Are you a social person?

[wolfking]

Interesting OP!

Kade, you're the last guy I would expect to read an OP like that. But it was very cool, and thanks for sharing. I consider you one of my closer "internet pals" and I found what you said quite moving.

Didn't realize you had a long term girl. Have you guys considered getting married? Is that a thing?

What I thought about while reading and rereading your post is that as you grow up, you really start to realize what is important. Your life becomes it's own filter. Yet, it's natural to feel like maybe you've lost something along the way. And by that, I mean, at 33, you're never going to see 23 again. Realizing that can be a bit jarring.

It's great you have your partner with you. I know having my wife has really helped me a lot.

Me, I'm not social in a sense like I get all personal with people at work. There was a time when I was younger where I might have, but you learn that isn't really a great idea. But I am easy to talk to if you want to talk about music, sports, that kind of thing. I've worked at my company for a long time and have a good reputation.

I'm also generally put off by the type of person that says, "I am who I am and if you don't like it too bad." Or "I'm just being honest." Being cool to people is not pandering. It's fine to guard against assholes in your life, but we are really all in this together, no?

Thanks for the kind words Tim.  Yeah, I know it would have come as a shock, and really, by meeting me, you wouldn't know I would have any sort of issues like this.  Not that's it's an issue, cause it ain't, as you say it's one of those natural things as you get older, and we all come to these times in life of self reflection.  Sometimes sorrow, regret and feelings of lonliness happen to everyone.

I'm pretty private most of the time, but yeah, we've been together a long time, but we're happy how it is and aren't really looking at marriage or anything at this stage.  My perception on life and the world changes too and I have the opinion that getting married isn't an essential thing that two people need to be happy together.  I know it's an debate for another time but understand why people see that as a strange view.

The line you wrote that as I grew up I realize what is important, I guess that's true and a natural part of growing up.  I've always been mature for my age when I was younger and I guess that shows now.  I've had to with my job too, I'm supervising quite a few people 10-20 years older, so you learn and adapt to what's around you to.

Forming friendships at work you are correct, it has burnt me in the past and I've learnt to have a line that doesn't get crossed.  Just difficult that work is my main focus and occupies most of my time.  I'd love to try and join a band again and meet some people that share what we have on here cause I consider you and the other boys great close internet friends too.

I like that last line too.  You can be who you are but there's no need to be a blatant asshole.

[wolfking]

I don't mind socializing, but I'm definitely an introvert whose never had a big circle of friends and needs steady alone time to recharge my batteries. I am pretty bad with talking with acquaintances though, I'd rather strike up a conversation with a complete stranger over some high school classmate I haven't seen in ten years.

Wow, that's really interesting, but I can kind of see where you are coming from.

[wolfking]

*snip - workout rant*
Sorry, off topic there haha.  But these responses and discussion make me feel at ease.

Two simple words mate.

Head.
Phones.

This is partially why I prefer to workout in my home gym.  Sure, not quite the variety of machines and movements, but I've got plenty enough I can do and it's worth it to avoid the fees and ass-wipes.

I've thought about it, but I'm working out with someone most of the time so it's not necessary.  I always like to know and hear my surroundings too, especially when people have no concept of personal space and hit you with weights pushing past you while you're in the middle of a set.

[jingle.boy]

You must workout at one hell of an uncivilized gym!  Most places I've worked out at in the past ... there's always going to be a douche or four around at any given time, but most people are respectful and considerate of the other patrons.

People can be the worst!

[wolfking]

You must workout at one hell of an uncivilized gym!  Most places I've worked out at in the past ... there's always going to be a douche or four around at any given time, but most people are respectful and considerate of the other patrons.

People can be the worst!

You're probably right, probably just the cynic in me and over exaggerating haha.  People can certainly be complete fucktards though.

[SystematicThought]

I remember doing a personality test for one of my management classes at college and for the introverted/extroverted category, it said I was 97% introverted, so you tell me. 

For me, it's the situation. With friends, I'll talk a mile a minute and you wish I'd just shut up. If I'm in a large group, or people I don't know very well, I won't talk at all and if I do, they're very short answers. I probably come off as distant and cold. I'll even go into my shell at family gatherings. I prefer to observe rather than talk and be the life of the party. My mom told me that it may not seem like I'm paying attention, but I'm always observing.

Bottom line is I prefer to be by myself rather than in a group of people. I need time to unwind and recharge after being in a large group. I'm perfectly fine waking up and only having to worry about myself.

I didn't really add anything new to this thread, but it's where I stand on the social spectrum

[lonestar]

Nope, not a bit social. I'll respond politely and engage in conversation when prompted, but will rarely take the initiative. I don't really have any social circles since I quit drinking (used to have a regular bar I frequented) with the exception of work and the AA fellowship. I'm pretty good at being alone though, so I'm cool with things how they are.

