Acting is my true passion but I'm afraid

[npiazza91]

Alright guys, I'm saying it.  I know I'm not necessarily a regular here, but to be honest, going to the board of one of my top 2 favorite bands (only competition is Megadeth) makes me feel more at ease than talking to my family.  Thats how much I love music.  I know that sounds weird but I'll explain.

So, I've wanted to be an actor since I was a kid (I'm 24 now).  My mom ha always told me "you need to get a college education and work, because people that work are successful".  Yada yada, whatever.  I've worked 3 minimum wage jobs and I am miserable.  I joined the army at 18 and I'm now in the reserves.  Neither the minimum wage jobs or the military is my true calling, I just know.  I'm not satisfied with either one of them.

I'm currently in college pursuing a Psychology degree.  I love Psychology, but at the end of the day, I feel like it's not enough.  I want to do more, I want to become something.  I know that sounds lame and whatnot, but I feel like I'll never be happy living the 9-5 typical American life.  I'm a deep thinker, I'm an introvert (but not at all shy), I'm unorganzied, and I think highly of myself (without being arrogant).

I keep coming back to the fact that I want to be an actor.  To be honest...I'm scared.  My family would look down on me because I won't have a steady job, and I won't be respected.  Not to mention I'm short (about 5 ft 1) and there's not many roles that cast a short guy unless it's comedy (this is a complete guess on my part and I reserve the 100% right to be wrong here).

I don't know where to start and I'm not even sure if I have what it takes.  I took acting class when I was 10 and it was cool, but it was a kid's acting school, what is that really?  I am extremely good at putting myself in others people's shoes, I can literally feel what other people are feeling (I have massive empathy skills) and the more I think about the more I think that I would be an amazing actor.

Than doubt sets in.  I start to think "oh, I'm just in denial, I couldn't be an actor, I'm full of myself".  The thing is, I am a confident, emotionally mature individual, but since I have such an immense passion for acting and acting in general is so hard to get into, I start to doubt myself.

I mean looking at it logically, I have next to no experience, and I have nothing to show except "I think I would be a great actor".  I'm short and not a very good looking guy (not ugly by any means but I'm no model).  There's so much "what ifs" in my mind, and then there's the family issue...sigh.  I plan on staying in college for Psychology (the army pays for it) but it's not my endgame.  I truly believe that acting is my calling. It's my true passion in life but I am afraid, nervous and have no idea how to even think about starting.

I'm starting to think it's just a pipe dream.  For anyone that has any experience in this, please, I'll take any advice.  I just don't know who to talk to or what to do.  I feel like I have this deep secret that I'm too afraid to tell anyone about.

[Cyclopssss]

Well, it sounds/reads? like acting is truly your passion. But I can understand the doubts. Besides the fact that I think acting is grossly overrated, having been an amateur hopeful once, I think you really think this through. Actors/actrices , certainly in the US as I've understood it (just look around at what's on offer) are judged almost solely on their physical appearance. Which doesn't mean that you shouldn't go for it if you REALLY want to. Don't let me put you off, or anyone else for that matter. If this is what you really, in your heart/soul whatever feel you're destined to do, then there's nothing that should be able to reaching your goal. But be realistic about it. Acting jobs are sparse, in a field which is already flooded with hopefuls and wanna-be actors.

I think every waitress in the States says that 'she's really an actress' when asked. This is a field of profession desired by A LOT of people.
So expect a long hard battle, expect to having long hours in shitty jobs (but you might luck out) while pursuing that dream. Expect being exploited in shitty two-bit productions or having to settle for 'extra' parts. Expect despair, doubts and desilusion.

But if you really feel this is what you want to do, go for it. Try. Don't be put off by all the similar stories of people who tried and failed. And please, don't let your parents hold you back.
I wish you all the luck. 

[Stadler]

A friend of mine and I were on a business trip to Santa Monica about ten years ago, and we played that game: to see how many waiters/waitresses were "in the business" (or wanted to be).   It was hilarious how many (and we had to expand to bartenders, too.)

But that's not to say it's not a worthwhile passion.

