The Saga of Orbert's Band (now with A New Development)

[Stadler]

What's going to be your angle?   "The Admiral and Patty" and you wear a sailor's cap?      "Her & He" like Zooey Deschanel's duo?  "The Sheetrockers" and you pretend to be brother and sister like Karen and Richard?   

[Orbert]

"The Admiral and Patty" and you wear a sailor's cap?      "Her & He" like Zooey Deschanel's duo?  "The Sheetrockers" and you pretend to be brother and sister like Karen and Richard?   

You are a silly person.

I'm not going to impersonate an officer, and we would never pass for brother and sister, so that wouldn't work either.  Patty thought we should come up with a name for the act, but I was assuming we would gig under her name.  She's the singer; I'm just the piano player.  Anywhere we go, any place we play, they'll see her up there, singing, and it's her singing that will make or break the act.  Yeah, there's some Asian guy playing the piano too, but he's just the piano player.

I told her that if she really wants to give me some kind of recognition, we could gig as "Patty and Bob".  Simple, even kinda catchy.  If I take a solo here or there, it would fit, since I'm named in the act.  But really, this is her gig.  Right now, I'm just psyched to be making music with someone, just as I was fine jamming in John's basement seven years ago, before it became a commercial enterprise.

[Orbert]

First practice went really well.

Had an address and a general idea where her place is; Google Maps took me to a row of townhouse/condos, the kind with their own single-car garage and a bit of space both upstairs and down.  She was standing out front of the open garage, gesturing for me to just park there across the street.  Perfect, because I load and unload from the driver's side.  Inside the garage, about half of it is covered by a big woven mat of some kind.  Kinda like burlap, but big and thick, almost like wicker.  It was 75 degrees, sunny and breezy, so this was perfect.  She's got a stand and a chair at one end, I set up my piano at the other end of the mat.  No masks; we're both fully vaccinated.  It was comfortable in the garage.  Perfect weather.

Chatted a bit as I set up, chatted in between songs, got to know each other a bit.  She lives there alone with her bird, Pete.  She's single, and straight (she shared an anectdote where that information was important).  In a little under three hours, we got through all 17 songs, most a couple of times, some took a little more work, but overall it went smoothly.  We'd agreed via messenger beforehand that we're doing "covers" to start with, meaning original key, original arrangement as much as possible, except with only a single vocalist and me being the band.  Some of the songs have guitar solos or little breaks in them, so I covered them, and we made notes about things that we'll have to iron out later.  For example, "Love Hurts" by Nazareth has a guitar solo, but it's only half the verse and the vocals come back in for the second half of the verse, so you can't just cut out the solo; structurally it wouldn't work.  And if you cut the whole verse, you don't get the lead back into the final chorus.  So we have to figure that out.

Overall though, pretty good session.  We'll be getting together again the three weeks, Saturday afternoon again.  By then we'll probably have a few more songs on the list, and of course it'll be good to run through everything again anyway.  Her friend says we should need about 20 songs and we could do two sets with a break in between.  That seems kinda light, even considering that there will be a little talking or brief moments of down time between songs.  I have the 17 songs on my iPod, and the playlist is only 63 minutes total, so I'm thinking we'll need closer to 25 songs.  And of course, the more the better.  As we go, we can weed out the songs that don't seem to be working, but for right now, getting the numbers up is probably more important.  Bulk up first, then we can refine.

[Stadler]

That sounds awesome.   Hope we can hear something at some point (for those of us that can't really get to see you live).

[Orbert]

We got together again on May 22, as scheduled, and worked through 10 more songs.  After that, we were going to go back to the original list and work on certain things, but by time we were done with the 10 from the list, we didn't really feel like it.  It was sunny and getting kinda hot in her garage.  Also, she lives right by the lake and spends most hours most weekends out on the water, so she was fine just calling it a day.  I don't blame her; if I lived there I'd be out in the boat all the time, too.

She'd been chatting up this new musical adventure on Facebook, and asking for song suggestions.  I didn't realize it, but most of the 10 songs she'd picked for the new batch were suggestions from her friends.  I was impressed by the variety, and that they're all pretty good songs, most of which I'd never heard of, mostly by singers I'd never heard of.  She said a lot of them were new to her, too, which surprised me, and that's what led to her mentioning that that's how she'd picked the songs.  For songs that neither of us even knew a few weeks earlier, we ended up with pretty good versions, mostly performance-ready.  I worked my ass off to be ready (as usual), and okay, I think I'm still trying to impress her with my mad skills on the keys.  It worked.  She mentioned a few times how great it sounds, and sometimes followed it with an apology for not quite having some of the timings nailed down.  I wasn't pissed or anything, barely annoyed, but I was surprised that she'd picked the songs and didn't know them well enough to sing them.  I mean, being that she's a professional singer and all.  It made more sense when she said that some of the songs were new to her, too.

Anyway, we set June 5 as our next practice, which gave us two weeks.  The idea was to polish up the 27 songs we have so far, and add one song that we both mentioned we loved ("Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John), and run through them, then pick three for our Open Mic/Audition which she keeps saying her friend can get us.  Work has been insane lately, I had taken a four-day Memorial Day weekend, and by Wenesday that week, I hadn't touched the songs yet.  I had choir rehearsal Thursday, and Fridays are usually spent with Mrs. Orbert, so I texted Patty and asked her if there was any way we could do the 12th instead.  She answered Yes, and added that she was glad I asked because work has been crazy for her, too, and she wasn't ready either.

At choir rehearsal the next night, I'm reminded that the choir is performing on June 12 at the memorial for one of our fallen members.  The service is at 2:00 PM, so unless I want to get up early Saturday morning (and suggest to Patty that she do the same), it's not gonna work.  But... crap, I'm the one who suggested the 12th.  I can't text her back and move it again, pushing it off another week.  That's lame.  But last week, she texted me and apologized, saying there's no way she can do it.  She just hasn't had any time to run through the songs.  Whew!  I was off the hook.  I told her Yes and that I was actually relieved, because I'd forgotten about the memorial but didn't know how to bring it up.

