Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes

[gmillerdrake]

OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......

[jingle.boy]

OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......

"Hi, I'm OJ Simpson, here to tell about the wonderful world of Ginsu..."

Paying Attention: You suck at it.

[gmillerdrake]

Hi, Lars Ulrich here....and I want to introduce you to the worlds most accurate watch that keeps perfect time.....

[gmillerdrake]

OJ Simpson here to tell you about the new line of 'Ginzu' Steak Knives.......

"Hi, I'm OJ Simpson, here to tell about the wonderful world of Ginsu..."

Paying Attention: You suck at it.

    Guess I should have jumped back a page huh?          sorry Snow Dog...I'm a 

[Snow Dog]

"Do you struggle with your golf game? Looking to cut a few strokes from your score? Trying to get rid of that nasty slice or hook? Then you need SwingRite, the complete golf tool guaranteed to fix that turribull swing. Here with your host, Charles Barkley!"

"Floyd Mayweather here to... to tal- talk to you ab... ab... abowt how Hookt on Fonnix wor... werked for me..."

[jingle.boy]

I'm Connor McGregor.  Do you struggle with humility?  If so, I have just the thing for you.

It's new and improved Rogaine Hour, with Telly Savalas.

[King Postwhore]

Hi, I'm John Holmes and let me introduce you to the the diaphragm.

[jingle.boy]

Kotowboy shows you how to be happy in just 3 minutes a day.

Join Kingshmegland's Dollar Shave Club for $5 a day.

Learn to type like Kingshmegland

Motivation by BlobVanDam

[King Postwhore]

I can teach you how to trust auto correct and never proof read for 4 installments of $49.95!

[TAC]

I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.

[jingle.boy]

I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.

Order in the next 10 minutes, and you'll also get a 5 foot poster of his classic "Hunk of the Month" promo shot.  It's laminated, so you can hang it in the shower where it will get the most use.



But wait... there's more!  Free shipping to Australia, UK and Canada.  We gotta get these things out of the U.S.

[TAC]

I'm TAC, and you'll want two copies of "Winger's Classics" ... one to play, and one to slap yourself with - you don't want to accidentally seal the CD case shut.

Order in the next 10 minutes, and you'll also get a 5 foot poster of his classic "Hunk of the Month" promo shot.  It's laminated, so you can hang it in the shower where it will get the most use.



But wait... there's more!  Free shipping to Australia, UK and Canada.  We gotta get these things out of the U.S.

The um..package seems to be very popular in the Brisbaine area.

[gmillerdrake]

Have you ever wanted to invest in the Market but didn't know where to start? Hi, I'm Martha Stewart and my new book 'Investing 1-2-3" will teach you all the tricks of the trade....

[jingle.boy]

Welcome to the Animal Shelter Rescue Hour.  And now here's your host, Michael Vick.

Hooked on Phonics IV, by Mike Tyson.

[jingle.boy]

Have you ever wanted to invest in the Market but didn't know where to start? Hi, I'm Martha Stewart and my new book 'Investing 1-2-3" will teach you all the tricks of the trade....

With contributions from Martin Shkreli and Bernie Madhoff.

[TAC]

Hi, I'm Taylor Swift. Have you ever wanted to grab someone's ass?

[Snow Dog]

"Hi, I'm Donald Trump. Have you ever wanted to grab someone's pussy?"

[TempusVox]

"Do you struggle with your golf game? Looking to cut a few strokes from your score? Trying to get rid of that nasty slice or hook? Then you need SwingRite, the complete golf tool guaranteed to fix that turribull swing. Here with your host, Charles Barkley!"

Winner!! You're up Dog.

[Snow Dog]

Thank you, sir!


Standings
jingle.boy   42
gmillerdrake   41
lonestar   25
TempusVox 19
kingshmegland   17
Podaar   15
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   7
Zydar   6
TheSilentHam   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
Soupytwist 4
JayOctavarium   4
DebraKadabra   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
Cool Chris   3
Stadler  3
Snow Dog 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1


Next scene:
Things not to say as someone is giving birth

[JayOctavarium]

Oh God! It looks like Joe!

[jingle.boy]

What's that smell?

[gmillerdrake]

For the record I actually said this:

****Leans in close to her ear and while tenderly holding her hand says****

" You just pooped"

[Cool Chris]

Mrs Cool Chris will be giving birth sometime next month. Will follow this round closely.

[King Postwhore]

Oh God! It looks like Joe!

So he's handsome!



I took out life insurance on you last week.

[jingle.boy]

Pipe down woman, it can't hurt THAT much.

[King Postwhore]

Can you put on the football game?

[jingle.boy]

When you're finished here, howsabout you fix us up some sammiches?

[JayOctavarium]

"hey hun, you in the mood?"

[TAC]

Gee, I didn't even know you were pregnant.

[TempusVox]

Are you sure it's mine?

[TempusVox]

Hey Doc, if I give you a 50 can you put in a couple extra stitches for me?

[Stadler]

<From a payphone at the local bar>  "Hello?  Who?   From where?"

[gmillerdrake]

I think I saw a stalagmite.....or stalagtite....anyway.....

[jingle.boy]

Can you hurry a little?  I got a tee-time to make.

[gmillerdrake]

Looks like I'll be needing a snorkel in the future....