It finally happened. Who wants to touch me?

[Chino]

Guys and Gals.

Last night, it finally happened. My girlfriend and I, who had also never done it before, slowly made our way to the couch. After a few minutes of getting everything prepared, the festivities began. I am of course referring to..... Star Wars. I am now a man. I have officially watched episodes IV and V. It is a glorious day.

[mrrct]

Congratulations, though if you made it this far (age 26) without watching them why didn't you hold out further?  Peer pressure, or did you want to see them before and just never got around to it?

Either way, I'll pass on the touching.

You can skip episodes, VI, I, and II.  They are nowhere up to the same standard.  Neither is III, although it is a good film (but not good enough to be on people's top 10 lists).

[King Postwhore]

Touch I must young padawan.

[gmillerdrake]

Guys and Gals.

Last night, it finally happened. My girlfriend and I, who had also never done it before, slowly made our way to the couch. After a few minutes of getting everything prepared, the festivities began. I am of course referring to..... Star Wars. I am now a man. I have officially watched episodes IV and V. It is a glorious day.

....and, your thoughts? I'm sure by this point there had to be some level of expectation on your part given everyone (including my 9,8 and 5yr old sons) has seen those and has an opinion.

[Phoenix87x]

That's a huge step in a relationship. 

Watch VI for closure of that trilogy and then go strait to VII. Don't bother with the prequel trilogy, those movies will only hurt you and you deserve better.

[Chino]

I have very mixed feelings.

I didn't think they were that great. They were good, don't get me wrong. I can totally see how back in the 70s, or even today with young children, these movies would blow minds. As a 26 year old seeing them for the first time, I didn't get the shock and awe value to really make it hit home.

I watched the remastered versions. I think that actually hurt my opinion on the films. I was really getting a kick early on. I was loving the crude effects and it was really cool seeing the scale of the sets and props that needed to be used. I had a lot of appreciation for that. Once CGI parts started rolling in, it lost a lot of its magic. You have costumes and props that look period next to an animal from what looks like a PS2 game. I found it really distracting. I would have rather seen the original releases.

[Cyclopssss]

I'd adjust the sound to muffle the grating screeching noise of Mark Hammil's incessant '3PO?!' '3PO!!' C3POOOO!!!!!!' 

[hefdaddy42]

I have very mixed feelings.

I didn't think they were that great. They were good, don't get me wrong. I can totally see how back in the 70s, or even today with young children, these movies would blow minds. As a 26 year old seeing them for the first time, I didn't get the shock and awe value to really make it hit home.

I watched the remastered versions. I think that actually hurt my opinion on the films. I was really getting a kick early on. I was loving the crude effects and it was really cool seeing the scale of the sets and props that needed to be used. I had a lot of appreciation for that. Once CGI parts started rolling in, it lost a lot of its magic. You have costumes and props that look period next to an animal from what looks like a PS2 game. I found it really distracting. I would have rather seen the original releases.

That's about what I figured your takeaway would be.

I agree with you, the special editions do not enhance the originals in any way.

[cramx3]

I have very mixed feelings.

I didn't think they were that great. They were good, don't get me wrong. I can totally see how back in the 70s, or even today with young children, these movies would blow minds. As a 26 year old seeing them for the first time, I didn't get the shock and awe value to really make it hit home.

I watched the remastered versions. I think that actually hurt my opinion on the films. I was really getting a kick early on. I was loving the crude effects and it was really cool seeing the scale of the sets and props that needed to be used. I had a lot of appreciation for that. Once CGI parts started rolling in, it lost a lot of its magic. You have costumes and props that look period next to an animal from what looks like a PS2 game. I found it really distracting. I would have rather seen the original releases.

That's about what I figured your takeaway would be.

I agree with you, the special editions do not enhance the originals in any way.

i was not a fan with the new Jabba.  And you should watch episode 6.  It's my personal favorite.  And if you like them and even plan on watching the new ones, you probably should just suffer through and watch episodes 1-3.  They get better, 1 is terrible, 2 is half shit, and 3 is actually decent.