So that would've been last Saturday, three weeks since our previous rehearsal.  I'm actually working on tunes this week.  Work still sucks, but I'm not getting any answers or any support, so fuck 'em.  I'm not gonna put in overtime and bust my ass or anything, not when there are tunes to work on.  I got a text from Patty earlier today, again apologizing, and asking if there's any way we can move rehearsal to Sunday.  Work is still hellacious, and she just wants to collapse on Saturday.  Her words.  Well, shit.  Sundays are off-limits.  Mrs. O works on Saturdays, so Sunday is our only day to spend together.  I told Patty that.  I kinda lied, though.  My Sunday afternoon nap is what's sacred and what I do not pre-empt for rehearsal.

I gotta admit, I'm losing a little bit of the enthusiasm I had for this project.  I like the songs, I want to play, but it's not my project; it's hers.  I'm having trouble justifying in my head putting in the practice for rehearsals and gigs that may never come.  I had to push rehearsal once, but she's pushed it twice since then.  We'll see what happens the next few days.

[Stadler]

I thought you were going in a different direction. 

[Orbert]

I'm curious what direction you thought I was going in.  I'm basically just spewing out my thoughts on what happened, so if it seems that I'm leading up to something, it's completely unintentional.  So I'm curious.  I too have no idea where all of this is going, if anywhere.

I told Patty that Sunday was a No, and while relating this to Mrs. Orbert, she reminded me that Sunday is Father's Day.  I've been a father for nearly 30 years now, and I still think of Father's Day as a day to recognize my father, not a day for me.  The missus always reminds me that as a father, I at least get to pick what we have for dinner or where we go.  Okay, I'll take it.

So anyway, I told Patty that Sunday was a No, and went on to remark that this is harder than scheduling rehearsals for the band, and we had seven people.  Saturdays, in my mind, are the day that bands practice.  Why?  I guess because weeknights are nuts, and Sunday is the day of rest (to nap and prepare for the upcoming work week), so that leaves only Saturday.  Preferably in the afternoon because it's also my one day to sleep in, but I'll drag my ass out of bed at 8:00 for a 10:00 rehearsal if that's how it is.  She apologized for how difficult it's been to schedule practices.  She tossed the idea out there of maybe trying a weeknight, since she drives past my town on her way home.  I didn't know that.  I don't know where she works or what she does, but she lives an hour away from me, so if she drives past me on her way home, that's a hell of a commute.  The problem is that we can't practice at my house.  It's an open floor plan.  You can walk in the front door, through the living room and dining room, into the kitchen, up or down the stairs, all without going through any doors or doorways.  The only doors are bedroom doors and bathroom doors.  So basically, if someone is playing music anywhere in the house, the whole house hears it.  This precludes, for example, us rehearsing in the basement while my wife watches TV upstairs, because there's no way she doesn't hear it, and if she turns up the TV to where she can hear it, we'll hear the TV.  The house just isn't that big; we'd actually only be about 30 feet from each other, with nothing in between to dampen the sound.

So it's the frustration that's getting to me.  I'm still into it, for now, but we really need to have something happen soon.  And as I said, it's her project; she wanted to do this, she contacted me.  Now she's pushed two rehearsals in a row because she hadn't had time to do her homework.

[Orbert]

Since Patty works south of me and lives north of me, the idea of getting together at my house makes sense.  Too bad it's just not possible to have a musical rehearsal of any kind here at my house.  However, my church is ten minutes west of me, it has a lot of rooms, most if not all of which will be empty, and some of which have pianos in them.  And I have keys to the building.

We rehearsed last night at the church.  I gave her the address, we met there at 6:30.  Three hours later, we've gotten through most of the songs, but she said she really should get going; at that point she's not pulling into her driveway until 10:30.  We called it a night.

I've been spoiled.  John took a very "business-like" approach to running the band.  It was a necessity because we're all adults and have busy lives.  Online song lists, online calendar, lots of email communication, and texts, and actual phone calls.  Over-communication rather than possible under-communication.  I know that we talked about adding "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" to the list.  I know we discussed dropping "Superstition" but hadn't reached a decision.  I know this because I went back and re-read all of our texts and emails, and checked the online song list but she hasn't entered anything since originally setting it up.  The only comments and edits to it are mine.

So while we were going through the songs, we got to "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" and she said she remembered talking about it but not officially adding it to the list.  We did, because I included it in my first text following our last rehearsal, and added it to the official online song list.  I don't want to have official recaps and action items and all those wonderful things that you do in the business world, but there is value in doing exactly that.  You've just met; you're not meeting again for a certain amount of time.  The time in between needs to be used constructively, so let's make sure everyone agrees on where we stand on everything.  But not everyone is as organized and business-oriented and -- well let's call it what it is --  anal about everything.  She was not trying to be difficult, she was not trying to cause frustration, she's just not as ridiculously organized as I have come to be.  I have to remember that John's business-like approach was very strange to me at first, and likely is not the most common way bands are run, even today.  But hell, I don't know.

Hey, overall it was fun, a good rehearsal.  A needed rehearsal.  Also, it was cool playing an acoustic piano for the first time in a while.  Got to pound on it while she wailed.  Felt good.  Next rehearsal is tentatively set for two weeks from last night, Thursday the 8th.  We shall see.

[pcs90]

I have to say I also love a more organizational style. I've played at churches where the song list was given out 30 minutes before rehearsal (I mean, they were dead easy songs, but that's not the point.) Unfortunately a lot of people aren't very good at this kind of thing, and as a result many people won't be used to it. The key is making sure everyone involved is on the same page.

[Evermind]

I thought you were going in a different direction. 

I think I did too, considering Orbert is anal about everything.

At choir rehearsal the next night, I'm reminded that the choir is performing on June 12 at the memorial for one of our fallen members.  The service is at 2:00 PM, so unless I want to get up early Saturday morning (and suggest to Patty that she do the same), it's not gonna work.  But... crap, I'm the one who suggested the 12th.  I can't text her back and move it again, pushing it off another week.  That's lame.  But last week, she texted me and apologized, saying there's no way she can do it.  She just hasn't had any time to run through the songs.  Whew!  I was off the hook.  I told her Yes and that I was actually relieved, because I'd forgotten about the memorial but didn't know how to bring it up.