You're in school, so you have to take electives:  take EVERYTHING the school has to offer for drama.   Start DOING it.   I know here in Connecticut, there are several community theaters that stage several productions a year.   My best friends' wife does this and almost always in a production or two at any given time.  They even do these kind of "commando" workshops, where everyone gets together and throws out one sentence premises.  Then the writers have 24 hours to write something.  The actors have 24 hours to get the staging down.  Costumes and props have 24 hours to do their thing, 24 hours to rehearse, and they stage.   Or something like that.

My local paper has an insert every Thursday that has all the auditions in the area for the week.  Get it, know it, follow through on it.

All this can be done in conjunction with your regular school and your reserve duty (by the way, noble calling, and thank you for your service; seriously).

The one thing that I get from your post that is lacking is... if you want to do it, DO IT.  Even if it is in reduced form.  It's not going to start as the lead role in the next Fantastic Four reboot.  It's going to start with hard work.   DO IT.

[Tick]

Obviously if you are looking for advise in the court of public opinion you mind as well give up now because most are going to tell you the odds are a million to one. Honestly, they are. You have to be extremely tough skinned and be able to handle rejection on a regular basis. The bottom line is you get one life and its solely up to you to make the decision and no one else. You should NOT shy away because of what your parents will think. They made there  choices for there lives and its your decision that matter when it comes to yours. The last thing you want it to hold any animosity towards your parents for not making your own decisions.

As a musician I always considered making it a pipe dream, so I never pursued it. The one thing that bothers me is I have always been able to play with A level musicians so I should have taken the opportunity more serious because you never know.

Play it safe, or go for it. Tough call and only you can make it. That's the most important point I will make.

[Chino]

I listened to my parents (primarily my dad) all my life. I went to school, got into business, and managed to buy a house at 25. Every element of my life is awesome except for my job, which I have to dedicate about 70% of my time awake during the week to. I sit in a cubicle all day, miserable, kicking myself in the ass for not pursuing what I enjoy, care about, and want to contribute too.

Go for it. Even if you fail miserably, at least you know. 

[TAC]

You're in school, so you have to take electives:  take EVERYTHING the school has to offer for drama.   Start DOING it.   I know here in Connecticut, there are several community theaters that stage several productions a year.   

This is what I was thinking. Community Theater.

[OpenYourEyes311]

You need to just do it. I've been acting for years (in school, community theater, indie films, etc...) and it's a process. You will not get a lead role your first time out (probably). But, like anything else, if you work hard for it, you'll be rewarded. You have to be okay with it being a hobby, too. Believe me, I'd love to make a living at acting (I have a friend who acts for a living on Cape Cod, MA), but those opportunities are few and far between. Without experience, however, it'll never happen. You just have to man up and do it. And take anything at the beginning. Once you have the experience, and notice that you are getting better roles, that's when you can be selective.

[cramx3]

I made a similar comment in a totally unrelated threat , but I think it may still hold value to this conversation.

You need to step outside your comfort zone to live a little.  You'll never experience all life has to offer if you stay within your shell and stick to what "works".  Take a chance, learn to live.  Do it, you are young enough that if it fails, you can fall back to whatever you were doing before (or try something new again).  I've been listening to the song Regret by Winery Dogs this morning, regret is a terrible thing.  You obviously have strong enough feelings to come out here and type up your feelings, go with them or you may regret not trying to live your dream.

[hefdaddy42]

You need to just do it.

[BlobVanDam]

If acting is your true passion, wouldn't you rather do it and maybe fail and have it remain as a hobby, than not even try at all? Go for it. YOLO etc.

[TempusVox]

A couple of thoughts here. If you truly want to act, then do it. But, it sounds like you want to be famous, or make a living out of it. They aren't mutually exclusive. To become a famous actor, takes an enormous amount of very hard work, thicker skin than an alligator, and an equal measure of luck. I know several actors. Some very famous, who seem to just be the luckiest people alive, and some who do very well for themselves who work harder at their craft than anyone I know.

I have an adopted brother who wanted to be a famous singer. He had moderate success in various bands. But he didn't work at it as hard as he could have. Why? Because being a famous musician was his end game. Not just a musician. Get it? As a result, he was never very happy, and had tremendous doubt. He was and still is an amazing singer. The light bulb finally clicked for him, when he let go of the famous, and focused on the singing. He took a job as a choir director at a church in Atlanta. He switched from singing RB to Gospel. He now is much in demand as church choir producer, and gospel singer. He's not a household named singer, but he makes a living and loves what he does everyday.

