A Curious Question v. What would you have done?

[JayOctavarium]

Tick has a neighbor who is stuck on the phone with FedEx trying to figure out where the manikin is that he ordered a few days ago. "You said it was guaranteed yesterday by 8:30! No... if it was delivered... I WOULDN'T BE CALLING YOU!... What? no.... none of my neighbors have it either. Yea.. I trust them. Especially that (Tick) guy. He would have held on to it for me..."

Nope, not the case. Got him on camera.

Ah.... well... I've got nothing.

[rumborak]

It's kind of a shame that society has gotten to the point where not only are we afraid to open the door, but we won't even try to establish communication through it.

And what's particularly interesting is, it's not for particularly good reason. By most measures, crime is down to an all-time low.

[Podaar]

No doubt. This book is a fine read if anyone would like to explore what rumborak is talking about. The Better Angels of our Nature

In my neighborhood someone is more likely to be assaulted because they knocked on a door after dark than they are likely to suffer a  home invasion.

[rumborak]

We're so hipster up here in MA, the most likely cause of personal injury probably comes from insulting the Red Sox, and the injury would come from a lukewarm Grande Mocha Frappucino being thrown in your face.
We're also so decidedly heathen that we rarely get any Jesus Freaks at our door. They're probably afraid that by the end of the street they're agnostic

[Podaar]

 

That does it, I'm moving to Massachusetts.

[Tick]

No doubt. This book is a fine read if anyone would like to explore what rumborak is talking about. The Better Angels of our Nature

In my neighborhood someone is more likely to be assaulted because they knocked on a door after dark than they are likely to suffer a  home invasion.

Even if that is the case, so what? If I have a 1% chance of my family being in danger its 1%. I would prefer to avoid by not answering the door. All it takes is a fluke where you open the door and someone with a gun forces there way in to your home
No unannounced visitors at night, period.
and as I said, I have a camera that showed this was not a Fed Ex driver delivering a package.

[vtgrad]

Maybe you should have had your wife stand by the door with a rolled up magazine... worked for Kramer.  Or the phone book if it's thick.

When I was 18, I happened to be home alone during the day and two younger boys (maybe 14-15) came to our door selling donuts for school (they had donut boxes); having been in that situation before myself, I answered the door (big door was open, glass door was closed so they could see me in the house) and said, "Sure, I'll buy a box.  Stay here on the porch and I'll get some cash for you".  I proceeded in the door, the door shut, and one of the guys opened the door and came on in; when I heard the door open, I immediately went into "Rambo" mode (as my Mom called it) and asked the boy in a very polite VERY LOUD voice "what are you doing?  I told you to stay outside; GO OUTSIDE"  He proceeded to stand there an just look at me; he said nothing.  I noticed that the other boy was no longer on the porch.

I promptly grabbed my key from the table beside the door, escorted the silent boy (see what I did there?) outside, and shut the locked house door behind me.  I looked the boy in the eye and said "now lets go find your friend".  He took-off running and I went to the back of the house were I saw the other boy trying to open our (locked; thankfully) garage door.  I said (again in a very loud voice) "you'll need the key for that".  He promptly took off running as well.

I called the cops and reported it.  Turns out these two had used the same trick a few times in our neighborhood that afternoon; and they were actually caught using that trick on a Sheirff's Deputy... who was home at the time (meaning his cruiser was parked in the driveway.  Stupid is as Stupid does.

The point?  That experience made me change the way that I answer the door when I do not know the person regardless of the time of day.  I do answer the door, but I'm usually armed (concealed) and I'm polite and soft spoken.  I look back on how I handled that situation; had I not been older than those boys, or had one of them been larger than me, I could have gotten my a$$ kicked by challenging them the way I did.

BTW, I've been asked for everything from a spoon (really) to a roll of paper towels (I guess to clean up the mess made by not having a spoon).

