Author Topic: *removed for cringe*  (Read 17731 times)

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Offline axeman90210

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #105 on: April 05, 2017, 09:01:29 AM »
I tried to get a DTF Casino trip together a few years ago, but nothing came of it. The offer is still on the table.

That was only last year, and I am still down for it  :lol

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Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #106 on: April 07, 2017, 09:58:29 AM »
I finally found the records I had of making our wedding rings.

When I first asked the future Mrs. P what she'd like her ring to look like, she didn't really know and kind of shrugged. I suspect she didn't think I could really pull it off. So I made this sketch to get her imagination going (she doesn't think spatially as well as some of us). This first draft appealed to my artsy side and she loved the symbolism (it's a private thing between us) in the design but ultimately she had something else in mind.


Hers on the left. Mine on the right.

The drawing served its purpose and she started talking. She really wanted a pear shaped diamond and had always liked "cuff" type jewelry...a little old fashioned but I went with it. After a few attempts I ultimately hit on a design she loved.


Hers top. Mine bottom.


The wax facsimiles. Sorry for the bad photos. Print photography was never my strength.




The wax mounted to the casting sprue and ready to be investment cast.




The finished casting.




Other than the photo of our hands on the marriage certificate I don't have any photos of the finished rings polished and with the stones mounted. By the time the rings were finished, we were pretty close to the wedding date and things were pretty frantic so it just never occurred to me to take a finished product photo.
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Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #107 on: April 07, 2017, 12:57:01 PM »
Does it come with a lantern?   Can you use it to fly and make giant hammers and stuff?



Offline cramx3

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #108 on: April 07, 2017, 12:59:10 PM »
At what point did you cast a spell on them?

In seriousness, that's really cool.

Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #109 on: April 07, 2017, 01:39:15 PM »
Does it come with a lantern?   Can you use it to fly and make giant hammers and stuff?

 ???
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Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #110 on: April 07, 2017, 01:55:33 PM »
Does it come with a lantern?   Can you use it to fly and make giant hammers and stuff?

 ???

I think he's referencing that super hero movie Ryan Reynolds was in.

Offline El Barto

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #111 on: April 07, 2017, 03:25:32 PM »
Does it come with a lantern?   Can you use it to fly and make giant hammers and stuff?

 ???
The wax facsimiles were green.

Cool looking rings, dude.
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Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #112 on: April 07, 2017, 03:36:25 PM »
Ah, comes the dawn.  :)

I forgot to mention one of the biggest bonuses of making our rings. Whenever someone complements Mrs. P on her ring, she beams and points at me and says, "He made it." It never hurts a relationship to give your SO bragging rights.   :biggrin:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #113 on: April 07, 2017, 03:49:56 PM »
Don't really have any advice, just wanted to pop in to say that I agree it's a ridiculous tradition, especially at the price point the tradition is set at.
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Offline cramx3

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #114 on: April 07, 2017, 05:11:14 PM »
Don't really have any advice, just wanted to pop in to say that I agree it's a ridiculous tradition, especially at the price point the tradition is set at.

It's also a completely made up tradition, made up by a Diamond jeweler.

Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #115 on: April 10, 2017, 06:36:10 AM »
Does it come with a lantern?   Can you use it to fly and make giant hammers and stuff?

 ???

I think he's referencing that super hero movie Ryan Reynolds was in.

I can't decide which is worse; Podaar not knowing, or you using THAT MOVIE as the touch point.  :) 

I was a big fan of the Green Lantern comics when I grew up; they had Neil Adams and Mike Grell (two of the best artists ever in the comics) for a period in the 70's and 80's.  Classic stuff.   


Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #116 on: April 10, 2017, 06:41:41 AM »
I have to say, though, even though I'm repeating myself; it's all well and good to blame "shitty tradition" and/or the diamond dealers, but the fact is, it's STILL a tradition.   In my humble experience, not all couples are as deeply honest with each other as they should be, especially when it comes to things like these.   