It's the same with writing . I have people come up to me all of the damn time and want to know how to be a famous writer. They tell me that they love to write, then ask me what it takes to be a popular writer. I usually tell them, when I am, I'll let them know. Then we laugh, and I usually give them the same answer I basically used to describe what it takes to be a famous actor. But if they really want to write...then write. It's the same advice I've given about writing to people on this site for years now. Just write. Just sing. Just perform. Just act.

If you go into it with the sole intent on being famous...whatever that means; then you will be grossly and severely disappointed.

Take an acting or drama class in school. Get into a community theater group. My wife and I go see community theater productions once in a while. I can tell you that there are many people there who are as talented as many people you see on film today. They are every bit as actors as well.

And lastly, don't beat yourself up over your vocation. You're still very young. I've worn many hats in my life. I hope to wear many more. But that's just me. The bottom line is follow your heart, you'll figure it out. No one elses heart or dream. Remember, it's called a first step, not a first leap, for a reason.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Also, two things.

1) Your family doesn't live in your head 24/7 like you do - the place where you secretly yearn for that which makes you happy.  The disappointment you think that they'll have shouldn't dissuade you.
2) Rick Moranis = 5'1".  You can be short and still be an actor.

[BlobVanDam]

Also, two things.

1) Your family doesn't live in your head 24/7 like you do - the place where you secretly yearn for that which makes you happy.  The disappointment you think that they'll have shouldn't dissuade you.
2) Rick Moranis = 5'1".  You can be short and still be an actor.

Danny Devito is 5'0 tall, and has always been pretty grotesque looking.

[Chino]

Also, two things.

1) Your family doesn't live in your head 24/7 like you do - the place where you secretly yearn for that which makes you happy.  The disappointment you think that they'll have shouldn't dissuade you.
2) Rick Moranis = 5'1".  You can be short and still be an actor.

Danny Devito is 5'0 tall, and has always been pretty grotesque looking.

Verne Troyer is 2'8".

[BlobVanDam]

Verne Troyer is 2'8".

But that gets into a niche territory, which isn't comparable.

[Tick]

Also, two things.

1) Your family doesn't live in your head 24/7 like you do - the place where you secretly yearn for that which makes you happy.  The disappointment you think that they'll have shouldn't dissuade you.
2) Rick Moranis = 5'1".  You can be short and still be an actor.

Danny Devito is 5'0 tall, and has always been pretty grotesque looking.

Verne Troyer is 2'8".

When I think small I think the brilliance of Peter Dinklage. Great actor against any size.

[vtgrad]

I'll echo Stadler and Tempus... just DO IT.  And I'll add something as well... No Fear, No regret, No Worries of what other people think or say; hold your head up, learn your craft (and never feel like you've learned that craft to it's fullest) and DO IT.

[npiazza91]

Thanks for the replies guys, really.  I think I'm just struggling with myself because it's easier to just sit and wait, get a degree in whatever and work a "typical" life.  It's easy.  And I know I'll be successful in Psychology.  But i don't want to be 80 years old thinking "I could have done this, I could have went for this".

But I'll definitely look into the drama school in my college.  Yes, I do eventually want to be a famous actor (in my fantasy at least), but I would honestly be satisfied doing it as a hobby.  It might sound weird but sometimes I act to myself when I'm bored.  I just love using emotion and body language to mimic someone else, where everyone in the room believes you, where nobody questions it.  For that moment, you ARE someone else, you have a separate life, separate memories.  It's fascinating.

It's both very thrilling and cathartic at the same time.  I would take any role and embrace it like it's the Bible. 

[reneranucci]

You need to just follow Dr. Tobias Fünke's method.

[Genowyn]

Even though there's a luck element you still need to work your ass off to succeed in these kinds of things. Successful people are those who have worked hard to be ready when that lucky break appears. Sadly, you may never get that lucky break, but it's frankly better to be ready for a break that never comes than to drop the ball if one comes your way.