[Podaar]

No doubt. This book is a fine read if anyone would like to explore what rumborak is talking about. The Better Angels of our Nature

In my neighborhood someone is more likely to be assaulted because they knocked on a door after dark than they are likely to suffer a  home invasion.

Even if that is the case, so what? If I have a 1% chance of my family being in danger its 1%. I would prefer to avoid by not answering the door. All it takes is a fluke where you open the door and someone with a gun forces there way in to your home
No unannounced visitors at night, period.
and as I said, I have a camera that showed this was not a Fed Ex driver delivering a package.

I'm not judging Tick. In fact, my first post in this thread was praising the idea that one has a choice to answer, or not. I think you would be a fool not to recognize the potential danger and act accordingly (see the post above by vtgrad). The thread title asks what you would do, and I've said I would answer the door in hopes that I could help someone in need. That's my way but I don't expect anyone else to agree.

Still, I also like to factor in the fact that Rumborak points out. Statistically speaking (per capita), there is no safer time in history to answer your door than now (depending on where you live, of course)

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I have a camera that showed this was not a Fed Ex driver delivering a package.

I wasn't there, but I insist that I know better.  It was totally a Fed Ex driver.

Also:



Possibly it was lens flare?

Seriously though, I probably would turn the lights on all over the person and open the inner door and speak to them through the outer door to see what they want.

[Tick]

I have a camera that showed this was not a Fed Ex driver delivering a package.

I wasn't there, but I insist that I know better.  It was totally a Fed Ex driver.

Also:



Possibly it was lens flare?

Seriously though, I probably would turn the lights on all over the person and open the inner door and speak to them through the outer door to see what they want.

One could certainly go that route, but because I don't give a fuck what they want and they are at my doorstep unannounced and uninvited they can pound sand and move on. If its June and its 8:15 its still daylight and MAYBE I treat the situation different but in all honesty, probably not.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I think my rationale behind it would be to make some sort of judgement as to whether or not I feel like it's someone up to no good, i.e. someone who may choose to come back later when I'm not home (or worse, when I am), or if it's someone trying to sell something or in need of help.  While that distinction is not always clear, most people tend to pick up the vibe if someone is acting at all "off", which would give you some sort of credible information to give police, if it turns out later that the person hit up my house or someone else's house.  Then you've at least got a description and possibly a voice to give the police, some info on his demeanor, or mannerisms.  Anything, really.

That said, I also completely get your rational for saying they can go piss up a rope.  Tough call.

[hefdaddy42]

I would probably at least communicate with them instead of ignore them.  If it turned out it really was someone who needed help, and I found out later that they took a turn for the worse, I would feel awful.

[rumborak]

One could certainly go that route, but because I don't give a fuck what they want and they are at my doorstep unannounced and uninvited they can pound sand and move on.

Obviously your choice, but a rather lamentable attitude. Life, to a good amount, is about *making* it a better place, not waiting until it becomes one.

[Tick]

One could certainly go that route, but because I don't give a fuck what they want and they are at my doorstep unannounced and uninvited they can pound sand and move on.

Obviously your choice, but a rather lamentable attitude. Life, to a good amount, is about *making* it a better place, not waiting until it becomes one.

My home, my domain, my call. As I said, unannounced, uninvited...not welcome in night time hours. 2:00 in the afternoon and I would have a perspective where I don't feel all that threatened.

I'm not saying my approach is the right one, its just mine. We all handle things in our own way. I don't feel guilty about not answering the door to someone ringing my bell uninvited in the evening when my family is home.

[Chino]

What if it was the aliens coming back to attempt second contact?

[Chino]

One could certainly go that route, but because I don't give a fuck what they want and they are at my doorstep unannounced and uninvited they can pound sand and move on.

Obviously your choice, but a rather lamentable attitude. Life, to a good amount, is about *making* it a better place, not waiting until it becomes one.

I'm not saying my approach is the right one, its just mine. We all handle things in our own way. I don't feel guilty about not answering the door to someone ringing my bell uninvited in the evening when my family is home.

