Dave Matthews Band (core member leaves the band on 2/2/18)

[KevShmev]

Poll now added to see if we can generate a little more chatter.

90's songs only.

[King Postwhore]

Voted.

[KevShmev]

Boyd Tinsley has left the band.

And announced it like 12 hours after tickets went on sale for their summer tour dates. 

[KevShmev]

https://www.tmz.com/2018/05/17/dave-matthews-band-violinist-boyd-tinsley-sued-sexual-harassment/

Ugly.  Just ugly.  And given that there are stories that he has been a creep for a long time, which the band knew about, this will stick to DMB for the duration.

[King Postwhore]

Damn.

[KevShmev]

Read the whole story:

https://consequenceofsound.net/2018/05/boyd-tinsley-misconduct-allegations/

Sickening.

[King Postwhore]

No thank you. I'm done with stories like that.

[El Barto]

So now grooming applies to adults? Seems to me that supplying gifts and affections to people in an effort to hopefully get into their pants has been common and accepted since we were barely upright. Frankly the dude sounds creepy as hell and I have no sympathy for him. There's no reason to distort things in an effort to make him seem even creepier, though, and if it's not a distortion and traditional aspects of courtship now garner the same language we use for child molestation, then we've become far, far more fucked up than I had realized.

[KevShmev]

I'm actually surprised more stories about rock stars haven't come out in the last year or so.  I think once a few more come out, the dominoes will fall and countless rock stars will be "exposed."

[gzarruk]

This is awful, I'm really glad he's out of the band now.

[cramx3]

So now grooming applies to adults? Seems to me that supplying gifts and affections to people in an effort to hopefully get into their pants has been common and accepted since we were barely upright. Frankly the dude sounds creepy as hell and I have no sympathy for him. There's no reason to distort things in an effort to make him seem even creepier, though, and if it's not a distortion and traditional aspects of courtship now garner the same language we use for child molestation, then we've become far, far more fucked up than I had realized.

Well most of the story seems like a groom, but there's one part:

Frost-Winn eventually dozed off. “I don’t know how long I was asleep, but when I came to, he was masturbating next to me while I was sleeping, and he had his hand on my ass,” he says. “He was climaxing.” Frost-Winn freaked out and ran to another part of the house while Tinsley followed after him; he eventually came back to the studio.

Which to me is where things went from a groom to a sexual assault.  I know it's only one side of the story, but thats the part of the story that makes me feel like this guy went too far and being labelled a "sexual predator" could be correct and not some exaggeration of the #metoo movement.

[Stadler]

But at what point does Frost-Winn become a culpable conspirator?  I realize that it's fact-dependent; if I basically treat you as a personal assistant, giving you gifts and access in exchange for, say, help in wardrobe or something, then one day you wake up with my weiner in your hand, but to el Barto's point, if we're not careful, the logical next step is that every divorce proceeding has a "sexual assault claim" built into it.    There's a point at which we have to look at Frost-Winn and say "you have some culpability here".  "Ten years" is a long time to not leave, and it's not as if The Crystal Garden was touring stadia. 

I read that story and felt very... dirty, and it wasn't just because Tinsley is a creep (he is) or a very, very confused man facing middle age and dealing with sexuality issues (he might be, who knows).    But I found the statement by DMB/Dave to be very telling.  That band doesn't know what to make of this.  They're clearly trying to be sensitive to a good chunk of their audience (young, liberal hippies) but it's clear they're not 100% on board with anything other than their guy being a rock star.   A weird rock star, but a rock star.   And where does the "shark incident", and any of four or five rumors about Freddie Mercury and Elton John fit in with this?  What's worse?  Asking a dude for his dirty socks, or sodomizing a groupie with a mud shark?