Author Topic: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon  (Read 5099 times)

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Offline Chino

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Well gals and gents, it's come to the point and time of my life where I want to purchase a ring for my better half. I need pro tips from the more experienced members here. I'm a pretty cheap bastard and I'm limiting myself to $2000.

Discuss.

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2017, 09:26:44 AM »
Find a reputable jeweler you trust, go in with your budget in mind and sit down with him or her to discuss your options. My advice is to avoid places like Zales, Jared, Kay, etc. because they are just chain stores looking to make commissions and sell big movers. I happened to know a family friend who was a jeweler and he personally searched and got me the diamonds from which I could choose. I picked the setting and the metal from a supplier catalog he let me peruse and that was that. One-of-a-kind ring because it wasn't out of a case. He or she will be able to guide you and let you know what you can get for the budget and what will look best.

My personal preferences as far as look is concerned tend towards classy and elegant: simple cuts like round, oval, marquise, or square cushion. I am personally fond of thre-stone rings, which is what I got my wife. I also prefer white metals, like white gold or platinum (white gold is lighter and less expensive; platinum is HEAVY but valuable). Good luck and have fun with it. :)

FYI the "typical" rule of thumb for an engagement ring is 2 months' salary, though I spent quite a bit more than that on my wife's ring. :lol
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Offline kingshmegland

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2017, 09:29:09 AM »
Good luck with that Brian.  In 1994 I spent $3500.00 on the ring.
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Offline bosk1

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2017, 09:31:00 AM »
1.  Avoid chains like Hyperplex said.
2.  Find out what she likes.
3.  In the event you do not want to do #2 first or it turns out that you are mistaken or that she just flat out changes her mind, find out what the return/exchange policy is and make sure it is in writing prior to purchase.  Many places assume the guy will pick out something he thinks his future bride will like to surprise her, and that the two of them will then come back and jointly shop for something else as her eventual "forever" ring once the wedding date is closer.
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Offline Grappler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2017, 09:34:42 AM »
Well gals and gents, it's come to the point and time of my life where I want to purchase a ring for my better half. I need pro tips from the more experienced members here. I'm a pretty cheap bastard and I'm limiting myself to $2000.

Discuss.

Unlike the above, I did go to Jared.   :lol    I'd imagine most chain stores have a similar policy, but Jared allows us to bring our paperwork back twice per year to have the rings cleaned, and they also perform an inspection on my wife's rings once per year - all free.  They actually found a broken/damaged prong and fixed it.  If they hadn't, she would have likely lost the diamond once it was loose enough to fall out.   They also have a buy-back policy, so if you keep the paperwork, they can buy back the stone in exchange for a new one, if she wants to upgrade and isn't concerned about keeping the original stone.

I had a really nice experience with a very knowledgeable salesman who helped me stick to my budget (about the same as yours) and give me a basic education of diamonds (cut, color, clarity, etc.) .  Rather than go for size, I opted for quality, getting a 1/2 carat diamond that was nearly perfect with only two minor imperfections.  My wife had told me the type of ring she wanted (small baguette/side-stone diamonds) and we found something that I liked (and she did too, once I proposed).

My wife isn't big on jewelry and has small hands/fingers, so the smaller stone looks nice.  Sure, she'd love to be able to say that she has a 1-2 carat diamond to show off, but the stone would look so gaudy on her hand and she'd always be concerned about knocking it into stuff and breaking the prongs or losing the diamond.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 09:42:33 AM by Grappler »

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2017, 09:34:52 AM »
Do people really follow that two month salary rule? That seems absolutely insane to me. I can't imagine buying a ring for more than $12K. I'm unable to wrap my head around that. Two months salary is like half of what I bought a new loaded Mini Cooper for.

As far as reputable dealer, I'm in luck. My mom dated a guy for a few years before meeting my dad and they've remained good friends. He owns a jewelry store in the next town over. I'm pretty sure my dad has bought every piece of jewelry he's ever bought for my mom from him  :lol He'll give me a nice discount if I name drop my mom or bring her into the store with me.

