals: Overtime thriller: a loooong epic is what I need.
Finals: EP round, what else?

. YT links is the way to go, cause I live on the bus.
. Tell me why you love that tune, and I will try to love it more.
. Bizarro hangman, Timestamps snippets, dadaist writeups.
. Your submission will be listened to the hilt. I have at least three 8 hours trip per week.
. Ideal routine: results and submissions on mondays.
. Trash talking and dirty playing are subconsciously rewarded.
. In order to sign in (even if you've already stated your intention to participate in the tracker thread) you need to pick a franchise name and a conference.
. Questions about my tastes and preferences are happily allowed, but only in public thread form. Obviously, your submission can be discussed in PM.
. Be funny, that's the real competition.
. Be gentle, it's my first time.

Don't hesitate to offer corrections. I know I'm forgetting something.


Submissions:

Michael Kiske - Do I Remember a Life?
Coheed and Cambria - The Willing Well: From Fear to the Eyes of Madness
Beyond the Bridge - The Difference Is Human
Hail Spirit Noir - The Mermaid
Barock Project - Happy to See You
Big Big Train - Curator of Butterflies
Evership - A Slow Descent into Reality
Haken - Atlas Stone
Vanden Plas - January Sun
Oceansize - Commemorative 9/11 T-Shirt
Luca Turilli's Rhapsody - Tormento e Passione
While Heaven Wept – Vessel
Karnivool - New Day
Snarky Puppy - What About Me?
Cheap Trick - The Summer Looks Good on You
Caligula's Horse - Turntail

Epysode - Obsessions
Lor - Visions of Awakening
In the Presence of Wolves - Man of the Times
Circus Maximus - Alive
Headspace - In Hell's Name
Mumford & Sons - White Blank Page
Pyramid Theorem - Another Day Slips By
The Reign of Kindo - Let It Go
Frost* - Black Light Machine
The Claypool Lennon Delirium - Cricket and the Genie
Outworld - Raise Hell
Thank You Scientist - Suspicious Waveforms
Cosmo Sheldrake - Hocking
Dreadnought - Lift
Agent Fresco - Yellow Nights
Riverside - Loose Heart

Iced Earth - Dante's Inferno
Marillion - Beyond You
Red House Painters - Katy Song
Grateful Dead - Jack Straw
Aliotta Jeremiah Haynes - Lake Shore Drive
Squeeze - Up the Junction
Porcupine Tree - The Moon Touches Your Shoulder
Kyuss - Gardenia
World Trade - Open the Door
Savatage - Labyrinth / Follow Me
Michel Camilo - Not Yet
Shooting Star - Last Chance
Cardiacs - The Duck and Roger The Horse
Triumph - Magic Power
Anglagard - Kung Bore
Yezda Urfa - Tota in the Moya

Ulver - Lost in Moments
Mystery - Shadow of the Lake
Sieges Even - Unbreakable
Ostura - Duality
Incognito - Deep Waters
Ayreon - Day Two: Isolation
mewithoutYou - The Cockroach King on a Coconut Estate
Lost Horizon - Highlander
Pain of Salvation - Iter Impius
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - A Simple Game of Genius
Blue Food - Joker Face
Von Hertzen Brothers - Angel's Eyes
Enchant - Sinking Sand
Anathema - Untouchable
Avantasia - Another Angel Down
The Hirsch Effect - Agitation

Tribulation - Lacrimosa
Shining - Blackjazz Deathtrance
Baby Metal - Road to Resistance
Meshuggah - MonstroCity
Cradle of Filth - Tortured Soul Asylum
uneXpect - The Quantum Symphony
Strapping Young Lad - You Suck
Millenium - Power to Love
William Shatner - Mr Tambourine Man
Orbs - People Will Read Again
Justin Bieber - U Smile
Between the Buried and Me - Foam Born (b): Decade of Statues
Star One - It All Ends Here
Nightwish - Song for Myself
Sunn O))) - Bathory Erzsbet
Swan - Mother of the World

Steven Wilson - Refuge
Flaming Row - Pictures
Major Parkinson - Strawberry Suicide
Linkin Park - One More Light
Glen Hansard - Bird of Sorrow

Thoughts Factory - No Way Out + The Mire
Karmakanic - Let in Hollywood + Wheel of Life
Frameshift - La Mer + Miseducation
Voices from the Fuselage - Epicinium + Meteorites
The Dear Hunter - Mustard Gas + Son and Father
Thrice - Firebreather + Daedalus
Devin Townsend Band/Project - Deadhead + Heart Baby
Boris - Pink + Jackson Head

Theocracy - Mirror of Souls
Dimension Act - Drawinf the Lines of Mortal Existance
Beardfish - Sleeping in Traffic
Poly-Math - Science We Are the Devil

Nile - Spawn of Uamenti
Witherfall - End of Time
Solstafir - Goddess of the Ages
Earthside - A Dream in Static
Equilibrium - Mana
Breath of Nibiru - Road to Sunrise
Fractal Cypher - The Grandeur of It All
Teramaze - Delusions of Grandeur
Drifting Sun - Twilight


The Standings:

