Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes

[jingle.boy]

Don't trip, a few shots will get rid of these shakes right quick...

Reminds me of the movie Flight.

[MetalJunkie]

We have arrived in Texas.

[TAC]

What section of the plane did you seat the passengers with Covid?

[TAC]

I've fallen and I can't get up.

[Podaar]

Doug, take the controls. I need to respond in the Scenes from a Hat thread!

[gmillerdrake]

I tell you what Mike....if that new stewardess keeps bending over like that at the supply closet I'm going to have a hard time controlling my fuselage

[DragonAttack]

Practicing his Arabic on a North American flight.

"I don't care, I think Patrick Mahomes is the GOAT"

[jingle.boy]

Gregg's double entendre nearly had it, until someone pulled out the Airplane! reference.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

You're up, Heffarino.

[hefdaddy42]

Holy shit!

Standings:
jingle.boy   65
gmillerdrake   47
lonestar   25
Podaar   24
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland   23
Stadler  16
Cool Chris   14
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam   10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
Zydar   7
Snow Dog   7
JayOctavarium   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Vmadera 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1

Government jobs you do NOT want

[gmillerdrake]

Lead Inspector - Department of Colostomy Bag Inspection

[TAC]

Secretary Of Orange for the Trump Administration.

[Podaar]

IT Director for the Secret Service.

Press Secretary for Marjory Taylor Green

[gmillerdrake]

Bravo Leader of Ensure Unit - Tasked to assure that President Biden never runs out of Ensure

[Snow Dog]

Texas power grid laborer

Defense attorney for PG&E

Bernie Sanders' hairstylist

[DragonAttack]

 The one I left twenty years ago 

[Lonk]

NYC Rat Overlong

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/02/nyregion/nyc-rat-control-job.html

[Podaar]

United States House of Representatives Timekeeper

[hefdaddy42]

Sorry, guys.  Things have been crazy.

United States House of Representatives Timekeeper

Winner!

[Podaar]

Thanks, Hef.

Standings:
jingle.boy   65
gmillerdrake   47
lonestar   25
Podaar   25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland   23
Stadler  16
Cool Chris   14
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam   10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
Zydar   7
Snow Dog   7
JayOctavarium   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
DebraKadabra   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Vmadera 3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1

New scene: The White House Chief of Staff walks into the oval office and says, "Mr. President, I've got some good news and some bad news..."

[jingle.boy]

The good news is the shitter is free; the bad news is that Kamala just dropped a bomb in there.

The good news is McCarthy hasn't won the vote yet; the bad news is that Pelosi is trying to find enough Dems to vote for him so she can make her Friday evening Pilates class.

[gmillerdrake]

"The good news is we now have larger que cards with an easier font for you to regurgitate words off of, the bad news is you have no cognitive ability to actually read them....."

"The good news is you only have 669 more days of failing miserably as a president, The bad news is that orange a$$hole is trying to get back in here..."

"The good news is you're old and senile and won't remember this conversation,  the bad news is Elon now has access to Hunter's laptop as well......."

[Lonk]

"The good news is that your super bowl party invites went out to everyone in congress, the bad news is everyone said yes. We'll need porta-patties".

[Podaar]

"The good news is that your super bowl party invites went out to everyone in congress, the bad news is everyone said yes. We'll need porta-patties".

Winner.

[Lonk]

 

Standings:
jingle.boy   65
gmillerdrake   47
lonestar   25
Podaar   25
TempusVox 23
kingshmegland   23
Stadler  16
Cool Chris   14
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
TAC 10
TheSilentHam   10
masterthes 9
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
Zydar   7
Snow Dog   7
JayOctavarium   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   5
Soupytwist 4
Jarlaxle 4
Vmadera 4
DebraKadabra   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
hefdaddy42 3
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
AngelBack 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Indiscipline 1
DragonAttack 1

New scene: You are invited as a guest speaker for a high school graduation. You get nervous and the first sentence you say is...

[Cool Chris]

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

[jingle.boy]

"San Dimas High School Football Rules!"

"Would ya get a look at all the poontang here!"

[gmillerdrake]

"Wow....strange to be back here.....to think I got a BJ from the Home Economics teacher just right over there.........."

[TAC]

I was in jail and missed my graduation.

[gmillerdrake]

"I  have to make this quick because 'technically' I'm not supposed to be within 1000 foot of any school"

[jingle.boy]

"Principal Peterson ... nice pants.  That was weird.  I take back what I said about those pants, okay? Not that they're not nice pants. I mean, of course they are. They're great pants, you know. I just don't want you to think that all I'm doing is looking at your pants. I'm also looking at your face, and-and your shirt, your tie, all of which are lovely. Like a manly kind of lovely. You know what I mean? Good Lord, I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm gonna laugh about that one tonight. And I'm sure you will, too, when you take those pants off tonight. Not that I'm thinking about you taking your pants off! Nothing could be further from the truth! I mean, well, now, don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I would be grossed out if you took your pants off. Go ahead, run around naked for all I care! After all, you'll do whatever you want to do. You're Principal Peterson, for crying out loud!  ♪ With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone ♪ ♪ This old man came rolling home! ♪"

[TAC]

"I  have to make this quick because 'technically' I'm not supposed to be within 1000 foot of any school"

[Cool Chris]

Is jingle's quote a Big Bang Theory thing?

[jingle.boy]

Is jingle's quote a Big Bang Theory thing?

No

[Cool Chris]

I googled Principal Peterson nice pants and got a couple results showing Sheldon. Another reference or did you type all that up?

[Lonk]

"Principal Peterson ... nice pants.  That was weird.  I take back what I said about those pants, okay? Not that they're not nice pants. I mean, of course they are. They're great pants, you know. I just don't want you to think that all I'm doing is looking at your pants. I'm also looking at your face, and-and your shirt, your tie, all of which are lovely. Like a manly kind of lovely. You know what I mean? Good Lord, I'm not making much sense, am I? I'm gonna laugh about that one tonight. And I'm sure you will, too, when you take those pants off tonight. Not that I'm thinking about you taking your pants off! Nothing could be further from the truth! I mean, well, now, don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I would be grossed out if you took your pants off. Go ahead, run around naked for all I care! After all, you'll do whatever you want to do. You're Principal Peterson, for crying out loud!  ♪ With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone ♪ ♪ This old man came rolling home! ♪"

Sorry for the delay, but this is the kind of stuff I was thinking 

You're up