Offline Grappler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2017, 09:36:55 AM »
Do people really follow that two month salary rule? That seems absolutely insane to me. I can't imagine buying a ring for  more than $12K. I'm unable to wrap my head around that. Two months salary is like half of what I bought a new loaded Mini Cooper for.

I didn't.  I think it's bullshit - my wife and I both have a similar financial belief that you should only buy what you think you can afford.  We were saving for a house at the time, so why take money away from that goal just to have a big, expensive ring?

Offline kingshmegland

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2017, 09:39:13 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.
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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2017, 09:39:38 AM »
Literally every tradition that exists in Western society: Chino can't believe it/doesn't agree with it/doesn't see the point.

Consistency is important.

BTW, I got my wife's ring at Zales, spent about a grand (times were tough), and had a great experience, and the wife was thrilled.
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Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2017, 09:40:57 AM »
Do people really follow that two month salary rule? That seems absolutely insane to me. I can't imagine buying a ring for  more than $12K. I'm unable to wrap my head around that. Two months salary is like half of what I bought a new loaded Mini Cooper for.

I didn't.  I think it's bullshit - my wife and I both have a similar financial belief that you should only buy what you think you can afford.  We were saving for a house at the time, so why take money away from that goal just to have a big, expensive ring?

This is where my head's at. Granted we've been in our house for 2.5 years now, but between tree removal, rotting support sills, and needing a new roof, we're looking at $15k over the next 2 years or so. In my opinion, keeping our house standing is more important. And as most of you know, I'm in the middle of trying to get a business off the ground, and the majority of my extra funds are going into that investment. Spending two months salary on a ring is about what I've invested into farming stuff over the last year and a half. Crazyness.

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2017, 09:45:30 AM »
Literally every tradition that exists in Western society: Chino can't believe it/doesn't agree with it/doesn't see the point.

 :lol :lol Hey now. I agree with some. The Fourth of July is a good example. It's just the ones that were created by Hallmark for the sole purpose of draining my wallet that I have a problem with.

Also, in my defense, it's not the ring element that I find stupid. It's the emphasis on that damn diamond. There are so many awesome metals and stone combinations that look just as good if not better than a diamond ring, yet for whatever reason (hint: De Beers in the 30s and 40s), the diamond ring is what we've adopted.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 10:54:25 AM by Chino »

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2017, 09:48:46 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.

Luckily, she has a Pintrest page titled "incase I ever say I do" that's nothing but wedding rings. I have a good template to go by. As for talking to her family members, they will be in the dark until the deed is done. Her entire family is a never ending circle of gossip. Her mother and sisters won't keep their mouths shut, and I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 09:57:25 AM by Chino »

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2017, 09:49:57 AM »
I am of the belief that the intent and emotion in the giving of the ring outweigh the price tag or the size of the stone. If you love her and she you, the ring is merely symbolic, in which case you should always buy what you are comfortable purchasing. My wife has always said she loves the ring but I could have given her aluminum foil and she would have said yes. That is what matters, not the money put into a piece of jewelry.

I made a personal choice to spare no expense on the ring because it was important *to me* to do it. It was part of the meaning, the symbol. It's what I wanted to do for my wife, and I am lucky that she is not the kind of person to place any sort of demand on that. And that's why I love her.
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Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2017, 09:55:26 AM »
Wow...that's big news Brian, congrats!!  :tup   I won't give you any horror stories about marriage because frankly I don't have any to give. Personally, I've been pretty blessed up to this point (this June is 12 years) to have a pretty solid marriage and partner. So, I'm happy to hear this is on the horizon for you!



I didn't adhere to the two month salary deal. I budgeted $2500, saved up that much then found a ring that fit that budget...If I recall correctly I ended up spending $2200 for the ring.

