... and there ain'r no reindeer either. Grandma just flat out got run over.
The mill's closed, and not only do I have to sell you for scientific experiments, but Santa (like meteorology) is a hoax.
Kid, remember that broken leg I had last year? It's cuz I fell off the roof planting fake footprints up there.
Santa got Type-2 diabetes sometime back in the '40s. Us parents have been doing all the gift giving since then.