Just curious, would you have opened it if you were home by yourself?

[bout to crash]

it also depends where you live; in Philly, many of the row houses have intercoms, so you can have the sort of conversation that needs to be had to figure out what's what, though even that isn't fool proof, because if someone wants in your home for nefarious reasons, they are obviously not above lying to you through the intercom.  There it was easy because I could poke my head out on the second floor balcony.

Yeah, we have an intercom but I never answer mine unless I'm expecting company... the reason being that when someone is trying to get into my building and they press the directory button, my apartment comes up first- so people just press the "call" button hoping I will randomly let them in, which is not fucking happening. Last weekend someone called me on the intercom at something like 3:45 AM. There is no way in hell I'm even answering that- if the person IS trying to get into the building for bad reasons and I say no, they now know which apartment I live in, etc. I also have an outstanding camera speeding ticket that's only legit if it's hand-delivered to me, so another reason not to answer  the buzz

Tick has a neighbor who is stuck on the phone with FedEx trying to figure out where the manikin is that he ordered a few days ago. "You said it was guaranteed yesterday by 8:30! No... if it was delivered... I WOULDN'T BE CALLING YOU!... What? no.... none of my neighbors have it either. Yea.. I trust them. Especially that (Tick) guy. He would have held on to it for me..."

 

This actually reminds me of something my brother told me last night. He and his wife had ordered a bunch of stuff from Soap.com. UPS came to deliver it, and my sister-in-law saw them drop the package off but was busy with something else at the time and didn't grab it right away. When she came to grab it, it was gone. They were able to get the package replaced free of charge, but they then started to notice that every time the UPS truck came down the street, there was a white van behind it. They're pretty sure this van is following the UPS guy and taking packages from porches. It was there again then the stuff got re-delivered. Crazy.

Third, we live in an age where everyone has a phone to call for assistance, and many have Triple A if it’s a car issue. So call a family member or AAA.

The problem with this assumption is that cell phones die all the time, or people forget them, or whatever. I've locked my keys in my car twice. Both times, I also locked my phone in there. Both times, I had to borrow someone else's phone to call State Farm roadside assistance. Luckily it was daytime and in one case I was at the store so I just used theirs, but if I had been in a residential neighborhood I would've had to count on someone's kindness/willingness to open the door.

[Tick]

One could certainly go that route, but because I don't give a fuck what they want and they are at my doorstep unannounced and uninvited they can pound sand and move on.

Obviously your choice, but a rather lamentable attitude. Life, to a good amount, is about *making* it a better place, not waiting until it becomes one.

I'm not saying my approach is the right one, its just mine. We all handle things in our own way. I don't feel guilty about not answering the door to someone ringing my bell uninvited in the evening when my family is home.

Just curious, would you have opened it if you were home by yourself?

Probably not but certainly a better chance I may have. Not with my girls home though. Nope.

[Chino]

Maybe the guy just really had to poop.

[Stadler]

^^^ Yeah, I'm a door opener, but THAT is not happening.   I'll spot you a roll of TP and take it to someone else's property, but a complete stranger is not laying cable in my bathroom. 

[hefdaddy42]

^^^ Yeah, I'm a door opener, but THAT is not happening.   I'll spot you a roll of TP and take it to someone else's property, but a complete stranger is not laying cable in my bathroom.

[Tick]

it also depends where you live; in Philly, many of the row houses have intercoms, so you can have the sort of conversation that needs to be had to figure out what's what, though even that isn't fool proof, because if someone wants in your home for nefarious reasons, they are obviously not above lying to you through the intercom.  There it was easy because I could poke my head out on the second floor balcony.