I wanted to surprise my now wife with the ring and the whole proposal, so to make sure I picked a ring she'd like I took her two sisters ring shopping with me. We went to several different jewelers and educated ourselves on the different clarity's and what not....we found a style that we all agreed my wife would like and from there it was a matter of finding the right diamond for the right price. So, if you're looking to surprise Victoria with the whole process...maybe if she has sisters or her mother could help you narrow down what she'd like?

Edit: didn't see the 'keep family members in dark comment before posting'.   the Pinterest page should do the trick for you.

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Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2017, 09:59:43 AM »
What's funny is when my wife and I started talking about the possibility of marriage and all that, I asked her what kind of ring she'd like. She responded that she wanted a yellow gold band with a heart-shaped diamond.

After I stared blankly for a few seconds, I politely informed her that I will not buy her a heart-shaped diamond with a yellow gold band, shared a laugh together, and moved on.

Several years later I picked out the ring and did the usual shenanigans with proposing, and after the fact I asked her, as she looked at her ring, if she would have preferred her heart-shaped diamond, to which she replied she's very glad she let me design and pick the ring, because looking at the one I got made her hate her original idea. :tup
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Offline El Barto

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2017, 10:00:24 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.

Luckily, she has a Pintrest page titled "incase I ever say I do" that's nothing but wedding rings. I have a good template to go by. As for talking to her family members, they will be in the dark until the deed is done. Her entire family is a never ending circle of gossip. Her mother and sisters won't keep their mouths shut, and I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.
Heh, is there a story there that we might find entertaining?  :lol
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Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2017, 10:10:19 AM »
I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.

I'm curious about this one? Is it to 'buck' tradition? If I'm being to nosy just tell me to mind my own F'n business....but I always considered this one of the 'cooler' traditions and looked forward to this near as much as the actual proposal.
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Offline rumborak

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2017, 10:12:16 AM »
Literally every tradition that exists in Western society: Chino can't believe it/doesn't agree with it/doesn't see the point.

Consistency is important.

True, but at the same time it's one of those aspects where you realize that humanity as a whole is hogtied in many ways. I have NEVER heard a single person not say that diamonds are an overpriced racket not worth the money, yet they all buy it. Same with the metric system; I have yet to meet an American who doesn't say "yeah, Imperial is stupid and probably holds us back", but everybody continues the old way.
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2017, 10:13:59 AM »
Give her an onion ring and say " well. things can only get better eh ! "

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2017, 10:17:39 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.

Luckily, she has a Pintrest page titled "incase I ever say I do" that's nothing but wedding rings. I have a good template to go by. As for talking to her family members, they will be in the dark until the deed is done. Her entire family is a never ending circle of gossip. Her mother and sisters won't keep their mouths shut, and I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.
Heh, is there a story there that we might find entertaining?  :lol

This is only going to reinforce Hef's earlier statement, but I just don't see the point or the need to. Long gone are the days where a man's daughter is basically his property and one literally has to ask for him to give her up (usually in an exchange that benefitted him). His daughter is a grown woman who's been living under my roof for 2.5 years already. In my mind, the permission, blessing, whatever you want to call it has already been granted.

I realize this thread makes me come off as a huge asshole, but it's just where my head is at. There are very few things in life that get under my skin more than doing something for no reason other than the sake of tradition. Her family is going to be massively involved in the wedding, and many of our decisions for that day are going to revolve around them and not necessarily what we'd prefer to do. I'm going to have to get on an altar and say stuff to god and eat Jesus on their behalf. This is an important day for me as well. Call it selfish, but I want a little sliver of the process to go my way as well, and that means keeping it a secret at all costs and not asking her father permission.

