Author Topic: Are you always 100% honest when your SO asks for your opinion on clothing?  (Read 469 times)

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Offline Chino

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Just curious.

The lady and I are attending a wedding this weekend so she's been pulling out her dress options the last couple days. She's lost a decent amount of weight over the last year and has been buying all kinds of new stuff.

She came out of the home office last night with a new dress on, and she was obviously pretty excited about it. She immediately asks "What do you think?", and my .06 second delayed response time was all it took for her to feel crushed. It was a really revealing dress that had weird shoulder straps (I thought she had it one wrong), and it's one of those types were dress reveals an entire leg. 

I actually hated the thing from the waist up. The bottom half was kind of sexy at the proper angle, but I thought it was way too much for public and it border line slutty. It's situations like this where I don't know what to do. I don't ever want to instruct my SO on what she should or shouldn't wear, but at the same time, I don't want to be out at a formal event knowing that the below is going to happen if someone sneezes too heavily.



I told her the dress wasn't my favorite. I could tell by her body language as she walked away that she knew I wasn't being completely honest with her. I'm usually completely open and honest when she asks my opinion about clothing, but I truthfully hated everything about this particular dress. I thought it looked terrible.

Offline TAC

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Yeah definitely. You're only criticizing the clothes, and not her. With my wife, her clothing is like picking out drapes or rugs or anything else. There's 5% that I clearly love, 5% that I hate, and 90% that I really don't care either way.

I've flat out told my wife that something looks slutty. She's not offended.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline bosk1

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^Pretty much the same here.  She is pretty sensible about the way she dresses, and I am not controlling, so it's a good balance.  She will sometimes ask whether I think something is appropriate for a particular type of event, and isn't bothered either way by whatever the response is, so I don't hesitate to say what I think.
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Offline Nekov

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I'm with TAC, I'll always tell her the truth. And those percentages also seem correct for me, there's very few stuff that I really like/dislike. Most of them I don't really care.
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Offline kingshmegland

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Yeah, I tell the truth.  You play around it always comes back to bite you in the ass.  It's a sensitive subject for women.
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Offline TAC

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I think it's things like this that get easier and more understood if you've been married a long time. There are landmines aplenty in these types of conversation for younger couples.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Offline kingshmegland

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And learn from your own mistakes.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart

So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam

Offline Nekov

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I think it's things like this that get easier and more understood if you've been married a long time. There are landmines aplenty in these types of conversation for younger couples.

Since the beginning of my relationship I've taken to be honest and blunt even if its harsh and so far I've managed to survive for more than two years. She will sometimes get angry because I don't tell her what she's wanting to hear but I think she ends up appreciating it.
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Offline Chino

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I think it's things like this that get easier and more understood if you've been married a long time. There are landmines aplenty in these types of conversation for younger couples.

Since the beginning of my relationship I've taken to be honest and blunt even if its harsh and so far I've managed to survive for more than two years. She will sometimes get angry because I don't tell her what she's wanting to hear but I think she ends up appreciating it.

I usually have no problem being blunt. This particular time was just tricky because you could see on her face the happiness/pride/excitement/relief that her hard work finally allowed her to fit into such a dress, and my first and only reaction was "that looks absolutely terrible on you".

Offline Nekov

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Well, but that's your opinion and you shouldn't be afraid to share it with her. What's the problem with not liking the same things? If she likes how she looks in it then she should wear it regardless of what you think of it.
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Offline lordxizor

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If she asks I'll be cautiously honest, though not brutally so. If she asks (which is pretty rare) it's usually at a store or for something she bought that she's not sure about so she usually genuinely wants my opinion. There's a few things that she has that I don't care for or don't think flatter her at all that I haven't said a word about because she hasn't asked. Something would have to be pretty bad for me to give an unsolicited opinion on.

Offline Phoenix87x

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Just curious.

The lady and I are attending a wedding this weekend so she's been pulling out her dress options the last couple days. She's lost a decent amount of weight over the last year and has been buying all kinds of new stuff.

She came out of the home office last night with a new dress on, and she was obviously pretty excited about it. She immediately asks "What do you think?", and my .06 second delayed response time was all it took for her to feel crushed.


This is seriously one of the main reasons I am glad I am single again. Its really hard to have someone get super frustrated with you or super sad when you didn't even intend to do anything.

I also don't like lying. With all my guy friends, If they look like shit, then I tell them. Its not this song and dance of "will she be upset, will she not? will I be in the dog house, will I not?"  It really bothered me.

And when I was in a relationship I pretty much just spoke my mind. At least at first, then I started to anticipate stuff that she would get mad at me about and just stopped talking altogether, for fear of making her upset. And that blew too. So I really don't know what a good answer to give would be.
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Offline Stadler

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Generally, I'm with TAC and King on this and I'd like to think they would agree with me here:   

Maybe I'm not giving you all enough benefit of the doubt, but there's honest, and there's "honest".   If she walks out in a dress that doesn't flatter her, I'm going to give her my honest opinion.  I can guarantee you it will not be in the form "What, you look like a fucking whore in that dress", or "That looks like shit on you."   If I don't like it I might say "OOOH, that doesn't have the same cut as [other dress that she knows we both like]".   Or "Hmm; you look beautiful but that doesn't really flatter your [whatever body part might be relevant]".   I don't think "being honest" means you have to be brutal.   