A couple of years ago, I had a few vacation days and I planned on visiting my friend in another city. As I planned to stay at his apartment, I wrote him in advance, like two months before the trip, to schedule the dates, so he would have nothing planned for those days. We settled on three days on a weekend, from Friday to Sunday, I bought the train tickets and everything. Two weeks later, he remembered he was invited to a wedding on Saturday.

Scheduling is a pain in the ass, I'm actually surprised how often you rehearsed with your band of seven players before. We're playing D&D as a group of five, and we're playing online, not even in person, and we have to reschedule constantly between work and business trips and house renovations and guitar lessons and somebody falling ill and somebody's cat falling ill and other IRL plans and whatnot. Though as one of our players works 2/2 (working two days, then two days off on paper, although lately it's more like working four days, then two days off, but hey, that's her life), we can't set a certain day of the week to play, and this is the root of the problem, I think.

It shouldn't be that difficult between two people though.

[Orbert]

Update: We've rehearsed a few more times, and had our first "gig" last night.  Open mic at a local microbrewery.

This is the place where her friend Jeff works, and he's hinted that he can get us booked there as a regular live act.  Open mic of course is a venue's way of getting free live music, because there are lots of people out there who want to break into the business and will play for free, and if you get the right people to come see/hear you, it can also serve as an audition.  Also, it helps to get out there and play, and is a relatively low-pressure way to get some experience and play for friends.  She had some friends coming out, and Jeff's band was meeting him there.  She knows all of them, so we would have a built-in cheering section.

Patty's friends Kristy and Tom didn't make it.  Jeff was sick, so he wasn't coming.  Well, crap.  So much for our audition.  But two of the other guys in the band, John and Bob, were there.  Open mic was run by Pete and Cam.  Pete ran the sound and for some reason had a keyboard set up next to the sound board; Cam was the MC, kicking things off with a few songs (voice and acoustic guitar) and then introducing each act and chatting during the short breaks in between acts.

We were sixth on the list out of eight acts.  Open mic is from 8 to 10, so everyone got 15 minutes.  That doesn't sound like a lot of time, and it's not, but songs in this format aren't that long, so everyone got to play four songs.  We got there about 7:30, both coming straight from work, and Patty ordered a drink.  She nursed it, but with nothing else to do but sit, watch and listen, and wait, it was gone in an hour.  She said it was pretty strong.  I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but hey, it's her gig.

First guy up was voice and guitar.  He had a harmonica with the attachment so he could play it while strumming.  Second guy up was voice and guitar, with Pete adding keys to two of the songs (ah, so that's what the keyboard was for).  Third guy up was voice and guitar.  Fourth act was a guy doing voice and guitar, with his friend Kayla adding some harmonies sometimes.  She's cute and has a nice voice.  Fifth act was voice and guitar.

We did "Desperado" by Eagles, "Turn Me On" by Norah Jones, "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John, and "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton.

At the opening notes of "Desperado" it suddenly got really quiet.  What?  Is that a piano?  Who'd've thought?  Nice applause after.  "Turn Me On" didn't thrill, but got a polite applause.  "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" brought the house down.  People love that song.  I had two people come up to me later to tell me that that's their favorite Elton John song, and two more just tell me that they loved the keyboards, especially the Elton John.  "A Thousand Miles" got a pretty nice applause, too.

Pete and Cam both made a point of coming over later and telling us we were great.  Cam asked if we did any other Elton John songs.  I told him we also have "Your Song" and "Tiny Dancer".  He said "Ah, all the good ones!"  He said he'd never seen that song played live before (presumably meaning "Someone Saved My Life Tonight") and thought it was really great.  Cam is actually a pianist; he just finds it easier to gig doing voice and guitar.  I'm always jealous of guys who can play both.  I've tried to learn guitar like 10 times, and can't get past a few chords.  One of the few instruments I just can't get.

So Jeff wasn't there, but presumably Pete and Cam will let him know how we did.  With both of them being keyboard players, there may be some added cred to their review of my playing, which was apparently pretty good.  Bob and John were also there; John is the keyboard player from Jeff's band, the one who considers himself pretty good but once told Patty that he thinks I'm better.  He came with her to see my old band a few years back.

The two guys after us were both voice and guitar.  Obviously it's easier to get up there with just an acoustic guitar, but wow, I thought there'd be a little more variety.  Other than us, the one guy who played some harmonica, the guy who Pete played along with on a few tunes, and the one guy whose cute friend sang some harmonies, it was all voice and acoustic guitar.  Maybe the novelty of being different will help us.

Patty was pretty psyched after, saying "That was fun!" over and over.  She said we could just play open mics around the area.  I was hoping to actually get paid some/most of the time, but it was pretty fun, and doing it for free does remove a lot of the pressure.  We shall see.  And thinking about it, yeah, I'd probably go out and play for free.  Players gotta play.

[Stadler]

So did the drink affect her gig?   Just curious (since you pointed it out).   

I'm not familiar with "Turn Me On", though I know Norah Jones, and I'm not familiar with either Vanessa Carlton or her song.   But the other two are solid.  I'd like to hear you play "Someone....".   That's a great song.

[Orbert]

I think the drink probably helped.  She was really nervous about this.  Singers -- well, any performers really -- can be odd that way.  She loves to sing, and loves to perform.  But the time leading up to the gig is full of nervousness and self-doubt.  Then she gets on stage, the "stage persona" kicks in, and she's fine.  When Cam came over and told us we were next, her eyes got kinda big for a second, and she said she was getting nervous again.  I told her to have another drink, jokingingly, and she laughed and said "No!"  I think she knows her limits.  Her friends Bob and John, sitting on the other side of her from me, said something that I couldn't hear, and she said she didn't know.  Then they looked at me and asked if it was true about Anne (our former singer who they all know as well).  Is what true?  That she gets hammered before gigs and it sometimes leads to... "problems" on stage.  I told them that I didn't know anything about that personally, but it would explain some things.  We all laughed.