The ring and the proposal are going to be the only things throughout this entire process that I will have control over, and I want to do it the way I'd like. Once the planning of the day starts, basically everything is going to boil down to what Victoria, her mom, her sisters, and her aunts want. I will have little say, and the say I do have I'll keep bottled up inside so she can have the day she wants.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 10:24:04 AM by Chino »

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #20 on: April 03, 2017, 10:19:42 AM »
Given the nature of how my wife's family works, I basically asked her mother for the blessing, with her father there basically as an honorary attendee (he surrendered his spine, testicles, and any say in any decision ever when he married his wife). He would have been easy to ask; her mother was the obstacle, though obviously, and thankfully, it went well.
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Offline vtgrad

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #21 on: April 03, 2017, 10:22:11 AM »
Blue Nile treated me right... you pick the stone first based on your own guidelines and research (which they promptly have on-site); the experience was so good that I've bought several other "chunks of carbon" from them  :biggrin:.

In my opinion, do the research and clean the ring yourself if you find the occasion to clean it necessary.

If the stone has a good edge on it, carve your initials into the glasses you use during your ceremony (careful not to break of course).

Congrats by the way...
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Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #22 on: April 03, 2017, 10:25:57 AM »
Just occurred to me we are going to be at Pandora: The World of Avatar on the 4 year anniversary of us meeting :chino:

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #23 on: April 03, 2017, 10:40:39 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.

Luckily, she has a Pintrest page titled "incase I ever say I do" that's nothing but wedding rings. I have a good template to go by. As for talking to her family members, they will be in the dark until the deed is done. Her entire family is a never ending circle of gossip. Her mother and sisters won't keep their mouths shut, and I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.
Heh, is there a story there that we might find entertaining?  :lol

This is only going to reinforce Hef's earlier statement, but I just don't see the point or the need to. Long gone are the days where a man's daughter is basically his property and one literally has to ask for him to give her up (usually in an exchange that benefitted him). His daughter is a grown woman who's been living under my roof for 2.5 years already. In my mind, the permission, blessing, whatever you want to call it has already been granted.

I realize this thread makes me come off as a huge asshole, but it's just where my head is at. There are very few things in life that get under my skin more than doing something for no reason other than the sake of tradition. Her family is going to be massively involved in the wedding, and many of our decisions for that day are going to revolve around them and not necessarily what we'd prefer to do. I'm going to have to get on an altar and say stuff to god and eat Jesus on their behalf. This is an important day for me as well. Call it selfish, but I want a little sliver of the process to go my way as well, and that means keeping it a secret at all costs and not asking her father permission.

The ring and the proposal are going to be the only things throughout this entire process that I will have control over, and I want to do it the way I'd like. Once the planning of the day starts, basically everything is going to boil down to what Victoria, her mom, her sisters, and her aunts want. I will have little say, and the say I do have I'll keep bottled up inside so she can have the day she wants.
I maintained 50% control of everything involved in our wedding.  I gave up nothing, and certainly didn't defer to mothers or other relatives.

We picked out colors, flowers, music, food, EVERYTHING, together, and no one else got a vote.  I only intended to get married once, and it was sure as hell not going to include any elements that I didn't approve of or consent to.

Friendly advice: despite the fact that she's been living with you already, you run a risk of pissing her dad off if you don't ask his permission.  Up to you, of course, but it seems like kind of a strange thing over which to risk potential family strife.  Speaking as a man with a 21 year old daughter, if any future fiance of hers doesn't ask MY permission, he shall know of my disdain for his lack of respect.

Of course, you know him, so you know if he is traditionally minded or not.
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Offline bosk1

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #24 on: April 03, 2017, 10:42:00 AM »
Just occurred to me we are going to be at Pandora: The World of Avatar on the 4 year anniversary of us meeting :chino:

Well...why wouldn't you?  :lol
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Offline bosk1

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #25 on: April 03, 2017, 10:45:49 AM »
Friendly advice: despite the fact that she's been living with you already, you run a risk of pissing her dad off if you don't ask his permission.  Up to you, of course, but it seems like kind of a strange thing over which to risk potential family strife.  Speaking as a man with a 21 year old daughter, if any future fiance of hers doesn't ask MY permission, he shall know of my disdain for his lack of respect.