The Tranquility Old Farts Conference:

jingle.boy - Boston Bruins Blow: 7.8 + 7 + 8.6 + 8 + 7 = 38.4 - WestEndSlut:  , , ProgPipe: *
TAC - The aTACkers: 8.4 + 8.3 + 8.0 + 7 + 6.5 = 38.2 - WestEndSlut:  , MetalHead: 
kingshmegland - King Kongshmegland: 8.6 + 8.0 + 7.3 + 8.5 + 5 = 37.4 - ProgPipe:   
lonestar - Team Fuck Canada: 8.8 + 7.5 + 6.5 + 9 + 5 = 36.8 - MetalHead:    , BaroqueWig:
romdrums - Seedy Rom and The Hard Drives: 7.0 + 8.3 + 6.0 + 9 + 6.5 = 36.8 - MetalHead:  , HeroinBop:
: DestinyOfChaos - The One Trick Ponies: 7.3 + 7.5 + 5.8 + 7.5 + 8.5 = 36.6 - MetalHead: 
Stadler - The Hartford Walers: 6.6 + 8.5 + 6.8 + 8 + 6.5 = 36.4 - BaroqueWig:    *
Kattelox - The Rainbow Warriors: 6.8 + 6.0 + 6.5 + 8.0 + 4 = 31.3 – HeroinBop: *


The Cetaphil Young Turks Conference:

Parama - Six Roaming Owls: 9.0 + 6.8 + 7.0 + 9 + 8 = 39.8 - BaroqueWig:  , WestEndSlut:
Sacul - Hangmanen Addicts: 9.0 + 6.2 + 7.0 + 8.5 + 9 = 39.7 - HeroinBop:  , WestEndSlut:
Puppies_On_Acid - West Coast Lost Marbles: 6.2 + 7.7 + 8.8 + 8.5 + 7 = 38.2 - WestEndSlut:    , ProgPie:
Evermind - Cockroach Sympathizers: 8.0 + 7.3 + 7.5 + 7 + 7 = 36.8 - WestEndSlut:  , MetalHead:
ariich - Sexin'-You-Laters: 7.0 + 7.5 + 7.8 + 7 + 7.5 = 36.8 - HeroinBop: 
Elite - Rich and The Poor Tastes: 7.3 + 6.6 + 8.4 + 7.5 + 7 = 36.8 – HeroinBop:
Aefenwelg - The Uhhhh.. Wildcats: 6.4 + 6.8 + 9.2 + 8.5 + 5 = 35.9 – ProgPipe: , BaroqueWig:
Shadow Ninja 2.0 - Wayward Vagabonds: 7.6 + 6.4 + 6.3 + 7 + 6 = 33.3 - MetalHead: 

Playoff Grid:

Conference Semifinals:

Boston Bruins Suck vs Team Fuck Canada
The aTACkers vs King Kongshmegland

Six Roaming Owls vs Cockroach Sympathizers
West Coast Lost Marbles vs Hangmanen Addicts

Conference Finals:

Boston Bruins Suck vs The aTACkers
Six Roaming Owls vs West Coast Lost Marbles

The Finals:

The aTACkers vs West Coast Marbles

Winner:

TAC - The aTACkers:

For example:

Boston Celtics
Miami Dolphins
Evermind HangmanKillers

Fuck it, let's do this. 1/31/1991, glad that I'm not the youngest babby here. 

I know as much about sports as Stadler knows about Facebook. Uh... thinking.

Ev, sure.

Jingle, is it Jingle Martins? *wink*

Katt, thrilled you reconsidered. Pick a battle name.

Clearly, I'm in the fogey conference - born in '71... the best year for music :comeatmebro:

As for my franchise name... The Boston Bruins Blow

TAC and King can suck it, and have to be reminded of that every time I kick their ass.

Prediction 1 - Round 5 = growlie round.
Prediction 2 - Tim's round 5 = Winger or Toto

Clearly, I'm in the fogey conference - born in '71... the best year for music :comeatmebro:

As for my franchise name... The Boston Bruins Blow

TAC and King can suck it, and have to be reminded of that every time I kick their ass.

Prediction 1 - Round 5 = growlie round.
Prediction 2 - Tim's round 5 = Winger or Toto

Bitch please.  Oh. I'm in.

Oh, this looks fun. May I join?

Oh, this looks fun. May I join?

Yessir

Folks, remember your franchise names.

round 5 is going to be incredibly easy for me

i may as well /in just to make you regret running a roulette

my franchise name is, of course, Six Roaming Owls

and i'm younger than ev so do what you will with that info

I'm definitely in. Born in 85' so that puts me in the youngsters conference.

Franchise name - West Coast Lost Marbles

*thumbs up*

it seems like i have unknowingly become part of dacul's franchise

in that case this shall count as a win for me even if dacul wins 

I’m older than Evermind, but still in the younger division. I’ll think of some silly name, unless someone else has a brilliant suggestion.

Born in '88.

I want to be The Uhhhh.. Wildcats.

Infinite room, although I'm predicting having to ask some lads to play with the gramps.

Welcome aboard, gentlemen.

That's commendable. Bring lots of towels.

I rarely step out for a Roulette but this one looks too good to pass up. Love your work on the DT forum and love how you've laid this one out.

Presenting The One Trick Ponies...for everything that I send will involve metal of some nature.

I was shat from my Mother's womb in 83....but have no problem knocking heads together in either of your conferences.

GO SPORTS MUSIC