Offline lonestar

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In any relationship I'm in, I set out from the  get go to give the impression that I know absolute dick about fashion, and that my opinion would be meaningless. It's worked out wonderfully so far.
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Offline pg1067

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Generally, I'm with TAC and King on this and I'd like to think they would agree with me here:   

Maybe I'm not giving you all enough benefit of the doubt, but there's honest, and there's "honest".   If she walks out in a dress that doesn't flatter her, I'm going to give her my honest opinion.  I can guarantee you it will not be in the form "What, you look like a fucking whore in that dress", or "That looks like shit on you."   If I don't like it I might say "OOOH, that doesn't have the same cut as [other dress that she knows we both like]".   Or "Hmm; you look beautiful but that doesn't really flatter your [whatever body part might be relevant]".   I don't think "being honest" means you have to be brutal.

Generally agree with all of this.  I've been married for the better part of the last 22 years, and we're at a point where my wife doesn't really consult me about clothes.  When she did, I was always pushing her away from a hyper-conservative style, which was very much her default setting, but I was always able to express my opinion in an honest, but not brutal, manner.  I also can't remember a situation in which she was super excited about something that I hated.  While I never knew anything about fashion, I paid enough attention to know what she did and didn't like and what she was and wasn't comfortable with wearing.
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Offline kingshmegland

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There's always a way to say you don't like something without hurting the other person.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart

So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam

Offline ChuckSteak

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There's no point to be in a relationship if you can't be honest with each other. Unless you want a relationship builded on lies. But then, is it a healthy relationship? Will it last?

Offline Cool Chris

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There's always a way to say you don't like something without hurting the other person.

True, but there are also people who will choose to be hurt regardless of what they are told, how they at told, and who told them.

Not indicative of the Chinoette or Mrs Cool Chris but some women when told "that dress does not look good on you" will feel it is negative criticism of them and not the dress as the statement was intended.
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Offline TAC

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You could always try the "That looks TOO good on you."  :lol
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums................or WTF.  ;D

Offline kingshmegland

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There's always a way to say you don't like something without hurting the other person.

True, but there are also people who will choose to be hurt regardless of what they are told, how they at told, and who told them.

Not indicative of the Chinoette or Mrs Cool Chris but some women when told "that dress does not look good on you" will feel it is negative criticism of them and not the dress as the statement was intended.

Those relationships with go down like the Titanic.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart

So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam

Offline Phoenix87x

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With my Ex, I could say "oh man, it looks like rain" and she would find a way to take it personal. Not a lot of fun dealing with that.
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Offline ReaperKK

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My gf rarely asks me but when she does I give her my honest opinion. I have poor clothing taste so my opinion holds little value :lol I can hardly dress myself

Offline Adami

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My go to.
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Offline Phoenix87x

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My gf rarely asks me but when she does I give her my honest opinion. I have poor clothing taste so my opinion holds little value :lol I can hardly dress myself

My wardrobe pretty much includes:

1. Pair of blue jeans
2. A plain black t-shirt
3. One pair of tan cargo shorts

4. LOTS of socks
5. Some boxers

So I really am the last person to ask about anything  :lol
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Offline bl5150

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No  :D



My go to.

 :D

Reminds me of an oldie but a goodie

" My bum looks too big in this dress............(looks at hubby)...........pay me a compliment"

"Your eyesight is perfect"

"I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle." - DLR

Offline chknptpie

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Yep - make fun of his Vibram's to his face.

Offline Dublagent66

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Be honest.  That dress is awesome and the chick is hot.  No complaints here.  :hat
Everything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong ...and if nothing has gone wrong...you obviously DON'T UNDERSTAND the situation.

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Offline pg1067

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Be honest.  That dress is awesome and the chick is hot.

The dress is kinda awesome, but "the chick" (Bella Hadid) looks emaciated AF.  She looks like she's been held in captivity without proper nutrition.  Only 110# at 5'9"?  Yuck...you can have her.
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Offline Stadler

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Be honest.  That dress is awesome and the chick is hot.

The dress is kinda awesome, but "the chick" (Bella Hadid) looks emaciated AF.  She looks like she's been held in captivity without proper nutrition.  Only 110# at 5'9"?  Yuck...you can have her.

I'm with you on that one, brother. 

Offline Dublagent66

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Be honest.  That dress is awesome and the chick is hot.

The dress is kinda awesome, but "the chick" (Bella Hadid) looks emaciated AF.  She looks like she's been held in captivity without proper nutrition.  Only 110# at 5'9"?  Yuck...you can have her.

How can something be kinda awesome?  :lol  10 lbs under weight.  BFD.  Still hot and I never said I wanted her.  JFC.
Everything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong ...and if nothing has gone wrong...you obviously DON'T UNDERSTAND the situation.

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Offline kingshmegland

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You know the initials to my real name?! Lol
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart

So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam

Offline TAC

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BFD?
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums................or WTF.  ;D

Offline Harmony

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Tactful but honest is the way to go.  Always remember this is a two-way street so be prepared for 'tactful but honest' back at you.

"Wow, hun-bun I can sure tell how hard you've been working on your fitness goals.  Your ass looks amazing.  But that dress isn't showing you off as well as you might think.  Let's look at some other options.  Let's start with the undergarments."   :-*

Offline cramx3

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I'm always honest, but as others said, I don't need to be brutally honest.  I'm a bad liar as well so if I BS on her outfit, she'll likely know and I've just made things worse. 

Offline pg1067

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Be honest.  That dress is awesome and the chick is hot.

The dress is kinda awesome, but "the chick" (Bella Hadid) looks emaciated AF.  She looks like she's been held in captivity without proper nutrition.  Only 110# at 5'9"?  Yuck...you can have her.

How can something be kinda awesome?  :lol  10 lbs under weight.  BFD.  Still hot and I never said I wanted her.  JFC.

10 pounds wouldn't come close, but fair enough regarding "kinda awesome."



Big fucking deal (I assume).
BFD?
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