The bullying was just something that came along with being a very short kid. I was just a tiny kid that was a magnet for the ‘big’ kids to pick on. Looking back on it sure it sucked but it made me pretty tough because I was in a fight or wrestling match at least once a week for pretty much the duration of my elementary schooling. But I’ve used that experience to help with raising my own kids so I’m actually thankful for it.
My bullying sucked as kid. I went to a catholic school and was with the same, small group of 18 kids for 9 years. I was the only fat kid in class, was socially awkward, and was a very easy target. I tried to defend myself once and got the shit kicked out of me and choked on the ground in front of everyone. It fucked with me really bad. I stopped trying to be friends with others and just found it easier to be alone and commented on from afar rather than trying to insert myself into groups only to get constantly ripped on. That followed me through high school, where the bullying persisted, but in a slightly different form. It was less direct name calling and more physiological. At gym I'd always get picked for the skins team in basketball so I had to take my shirt off and stuff like that. I hated it.
As ass backwards as this sounds, and for as many problems that alcohol created for me in college, boozing up was the only thing that allowed me to get out of that mindset. For the first time in life I was able to comfortably try and socialize and work my way into new groups of people.
I'm not saying this applies to you, and I get "kids will be kids", but being constantly bullied as a kid can mess people up a lot more than I think most people realize, especially those who weren't bullied much. It made me not want to go to school, it made me not want to be around others, it trained me to think there was something inherently wrong with the way I was, it made me hate myself, it made me jealous, it made me angry, and it really inhibited by ability to form relationships with other humans.
I'm just thankful camera phones and Twitter weren't a thing back then.
Is it insensitive or uncaring to suggest there's bullying, and there's "bullying"? I sort of think that - based on how you describe it - that's bullying. I was short and skinny up into high school, and while I played sports (and was good at them) I was also in the "brain" classes, so rather than be "in" two groups, I was "out" of two groups. So I got made fun of, and left out, and everyone always said that "Ann Lazer (she was also short) and I would have to marry and we'd have midget kids" (funny enough, she turned out to be HOT, oh well) but while it made me tougher in the long run, I don't have any of the experience that you did, and so I hesitate to even call it bullying. It's more "bullying". Is there a legit difference?
I ask this because I have two kids still in school, and a third that just graduated a year or so ago. The oldest of those was hardcore bullied, to the point she missed half her senior year of high school, and but for the fact that her school sucked, and needed the "numbers", she likely wouldn't have graduated. The other two are more akin to Gary and I. And I struggle with that; what's the difference, if any? Should I be doing anything different? What about the "anti-bullying culture"? Do I now HAVE to act on behalf of my other daughter and step son, for fear they'll see the stories and think, "Dad, where the f--- were you??" I suppose it's a matter of degrees, but some of what I see as "bullying" is hard to accept as such, but then I hear stories like yours, Chino, and my step daughter (yes, we did a lot, including involving the police), and realize it's a real thing.