I related that story to my wife, who said "Oh yeah, definitely."  One time we had some friends come out to an early gig with Anne, and while I and the rest of us were busy setting up our gear and stuff, Anne was drinking.  Our friends Karen and Doug both commented to my wife about our singer getting loaded, and Anne's friend Joe actually had to stop her.  As I said, I never saw any of this, but it would explain some things.  Anne had trouble remembering lyrics, and things like when to come in (early, late, not at all).  Hey, do whatever you need to do to get through a gig, but do not let it affect the gig negatively.  That's my rule, anyway.  When Patty saw that I was just drinking water while she nursed her gin and tonic, she asked me if I was going to have a drink, or if I drank at all.  Then she got the semi-shocked look people get when they realize that they might have ventured into "personal space" and said she wasn't prying, just asking, and it's okay if I don't want to answer.  I told her honestly that I rarely drink at all, preferring to partake in what is now legal in Illinois, but this night I was playing it straight.  (First gig in years that I played straight, actually.  But this was important, and I needed my wits about me.  I wasn't there to have fun; we needed to impress.)  Patty said that that's her preference as well, and that if she had to give up alcohol or the other stuff, she'd give up alcohol.  I didn't mention that I had stuff in the car that I was planning on hitting on the way home that night.  We're not to that point yet.  It kinda reminded me that Patty and I still really don't know each other that well.  We mostly talk about songs and singers/bands.  During rehearsals we chit-chat a bit, and that's been most of our "getting to know you" time, what little there has been.

Gigging in the 21st century is still different from the old days, and always will be.  Back then, we all knew each other, most of us lived together in the same house.  The band was formed from people who knew each other first.  FlashDrive was a business arrangement that led to personal relationships, a few anyway.  Patty and Bob is the same; a business arrangement.

"Turn Me On" is an old-school blues in Bb.  Patty chose it, and the other songs for that night, because they showed off both her and me.  Besides complimenting me on the Elton John, Cam also commented on the Vanessa Carlton tune, saying her was surprised to hear it (probably because we were doing all old stuff), but that we did it well.

Patty had one of the her friends take video with her phone, so we have some footage.  She said she has some editing to do.  She works at one of the local TV stations, and maybe has access to their equipment.  I didn't ask further, but I too would like to see the footage.  If it's not too horrible, I'll post some.

WE HAVE A GIG!  (A real one)

I took off not long after our mini-set, but Patty stayed as she had friends there.  Before she left, the owner caught her, gave her his card, and asked her to send him and email.  She told me this yesterday and we were text-chatting about the gig.  Before the day was out, he'd "given" us October 1.  A Friday night, 8 to 11, so probably something like three 50-minute sets with two 15-minute breaks.  So 2.5 hours of music.  Patty said "30 songs, if I talk a lot".  We have exactly 30 songs on our list right now, so we should probably get to work.  We'll polish them up over the next six weeks, and likely drop a few, so we'll probably need a few more.  But things are happening.

[Evermind]

Good stuff! I too would like to see the footage.

[hefdaddy42]

Nice!

[Orbert]

Two weeks from tonight!

We've practiced three more times, and have a couple more (tomorrow and next Saturday) then we find out what we've got.  This is exciting.

Still no video.  She said her friend was out of town for a while, then hadn't had a chance to upload it yet, blah blah blah.  I haven't asked recently.

[Orbert]

We did it.  Holy shit.  Pretty good night overall.  The place isn't huge anyway, but it was at least half filled with people Patty had invited.  Her sister and some friends, her cousin and some friends, some guys from her band... and it was her cousin's birthday, so there was a cake and candles and I played Happy Birthday to You on the piano.  It was crazy fun.  Three 50-minute sets, two 15-minute breaks.  Three hour show.  Whoa.

First set was pretty good, but the second set was great.  By third set, we were getting tired and both of us messed up a bit more.  But you know how it is.
Half the f-ups get past the audience anyway, probably more.  People hear the good, not the bad, and fortunately there was a lot more good than bad.  Damn, Patty has a great voice.  It was really something, doing a whole show just voice and piano.  People seemed to dig it.  I even got some compliments on my background vocals, if you can believe that.  And a bunch for my piano, too.  We need more upbeat songs.  Our list leans too far to the mellow side in general.  But we'll work on that.

Anyway, hell of a night.  Patty recorded most of it on her phone.  Hopefully we'll get some video.

[pcs90]

Yeah! Hope the recordings come out, would love to hear some.

[Orbert]

Epilogue: The recordings did not come out.  The curse continues.  Any band or ensemble involving Orbert cannot be recorded.  Something technical will go wrong, or someone will just plain fuck up.

We never did find out what happened to the video that Patty's friend recorded of that first open mic.  After getting countless excuses over several weeks, Patty just gave up.  She hasn't talked to the guy since then, and she's okay with that.  He knows how much this meant to her, and if he would just come clean and admit that he fucked up the recording, or just give her a straight answer, or something, we could move on.  But he's being a dick and she said it's not worth the aggravation.  I'd like to see/hear the footage, too, but I agree.

As for the full show, Patty recorded it on her phone, but somehow it was in a mode which didn't start recording unless/until there was sound, which meant that the beginnings of songs were cut off, and quieter parts in the middle of songs got dropped.  The phone battery died sometime in the second set, but she went through all the footage she had, and said that there wasn't a single complete song that was usable.  There were some "snippets" of songs, enough to put together a sampler video for the agents and venue owners, but no complete songs for the Facebook page.  Shit.


We did another open mic last night!  It was interesting, a different venue, a different vibe from the other place.  Another smaller bar, but in a nice suburb, similar to the first place.  Difference was this place gets really busy on Open Mic Night, which is Tuesday nights.  Sign-up starts at 6:30 sharp, acts start at 7:30.  Each act gets 15 minutes, no more.  Some guy named Rob explained the rules to everyone, said if you're 13 or 14 minutes in, you don't start another song if it will put you over.  Okay.  Then he said "Okay, who was here first?" and passed around a clipboard.  Despite being there since 6:00, I couldn't bring myself to "fight" the others for the clipboard, so we were the 8th act of the night.  Yeah, we didn't start until nearly 10:00.  Oh well.

We did four songs.  As with the first open mic, the second song was a poor choice, because Patty does not understand the difference between a song she likes and sings well, and a song that will go over well in a bar.  But we got polite applause, the third and fourth songs totally smoked, had people singing along, and we got a pretty good applause after.

