The DTF Old As Mold Club v. 40 IS The New 30! Kids Stay Out!

[KevShmev]

I am guessing it is a combination of getting older and realizing that such trivial things don't register as much of a reaction or care and other issues in life being much more of a distraction/concern.  That is my short answer. 

[Harmony]

I think I'm turning into Larry David.   

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/26a0cb3b-3807-404c-8ef5-1fd169cd56c1/gif

[Cool Chris]

For me a lot of has to do with Covid. My company was shut down for months; my kid was shut out of her school for a year and couldn't go to birthday parties or play with her friends; my wife had to teach her special needs class from our kitchen table via a freaking Zoom meeting; I saw my parents less; and so on. Sometime in late 2020, when it seemed like me and my family were going to get through this one way or another, life started to take on a bit of a different meaning for me. And a large part of that was no longer giving a shit about many things that now seemed of less consequence.

[jingle.boy]

Anyone know if there is a correlation between getting older and giving less of a shit about things?

At first I thought it was just because I want/need to retire soon and so I stopped giving a shit about most things at work.

But now it is spilling into other areas of my life.  Is it just me?

It's not just you.  Trust me.

Well, Mrs.jingle and I are going thru a nice bout of depression each (largely external factors triggering it for each of us), but yeah …. We both have zero shits to give about the square root of fuck all.

[TAC]

Anyone know if there is a correlation between getting older and giving less of a shit about things?

At first I thought it was just because I want/need to retire soon and so I stopped giving a shit about most things at work.

But now it is spilling into other areas of my life.  Is it just me?

We have a whole subforum of P/R posts from you that show that you actually give a shit about quite a lot.

Maybe we just stop sweating the small stuff, and when we're winding down at work, inching closer to retirement, there's a certain sense at work of "it's not my problem". We spend most of our careers giving a shit, it's ok to pull that back a bit as you round third.




If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

[Harmony]

Anyone know if there is a correlation between getting older and giving less of a shit about things?

At first I thought it was just because I want/need to retire soon and so I stopped giving a shit about most things at work.

But now it is spilling into other areas of my life.  Is it just me?

We have a whole subforum of P/R posts from you that show that you actually give a shit about quite a lot.

Maybe we just stop sweating the small stuff, and when we're winding down at work, inching closer to retirement, there's a certain sense at work of "it's not my problem". We spend most of our careers giving a shit, it's ok to pull that back a bit as you round third.




If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

That's not real life!  LoL.  That's just like working on a crossword puzzle or knitting a toque!   

[wolfking]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

[jingle.boy]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

Maybe we fogeys are the ones that had it backwards all along.  As the old saying goes (went??), youth is wasted on the young.  Maybe they're taking that to heart, and not wasting their time being young with the 'grind' culture of work.

Just musing ....

[Kwyjibo]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

That's what I wanted to say too, but then I remembered, that when I was young, old folks would say the exact same thing about us, so maybe it's just a generational thing and the old just don't remember anymore how they were when they were young?

[lordxizor]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

That's what I wanted to say too, but then I remembered, that when I was young, old folks would say the exact same thing about us, so maybe it's just a generational thing and the old just don't remember anymore how they were when they were young?

Oh it definitely is. Every new generation has always been lazy, didn't want to work, and was going to be the downfall of society. Reality kicks in for the younger generation eventually. If you only want to do the work of a Peon I and refuse to go above and beyond to show your boss and company what you're capable of, you'll remain a Peon I for the rest of your life.

[Orbert]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

Maybe we fogeys are the ones that had it backwards all along.  As the old saying goes (went??), youth is wasted on the young.  Maybe they're taking that to heart, and not wasting their time being young with the 'grind' culture of work.

Just musing ....

This makes sense to me, actually.  I was able to do a lot of stuff in my teens and twenties that most people don't get to do, see things that most people don't get to see, and yeah some of them were pretty stupid/dangerous, but I'm glad I did them.  I think my life overall is richer for the experiences of my youth.

More on topic: I think that as we get older and have seen and done more, we realize that a lot of the things that seemed so important when we were younger just don't matter much in the big picture.  But we didn't realize it at the time, so it's not like we were wrong or stupid, just naive.

[wolfking]

Maybe it comes down to a personal thing, but even when I was 20, I believe I've always had the same work ethic back then that I do now.  I mean, I was happily at a stage at 21-22 working 7 days a week.  Didn't phase me.  These days, not many that age would even begin to fathom a heavy work week.