My rational brain can understand all these points of view, but to be honest, I'm not willing to take the chance that my FIRST grand gesture to her - the woman I profess to love, and for whom I would do ANYTHING in the world - is taking the easy, cheap way out on something that WILL matter to someone in her circle if not her.   Maybe it speaks more about me than I care to admit, but I won't take the chance that she will somewhere someday have someone say "Aw, cute ring; what gumball machine did that come from?" and all because of ME.   My take?   Adhere to the tradition, and if it turns out that she feels like you all do, then we have a great laugh and a story to tell for the rest of our decades together.   

This just seems like low hanging fruit to me, and of all the places to make your Waterloo this doesn't seem like it. 

(Note, Podaar, I don't mean you or your method: that is killer and sweet and romantic.  I'm talking about the "you're getting a $400 trinket, because diamond mines, bloody money and corporate greed, baby.  I love you!")

Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #117 on: April 10, 2017, 06:52:28 AM »
Note, Podaar, I don't mean you or your method: that is killer and sweet and romantic.  I'm talking about the "you're getting a $400 trinket, because diamond mines, bloody money and corporate greed, baby.  I love you!"

My method was more about where we were at financially at the time. I'm completely down with the new tradition. It's true that De Beers started the whole thing with clever advertising, but in my family it was already a three generation tradition by the time I was born.

Make no mistake, I upgraded Mrs. P's stone for our tenth anniversary!  :lol
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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #118 on: April 10, 2017, 09:19:44 AM »
There is not a prayer in hell that I would base ANY of my decisions on something like this on even the faintest HINT of concern for what anyone in her circle of friends may think.  I'm not pledging my life to any of them, so they unless they pledge to start helping pay the bills, their opinions or snide remarks mean zilch.  Now that said, I have gone to her friend(s) for considerably lesser things, to bounce ideas off of them, like birthday parties, etc.  Less consequential things, that I purposely sought their opinions on.

We agreed on a modest sized stone fore Mrs. C's ring with chatham garnets on either side.  Lab-produced garnets look no different and are way less expensive.  The woman who I would do ANYTHING in the world for is someone who deserves that I spend my money wisely, not wastefully.  Despite traditions, expectations, peer pressure, societal impact, or whatever, spending multiple thousands of dollars on a diamond ring is wasteful, in my opinion.

Offline cramx3

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #119 on: April 10, 2017, 09:42:56 AM »
Yea, I am with Coz.  Her friends opinions are the least of my concerns and honestly I am more interested in being with someone who shares that opinion (the opinion of "we don't care what others think").  Granted, I am interested in asking my gf on her opinion on this now haha

Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #120 on: April 10, 2017, 09:56:15 AM »
And for the record, I should note that I do not want anyone to get the impression that I'm bagging on them for doing what they felt was right for themselves, monetarily, traditionally, or whatever.  Whatever has worked for any of you, was obviously the right thing to do.  I don't want my opinion to be taken as any sort of condemnation of the actions of anyone here.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 10:18:59 AM by Sir GuitarCozmo »

Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #121 on: April 10, 2017, 10:14:02 AM »
Agreed. No one way is superior to another, merely fitting for individual circumstances and tastes.

Still, I'd caution anyone about discounting the opinions of your SO's friends and family. It's perfectly understandable, reasonable even, that you don't give a shit of their opinions, but your SO might! Now if they don't care, fine. It just seems prudent not to project your opinion on them.
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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #122 on: April 10, 2017, 10:21:38 AM »
It just seems prudent not to project your opinion on them.

It's equally fair that her friends' opinions not be projected onto me.  Honestly, if a woman's friends' opinion of things like this means enough to her that there would be ANY potential for ruffles, if you didn't get her just the right thing, is that really someone you want to be with?  Maybe some people would.  I don't know.

Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #123 on: April 10, 2017, 10:30:24 AM »
:dunno:

Who can say about the ways of the heart. We love who we love. Like you, I'd probably not be attracted to someone who overly cared for the opinion of others. Still, it is true that my wife does notice reactions of her peers, and adjusts her outward "packaging" (as she calls it) to increase potential favor. Her career is way more political than mine, though, so that might explain some of it. Ultimately, I don't think she spends too much time worrying about their good opinion, but she does it more than I would. I try to be mindful of that.
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Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #124 on: April 10, 2017, 11:09:11 AM »
Respectfully, Coz and Cram, it's a little more than just "pandering to her friends".  I'm with you on that 1000% percent.  My wife and I don't do anything that isn't right by us, FIRST, and if that runs afoul of the gaggle of hens, so be it.  I was going deeper, though, to the heart of human nature.  It's not the friends that I'm worried about.   it's the INFLUENCE of the circle.   We're talking about the moment right before the wedding, when everything is as good as it is ever going to be in 90% of the cases.    I'm talking about later, when the cracks begin to show.  When the little things start to add up and start to annoy.   When the constant reminder of that 'cute little trinket' starts to seep in, like water between the cracks of the tile floor, building up until the wood is rotted and destroyed. 

My daughter is 16 now.  When she was born, we went in at 7 am to be induced, and she was born around 11:30 pm.   My wife at the time could only suck on ice chips and broth.   At about 4:30 or so in the afternoon, a family friend who worked at the hospital came in to see her, and as she left, she said, "Stadler, stop by the nurse's station when you get a minute".   She had some Mexican food, and offered me some.  I ate a little and went back in.  Of course, I'm a male, I'm dumb, so I reeked of enchilada or some shit and the wife noticed.  She gave me a little crap for it, but let it go.   Sure enough, it's 2013 and we're going through a miserable divorce and sure as shit I was the "douchebag that was sitting out yapping with the hot nurses and throwing back burritos while she slaved over the birth of our kid".   I know, it's not rational and not exactly on point, but by way of example, that's more what I was talking about than purely just what her best friend thinks. 

Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #125 on: April 10, 2017, 11:21:57 AM »
'cute little trinket'

Anybody who ever had the nerve to even CONSIDER vocalizing something like this to me or my wife would likely get cut straight out of my life in a hurry.  Fuck you, fuck your sense of entitlement on my wife's behalf, fuck your shoes, fuck your hair, fuck the horse you rode in on, and fuck the street you rode him here on.  If cutting them out altogether just could not be an option, I would not miss an opportunity to let my feelings regarding that person be very, very well known.  There isn't time in life for that kinda shit.

I'm lucky that neither she nor I have friends that would ever consider acting like this, primarily because they're grown-ups and recognize that it what's in your heart that matters, not your hand.  The fact that everybody we know remarks about how happy the two of us are to be together is all I need to hear.  My wife told me she was chatting with a couple ladies at work and the conversation went something like this: 

Coworker 1 says to Coworker 2 "She actually LIKES her husband" and is going on about how she doesn't really know anyone that is married that likes their husband, then Coworker 2 says "Oh, you're still newlyweds" and Mrs. C says that we've been together 11 years, and Coworker 1 says "and you light up every time you talk about him."

THAT was fucking cool to hear.

I get where you're coming from, I really do.  The over-hanging air of doubt that can be cast upon a person unconsciously by their friends opinions about things.  I don't mean to be making light of what you're saying, I just know that there ARE people who give a shit about this "stuff" (ring quality, etc.) and it disgusts me that grown adults, who should be better judges of what's important in life, act like this.  I could see teenagers acting this way.

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #126 on: April 10, 2017, 11:47:54 AM »
But her emails.
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Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #127 on: April 10, 2017, 11:50:32 AM »

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #128 on: April 10, 2017, 11:51:16 AM »
 :rollin :rollin

Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #129 on: April 10, 2017, 12:05:06 PM »
:rollin

Well played.

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #130 on: April 10, 2017, 12:11:12 PM »
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.
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Offline Adami

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #131 on: April 10, 2017, 12:16:09 PM »
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.


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Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #132 on: April 10, 2017, 12:24:26 PM »
*looks around a bit*

...no...
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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #133 on: April 10, 2017, 12:27:20 PM »
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.


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Offline Skeever

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #134 on: April 10, 2017, 06:51:59 PM »
Respectfully, Coz and Cram, it's a little more than just "pandering to her friends".  I'm with you on that 1000% percent.  My wife and I don't do anything that isn't right by us, FIRST, and if that runs afoul of the gaggle of hens, so be it.  I was going deeper, though, to the heart of human nature.  It's not the friends that I'm worried about.   it's the INFLUENCE of the circle.   We're talking about the moment right before the wedding, when everything is as good as it is ever going to be in 90% of the cases.    I'm talking about later, when the cracks begin to show.  When the little things start to add up and start to annoy.   When the constant reminder of that 'cute little trinket' starts to seep in, like water between the cracks of the tile floor, building up until the wood is rotted and destroyed. 