The venue livestreams Open Mic Tuesdays, and I got to check out our set last night after I got home.  Not bad.  Crappy mix; keys are too low, practically inaudible sometimes, but Patty sounds great.  The curse continues.  If you're really interested, PM me and I'll send you a link to the Facebook stream, which may or may not work for you or still be available, but that's what we have thus far.

[Evermind]

As for the full show, Patty recorded it on her phone, but somehow it was in a mode which didn't start recording unless/until there was sound, which meant that the beginnings of songs were cut off, and quieter parts in the middle of songs got dropped.  The phone battery died sometime in the second set, but she went through all the footage she had, and said that there wasn't a single complete song that was usable.  There were some "snippets" of songs, enough to put together a sampler video for the agents and venue owners, but no complete songs for the Facebook page.  Shit.

This is how we know you guys are a fogey duo.

Shame about the friend's video though. I'm sure it'll work out well at some point!

[Orbert]

The extra lame part is that Patty works in video production.  It wasn't a huge consideration when I joined the project, but it did cross my mind briefly that we should at least get some decent video to check out.  She's also one of those people who always has either her phone or her tablet in her hand.  To me, that indicates someone who should know their way around the equipment.  So how is it that she set up the phone herself to record a gig, and it was in the "wrong mode"?  It's mind-boggling.  The sampler video she did was pretty nice, complete with some tasteful editing and a few frills but not enough to be distracting.
So she's good at that.  But getting decent video to work with in the first place has proven elusive.

I'm not even sure why this matters so much to me.  I suppose part of it is ego.  I'd like to for once see/hear a good musical performance and be proud of the fact that I was involved in it.  The rest is probably the aggravation that comes from knowing that it just shouldn't be so fucking hard to do that, and after years and years of trying, it still hasn't happened yet.  This increases the frustration and disappointment level every time because I think "Okay, this time we'll finally... oh are you fucking kidding me?!"

[Orbert]

We ended playing open mic night again the week before Christmas, at that same place we did in November.  It went better, mix was better, but I did fuck up one of the songs pretty badly.  Got lost for a full two measures, which is an eternity on stage when you're the entire "band".  Two of the four songs were brand new; Patty was so excited about them that she wanted to just go out and do them.  So we did.  One of the new songs wasn't quite drilled into my head, and my fingers lost it for a few.

Once again, the guy who actually decides who plays at this place wasn't there, but he reviews all the performances.  Thursday night (three nights ago), he called Patty and asked her if we could play there Sunday (tonight).  Shit.  Patty and I took a break after that last open mic, then between her getting sick and general holiday bustle, we haven't actually practiced since then.  He needed an answer right away so she told him No.  My guess is that someone had cancelled so he was scrambling, and a No from Patty meant he went to the next name on the list.

Patty texted me immediately to let me know, and hoped that it was okay.  It was okay.  I'm bummed that the guy finally called and we couldn't take the gig, but I am completely on board with the decision and the reasoning.  We could've gone up there and bumbled through, probably fooled most of the people most of the time, but anyone with critical eyes and ears would've noted the distinct lack of polish, and we wouldn't have been called back there.

And of course things are locking down again because of Covid, some new restrictions went into effect here in Illinois after the first of the year, so I don't know when we'll get any other gigs.  But what the hell.  Supposedly we're gonna practice this week.

[Orbert]

We have a gig!  Same place we've been doing the open mikes, but this time for a full three-hour gig.  It's a Sunday evening, which I'm guessing is one of the "lesser" nights at that place, but a gig's a gig.  May 15.  So we have three months to prepare, which should be plenty of time since we already have three sets, but the way things have been going, it will be here sooner than we realize.  Lately we've been going through one set each week, then we'll take some time to review the newer songs, then we'll still have two months to really tighten things up.

I'm not sure what happened to all of the potential gigs that Patty's friend said he could line up for us.  Patty had to call the open mic guy back twice to get this gig; her friend doesn't seem to be doing jack.  Oh well.  At this point, it's still fun just getting together and playing songs with someone.  It would be nice to do it in front of an audience, nicer still to get paid, but whatever.  I got nothing else going on.  I'm trying not to let frustration and boredom overcome the fun of just playing, because I do enjoy playing.  But it's kinda dumb to have a "band" that doesn't actually play anywhere.

[Nefarius]

It would be nice to do it in front of an audience, nicer still to get paid, but whatever.

Greetings...
Nef

[Orbert]

So we played the gig and it went pretty well, about as well as could be expected.  Just as I figured, Sunday nights are kinda slow and they put us in because we're a different kind of act, just voice and piano.  The place is a small bar with good food, in a small strip mall in a nice suburb.  Maybe 12 tables total, plus 6 stools at the bar.  Four of the tables were full of Patty's friends.  The first two sets were great.  A few flubs, but only one real train wreck.  The others we recovered from quickly and were the kind that some people caught but many wouldn't.  Second break, people started leaving, and by closing time only two tables remained.  Sunday night, small bar in the burbs.  But overall it went well, and we split $150 plus $50 in the tip jar, so not a bad take for an evening's work, and it was good practice, good experience for us.

Our next gig is next Thursday, another open mike.  50-minute gig at a venue about 45 minutes south of here, so nearly two hours south of Patty's house, but she'll be coming from work, which is halfway.  I told her I could do the gig, but totally understood if she didn't want to.  We took it.

Here's the trippy part.  It's at the same venue where the original version of Orbert's Band, the one that inspired this entire thread, made their debut in July 2014.  Nearly eight years later, I'll be playing there again.  Jim, the guy who organized the things eight years ago and had already been doing it for years, has a vested interest in the venue (I'm assuming part owner), and based on the promos I've seen online, he still has a tight connection to the place.  I only ever played the one gig there and never saw the rest of the venue, so I don't have much opinion about it other than it's like a half hour farther away than really makes any sense for us to play.  It's for "drinks and tips", basically free exposure for us and an hour's free entertainment for the venue, but even if we kick ass there, what's the reward?  We get gigs at a place I really don't see the point in playing, half an hour from nowhere.

But a gig's a gig.  Good experience.  We get better every time.