Yeah, we have an intercom but I never answer mine unless I'm expecting company... the reason being that when someone is trying to get into my building and they press the directory button, my apartment comes up first- so people just press the "call" button hoping I will randomly let them in, which is not fucking happening. Last weekend someone called me on the intercom at something like 3:45 AM. There is no way in hell I'm even answering that- if the person IS trying to get into the building for bad reasons and I say no, they now know which apartment I live in, etc. I also have an outstanding camera speeding ticket that's only legit if it's hand-delivered to me, so another reason not to answer  the buzz

Tick has a neighbor who is stuck on the phone with FedEx trying to figure out where the manikin is that he ordered a few days ago. "You said it was guaranteed yesterday by 8:30! No... if it was delivered... I WOULDN'T BE CALLING YOU!... What? no.... none of my neighbors have it either. Yea.. I trust them. Especially that (Tick) guy. He would have held on to it for me..."

 

This actually reminds me of something my brother told me last night. He and his wife had ordered a bunch of stuff from Soap.com. UPS came to deliver it, and my sister-in-law saw them drop the package off but was busy with something else at the time and didn't grab it right away. When she came to grab it, it was gone. They were able to get the package replaced free of charge, but they then started to notice that every time the UPS truck came down the street, there was a white van behind it. They're pretty sure this van is following the UPS guy and taking packages from porches. It was there again then the stuff got re-delivered. Crazy.

Third, we live in an age where everyone has a phone to call for assistance, and many have Triple A if it’s a car issue. So call a family member or AAA.

The problem with this assumption is that cell phones die all the time, or people forget them, or whatever. I've locked my keys in my car twice. Both times, I also locked my phone in there. Both times, I had to borrow someone else's phone to call State Farm roadside assistance. Luckily it was daytime and in one case I was at the store so I just used theirs, but if I had been in a residential neighborhood I would've had to count on someone's kindness/willingness to open the door.

Jackie, to address the portion of the post addressed to me...
If you came to my door looking for help you have a great shot at me answering the door to assist you, but a dude is out of luck. Sorry.

[El Barto]

Jackie, to address the portion of the post addressed to me...
If you came to my door looking for help you have a great shot at me answering the door to assist you, but a dude is out of luck. Sorry.

Well, depends on whether she's dressed as the pervy nun or some other crazy freak-weirdo. 

[Chino]

If she was dressed as a Na'vi, I'd probably let her in.

[hefdaddy42]

If she was dressed as a Na'vi, I'd probably let her in.

If I were dressed as a Na'vi, you'd probably let me in.

[bosk1]

[lucky7]

I would have reacted the same way. You would assume if it was someone you know they would have called out, and also if it was someone who needed help they would have called out as well.
Maybe reaction comes down to whether you have a family at home, have an outer security door between you and the person etc.
If it was a delivery guy they would leave a card at your door.

I have to be honest I feel that way during the day sometimes....just yesterday I had a knock at the door at about 2pm, it was a guy 6 foot tall and when I opened it I recognized him it was Geoff Shaw (anyone who lives in Melbourne Australia would know the name, he is a State Member for Frankston, we have elections coming up in November....first MP I have heard of going door to door)

I think with what we hear on the news, read in books and see in the movies it is hard to trust people knocking on your door late at night.

Recently I sold some books/dvd's that meant buyers were coming into my home, one guy was great he had worked in the music industry and through injury was meant to be homebound so he purchased my copy of the dirt, guns n Roses, powderfinger etc he spent $100 and spent an hour chatting he was really nice...then an hour later another guy was really creepy and I couldn't get him to leave...finally he did but it really put me off advertising anything else.....after the donut story I think I will stop.

So did the guy stay there for long or just walk away?      Main thing is you are safe. 

[MiracleSleeper]

lol, I actually rang the doorbell of a stranger's house the other week. Luckily for me, I look 12, so it's I'm not too intimidating. Person probably thought I was like a boyscout or something.

[Neon]

I'd probably answer it if it was daytime.  But definitely not answering it at night. 

[TempusVox]

Maybe the guy just really had to poop.

