So flying home through El Paso, Texas on Monday I either:
a. Dropped my wallet in the rest room just prior to entering the line for security. Or,
b. had it lifted by an extremely crafty and gifted pick-pocket (which is highly unlikely because I don't carry my wallet where it can be easily lifted).
Either way, I suddenly realized that I was without it. So, after panicking and notifying the airport police, who went immediately into action, checking tapes, and having several officers run around and actually look for it; I had to go through security.
My wife went through the normal process, yet I was pulled aside, where a "Supervisor' had me fill out some forms, basically attesting to the fact that I was who I said I was. She then told me that she was going to call the "Regional Office" who "will patch me through to DC, and they'll ask me to ask you a series of questions."
Still freaked at the fact that I'd lost some very important things that I had in my wallet, part of me was thinking, "Like what, algebraic equations?"
After we dispatched with name, primary address, social security number, and date of birth, things got interesting.
I was asked the following:
Make, model, and color of all of your vehicles.
What was the last car your wife purchased?
What colleges have you attended?
What are the addresses of your other properties?
Where did your wife go to graduate school?
What sorority did your wife belong to? (REALLY???)
Where does your son attend college?
What do you do for a living? (then the follow-up) Name the titles of some of your books?
What is your primary residence land-line phone number? When I explained we no longer had a land-line the response was "They know, what was the former number?"
When was the last time you were out of the country and where did you go?
Then this happened, "Do you have any pets?"
Me..."Are you serious?"
TSA Chick... "Yes Sir"
Me..."Yes...we have pets"
TSA Chick..."What are their names?"
Me..."Are you messing with me?"
TSA Chick: "No"
So I told her my pets names
After that question we were finished. However, I still had to go through the xray machine, and then I was taken aside and thoroughly frisked while 2 other agents did the "bomb swab' on every single item I had in my carry-on. Lip balm-swabbed. Ball point pen-swabbed. Headphones-swabbed. Books- all three swabbed. pack of tissue-swabbed, etc,etc,etc,. This went on for about 30 minutes.
I get it. I really do, but all I had done was lose my ID. I know they have my photo somewere. They have facial recognition software. They could easily compare me to the same guy who had passed through that very airport only 6 days earlier.
But the thing that blew my mind was all of the information that they apparently have on each of us. I mean. Pets?? Really???
I've considered that they had no idea if I have any pets, but they may have been wanting to see my reaction to the question. But I'm leaning toward they actualy knew my pets names. Scary shit.