[Orbert]

Patty's work schedule changed, and she wasn't going to get out of work until 7:30.  She found this out last week sometime.  We were supposed to be on at 7:00, so after consulting with me, she called Jim at The Stage, apologized, and said we'd have to back out.  He said we'd figure something out.  If she can be there by 8:00, he can just swap us with the act that was scheduled at 8.  I wasn't too sure about taking the gig in the first place, but okay, if Jim is willing to accomodate us, we shouldn't piss on that.  So I got there early to set up the piano, and Patty got out a little bit early and broke the sound barrier getting there at 7:48.  Turns out the 8:00 act couldn't go earlier because one of them couldn't get there until 7:30, so Jim's "figure something out" was basically we played from about 7:55 to 8:30.  A lot of work for a 35-minute gig.  But it's another place to play, and possibly more importantly, Jim's a good friend of Agent Dude (remember him?) who Patty had contacted last winter and who said he could get gigs for us.  So far he hasn't done shit.  Jim told Patty to call him back and drop his (Jim's) name.  Okay, that can't hurt.

Also, while there we chatted a bit with Jim, mentioned that as a duo, we're not really looking to place the same places that bands do.  We're lower key.  Jim has an acoustic duo with Jason (the sound man at tonight's gig) and they play around the area.  I had to internally facepalm, because I knew that, and the types of places that they play are the same places we could be playing.  So all we have to do is stalk their Facebook page, see where they play, and call those places ourselves.  Networking.

So 35 minutes of pretty good jams, some networking accomplished, and a pretty good tuna melt sandwich.  My split of the tips was $13; my sandwich with fries and cole slaw was $12.91.  I gave our server $16 and told her to keep it.  Sang for my supper.  Ain't nothing like gigging!

[Orbert]

Did another mini-gig last night.  One of Patty's former bands used to play this annual neighborhood party, and now that band has broken up, so her friend Bob (also formerly from that band) got these other guys to play, and said we could be the opening set.  So we were 7 to 8, with them going 8 to 10.  We played til about 7:45, and got $50 for it.  $25 paid for gas and dinner, so what the heck.  Also, it was fun playing an outdoor gig, which I hadn't done in a while.  We're playing, little kids are running around, maybe 50 or 60 adults in lawn chairs eating, drinking, and hanging out.  Food by Tamale Joe's (or something like that) set up in the corner.  Beef, chicken, or pork, $5 each.  They were pretty good.  There are definitely worse ways to spend an evening.

[hefdaddy42]

Orbert, I don't always comment, but I love this thread.

[Stadler]

Orbert, I don't always comment, but I love this thread.

As do I. 

[Orbert]

Thanks, guys.  I'm just putting it all out there for posterity.

Went through some panic at that outdoor gig last Friday.  Got set up and plugged in, and my keyboard didn't power up.  Tried swapping power adapters, then tried swapping extension cords, nothing.  At some point I realized that the main display was blank, but two of the three status lights were on.  Because two were clearly on and not the other, it wasn't because of the way the light was hitting it or anything.  I immediately realized that the keyboard had power, but the main display had finally died.  It had been dying for a while; I guess this was it.  Fortunately, I only ever use the main piano sound or the occassional piano/strings double stops.  I can do both of those without having to confirm anything on the main display, so the gig went on.  I never even mentioned it to Patty.  No point in giving her something else to worry about when I had it under control.

But it was scary for ten minutes, thinking I might have to forfeit the gig, so I went and bought a new piano on Saturday.  Nothing fancy, just a Yamaha P125.  Look it up if you want.  I'll probably have a picture of it in this thread at some point.  Anyway, having a new piano is fun.  My fingers have to get used to playing weighted keys again.  They got pretty lazy playing organ-style keys all these years, and I almost didn't go this route because my arthritis is starting to get more annoying.  But what the fuck.  Players gotta play.

[Orbert]

So... what has The Patty & Bob Show been up to for the past two months?  Not much, sadly.  No gigs on the books.  Practices were still scheduled for every Wednesday evening, but around half have been cancelled for various reasons.  I was out of town for a week, she had friends in from out of town, she had to work late, I had to work late.  Life's a bitch.  And honestly, I'm not sure how much I'm willing to put myself through when there are still no scheduled gigs.  We talk about it, Patty says she's going to make some calls, stop by some places, etc., and she's done some of that.  But no gigs so far.

I still like learning songs.  I still like getting together with her singing and me playing.  Making music with someone else is always good.  But I don't have to do it every week to feed my fix.  We decided to cut rehearsals to every other week.

Meanwhile, I've been contacted by two different people via bandy_mix.com (or something rather close to that) about established working bands seeking a keyboard player.  One gave a bit of detail, said they've been around 10 years, play mostly 60's and 70's classic rock, some R&B and Motown.  Their keyboard player just left and they need one.  That actually sounds pretty cool, and I do like to keep my options open, so I told him to send me their song list.  The other message wasn't quite as slick.  The subject was simply "keyboard player" and the message itself had typos.  I didn't reply to that one.  Yes, I can afford to be that picky.

I told the first one that I'm not currently looking for a gig, but I like to keep my options open.  I said I'd also like to know a little more about the band, like how often they practice and how often they gig.  If the song list thrills me and the rest sounds doable, I might bite.  I miss playing in a band, and The Patty & Bob Show does not appear to going anywhere.  Getting a new band going is hard work, as Patty is learning and I'm being reminded.  But an established working band?  Hey, if all I have to do is learn a couple dozen songs (hopefully I'll know a bunch of them already) and show up, that would be sweet.  So we'll see.

[Orbert]

The one guy from bandy_mix.com (or something rather close to that) finally got back to me with a song list, and said that they don't really practice often, usually just before a gig to brush up.  But they only gig like once a year or so, because Covid blah blah blah.  I looked at their song list and only recognized like five titles out of 40.  This was the band that plays "mostly 60's and 70's classic rock, some R&B and Motown".  I really expected to at least recognize the names of half the songs or more, even if I didn't know the songs themselves.  So this was basically going to be a lot of work for me to catch up, to maybe play once a year, possibly more once gigs start happening again more, but nah.  I told him that I wouldn't waste any more of his time; it didn't look like I'd be a good fit for them, but I wished them well in their search for a new keyboard player.