[pg1067]

I would say that there are far fewer things about which shits are given, and many things are different than they were 20-30+ years ago.

[KevShmev]

Maybe it comes down to a personal thing, but even when I was 20, I believe I've always had the same work ethic back then that I do now.  I mean, I was happily at a stage at 21-22 working 7 days a week.  Didn't phase me.  These days, not many that age would even begin to fathom a heavy work week.

Yep, I think a good work ethic is something you have to develop early.  I cut grass for two summers when I was 17 and 18, and at the same time, I was bussing tables a few nights a week.  I remember one day when I got home from cutting grass all day, and when I got out of the shower after getting home, the restaurant called to see if I could work a last minute shift since someone had called in, and I was like, yep, I'm there!  It was just the way I was raised. You get out there and you bust your ass.

Not trying to pick on my nephew, but he is almost 18 and still has never gotten a job.  My brother (his dad) is aggravated that he seems to have no inkling to want to work, and all I can think is, he is loafing at the age where he should be developing his work ethic.

[King Postwhore]

I work with a lot of young men who need to rehab their work life. Jumping from job to job every 6 months to s year. Never gaining any skills to add to the resume. Always thinking they are worth more than what they are paid.

I always talk to them and tell them what other managers are looking for,  growth.  Taking on responsibilities.   Longevity.  Moving up the ladder.

Then, you know they deserve more money. Put in your time. Build your resume. 

[XJDenton]

My beard is now 30% grey. Am I allowed to post here now?

[wolfking]

I work with a lot of young men who need to rehab their work life. Jumping from job to job every 6 months to s year. Never gaining any skills to add to the resume. Always thinking they are worth more than what they are paid.

I always talk to them and tell them what other managers are looking for,  growth.  Taking on responsibilities.   Longevity.  Moving up the ladder.

Then, you know they deserve more money. Put in your time. Build your resume.

I work with these sorts of young ones too, it's astounding.  Some think they are so important that just turning up and gracing me with their presence is enough to get paid yet still think they are underpaid.

[King Postwhore]

I ask what they've made before. It's always around the sane rate of pay.  Then I ask, how long they were at the job. See the correlation?

I show them examples of other employees who stayed until a big opportunity came. Give them encouragement,  and tell them that if they want to learn more, opportunity awaits them.

[King Postwhore]

My beard is now 30% grey. Am I allowed to post here now?

95% here. You are welcome. Lol

[wolfking]

I ask what they've made before. It's always around the sane rate of pay.  Then I ask, how long they were at the job. See the correlation?

I show them examples of other employees who stayed until a big opportunity came. Give them encouragement,  and tell them that if they want to learn more, opportunity awaits them.

But they don't want to work for anything.  They want everything now and simply don't want to put in the long haul, from what I see anyway.

[King Postwhore]

They are here at the rate we pay for a reason. Some jobs are stepping stones. You can tread water showing you think you know more or you can take the next step and learn more, take on responsibilities and step up to a better paying job.

It's not my 1st rodeo with reclamation projects. 

You get what you put into it.

[Stadler]

Anyone know if there is a correlation between getting older and giving less of a shit about things?

At first I thought it was just because I want/need to retire soon and so I stopped giving a shit about most things at work.

But now it is spilling into other areas of my life.  Is it just me?

It's definitely not you.   I don't know if it's "getting older" or a function of those other things that sort of happen as a coincidence of getting older, but it's definitely not you. 

I can't count the number of times I've looked around my house and seen things I've carried with me through divorces, moves and whatever, and thought to myself, "why the hell do I need that? I'm never going to use that ever again, and it means nothin to me."  It's actually a wierd feeling.   I've talked about it with my therapist.

[Stadler]

About six months ago, I did something I never, ever, thought I'd do. I stopped going to the barbershop/franchise haircutter, and have a monthly appointment with a family friend who is a hairstylist. My hair isn't difficult. I mean, it's your standard curly hair Italian thing. I keep it short. But to not have to wait for like 20 minutes to get it cut, or ask anyone to do it, it's like the best $40 a month I've ever spent. She charges 30, I give her 40, and I never have to wait, I'm in, I'm out, my hair looks good (at least as good as it can for us old fogeys), and I repeat...no waiting. Ever.

