Author Topic: Are you always 100% honest when your SO asks for your opinion on clothing?  (Read 470 times)

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Offline kingshmegland

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Offline TempusVox

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When a woman prepares to attend an important social function, she puts a lot of thought into her appearance. Fashion, for women, can get complicated. What dress to wear? How to accessorize? Are these heels too high? Not high enough? Even women who describe themselves as “low maintenance” can be susceptible to this anxiety.

I would guess that most of the time when were asked it's not just because she wants to know how the outfit looks. Unless it was a gift, she bought it, she's seen it. She knows what it looks like. It's more about how she looks wearing it. There is a ton of pressure put on women by society (other women mostly) to look a certain way. This creates a lot of anxiety and worry about how other women (and men) will look at her. My wife is stunning. I know that. She's told that many times, and many men and women have commented on how gorgeous she is. She is also very confident and comfortable with herself. But don't think for a second she doesn't have insecurity and anxiety at times. We all do!

So, when she asks, what I always try to get at is "What do you think, honey?" This allows her to tell me what she's feeling insecure about.
Mrs. Vox: "I don't know, I think this makes my hips look too big."
Me: " Hmmm... (honest opinion).
If I agree, I'll suggest another of her outfits. If not, I'll tell her she's stunning and we move on.

Many times, I'll tell her I think she looks great, but she knows I think she looks great. So I'll always tell her,
"Wear whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. You don't have to impress anyone. Everyone loves you for you, and if they don't who cares?!"

This is usually the perfect statement to make to allleviate her fear and insecurity.

And when she's been stressed about an outfit. Later I'll bring it up. "You are so rocking that dress tonight!"

I love my wife. I tell her everyday. She's creative, brilliantly intelligent, compassionate, strong, empowered, and hot! I most assuredly "out-kicked my coverage." But we're also a team. And I have her back no matter what.

So, I'm always honest, but never cruel. And Hell, I ask her all of the time too! In part because I'm color blind and sometimes my ties don't match ANYTHING in my wardrobe.  :lol
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Offline TAC

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"... Everyone loves you for you, and if they don't who cares?!"

This is usually the perfect statement to make to allleviate her fear and insecurity.

It seems like the perfect statement to compound her fear and insecurity.  :lol
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline cramx3

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"... Everyone loves you for you, and if they don't who cares?!"

This is usually the perfect statement to make to allleviate her fear and insecurity.

It seems like the perfect statement to compound her fear and insecurity.  :lol

 :lol usually the "who cares" line doesn't work on women from my experience.  It works great on me though.

Offline Stadler

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"... Everyone loves you for you, and if they don't who cares?!"

This is usually the perfect statement to make to allleviate her fear and insecurity.

It seems like the perfect statement to compound her fear and insecurity.  :lol
That's what I was thinking.   :) 

I do like the tactic of later on, after the question and answer period, of complementing her out of the blue on the thing that she was most worried about. 

Offline TempusVox

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"... Everyone loves you for you, and if they don't who cares?!"

This is usually the perfect statement to make to allleviate her fear and insecurity.

It seems like the perfect statement to compound her fear and insecurity.  :lol

 :lol usually the "who cares" line doesn't work on women from my experience.  It works great on me though.

It actually does work. My wife and I both work in careers where people are always judging the work we do, in larger numbers than most people experience everyday. Me as an author (I think a weatherman gets less scrutiny), and she a political consultant. So we both learned and accepted the lesson we're all taught at one time or another, that you can't please everyone. So don't waste energy in trying to do that. Instead focus positive energy on the people that accept you for you. It's easier than you think when you let the negative go.

Through her work, she was once pilloried in the press for her previous association with an unscrupulous person. She and others were victims of guilt by association. But when the press came out, the damage was done already. Even though later after the facts came out, it was still extremely painful, to have experienced the wrath of the court of public opinion. Interestingly, the people on both sides of the political spectrum who knew her defended her reputation fiercely. So, she was able to realize that those who still misjudged her were people that really had no impact on her life. But, it changed her; because her reputation was something she had worked tirelessly to build and protect. But at the end of the day, she realized, painfully, that despite your best efforts, some people will just be assholes; and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that.

So, when it comes to something so trivial about how someone is going to think about her outfit, in the end, she realized not everyone will like the same things. And she's okay with that. And we're able to lock that insecure Genie back in the bottle.

I can see how with someone who is especially insecure, that by using that "who cares" comment, it might not help them; but isn't that sentiment really true in life? We can't and won't please everyone; so feel good about yourself. We're all special and unique.

So long as nothing is showing or hanging out, wear that outfit with pride!  :biggrin: :biggrin:
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Offline cramx3

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I can see how with someone who is especially insecure, that by using that "who cares" comment, it might not help them; but isn't that sentiment really true in life? We can't and won't please everyone; so feel good about yourself. We're all special and unique.

I totally agree with what you are saying and you use some logic here, but I feel logic often goes out the window when discussing some things with women regarding their clothes (from my experience).

Offline TAC

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I can see how with someone who is especially insecure, that by using that "who cares" comment, it might not help them; but isn't that sentiment really true in life? We can't and won't please everyone; so feel good about yourself. We're all special and unique.

I totally agree with what you are saying and you use some logic here, but I feel logic often goes out the window when discussing some things with women regarding their clothes (from my experience).

Yeah, Temp. Since when does talking with women and logic have anything to do with each other?


We must not all be blessed with those dreamy eyes you have. :lol
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums................or WTF.  ;D

Offline bout to crash

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Tip: we can tell when you're not being honest  ;)

Also, I would emphasize how SHE feels about it versus you, since she is the one wearing it, but that's just me. I mean, if she looks like a total trainwreck that's one thing but if you're just not a fan of the style, eh. You can say it's not really your thing but it looks good on her so she should wear it if she loves it.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.