[Stadler]

Thanks for the replies guys, really.  I think I'm just struggling with myself because it's easier to just sit and wait, get a degree in whatever and work a "typical" life.  It's easy.  And I know I'll be successful in Psychology.  But i don't want to be 80 years old thinking "I could have done this, I could have went for this".

But I'll definitely look into the drama school in my college.  Yes, I do eventually want to be a famous actor (in my fantasy at least), but I would honestly be satisfied doing it as a hobby.  It might sound weird but sometimes I act to myself when I'm bored.  I just love using emotion and body language to mimic someone else, where everyone in the room believes you, where nobody questions it.  For that moment, you ARE someone else, you have a separate life, separate memories.  It's fascinating.

It's both very thrilling and cathartic at the same time.  I would take any role and embrace it like it's the Bible.

I recognize fully that this sounds like a bumper sticker or one of those hideous memes that are all over Facebook, but I can back it up with multiple hard examples if need be:  NOTHING good comes easy.  NOTHING.    You reap what you sow.

I can't speak for you, but - good OR bad - I'm 47 going on 48, and I can honestly say that while I am lucky that I have few regrets, of those, I regret nothing I have done, but only the things I didn't do.

I disagree (slightly) with vtgrad, in that you WILL have fear, you WILL worry what others think, but you have to overcome.  Sure there are "fearless"** actors but you'd be surprised how many famous performers get stage fright, or are concerned with what others think.  That's normal.  The real trick is what you do with it.  Does it motivate you to be the best you can be?  Or does it overwhelm you and you end up sitting on your couch playing PS3 for hours?   

[Chino]

NOTHING good comes easy.  NOTHING.   

Idk. Kim Kardashian gets paid millions of dollars simply for existing.

[BlobVanDam]

NOTHING good comes easy.  NOTHING.   

Idk. Kim Kardashian gets paid millions of dollars simply for existing.

But she's not exactly self made. It was just someone else who put in the hard work instead.

The lesson here is if you can't make it on your own, ride someone else's coattails.

[Stadler]

NOTHING good comes easy.  NOTHING.   

Idk. Kim Kardashian gets paid millions of dollars simply for existing.

Whether you and I think it "hard work" or not is not withstanding; she didn't get there by sitting on her fat ass (see what I did there?) and wishing it would happen.   And no, I'm not joking; she did what she had to do to get there.   Whether you and I value it doesn't matter. 

[npiazza91]

Thanks for the replies guys, really.  I think I'm just struggling with myself because it's easier to just sit and wait, get a degree in whatever and work a "typical" life.  It's easy.  And I know I'll be successful in Psychology.  But i don't want to be 80 years old thinking "I could have done this, I could have went for this".

But I'll definitely look into the drama school in my college.  Yes, I do eventually want to be a famous actor (in my fantasy at least), but I would honestly be satisfied doing it as a hobby.  It might sound weird but sometimes I act to myself when I'm bored.  I just love using emotion and body language to mimic someone else, where everyone in the room believes you, where nobody questions it.  For that moment, you ARE someone else, you have a separate life, separate memories.  It's fascinating.

It's both very thrilling and cathartic at the same time.  I would take any role and embrace it like it's the Bible.

I recognize fully that this sounds like a bumper sticker or one of those hideous memes that are all over Facebook, but I can back it up with multiple hard examples if need be:  NOTHING good comes easy.  NOTHING.    You reap what you sow.

I can't speak for you, but - good OR bad - I'm 47 going on 48, and I can honestly say that while I am lucky that I have few regrets, of those, I regret nothing I have done, but only the things I didn't do.

I disagree (slightly) with vtgrad, in that you WILL have fear, you WILL worry what others think, but you have to overcome.  Sure there are "fearless"** actors but you'd be surprised how many famous performers get stage fright, or are concerned with what others think.  That's normal.  The real trick is what you do with it.  Does it motivate you to be the best you can be?  Or does it overwhelm you and you end up sitting on your couch playing PS3 for hours?

It definitely motivates me to be the best i can be.  I think that's why I don't feel very motivated in my life right now.  It's because the way I'm headed, while it's successful and it's what my family would be proud of, I know it's not what I ULTIMATELY want to end up doing.