I was at this point six months ago where I told Mrs. Samsara that I was just going to have her start shaving my hair down to a 1 be done with it, just because I hated playing these games of being put on a list at Supercuts or GreatClips, or whatever run of the mill franchise is out there (or putting up with barbers who I just don't want to BS with). I went to like four different local places, on differing days of the week, and they were all like a 20 minute wait at minimum. I was done. Then my friend's soon-to-be daughter in law said she'd cut my hair, at the salon she rents a chair at, and I haven't looked back. Yeah, $40 a month for a short haircut is a little steep, but it's absolutely worth the saving of my time. Money well spent.

Bud, I bit the bullet on this, sort of, yesterday.  For the record, haircuts, dentists and doctors I have trouble finding someone I'm comfortable with, so I don't switch unless there is a really compelling reason.  I have been getting my hair done at a stylist, about 15 miles away, by a very talented woman, who is probably better served (financially and emotionally) by working on someone who needs her services.  You all have seen my haircut, it's nothing fancy.  Because of loyalty (longer story) I've stuck with her but it's a 25 minute drive, $41 for the service (plus tip) and another 25 minute drive back.  I had my standard appointment with her yesterday but had to cancel because of work.  Instead of rescheduling, I made an appointment for Monday at a local single-proprietor barber shop.  $19, out the door, and about six minutes away.  This is a big change for me (and not for nothing, I feel like I'm cheating on my stylist!)

[Stadler]

If anything, I feel like kids in their 20's are of the not giving a shit about work attitude. That's when you should give a shit about work, gain experience, climb "the ladder". They seem to have the order backwards.

Quoted for truth.

Maybe we fogeys are the ones that had it backwards all along.  As the old saying goes (went??), youth is wasted on the young.  Maybe they're taking that to heart, and not wasting their time being young with the 'grind' culture of work.

Just musing ....

This makes sense to me, actually.  I was able to do a lot of stuff in my teens and twenties that most people don't get to do, see things that most people don't get to see, and yeah some of them were pretty stupid/dangerous, but I'm glad I did them.  I think my life overall is richer for the experiences of my youth.

More on topic: I think that as we get older and have seen and done more, we realize that a lot of the things that seemed so important when we were younger just don't matter much in the big picture.  But we didn't realize it at the time, so it's not like we were wrong or stupid, just naive.

I think you know this, but "work ethic" and "giving a shit about things" are not the same thing. 

I don't give as much a shit as I did even two years ago, but when I DO care about something, my work ethic is as strong as it ever was (if not stronger in some ways).

I think the era for kids is different, no matter how old that makes me sound.   We - meaning my generation - were lazier than that which came before, but the requirements were still the same.   I STILL knew that I wasn't going to come out of school and be a Vice President, or I wasn't going to be an internet billionaire in six months.  I didn't walk to school, uphill both ways, in the snow, with no shoes on, like my mom and dad, but I also knew I had to DO something to be paid.  Get off my ass. Go outside.  My stepson at 15 still thinks that being a YouTube "creator" is a job description.  "Manny, do you want to do that for a living?"  "Yes!"  "Okay, we'll get you a GoPro for Christmas so you can start creating content."  "What?  I don't want to do that."    Are you serious?  You think it's going to fall from the tree? 

[XJDenton]

It's definitely not you.   I don't know if it's "getting older" or a function of those other things that sort of happen as a coincidence of getting older, but it's definitely not you. 

I can't count the number of times I've looked around my house and seen things I've carried with me through divorces, moves and whatever, and thought to myself, "why the hell do I need that? I'm never going to use that ever again, and it means nothin to me."  It's actually a wierd feeling.   I've talked about it with my therapist.

Honestly speaking, as I've got older I've just had to become more selective and efficient as to what I spend my energy and time on, because I just don't have the reserves that I did when I was 15-20. That includes caring about things. Emotional labour still takes energy out of you. The difficult part is not burning out so much that you stop caring about the big stuff.

[jingle.boy]

On the matter of the previous generation.... Follow the science as Stads would remind us 
 Kids these days: Why the youth of today seem lacking

what is particularly notable is the degree to which people’s belief that children are in decline was larger for people who excelled on the trait in question. This latter finding suggests the involvement of a person-specific self-comparison process whereby individuals compare themselves to today’s youth and find them especially lacking on those domains on which they themselves excel. This account, however, leaves open the question of why people fail to similarly denigrate the youth of the past. One possibility is biased memory; people routinely project their current selves onto their past selves (7)—such a memory bias may generalize to children of one’s own generation.