My daughter is 16 now.  When she was born, we went in at 7 am to be induced, and she was born around 11:30 pm.   My wife at the time could only suck on ice chips and broth.   At about 4:30 or so in the afternoon, a family friend who worked at the hospital came in to see her, and as she left, she said, "Stadler, stop by the nurse's station when you get a minute".   She had some Mexican food, and offered me some.  I ate a little and went back in.  Of course, I'm a male, I'm dumb, so I reeked of enchilada or some shit and the wife noticed.  She gave me a little crap for it, but let it go.   Sure enough, it's 2013 and we're going through a miserable divorce and sure as shit I was the "douchebag that was sitting out yapping with the hot nurses and throwing back burritos while she slaved over the birth of our kid".   I know, it's not rational and not exactly on point, but by way of example, that's more what I was talking about than purely just what her best friend thinks.
Not saying there's no validity to what you're saying - there is. But check out this: https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2501480

Of course this is just one little study. But I think there's some truth to it. I've got to imagine that couples who are able to manage their expenses stay together longer and are happier than couples who blow it on the expensive ring, the lavish ceremony, and big house from day one. I have a feeling the guy who spends above his means on the ring to "set the right impression" might just be the same guy who borrows 50k for the lavish ceremony, who takes out the biggest loan the bank will give him for the dream home as newlyweds, and on and on.

I'm expanding the playing field here, but it's only to check the increasingly societal pressures that new couples face. Rings, wedding, ceremonies - it all costs a lot of money. Young couples today have much higher expectations than previous generations, too. It's not enough to just get a big room and to keep the drinks flowing anymore. People want the made for TV deal - the expensive ring, the luxury reality TV wedding, and the picture perfect house - and they are driving themselves into incredible debt to do it. I'm not trying to give guys a pass for being cheap, but I am trying to say that it's perfectly acceptable to draw the line on wedding expenses. The ring itself may be something that neither party cares much about - and it's totally fine to just get something affordable and nice.

Do what you can afford, treat yourself within reason, and let society's expectations be damned. Maybe that means the engagement ring is $500. I'll bet the couple that manages their wants against the expectations of others and "society" is treating themselves to much nicer things for the 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th anniversaries, whereas the couple that lets themselves get swept away by all the manipulative forces surrounded weddings is probably still footing the bill 5 years in.

Offline cramx3

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #135 on: April 11, 2017, 06:46:00 AM »
Do what you can afford, treat yourself within reason, and let society's expectations be damned.

Essentially this.  But what I think is important and why I am not such a huge fan of expensive rings is that it becomes a way of representing love monetarily.  I don't think money and love should ever be mixed.  Same with the person who buys something expensive for their significant other as a way of "showing love" but then the next time you want to show love, you got to buy something more expensive.  You set a pattern for how much your love is worth in $ and I think that always leads to disaster.  Not saying you can't buy nice things, just saying I don't believe we should associate dollars to how much we love each other, or more traditionally, how much a guy loves the girl.

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #136 on: April 24, 2017, 11:41:21 AM »

I guess I'm curious as to why you're choosing to partake in something you know to be ridiculous.

Offline Stadler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #137 on: April 24, 2017, 01:39:54 PM »

I guess I'm curious as to why you're choosing to partake in something you know to be ridiculous.

Because "know" is a subjective term. This isn't "knowing" in the sense of "2+2=4" - it is more correctly, "believe strongly" - and because it's not all about him. 

Offline Podaar

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #138 on: April 24, 2017, 01:56:16 PM »
- and because it's not all about him.

The key to a successful relationship.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2017, 02:02:00 PM by Podaar »
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Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #139 on: April 24, 2017, 01:59:58 PM »

I guess I'm curious as to why you're choosing to partake in something you know to be ridiculous.

*removed for cringe*
« Last Edit: November 04, 2022, 06:47:26 AM by Chino »