Of course, you know him, so you know if he is traditionally minded or not.

Yeah, I was going to offer something along somewhat-similar lines:  I wouldn't view it as necessarily asking his "permission," but more as you just showing "respect" to him as a member of her family.  I might suggest something along the lines of just having a conversation with him and telling him something along the lines of what you said above.  Tell him that, for your own reasons, you think the tradition of asking permission is outdated and doesn't really fit out society or your specific relationship, but that, notwithstanding that, you can understand and appreciate that it could potentially matter to some people, and as a show of respect for the fact that, in essence, the two of you are merging your two families together, you wanted to express your intentions to him.  Not as asking permission, but, again, as a show of mutual respect.  Or something along those lines.  Just something to think about. 
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Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #26 on: April 03, 2017, 10:51:59 AM »
Quality of the diamond matters.  ask about the grading and sneak around to find out if your gal likes raise or a lowered diamond.  Ask her family members or friends you can trust not to spill the beans.

Luckily, she has a Pintrest page titled "incase I ever say I do" that's nothing but wedding rings. I have a good template to go by. As for talking to her family members, they will be in the dark until the deed is done. Her entire family is a never ending circle of gossip. Her mother and sisters won't keep their mouths shut, and I don't plan on asking her dad for permission.
Heh, is there a story there that we might find entertaining?  :lol

*snip*

I maintained 50% control of everything involved in our wedding.  I gave up nothing, and certainly didn't defer to mothers or other relatives.

We picked out colors, flowers, music, food, EVERYTHING, together, and no one else got a vote.  I only intended to get married once, and it was sure as hell not going to include any elements that I didn't approve of or consent to.

Friendly advice: despite the fact that she's been living with you already, you run a risk of pissing her dad off if you don't ask his permission.  Up to you, of course, but it seems like kind of a strange thing over which to risk potential family strife.  Speaking as a man with a 21 year old daughter, if any future fiance of hers doesn't ask MY permission, he shall know of my disdain for his lack of respect.

Of course, you know him, so you know if he is traditionally minded or not.

What would you consider disrespectful about it? I'm not trying to bait here, I'm genuinely curious. I'm failing to understand why another grown man would need your permission to ask your adult daughter to make an adult decision on her own. Based on your activity here and on Facebook, I'm guessing your daughter has a very good head on her shoulders and sound decision making abilities. She can decide whether she wants to marry someone with or without your consent.

Offline Kotowboy

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #27 on: April 03, 2017, 10:52:44 AM »
Just occurred to me we are going to be at Pandora: The World of Avatar on the 4 year anniversary of us meeting :chino:

Well...why wouldn't you?  :lol

Chino's watch is always set to pandora time ! ;)

Offline Elite

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #28 on: April 03, 2017, 10:53:04 AM »
I first read the thread title as 'carton' and wondered what the hell you were up to now :lol

I have no experience, so I have nothing constructive to add to the thread, but congrats on your decision to ask her to marry you regardless. I wish you all the best :) :tup
Hey dude slow the fuck down so we can finish together at the same time.  :biggrin:
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Offline mikeyd23

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #29 on: April 03, 2017, 10:58:34 AM »
First off - congratulations! I've seen you post stuff about your girlfriend before, and it seems like you guys are good for each other.

I'll echo what has already been said based on my experience as a fiance, husband, and father of a daughter (albeit a young one).

- Find a good, local, family jeweler, not a chain store.

- I did not spend 2 months salary, and I agree with you, that's crazy to me.

- Ask her dad. You stand to gain nothing from not asking his permission, you stand to lose something by not. Just play it safe.

Offline Grappler

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2017, 10:59:01 AM »
Friendly advice: despite the fact that she's been living with you already, you run a risk of pissing her dad off if you don't ask his permission.  Up to you, of course, but it seems like kind of a strange thing over which to risk potential family strife.  Speaking as a man with a 21 year old daughter, if any future fiance of hers doesn't ask MY permission, he shall know of my disdain for his lack of respect.