About 4 years ago when my son was 13, we were driving in a semi-rural area on a two-lane state highway. We came through a residential area and came upon a very serious accident. EMS and the local police and fire were already at the scene. Traffic had been light, but after we stopped began to back up behind us. There was no way for us to turn around. There was an embankment to our left, and a guy in a 4x4 truck tried it, and actually rolled his truck, which necessitated that EMS and the police now check on him (he was okay) and had to deal with his dumb ass now too. They were extricating someone from one of the vehicles. As we waited, and waited, my son says "Dad, I really have to go to the bathroom, and I can't hold it." I didn't have anything for him to pee in, and seeing as how it was in broad daylight with no woods or vegetation around, I suggested he ask one of the people who had come outside to watch the accident clean-up and rescue. So he climbs out of the car, and asks one of the people standing around. He was 13, and they were very obliging. They let him into their home through the side door, and then they all (about 5 of them) walked over and sat on their patio outside by the door. Well, I sat there, and sat there. They got the person out, and loaded them into the helicopter, and I'm still sitting there. They moved all the cars, and still....no son. I'm starting to wonder if something happened to him. Traffic began to move, and then all of a sudden, here comes my son tearing out of the "FRONT DOOR" of the house, and sprinting towards the road. The people were still sitting outside, probably thinking he was still in their bathroom. He hops in the car as we started to move. I leaned out and yelled, "Thanks!" and waved, and they waved back, and I turned to him and was like, ''What the hell was going on?" He said ,"I had to poop, then the toilet got clogged; and I couldn't find a plunger so I just washed my hands and ran!"  OMG!! I thought he had to pee!! "Well at least you washed your hands..." was about all I could say. Tick, so sorry that happened to you. My son didn't mean for you to NEVER help a stranger in need ever again. Now we know, that was your house!

[sneakyblueberry]

I was going to say something criticising the whole 'not answering the door without some kind of protection' but I realised I have a baseball bat handy for the same exact purpose.  Things aren't as drastic around here, usually.  Although I did read a couple months ago about a woman on my street who had someone knock on her door, she opened it and he forced his way in. 

I never would've come into this world if I knew I needed a weapon to open the front door.  Fuck.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about and why I'd rarely open it. Also, I've seen Funny Games 

[Chino]

I never would've come into this world if I knew I needed a weapon to open the front door.  Fuck.

You don't need one. Movies, television, and modern media have convinced you that you do.

[sneakyblueberry]

I never would've come into this world if I knew I needed a weapon to open the front door.  Fuck.

You don't need one. Movies, television, and modern media have convinced you that you do.

I disagree.  I think it's more mine and my families experiences that convince me. 

A really close friend of ours, 19 year old girl, was home alone during the day when a guy just walked into her home and attacked her with a hockey stick when he realised someone was home.  This was three houses down from where we lived. 

One time I got blocked off from getting into my street (the same property as above) by some cops as they had a report of some guy running around the street with a gun (guns aren't as commonplace here as they are in the states).  I had to go and wait at my mother in laws house while my wife and baby were at home, which was fucking terrible as you can imagine (not the mother in law part ).

This is in Australia, but just last night my wife was telling me that her brother, his son and his son's girlfriend were attacked by a group of young guys while walking home, in broad daylight.  It was a racially motivated attack.  Reason #1 why I will never move there, despite a lot of my family joining the mass exodus from NZ to Aus; I feel like there's a deep seated racism in Australia that I've experienced firsthand and I worry for my family over there, constantly.  Of course it may be a few bad apples spoiling it for the good people, but from what I've seen its not a place I would feel safe in.  Perhaps if I were a white man I'd be fine, but I stopped wishing I was Stone Cold Steve Austin years ago.

tl;dr: the threat is very real, so while I would most probably open the door to a stranger, I would do it with extreme caution... with a baseball bat handy. 

"Certainly in the topsy turvy world of rock and roll, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is quite often useful" - Ian Faith.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, exactly. It's not paranoia- shit like that happens every day, unfortunately.

PS, Tick- how long have you had that terrifying avatar??