[hefdaddy42]

I think you know this, but "work ethic" and "giving a shit about things" are not the same thing. 

This is definitely true.

My oldest is currently attending NC State University here in Raleigh.  She basically doesn't give a shit about almost anything.  However, she dislikes "living off the teat", so to speak, so she got herself a job working third shift at a blood bank.  8pm-8am Friday and Saturday night, 8pm-2 am Sunday night.  Working her ass off ON THE WEEKEND.  Admirable, but I wouldn't do it lol

[Stadler]

On the matter of the previous generation.... Follow the science as Stads would remind us 
 Kids these days: Why the youth of today seem lacking

what is particularly notable is the degree to which people’s belief that children are in decline was larger for people who excelled on the trait in question. This latter finding suggests the involvement of a person-specific self-comparison process whereby individuals compare themselves to today’s youth and find them especially lacking on those domains on which they themselves excel. This account, however, leaves open the question of why people fail to similarly denigrate the youth of the past. One possibility is biased memory; people routinely project their current selves onto their past selves (7)—such a memory bias may generalize to children of one’s own generation.

I'm not sure that jives with me though; maybe I'm selling myself short here, but if I was to guess, my golden ticket, if I have one, is my intellect and my memory.  That's not uncommon these days.  But I think as our society gets "easier" - I don't mean in terms of success, I mean in terms of day to day; I don't have to get out of my chair anymore to turn the lights on, turn on my pellet stove, or adjust the TV - we're losing some of the essence of what got us here.  I think "entitlement" is the right word.  I don't recall growing up with any expectations.  Hopes, dreams, goals, yes, but expectations?  Entitlements?  Nope.

We had a freak October snow storm about ten years ago, up here in Connecticut.  Power was out for some people for upwards of 10 or 12 days.  "Survival" even then wasn't about keeping hearts beating, it was about "replacing what we had". Generators.  Companies (you know, those EVIL corporations!) opening their fitness centers so people could shower and charge their phones.   That's not survival. 

I get it; I know we want to be better than we were yesterday, and we should.  No question.  But we can't lose perspective doing it.  But I can't help seeing a lot of what gets complained about and what passes for "adversity" today and thinking "man, if the worst thing that ever happens to you is you get called "homo", or your disrespected because of your hair - hair YOU chose to wear - or you're called "fat" because, well, you are, in the grand cosmos of adversity, you're on the plus side. 

[lordxizor]

I've noticed since I turned 40 that I can no longer tolerate fake scents, particularly strong ones. Most men's products have generic artificial scents like "cool rush" or some other stupid nonsense name. Deodorant, shampoo, etc all seem to have the same two or three options. I don't even know what they're supposed to smell like. It just all smells fake and nasty to me. I'm trying to move to more natural scents, but that stuff is annoyingly expensive.

[Cool Chris]

I was big in to colognes when I was in my 20s. I went to dance clubs all the time and would sweat like a pig, and felt like cologne would help mask my musky order. I also just enjoyed smelling nice; I had low self-esteem with women and thought that if I wasn't attractive, fit, or wealthy, at least I could try and smell alluring.

Now I just settle for the least offensive deodorant, but will put a dash of cheap cologne on if I am going out with my wife.

[Podaar]

I'm the opposite. I wear cologne every day, well eau de toilette technically. My daily scent is always something very light and maybe a little citrusy like Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue. Just a spritz into the air, and walk under it...half an hour later no one can tell your wearing it unless they get very close. I have a collection of other, going out at night colognes as well, that are meant to pair with the clothing or event.

I won't bother you with further details, but I will say that not once have I ever regretted taking this extra step in my hygiene. I've had all manner of women comment favorably and even snuggle up to me, to my wife's eternal amusement.

[TAC]

Couple of swipes of deoderant under each pit, and I'm good to go.

[gmillerdrake]

Couple of swipes of deoderant under each pit, and I'm good to go.

Same....nothing fancy here.

[ProfessorPeart]

Hey, I'm a 'Cool Rush' guy. That's the scent of Degree Antiperspirant I wear, the 72 hour kind. I'm old and stinky. Has to be antiperspirant, deodorant alone does not get the job done.

I will admit I have no idea where they come up with the names. I pop the tops off in the store and take a big whiff. If I like it, I buy it.

[Stadler]

Couple of swipes of deoderant under each pit, and I'm good to go.

Same....nothing fancy here.

Me too.  I haven't worn a specific "cologne" in decades.