Of course, you know him, so you know if he is traditionally minded or not.

Yeah, I was going to offer something along somewhat-similar lines:  I wouldn't view it as necessarily asking his "permission," but more as you just showing "respect" to him as a member of her family.  I might suggest something along the lines of just having a conversation with him and telling him something along the lines of what you said above.  Tell him that, for your own reasons, you think the tradition of asking permission is outdated and doesn't really fit out society or your specific relationship, but that, notwithstanding that, you can understand and appreciate that it could potentially matter to some people, and as a show of respect for the fact that, in essence, the two of you are merging your two families together, you wanted to express your intentions to him.  Not as asking permission, but, again, as a show of mutual respect.  Or something along those lines.  Just something to think about.

On another note, sometimes dads don't earn that respect that they want to receive by asking for permission.  Why should I have shown respect to someone that doesn't treat their own daughter with respect?

This is one of two reasons that I didn't ask my wife's dad for his permission.  The other is that I didn't need it, either from her dad or her stepdad.  I love my wife, their approval or disapproval isn't going to change my decision - I'd marry her even if either of them would have said no.

I have a daughter.  When she's older, I'd like for the guy to ask me, but I'm not going to be upset if he doesn't.  It's just an outdated tradition.




Offline Zook

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2017, 11:04:33 AM »
Do people really follow that two month salary rule? That seems absolutely insane to me. I can't imagine buying a ring for more than $12K. I'm unable to wrap my head around that. Two months salary is like half of what I bought a new loaded Mini Cooper for.

Your 2 month salary is $12,000, and you're still a cheap bastard?

Offline gmillerdrake

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #32 on: April 03, 2017, 11:05:25 AM »
What would you consider disrespectful about it? I'm not trying to bait here, I'm genuinely curious. I'm failing to understand why another grown man would need your permission to ask your adult daughter to make an adult decision on her own. Based on your activity here and on Facebook, I'm guessing your daughter has a very good head on her shoulders and sound decision making abilities. She can decide whether she wants to marry someone with or without your consent.

I don't have daughters, but I do have kids. And I think once you have kids (if that's what you guys decide to do) you will understand it on a different level. Your reasoning behind why you don't see the need to 'ask permission' is perfectly logical. But, you have to keep in mind that Victoria is that mans daughter, someone he has cared for...nurtured...worried about....laughed with....watched grow up, on and on. Certainly he's proud of who she's become and knows she has the right to choose who she marries and that she's a grown person. But the 'respect' being hinted at is just that. It'd show respect to a man who has sacrificed and dedicated his life essentially to making sure his daughter had every opportunity to succeed, had love..had it all.

It wouldn't be a 'please can I marry your daughter'. It'd be a 'thank you for raising such an incredible person, so incredible in fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with her'.
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #33 on: April 03, 2017, 11:05:35 AM »
Just do what I do !!

Be unattractive, boring worthless and annoying af !!! Nobody will want you !!!

Wedding ring stores will go bankrupt !!!

U MAD BRAH ?

Offline Chino

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Re: The ridiculous 'tradition' of buying a overpriced chunk of carbon
« Reply #34 on: April 03, 2017, 11:13:16 AM »
Do people really follow that two month salary rule? That seems absolutely insane to me. I can't imagine buying a ring for more than $12K. I'm unable to wrap my head around that. Two months salary is like half of what I bought a new loaded Mini Cooper for.

Your 2 month salary is $12,000, and you're still a cheap bastard?

Yeah. If it's not a remote control monster truck or doesn't serve a practical purpose, I see no reason to spend money just because I can. When it comes to a ring, if I had $5000 in my pocket, I'd preferably spend $500 on the ring, $500 on a weekend getaway, and put $4000 in my Fidelity account. Whether $500 or $5000, that ring's function and purpose will never change. However, $4000 plus interest in my Fidelity account could be a couple semesters worth of classes for any future child I may have.