The other guy sent out another "form letter" email, with fewer typos this time but still just as lame.  Subject was "keyboard player" and body was clearly a blanket statement that they're looking for a keyboard player for an established band.  Members of the site can include as much or as little personal info as they want, and this guy is located like an hour and a half away.  He's way upstate a half hour past Patty's house, which is an hour away, in the boondocks.  So I ignored that one again.  I have it right in my profile that I'm not currently looking for a gig, so if someone sends me a form letter, they're obviously just sending it to any keyboard players out there.

Patty and I finally practiced again last night.  We'd come up with six new songs between us, and worked on them a bit.  She'd contacted the places where we already thought we'd gotten "in" to (having played one or two open mikes plus an actual paid gig at each) and they said they were booked through the rest of the year.  This blows.  We totally packed the first place with her friends and by all accounts were great, but they have a new manager now.  Oddly, this new manager was a bartender the night we were there and said she really liked us.  But oh well, they're booked through the end of the year.  The other place where we'd played a Sunday night had told us that they're usually pretty dead on Sundays (they're a tiny bar/restaurant in a strip mall in the 'burbs) and we could probably do a Sunday any time.  But whoever told us that is full of shit because apparently they're all booked up, too.  Fuck.

She'd contacted a few more places, got a few responses, but all said they didn't think we'd work out, or some shit.  We're a different kind of thing, for a different kind of venue.  I was going to ask her again about her friend who has a restaurant and all the other gigs we supposedly could get when we first started, but I didn't because the last few times, I got stupid non-answers.

We decided that we'd gotten ahead of ourselves, got a little too excited about the two paid gigs and forgot that we're still building our brand.  So we're gonna do some more open mikes, which are basically free music for the venue and open auditions for bands, and hopefully get some gigs out of them.  We'll do one next Friday, and practice next Wednesday to tune up three or four songs for the open mike.  I'm not sure how much longer I'm up for this.  I still like learning new songs, I like the challenge of coming up with a piano arrangement emulating a full band, to back a singer (and provide mediocre background vocals), but there's only so long you can do something, hoping it will pay off, before it's time to cut your losses.

[Orbert]

We did an open mike up at a little place like half a mile from Patty's house.  So, an hour's drive for me.  The short version is: it could have sucked but went well and probably saved the band.

After basically doing nothing all summer except practicing, skipping practices for various reasons, and learning another dozen or so songs, I was getting pretty discouraged.  I like making music, and getting together every other week to play while Patty sings is great.  What sucks is having rehearsals on the calendar every week and cancelling half of them.  Hey, life happens, but what I hate is the idea that something didn't happen that was supposed to.  I worked on the songs, and I was (mostly) ready for rehearsal, then it didn't happen.  That's annoying.  I didn't want to practice every week in the first place, so if the choices are reschedule or just blow off until next week, I vote to cancel, but it's still annoying.  And by the way, still no gigs because there's only two of us and the one who said she'd call places and check places out and scope out opportunities hasn't really done much of that.

So fine, Patty talked me into trying this combination restaurant, bar, smokehouse, and car modding shop (all in like a couple thousand square feet) that has open mike on Friday nights and live music on Saturday.  Patty checked the place out last Friday, and it was hopping.  This week, she was working until 6:00, so she wouldn't be there until 7:00 or so and open mike actually starts at 6:00, which means sign-ups are before that.  Patty called and someone said that if we get there later, we can probably still play.  Well, shit.  Pack my gear, drive an hour each way to do four songs, and maybe not even get to play?  Shit.

After practice on Wednesday, I didn't even set my stuff back up, just piled it in the corner.  Friday afternoon I packed up the car and drove up there, haven't played the songs or anything else since Wednesday.  Instead, I grabbed my iPod so I could listen to the songs a few more times on the way up, although I would have done that anyway.  I also ate half a gummy.  Strawberry, my favorite.  I usually don't do that before gigs with Patty, but WTF.

Got there, and the place is pretty empty.  A double row of booths, half a dozen on each side, nice wide aisle between, some tables way over there, then in the corner some guy has a guitar and a microphone.  There's a boom mike over to one side, and a Yamaha keyboard sitting on a milk crate, looks all plugged in but not powered up or set up.  His name is Phil, I'm Bob, and I'm meeting someone here and we were hoping to play some songs.  He says right now it's just him, and if we want to play, the sign-up sheet's on that table over there.  I go over and there's a sheet of paper that says:

1. Phil
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

He says sometimes the place is packed, especially later, and not everyone gets their 15 minutes, sometimes only 12.  And sometimes it's more like this, though things will get busier later.  Okay.  I wrote us in for spot #2 in case things get busier later.

At this point it's about 6:30 and Phil says he's gonna play for like half an hour, then we'll see who else is signed up.  We can go next if my friend shows up and right at that moment, Patty walks up and I introduce her.  So Phil plays a while, then Patty and I do our four songs, and during this time a few more customers came in but no more musicians.  So Phil asks us if we want to do some more.  It's super low-key, the exact opposite of the other places we've played and the exact opposite of what I was expecting, and we were having a great time and singing/playing well.  So we did one more song and took a break to have some dinner.  Phil said I could leave the piano up and maybe we could do some more songs later.  I looked at Patty and we both said Sure.  So we split a pulled pork platter (two sides plus banana pudding), listened to Phil some more, then did five more songs.

A few more customers came in but no more musicians, again.  But it was okay, Phil said it varies a lot.  He says we were great, gives Patty his card, and says to call him.  Like tomorrow.  He's gonna talk to the manager, but he loved us.

Saturday (yesterday) Patty forwards me an email from Phil, which is a reply to an email she sent him at his request.  The manager "Murph" loved us, too.  He was there, and there wasn't a lot happening so he caught most of our songs.  They have a Saturday 2-hour lunch gig that's picking up, and think we'd be perfect for that.  And if that goes well, we'll look at a Saturday night.  Also, he gave us two other places in the area that have open mikes.

And suddenly, I've gone from almost ready to suggest taking a break from The Patty & Bob Show to kinda fired up again.  Things might actually start happening, and all we had to do was get off out butts and make them happen.  Imagine that.

[Orbert]

Did another open mike (or is it "open mic"?) last night.  Again, pretty good potential to suck or otherwise be a waste of time, but it turned out alright.

