That's all true. But let's say, what if instead having kids at that early age, I could marry early. I feel the marrying earlier is better. This may seem ludicrous, but I believe in marrying early because once you marry, you spend your entire life with your "soulmate." I feel like marrying at earliest (age 16), and latest (age 18), and just go through life, go through college forever. Maybe like you said, travel, sleep around, etc together, because it will help on the long run and just strengthen our relationship. There is this guy that I've known for quite a while (the guys I said I talked to about marrying early) and right now, it seems so real. It seems like we might have something going. And please don't make fun of me for this or anything, but honestly, I think marrying early is a great idea.
And that right there is why you're not ready. It is not a debatable point that the 13-year-old brain is not equipped to fully regard the consequences of your actions. This gets better as you get older but doesn't really set in stone (to the extent it ever does; some people just don't have that capacity) until your early 20's.
You don't marry "forever". Sure, some people do, my parents just celebrated 50 years last year, but it's not a given anymore, and part of that is that you DO change. Your brain isn't even half developed yet in terms of it's capacity, and all those things you are GOING to learn are what are going to make you a good parent. Just "caring" isn't enough. You can care more than anyone who has ever walked the earth, but if you don't provide for that child, he/she will pay the consequences, not you. If you can't protect that child physically or mentally, he/she will pay the consequences, not you. If you end up a single parent, having to make all the compromises that single parents do, he/she will pay the consequences, not you.
One of the other things to consider (and admittedly, most people don't): mature minds make decisions based on the possible downside, not the expected upside. Because after all, who gets into a relationship thinking you're going to break up? No one. Who takes a job thinking they are going to lose it? No one. But you have to factor that if you are going to make the ultimate decision, having a child.
My kid is far and away the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She is 14, and in the time since her birth, I have had better relationships, I have earned more money, I have been more sober, I have been in better shape... but none of those things happened ONLY because I had a kid. They happened because I was 33 when she was born, and I had all the tools to make those things happen, and she was just the motivation.
But I do think I'm mature enough. 
Which means you're not, because anyone who IS mature knows that there is far more they DON'T know, and far more they AREN'T ready for than there is.
I think my brain is at least 95% developed fully and it's pretty close!
Hahaha, that is so cute. You're not even 50% of the way there. Why do you think the drinking age was set at 21? Random? Why wasn't it 18, which is the age of consent? Because most kids' brains aren't fully developed until somewhere around 20 to 25, and things like alcohol and pot disrupt that development.
The boy and I, it just seems so real. It seems that my future is just right there and it's just waiting for me to come. It's standing there with its arms wide open and it's just right there! Though, I've heard stories that some people who took that opportunity, sometimes it failed and they came out as depressed as ever. And hopefully I will stick around too. IT will be so nostalgic ten years later just to see what I wrote and I'll bet I'll be facepalming on some stuff.
And keep that thought, because it is beautiful, and pure, and won't last forever. But remember this: "MAN PLANS, AND GOD LAUGHS". Meaning, as a person you have all these hopes and dreams and you set your plans out to achieve them, but life has a way of disrupting things. You get sick. You lose your job. Your partner changes his feelings. Your parents pass. Your house burns down. S*** happens.
Hmm, what if I just thought of marrying? No kids yet and just marriage. Just marry that perfect guy, attend Dream Theater concerts together and all that nice stuff. And right now, I"m enjoying the benefits of being young and will continue that for like another 3 years before I might get married and then me and my boyfriend, or husband can explore the world together. We could stick by each other and help each other when we go through tough times.
I have an analogy I use with my daughter and stepdaughter. You talk about the "perfect guy" and maybe he is. But you go to school, right? And say there are 200 people in your grade. Let's say 100 are boys. So you have ten CDs of songs, and those are the ONLY songs you listen to. And you listen. And listen. And you know them inside and out, because you don't have any more songs to listen to. And you accept the good parts and learn to tolerate the bad parts. But then, you go to college. And there are 2000 people in your class, 1,000 of which are boys. So now you have 100 CDs to listen to. And you realize that some of the 100 songs you liked are good, but they're not great compared to some of the songs in the 1,000 that you NOW have. So your experience has grown, and you know more people. But then, you graduate and go into the real world and get an apartment in that big city where there are 2,000,000 people, 1,000,000 of which are men. So now you have 100,000 CDs to listen to! It's almost too much, right? But what are the chances that there is ONE GUY in that 1,000,000 that is more perfect than that one boy in the initial 100 that caught your eye?
You have so much life to live, why not experience it fully, meet people, get a job, go to school, make mistakes, do all the things on your own before there is a partner or a baby that is dependent on you either not making mistakes, or being able to recover relatively unscathed from your mistakes.
Yeah, I'm saying this because I think the circumstances are just perfect. It just seems perfect. It's because currently, we go to the same school and we are thinking of going to the same university, getting the same career, etc. We also don't live too far apart (10 minutes on foot). We hang out most often together and he is really funny and makes me laugh. After all, his knowledge of Dream Theater sorta helps me. He just seems so perfect and *sigh* I could just look into his eyes forever~ ANYWAYS, just to stick to the topic, I have no means of rushing our relationship. If we start really soon, we can develop our relationship and our perfect life is paved right there for us.
What if the town changes the districts and you go to a different school? What if he doesn't get in to that university? What if his parents move him because dad got a different job? What if you have a baby that requires more care than a quote, "normal" unquote, baby? What if you are in Dunkin Donuts one day and a guy walks in that just captures your fancy and makes you forget about him?
If he's perfect now, he will be perfect at 24 when you have all your shit together and a means for answering all the what-ifs that life poses.
Topic: Marriage and Family (Read 4621 times)
