"Do you want my dentures in or out?"
<sorry, it's the first thing that crossed my mind>
"Head & Shoulders isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"The guy over there? He's the one that threw the snowball? He's a dead man."
"YOU drank the last beer!?!"
"If you don't pick <insert niece's name> caption as the winner, you are in BIG trouble."