Their Facebook page says open mic is from 7 to 10, with sign-ups at 6:45.  Patty and I both got there around 6:30.  Amanda (friend of Phil from the smokehouse) hosts the open mic, but Carl the Bartender says she's running late.  There are signs on the main door and also the door to the bathrooms that say open mic is from 6 to 9.  So obviously that's changed recently, but either way it's 6:30 now, almost 6:35, and Amanda isn't there yet.

Patty and I sit and kill some time, talk a bit, she has her drink (something involving vodka, I don't know), and we chat a bit with Carl the Bartender and some other guys sitting there at the bar.  Amanda finally shows up about 7:00.  Brings in a board and a speaker.  Then some stands.  Then another speaker.  And so on.  There's an empty corner where open mic happens, but apparently Amanda brings all the gear.  Takes her four or five trips, then she start setting things up.  I wander over to check things out; I don't know if I'm going to help set up or what.  I suppose I could if she asked.  But she's obviously done this many times before, and in a surprisingly short amount of time, she's got things set up.

I tell her I have a piano to set up and ask if it's okay if I set it up in the corner so when we go on, all I have to do is moved it out a few feet.  She says that sounds good.  I'm Bob, that's Patty over there, and she says "Oh, you're the ones from <place we played last year, filled, rocked, but never got called back>!"  I said Yeah, we played Phil's place last week and he recommended we come here.  She plays in a band with Phil, and he's mentioned us.  Okay, so our reputation precedes us.  That's probably a good thing.  I ask how the late start is going to affect things (Patty had signed up us for 7:30 and someone else had already filled in 7:45.  We only get 15 minutes each) because I'm looking around and the place is pretty empty, though not as empty as the smokehouse.  She says things really pick up around 8:00.  It's pushing 7:30 now, so I have my doubts, but it's her deal.

Anyway, she starts things off singing and playing guitar, the same way Phil kicked things off at the smokehouse, then she introduces us.  By now it's almost 7:45 and I figure that everything's just pushed back 15 minutes because of the late start.  Our four songs (the same as last time) run 17 minutes total, so I'm wondering if we'll have to cut our last song, but after our second song Amanda comes up and says we get five songs each tonight because not many people are signed up.  So we did five songs.  Did pretty well, got some nice applause.  It's not a huge place, but there were maybe 20 people, so easily twice the crowd as last time.

Afterward, Patty's helping me carry my stuff out, and she says she and Carl exchanged contact info.  He thought we were great and wants us back.  What, Carl the Bartender?  Well, turns out he's actually Carl the Owner.  The important thing is that he thought we were great.  He says he'd like us back on a Friday or Saturday night, he can only pay us $150 because they're still building the business back up, but that sounds fine to me.  We're only splitting it two ways.

So... things continue to move forward.  Patty was right; we weren't done paying our dues.  These open mics have (supposedly) led to paying gigs.  I'll believe it when I see it.  But we have two more to check out.  The Thursday night one will be tough since I have choir rehearsal on Thursday nights, but we do get some Thursdays off (or I could just skip rehearsal if we're not singing that Sunday) and the Friday one shouldn't be a problem.

Of course, that means we need to get back to rehearsing more regularly.  Break time's over, I guess.

[Orbert]

Well, shit.  Phil from the smokehouse finally got back to Patty, and he said that they finished scheduling the lunchtime gigs through November, and are thinking about discontinuing it after that, since business tends to drop off during the winter.  Last we heard, they'd booked through October and we were "definitely" going to be on the calendar as soon as they starting booking November, because both he and Murph loved us.  Apparently that was a load of shit.  So it was basically an elaborate, overly detailed way of telling us that we're SOL with them.

Carl the Bartender/Owner from the other place still hasn't answered Patty's emails.  She's contacted him twice now, at his request.  So nothing going on there, either.  Another place that supposedly thought we were great and wanted to book us, then... nothing.

We didn't practice this week, but we were going to practice next week "for sure" and try to do another open mic that Friday (thus the practice next week "for sure").  At the time (only last week) things were looking up and I was into it.  Now, not so much.  Yesterday, John (remember him?  Leader of the original band which moved to Tennessee) called me and said he was going to be passing through next Wednesday (when Patty and I usually rehearse).  They're driving from Tennessee to Wisconsin for some reason, and their itinerary puts them here Wednesday night.  He's going to catch dinner with David (the other guitarist) and wanted to know if I was available to join them.  Since nothing is happening with The Patty & Bob Show, I told him sure.

I told Patty this via text, and she said she understands, especially since we don't have any gigs on the calendar.  And by the way, she asked Bob (the other Bob, the one who'd said he could get us gigs way back when we started this) if he'd sit in with us.  He plays guitar and can sing background vocals, and Patty thinks it will help us out.  I think it wrecks the whole concept of a Voice & Piano Duo, obviously, but at this point I don't care.  Every once in a while, we do something that gets me kinda fired up again, then nothing happens anyway.  I'm up for doing this just because I'd at least be jamming with someone new.  I'm not sure how or why we'd want to change the concept now, but since no one gives a fuck, why should I?  We're basically an act with three full sets of tunes and nowhere to play them.  If Other Bob wants to learn the tunes and join in, sure.  But if he and/or Patty start making noise about it being making it permanent (I'm not clear on what "sitting in" means at this point) then I'm probably out.  Thus far, I've put in a lot of effort and learned a shitload of tunes, and played two gigs.  Well, three, counting that private event where we did one set and split $50.  Bleah.  I didn't want to start another band; I was intrigued by the opportunity to play piano with a great singer.  What in the hell are we going to do as a trio that we couldn't do as a duo?  These open mic places are tiny, obviously meant for soloists and/or duos.  Getting up there with a piano is already a pain in the butt.  Getting up there with a guitarist as well is dangerously close to putting a "band" up there.  Patty and I talked a little bit about it last week at rehearsal.  She's cool with doing these open mics because all she has to do is show up and sing.  Fun time.  I have to haul a piano, stand, and amp up there just to do three or four songs.  For me, it's not worth it, unless it counts as paying your dues and leads to something.  But I'm getting kinda tired of being told how great we are and how they're going to book us, and then getting blown off.