Author Topic: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)  (Read 51050 times)

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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)
« Reply #700 on: November 03, 2022, 01:17:31 PM »
Hang in there, my dude.
Hef is right on all things. Except for when I disagree with him. In which case he's probably still right.

Offline Orbert

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Re: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)
« Reply #701 on: November 03, 2022, 02:30:41 PM »
Thanks, man.  I try not to let it get me down, but there's only so long you can do something, even something you really like, if it doesn't seem to be leading anywhere.  Those recent open mic gigs kinda re-stoked me for a while, but then when they led to nothing, the feeling of futility returned.

Offline Orbert

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Re: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)
« Reply #702 on: November 17, 2022, 08:32:22 AM »
Last Wednesday, John was in town and met with David and me for dinner, so we had a mini band reunion.  When he called, my first inclination was to get out of it.  Patty and I had a practice scheduled that night which I'd already told Patty we'd have "for sure" because we missed the previous week for reasons I don't remember now and am too lazy to lookup, so that was my excuse and I told John when he called that I'd have to check with Patty.  It's weird.  I played in a band with John for five or six years, but I don't know if I ever considered him a friend.  We were the members of "his" band, and after watching him replace members many times over the years, I felt more like an employee than a bandmate.  We never hung out socially; we're way too different.  But it's also hard to make music with someone for that long and not feel something, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go.  I kinda felt like doing it because it meant so much to John, who definitely considered me a friend and not just a bandmate.  So I told Patty about it and she said to go; after all, we don't have any gigs coming up or anything.  True.

During dinner, we each caught the others up on what we've been doing.  John mentioned that Jerry and JT were also invited, but both found reasons to not attend, which didn't surprise him.  John shared some more details about how the great mess of 2020 went down, and I guess Jerry and JT being replaced for those gigs (which never happened) was not as amicable as I'd been led to believe.  Apparently it got pretty ugly for a while, and actually contributed to John's decision to just break up the band and move to Tennessee.  I try to stay clear of the drama, so maybe I had a rose-colored view of things, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't presented to me that way originally.

Out in the parking lot after, it's hugs all around.  Man-hugs, of course, but as John's hugging me he says "I love you, man.  It was so great to see you again."  Very warm, very genuine.  I told him it was great to see him, too.  I didn't tell him that I kinda liked him but always thought he was a mediocre guitarist at best.


Yesterday afternoon, I'm looking at the calendar and it's Wednesday again, and theoretically rehearsal night with Patty.  I usually send a text asking if we're still on, she confirms and gives me an ETA, and I get mentally ready.  I haven't played anything band-related since our last rehearsal, a month ago now.  I haven't wanted to.  There doesn't seem to be a point.  I realize in that moment that I don't want to rehearse.  I realize in that moment that there doesn't seem to be any point to continuning, since we've apparently exhausted every avenue available to us.  Patty found the smokehouse, but I found the taphouse which we played a few weeks later, and also the other two places which we were supposed to try.  But Patty never seemed very interested in digging up gigs, and I probably could've, but it's hard for me to take on work that I was told would be taken care of, and I know it would be harder still to do that work and see it amount to nothing.  A year and a half, an amazing debut gig over a year ago, a pretty good one a few months later, then some open mics and a whole lot of nothing.  Both gigs, and every open mic we've played, all told us how great we were and they wanted us back, and every one of them ghosted us.  Fuck venues.  How can you tell someone to their face that you thought they were great and you want them back, and then just ignore their calls and emails?  Or get back to them with some shit about how everything's already booked (when you were supposed to be in those bookings)?

So I texted Patty and told her I was losing enthusiasm for the project and thinking we needed to take a break.  I always get very busy around the holidays, mostly doing musical stuff with the church but also family stuff and other holiday stuff.  Pretty lame to give excuses like that, but I felt like I should say something.  And I really was thinking in terms of a break, maybe resume after the holidays or in the spring when gigs might open up again.  Patty wrote back saying she understood, then followed it a few minutes later with another saying she'd told (the other) Bob that I'd broken up with her, lol.  Hey, high school was a long time ago for me, and I'd forgotten that "taking a break" for some people means "breaking up".  But I guess that's how she took it (she said she'd enjoyed our time together, it was fun, blah blah blah), and I was surprised, but also felt a sense of relief.  Is it over?  It can be.  I could write back and say that that's not what I meant, or I could let it be.  I chose to let it be.

Offline Stadler

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Re: The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)
« Reply #703 on: November 17, 2022, 08:36:19 AM »
I didn't tell him that I kinda liked him but always thought he was a mediocre guitarist at best.


That's why I love you - platonically - Orbert, and I read everything you write.  :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)