Once the planning of the day starts, basically everything is going to boil down to what Victoria, her mom, her sisters, and her aunts want. I will have little say, and the say I do have I'll keep bottled up inside so she can have the day she wants.
This is the kind of bullshit that makes me so very angry at the idea of "weddings". Basically it's a day where everybody celebrates the woman and the man is a complete afterthought, despite being half of the couple. The fact that you would, for one second, have to submit to what her mother, sisters, or aunts want for a day that is as much yours as it is hers, is asinine, with all due respect. And it happens ALL THE TIME. This is why when Mrs. C. and I got married, we said "We're going to the Caribbean and getting married on a beach, for anybody that can afford to join us, you're welcome to do so. If you can't, sorry about your luck." The only concession we made was choosing a slightly less expensive resort to have it at, so that anyone who DID decide to go would not have to spend AS much, but that was not really even an issue. The place was perfect for us.
As far ask asking for a blessing/"permission", eh. I think it's ridiculous also, and I don't think for one second that having a child of my own would change that. If I did and the guy was good to her and made her happy, then their choice to marry has nothing to do with me. You'll prove your respect for me by treating her good enough that she never wants to come back home. I get what people are saying, they put their time in to raise her, etc., but that had nothing to do with you. They chose to be parents and raise a child, completely independent of your existence. The parents having chosen to raise a child doesn't (in my opinion) merit a requirement that a person ask for parental input on a decision that they, as two consenting adults, are going to enter into anyway.
THAT SAID - my opinion is on the expected tradition that "thou shalt ask the father". If she has ANY sort of expectation of you as far as the "dad talk" goes, you have to determine if not doing so is going to upset her in ANY way. Mrs. C. and I knew we would be getting married at some point, so I got my expectations out of the way long before we got engaged, by just outright asking if the dad talk was an expectation of hers. She thought it was as asinine an idea as I did and that was that. If she HAD expected me to do so, despite my not seeing the point, I'd have done it. Not for him, but to lessen the amount of disappointment on her part.
And this whole 2 months' salary thing is a fucking scam. Complete madness. If I spent two months' salary on a ring, that would be that much less to put towards the ACTUAL wedding (and don't get me started on the absolutely stupid amount of money that people literally THROW AWAY for a few hours worth of their time on their wedding day), a honeymoon, a down payment on a home, furnishing expenses, or savings for an emergency. Ridiculous.