If a celebrity were your spouse, who would it be?

[black_biff_stadler]

Alexandra Daddario

Even if she gives terrible head, just think of all the free guitar strings.

[Prog Snob]

Alexandra Daddario

Even if she gives terrible head, just think of all the free guitar strings.

Bwahahahaaa  She doesn't have to give head; she can just stick it between her breasts and get me off that way.

[CrimsonSunrise]

20 years ago ..... Demi Moore

Today....hmmm......Sofia Vergara

[Lucien]

har har she could suck your dick well lol har har so funny odujrkgsbjrkgojrehu

Lucien's is Kotowboy's alt?

No, it's just that the line sounded worse than a line from a bad porno lol

[SystematicThought]

Alexandra Daddario

My God, that one scene in True Detective. Woody Harrelson wasn't the only Woody I was seeing in that scene...

...I don't even think that makes sense....

[pogoowner]

Alexandra Daddario

My God, that one scene in True Detective. Woody Harrelson wasn't the only Woody I was seeing in that scene...

...I don't even think that makes sense....

She is extremely, extremely... talented.

[black_biff_stadler]

Alexandra Daddario

My God, that one scene in True Detective. Woody Harrelson wasn't the only Woody I was seeing in that scene...

...I don't even think that makes sense....

[lordxizor]

Emily Blunt

You'd have to fight me for her.

[Prog Snob]

Alexandra Daddario

My God, that one scene in True Detective. Woody Harrelson wasn't the only Woody I was seeing in that scene...

...I don't even think that makes sense....

Does she have a woody?

[BlobVanDam]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

[Prog Snob]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

Agreed.    Put a flag over it and do her for your country.

[Stadler]

Emily Blunt

You'd have to fight me for her.

Sorry boys, I just don't see that one.   

As for Alexandra Daddario, very pretty but too skinny.   

[vtgrad]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

Agreed.    Put a flag over it and do her for your country.

Hypothetical...

I'd say Kate Beckinsale circa Underworld... something about those leather pants and vampire teeth. 

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

[Stadler]

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

The last part notwithstanding (I'm in the same blessed boat as you), Amy Lee is an interesting choice.  I had always written her off as just another overly made-up goth chick (which is not my scene) but I saw some pictures of her sort of "out of costume" and she has a really pretty face and amazing eyes.  The heavy make up, the quasi-Stevie Nicks outfits and the abuse of eyeliner are NOT her friend. 

[King Postwhore]

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

The last part notwithstanding (I'm in the same blessed boat as you), Amy Lee is an interesting choice.  I had always written her off as just another overly made-up goth chick (which is not my scene) but I saw some pictures of her sort of "out of costume" and she has a really pretty face and amazing eyes.  The heavy make up, the quasi-Stevie Nicks outfits and the abuse of eyeliner are NOT her friend.

Think of it as like Kiss.  It's just a stage persona and it's just her make up.

[black_biff_stadler]

I'd suck her dick.

[Prog Snob]

Emily Blunt

You'd have to fight me for her.

Sorry boys, I just don't see that one.   

As for Alexandra Daddario, very pretty but too skinny.   

I'm leaving the photo in just because.    Her weight doesn't bother me. I'm versatile as far as that goes (for the most part). My ex, the one blonde I dated pre-daughter, was 95 pounds soaking wet.

[Prog Snob]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

Agreed.    Put a flag over it and do her for your country.

Hypothetical...

I'd say Kate Beckinsale circa Underworld... something about those leather pants and vampire teeth. 

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

You know you can't offer a tease like that without a photo, right? 

[Stadler]

I'd suck her dick.

That's the kind of dedication and focus that this Forum needs more of. 

[vtgrad]

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

The last part notwithstanding (I'm in the same blessed boat as you), Amy Lee is an interesting choice.  I had always written her off as just another overly made-up goth chick (which is not my scene) but I saw some pictures of her sort of "out of costume" and she has a really pretty face and amazing eyes.  The heavy make up, the quasi-Stevie Nicks outfits and the abuse of eyeliner are NOT her friend.

The eyes get me more than anything (her real eyes)... and she is quite beautiful.  The voice is also a plus.  Her off stage personality seems to also be a plus... the videos I've seen she was kind of a goof-ball (in a good way).  She doesn't take herself to seriously I think.

On second thought, both of my picks are goth inspired... hmmm.

[vtgrad]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

Agreed.    Put a flag over it and do her for your country.

Hypothetical...

I'd say Kate Beckinsale circa Underworld... something about those leather pants and vampire teeth. 

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

You know you can't offer a tease like that without a photo, right? 

Yeah... those pics are just for me bro.   

[Prog Snob]

Does she have a woody?

Having seen the rest of her, I'm not sure that would be a deal breaker.

Agreed.    Put a flag over it and do her for your country.

Hypothetical...

I'd say Kate Beckinsale circa Underworld... something about those leather pants and vampire teeth. 

I'll throw Amy Lee circa My Immortal in there as well.



I don't think either of them could match my wife in real life though... I'm a blessed man!

You know you can't offer a tease like that without a photo, right? 

Yeah... those pics are just for me bro.   

You can't blame a man for trying. 

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Yeah... those pics are just for me bro.   

LIES!  ALL LIES!

Actually, you posted a pic of the two of you at a DT M&G.

[Prog Snob]

Yeah... those pics are just for me bro.   

LIES!  ALL LIES!

Actually, you posted a pic of the two of you at a DT M&G.

Hmmm....so the truth comes out.

[vtgrad]

Yeah... those pics are just for me bro.   

LIES!  ALL LIES!

Actually, you posted a pic of the two of you at a DT M&G.

Hmmm....so the truth comes out.

Oh... you guys meant normal pics.  My bad.    Need to get my mind out of the gutter I guess.

[Prog Snob]

  You're just as depraved as the rest of us.

[axeman90210]

Either Alexandra Daddario or Alison Brie.

[Harmony]

In all honesty I don't think I'd care to have a celebrity as a spouse.  I'm not even sure I want a spouse even though I already have one!   

But if I had to pick I'd say - on looks alone, George Clooney.  For fun I'd have to go with a comedian so maybe Steve Martin.  The fact he is also a musician is both a plus and a minus. 

[KevShmev]

That scene with Alexandra Daddario in True Detective was definitely amazing, but her eyes are kind of....strange.  I am sure I could overlook them, though...

Off looks alone, Charlize Theron remains the only answer for me.

[lonestar]

Taylor Swift.¹


1. I know that she is crazy, but that is precisely the reason! I mean, look, I made a footnote in a thread! I'm crazy myself . . .

I don't think it's any coincidence that Taylor Swift has 500 songs about guys leaving her and exactly zero songs about blowjobs.

Late to the thread, but had to appreciate this comment.

[Dream Team]

Audrey Hepburn (duh). I like my women classy and mysterious. Sluts are a dime a dozen.

[black_biff_stadler]

Audrey Hepburn fina than a muthafucka mmmh!

[TheSilentHam]

Crap, what am I doing with all these spare dimes?

[Dream Team]

Crap, what am I doing with all these spare dimes?

Saving them for a classy woman?

[TheSilentHam]

Saving them for a classy woman?

Ah yes, of course.  Audrey Hepburn was just great - classy and mysterious as you say.  I would have trouble with the whole "dead" thing though.