[hefdaddy42]

I disagree, there is no real benefit to watching eps. 1-3, especially if he wasn't really taken by 4 & 5.

[King Postwhore]

Chino would rather finish watching Top Gun before ever watching Episode 1.

[BlobVanDam]

Watch 4/5/6, call it a day.

[hefdaddy42]

Watch 4/5/6, call it a day.

[cramx3]

But.... Count Dooku!

[Phoenix87x]

Watch 4/5/6, call it a day.

This

[Mister Gold]

But.... Count Dooku!

Count Dooku is the main villain of the first film that I ever outright hated as a child. I still maintain that Episode II is the worst in the series, even over the screw-up that is The Phantom Menace; starring Jar Jar "The Stereotype" Binks.

[Phoenix87x]

I can't even consider Dooku a villain. He sat around and talked for 90% of his time on screen. Talked in a flat and non-threatening manner. I could never get behind him like I did with Vader and Maul.

I have the utmost respect for Christopher lee too. Sarumon, which was a role around the same time period, was awesome, but under Lucas's direction, it was a waste of lee's potential IMO.

[gmillerdrake]

I can't even consider Dooku a villain.

It took all he  had to muster to fend off a Padawan. He wasn't threatening at all IMO

[cramx3]

I referenced him totally as a joke, he is a running joke in my circle of friends.  Just the name alone is ridiculous.

[orcus116]

You can skip episodes, VI, I, and II.

Nah man, Return Of The Jedi is great.

[JayOctavarium]

Watch 2/3.

NATALIE PORTMAN

[King Postwhore]

Watch 4/5/6, call it a day.

I'd add 3. The one good film of the latter films.

[BlobVanDam]

Watch 4/5/6, call it a day.

I'd add 3. The one good film of the latter films.

That movie was a chore from start to finish for me. All it achieved was to clunkily connect the mess of the PT to the OT. Most of it was tying up the blatantly obvious arcs of the PT, then it spends the last half hour lazily forcing everything into place for the OT in the most blunt and unnecessary way possible. The whole movie was predictable, because it already felt like you'd seen it and knew everything that was going to happen.
I don't know how anyone could rank it alongside the OT, aside from getting to finally see Vader and the other OT elements and characters.

The only PT movie I got any enjoyment from was ep 2, and that's only because it was so hilariously bad that it made for a great comedy. Ep 1 is a painful movie from start to finish unless you're under the age of 10, or were under the age of 10 when you first saw it and have rose tinted glasses of nostalgia. Ep 3 appears to be much better only because it's less awful by comparison, but it's still a very average movie at best. If the PT didn't have the Star Wars name attached to it, it all would have been forgotten by now.

That's my nerd rant for the day.



Until my next one.

[hefdaddy42]

I agree with Blob.  Nothing in the prequel trilogy rises to the level of the OT.

What sucks is that lots of things COULD have with not all that much effort.

[Zantera]

Star Wars is fascinating because as amazing as the original trilogy is, the prequel trilogy measures up to the same levels but in awfulness instead. Pure garbage. Attack of the Clones is definitely the worst, but there's nothing good to be found in the other two movies either. I guess if you want to see Natalie Portman dressed up in some weird BDSM outfits, Attack of the Clones might be worth the rental, if you fast-forward through everything else. I know some people defend the lightsaber battles of the prequel movies, but even those are dull. When you remove things like great characters, motivation and stakes, what you're left with is a cartoony over-the-top CGI extravaganza that goes on forever. The Obi vs Anakin lightsaber duel in Episode 3 is nowhere near as amazing as their duel in Episode 4, and the one in 3 goes on for 45 minutes and the one in 4 is just a minute or two.

[bosk1]

Chino, you have accidentally set yourself up for a better viewing experience than most of us had the chance for.

THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO:  Watch the remaining films in this order:  II, III, VI.  Skip I altogether.  This is what is known as "machete order."  A partial description is below.  I will also provide the link for anyone who wants to read the full post, which is actually really cool.  Chino, do not click the link.  There will be TONS of things in it that are spoilers for you.  Just...trust me on this.  Watch II, then III, then VI.  I am curious what you will think.

There is also a part of that article that I did not include that gives reasons for NOT including ep. I in that sequence.  I didn't include that part because you can't read it without spoilers.  But I was inclined to do this and include ep. I until I read it, and am now persuaded to try it without (which I intend to do over the holidays just before seeing the new one).

But what can you do if you do wish to involve the prequel trilogy? Maybe you're showing the films to a younger crowd that won't be able to appreciate and enjoy films with distractingly dated special effects. Maybe you don't want to spend the effort to download and burn your own discs, and purchasing the official Blu-rays is fine for you. Maybe you've accepted that the original theatrical editions are no longer considered canon, and you're a nerd that cares about things like that. Hell, maybe you actually like the prequels (seriously?).
 
Whatever your reason, if you are showing someone the official editions of Star Wars for the first time (no Phantom Edits), you have to make a decision about which order to show the films.
 
Two Options
 
There are two obvious options for watching the Star Wars saga.
  •Release Order - Watch the films in the order they came out, recreating your experience with the films for someone new to them.
 •Episode Order - Watch the films in the order George Lucas intends, starting with Episode I and going straight through to Episode VI
 
There are two critical flaws with both of these orders, unfortunately, that prevent either from being appropriate.
 
The problem with Episode Order is that it ruins the surprise that Vader is Luke's father. If you think that this reveal doesn't matter since it's common knowledge, I suggest you watch the looks on these kids' faces. This reveal is one of the most shocking in film history, and if a newcomer to the series has managed to avoid having it spoiled for them, watching the films in Episode Order would be like watching the ending of The Sixth Sense first.
 
The other problem with Episode Order is that the prequels don't really have a story. They're just background for the real story, which is Luke's attempt to destroy the Empire and save his father. Watching 3 films of backstory is boring if you've never seen the films they're the background to. Hell, that's why George Lucas made A New Hope first, he knew if he started with Episode I he'd never be able to complete the series. Starting someone off with Episode I is a surefire way to ensure they don't make it through the entire franchise.

Unfortunately, Release Order is also an instant failure, and the reason is a single shot. [deleted to avoid spoilers for Chino].
 
So neither order really works. What to do?
 
An Alternative Suggestion
 
How can you ensure that a viewing keeps the Vader reveal a surprise, while introducing young Anakin before the end of Return of the Jedi?
 
Simple, watch them in this order: IV, V, I, II, III, VI.
 
George Lucas believes that Star Wars is the story of Anakin Skywalker, but it is not. The prequels, which establish his character, are so poor at being character-driven that, if the series is about Anakin, the entire series is a failure. Anakin is not a relatable character, Luke is.
 
This alternative order (which a commenter has pointed out is called Ernst Rister order) inserts the prequel trilogy into the middle, allowing the series to end on the sensible ending point (the destruction of the Empire) while still beginning with Luke's journey.
 
Effectively, this order keeps the story Luke's tale. Just when Luke is left with the burning question "how did my father become Darth Vader?" we take an extended flashback to explain exactly how. Once we understand how his father turned to the dark side, we go back to the main storyline and see how Luke is able to rescue him from it and salvage the good in him.
 
 
 
The prequel backstory comes at the perfect time, because Empire Strikes Back ends on a huge cliffhanger. Han is in carbonite, Vader is Luke's father, and the Empire has hit the rebellion hard. Delaying the resolution of this cliffhanger makes it all the more satisfying when Return of the Jedi is watched.
 
Narratively, it's just like a movie that starts with a big opening, then fades to "2 years earlier" for most of the movie, until it catches up with the present time and concludes.
 
Introducing: Machete Order
 
Now I'd like to modify this into what I've named Machete Order on the off chance that this catches on because I'm a vain asshole.
 
