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Yeah, yeah. So sue me.
Haven't posted an update in a while, because nothing has been happening, while at the same time, a lot has been happening. That last post was on December 14, 2017. I believe it was the very next practice, on December 16, that our band leader John told us that he'd been diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer.
Before we had a chance to all start freaking out, he plowed forward. First of all, throat cancer almost never gets diagnosed until Stage 3 or 4 anyway, because it's one of those that just doesn't have obvious symptoms, and by the time it's diagnosed, it's pretty far along. But the "good" news (it's all relative) is that cancer stages are all defined by the same criteria, and while Stage 4 sounds really bad, for this type of cancer it is still somehow not too bad. 90% of people with this specific type of throat cancer beat it, and the odds only go up if the person is in otherwise good health and good shape physically. John is the oldest member of the band (I think he's 58) but easily in the best physical shape of all of us. He runs every day, works out regularly, and is the band's main roadie. Anyway, the odds are very, very good that he'll beat this, but it's still cancer and it's still scary. Radiation and chemotherapy are scary, and even after the physical recovery, the emotional recovery can take up to a year or more. He was preparing us by basically sharing everything he knew about it.
We didn't have any bookings for the holidays, so between that and John's condition, it was decided that the band take a break for a while, and will resume rehearsals when John feels up to it.
Treatment started within a few weeks. John's a communicator, with detailed emails sent every couple of weeks, telling us how things were going. Treatment lasted eight weeks, recovery has been ongoing. We started band rehearsals again, I think it was in March sometime. John looks incredible, not much different from how he looked before. Honestly, if you didn't know, you would never guess that the guy had recently beaten cancer. No hair loss, lost some weight but he's always been a lean guy, and his voice is kinda funny now but that too was expected.
So we've been learning new songs, and brushing up songs in the bag, with an eye towards getting out there and gigging again. The temptation was to take an extended break, since it's kinda hard to keep morale up and keep practicing and working hard to learn new songs when there are no gigs on the books. Actually, we booked a thing in September; John took it because he guessed that he'd be recovered by then, and even if not, the nature of the gig allowed us to back out of it if necessary without it really hurting us. Other than that, however, John has insisted that we do not book anything until he feels ready to gig again, because booking stuff and then having to cancel is bad and ultimately hurts us more than not gigging at all.
We've learned ten more songs, some of them pretty challenging. "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas, "Never Been Any Reason" by Head East, other stuff with keyboards, guitars, three-part vocals, killer songs. We keep getting better and better.
As always, we practice a bit, then take a break, eat lunch/snacks, and chat. Bonding time. This last practice, JT brought up something that's been on everybody's minds that no one wanted to bring up. When is John going to be ready to gig again? He looks great. But looks can be deceiving. He still tires easily, and faces serious fatigue by the end of the day. Emotionally, he's all messed up, because the chemo and radiation have fucked up his body pretty badly. The cancer is gone. Beaten, over with. Clean bill of health. That's great, we're all glad, and we've been keeping things positive throughout the past few months, while working on new songs, brushing up older ones, and trying to be ready for when we might gig again. But finally, JT said that it's getting harder and harder to keep doing this with no real payoff in sight.
When we get together and play, it's amazing. We really are very good. And it's great playing these songs, some really hard songs, and kicking ass on them. But obviously the goal is not to just play with ourselves in the basement, it's to get out there, and when is that going to happen?
John reiterates that he's not ready, and cannot say when he will be ready. It's different for everyone, and obviously he's never been through this before, so he has no idea. He will not even guess. He won't say "probably __ months" or "hopefully __ months" or anything like that. John is in clinical depression, a result of the enzymes and other chemicals that norally keep us happy and mentally balanced being all fucked up by the radiation and chemo. He literally is not of sound mind right now, knows that, admits it, but still cannot do anything about it. It's frustrating for him and everyone else, but it is what it is. So the band is in perpetual limbo.
David has another band, and they're not as good as us (he admits) but they're gigging and we're not. JT has been picking up gigs here and there when this other band needs a drummer. They kinda suck (his words) but they're gigging and we're not. Jerry has another band which isn't gigging. Angela and I have plenty of other musical outlets. Jess is pregnant with her first baby, so she's not looking to take on anything else. But overall, we're all pretty anxious to get out there. And John does not know when that will be, and cannot and will not even guess when that will be, so that leaves us... nowhere.
Yesterday I got a call from JT. This other band he's in does kinda suck, but the singer is actually pretty awesome. JT is looking to put something together because he's tired of not gigging. The singer from his other band and Angela from our band have already talked a few times. They will be our vocalists (one male, one female, ironically the same as the original plan for our band), he will play drums obviously, and he wants me for keyboards if I'm interested. Guitarists and bassists aren't quite a dime a dozen anymore, not good ones anyway, but he figures they will probably be the easiest spots to fill. And he needs my in because without it, he's not gonna bother. Way too hard to find a good keyboard player, and he considers me a great keyboard player. I thank him for the compliment.
He called it a "super group" with the best of the two bands he's in, plus whoever else he can find. It may take a while to put anything together, and if FlashDrive starts back up, he'll just drop it. But between the two bands, we know a lot of songs. He doesn't think I'll have any trouble learning the songs his other band plays (and he's probably right). It'll be at least a few months before we have anything, but he wanted to know if I was interested, and sure, I'll check it out. Players gotta play.
So lots of things, and lots of nothings. We shall see.