[Adami]

Introverts?? On a DT message board?!?!!


WHAT?!?

[wolfking]

I remember doing a personality test for one of my management classes at college and for the introverted/extroverted category, it said I was 97% introverted, so you tell me. 

For me, it's the situation. With friends, I'll talk a mile a minute and you wish I'd just shut up. If I'm in a large group, or people I don't know very well, I won't talk at all and if I do, they're very short answers. I probably come off as distant and cold. I'll even go into my shell at family gatherings. I prefer to observe rather than talk and be the life of the party. My mom told me that it may not seem like I'm paying attention, but I'm always observing.

Bottom line is I prefer to be by myself rather than in a group of people. I need time to unwind and recharge after being in a large group. I'm perfectly fine waking up and only having to worry about myself.

I didn't really add anything new to this thread, but it's where I stand on the social spectrum

I should try and find and do one of those test, I'd be interested in the results, even though I pretty much know, it would be cool.

And yeah, that bolded part about being quiet in family gatherings, that's me all over.  I find it weird but for some reason, I'm always the quiet one.

Nope, not a bit social. I'll respond politely and engage in conversation when prompted, but will rarely take the initiative. I don't really have any social circles since I quit drinking (used to have a regular bar I frequented) with the exception of work and the AA fellowship. I'm pretty good at being alone though, so I'm cool with things how they are.

This post is comforting lonestar.  That bolded line is a big thing.  Since I started training and following a healthy lifestyle, it's amazing how you realise that how much social interaction between humans revolves around alcohol.

Introverts?? On a DT message board?!?!!


WHAT?!?

Haha, yeah, I did think I'd get a lot of the typical answers because of where we are and how a lot of us are obviously like minded with similar interests but making this thread has been a huge help for me.

[Stadler]

Introverts?? On a DT message board?!?!!


WHAT?!?

So, on a related note (and I can start a separate thread if it starts to overwhelm this one), how does everyone's mom decorate her basement?  Couches?  Flowery things?  Or more sparse and Spartan?      

[Prog Snob]

Nope, not a bit social. I'll respond politely and engage in conversation when prompted, but will rarely take the initiative. I don't really have any social circles since I quit drinking (used to have a regular bar I frequented) with the exception of work and the AA fellowship. I'm pretty good at being alone though, so I'm cool with things how they are.

It's exceedingly telling of our society that we're more inclined having social circles where some kind of alcoholic beverage is necessary. Think about it. How many guys get together to hang out and BS over coffee? Excluding the gamer culture that consumes massive amounts of Red Bull and Mountain Dew, of course.

[Logain Ablar]

There's a massive drinking culture here in (Northern) Ireland. Invariably, any work social event always involves going to the pub, so for anyone like me who's not a big drinker, it can get awkward. You either feel under pressure to drink more than you normally would, just to fit in, or if you're a non-drinker it's sometimes easier to avoid the whole event, rather than having to explain why you're drinking coke all night.

Having said that, there's been a real boom in coffee shop culture in the last few years, but none of the coffee shops would stay open as late as the bars do.

[wolfking]

Nope, not a bit social. I'll respond politely and engage in conversation when prompted, but will rarely take the initiative. I don't really have any social circles since I quit drinking (used to have a regular bar I frequented) with the exception of work and the AA fellowship. I'm pretty good at being alone though, so I'm cool with things how they are.

It's exceedingly telling of our society that we're more inclined having social circles where some kind of alcoholic beverage is necessary. Think about it. How many guys get together to hang out and BS over coffee? Excluding the gamer culture that consumes massive amounts of Red Bull and Mountain Dew, of course.

Very true.  You don't see a group of guys sitting around having a yarn at a coffee shop.  It's always out at a pub.  I'd take a coffee over an alcoholic beverage anyday, but coffee shops are IMO more for partners as opposed to mates. 

There's a massive drinking culture here in (Northern) Ireland. Invariably, any work social event always involves going to the pub, so for anyone like me who's not a big drinker, it can get awkward. You either feel under pressure to drink more than you normally would, just to fit in, or if you're a non-drinker it's sometimes easier to avoid the whole event, rather than having to explain why you're drinking coke all night.

Having said that, there's been a real boom in coffee shop culture in the last few years, but none of the coffee shops would stay open as late as the bars do.

That's true mate, it is easier to avoid the whole thing.  Peer pressure can really be a big thing in those sorts of situations and makes the whole thing really not worth while. 

If a group of us go out for a feed or something, I enjoy that, but then 75% of them will head out afterwards to drink, that's when myself and usually another couple of us that aren't into that call it a night tell him to behave themselves and head home.  It's better doing that than tagging along, feeling awkward and doing shit you don't want to do anyway.