Next time you want to introduce someone to Star Wars for the first time, watch the films with them in this order: IV, V, II, III, VI
 
Notice something? Yeah, Episode I is gone.
 
 
 
Episodes II and III aren't exactly Shakespeare, but standing next to the complete and utter trainwreck that is Episode I, they sure look like it. At least, III does anyway.
 
Episode I is a failure on every possible level. The acting, writing, directing, and special effects are all atrocious, and the movie is just plain boring. Luckily, George Lucas has done everyone a favor by making the content of Episode I completely irrelevant to the rest of the series. Seriously, think about it for a minute. Name as many things as you can that happen in Episode I and actually help flesh out the story in any subsequent episode. I can only think of one thing, which I'll mention later.
 
Every character established in Episode I is either killed or removed before it ends (Darth Maul, Qui-Gon, Chancellor Valorum), unimportant (Nute Gunray, Watto), or established better in a later episode (Mace Windu, Darth Sidious). Does it ever matter that Palpatine had an apprentice before Count Dooku? Nope, Darth Maul is killed by the end of Episode I and never referenced again. You may as well just start with the assumption that Dooku was the only apprentice. Does it ever matter that Obi-Wan was being trained by Qui-Gon? Nope, Obi-Wan is well into training Anakin at the start of Episode II, Qui-Gon is completely irrelevant.
 
Search your feelings, you know it to be true! Episode I doesn't matter at all. You can start the prequels with Episode II and miss absolutely nothing. The opening crawl of Episode II establishes everything you need to know about the prequels: a bunch of systems want to leave the Republic, they are led by Count Dooku, and Senator Amidala is a senator who is going to vote on whether the Republic is going to create an army. Natalie Portman is called Senator Amidala twice in the first 4 minutes of the movie, so there's no question of who's who.

https://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

[bl5150]

Unfortunately, Release Order is also an instant failure, and the reason is a single shot. [deleted to avoid spoilers for Chino].

Is it not possible to get the version we saw as kids without said shot?

[Chino]

Unfortunately, Release Order is also an instant failure, and the reason is a single shot. [deleted to avoid spoilers for Chino].

Is it not possible to get the version we saw as kids without said shot?

You talking about Jaba originally being a human and not a giant slug thing?

[bl5150]

Bosk1 implored you not to click on the link , so I won't be the one to ruin it .  But it's nothing to do with Jabba.  I haven't seen all these special versions and it sounds like I should be glad the more I read.

[Scorpion]

***SPOILERS!  CHINO--DO NOT READ!***






I remember being super young, not having seen any of the movies, and my cousin was just about to watch Revenge of the Sith, and he was so excited to find out whether Palpatine was the Emperor or not (we never actually talked about it afterwards, so I had no idea).

When I got around to watching them, I was mildly disappointed that it was pretty obvious from the beginning of the prequels that Palpatine had to be the Emperor and how shitty that twist was after I had built it up for years (because it must be pretty compelling if it can baffle my cousin, right? RIGHT?!).

EDIT: That is a pretty cool suggestion that bosk linked. I wish that I had done that, tbh.

[cramx3]

Definitely an interesting idea for a way to watch it and actually seems like it makes too much sense.

[bosk1]

Unfortunately, Release Order is also an instant failure, and the reason is a single shot. [deleted to avoid spoilers for Chino].

Is it not possible to get the version we saw as kids without said shot?

I don't believe so.  I think all the versions that are currently available have the modified shot.


Scrop, I put spoiler tags in your post because, if you watch in that order and skip ep. I, I think it isn't quite as obvious.  Don't wanna spoil it for Chino in case he actually follows the advice.

[Scorpion]

Oh, whoops, completely forgot about Chino for a sec there, thanks for that boss.

[JayOctavarium]

Chino,


You should watch in the Machete order.

Seriously

I want to hear someone's reaction to watching it all the first time in that order.

It just makes more sense.

Do it.

[hefdaddy42]

DO IT