Ugh guys, I had a shitty experience with a dude from the movie theater I frequent. Long story ahead:
It started out really promising- he gave me his number and we were texting a LOT. Things got sexy and whatnot via text (including, btw, him telling me things like he was jerking off thinking about me) and I was all like "When we hanging out??" That's when shit got weird. He kept avoiding making plans with me, and ended up cancelling a couple times when we did. He is going through a divorce and I get that can be weird, BUT also turns out he's dating someone "casually" and isn't sure if she is expecting monogamy or not. Most of you know I'm not a monogamous person so him dating other people wasn't an issue but obviously the absence of any kind of conversation about expectations in their relationship was a problem. I suggested he talk to her about it or stop wasting my time, but of couse he wasn't willing to do that. He thought he could just kind of keep me around as backup and spank bank material (he actually had the nerve one day, after flaking on me when I invited him out, to look at my pic on instagram and say "You looked so hot last night"- eww).
We made plans one more time for Tuesday after I had aired my grievances about the situation, including him being flaky... well, of course he cancelled at the last minute, citing having too much "respect" for me and because he would feel bad if something happened between us. I told him bye. He said "come onnnn" and the next day "Dude, you unfriended me?" I told him I had good reason to do so. He said he was hoping he could be friends, lol... I told him I didn't want to, and he acted confused.
Sooo I finally decided to go off on him yesterday, and this was the conversation:
"Okay, I do not think you are as dumb as you are playing right now, but I will spell it out for you: You gave me your number and then proceeded to spend over a week texting me constantly, flirting, asking me about things like kinks and favorite sexual positions, asking for photos, telling me you wanted to bend me over a counter and jerked off to me multiple times, and so on... all while in a presumed-to-be monogamous relationship that you failed to mention at the start. When I tried to hang out with you in that same period of verbal green lights, you avoided committing to anything, stopped texting me mid-conversation, and cancelled plans several times. When I put my feelings out there about all this and questioned the purpose of continuing to talk, you swore you weren't trying to jerk me around and didn't want to friend-zone me. After saying that, you cancelled on me again at the last minute and told me... you want to be friends.
What the fuck basis for a friendship do we have?
My head has been messed with and my time wasted. If you honestly cannot see that, you are either a sociopath or have the emotional IQ of a child with no insight into your own actions and how they affect other people. The only reason I didn't tell you to fuck off was because I knew I would have to interact with you in the future and I'm trying to be mature about this. You had the nerve to use the word "respect" with me when you have shown pretty much zero respect for my time, my feelings, or my fucking existence. I'm done expending those things and done with this conversation."
"Well, I humbly apologize. I recall you saying that monogamy wasn't your thing. And I do like you, despite what you think. I'm just not good at any of this. Im for real sorry"
"No, it isn't, but my preferences on monogamy have nothing to do with the level of respect and consideration I deserve as a fellow human being. Point missed. Again, I no longer want to have this conversation. Peace."
"Can we start over?"
Holy shit. I can't believe he asked that. Needless to say I did not reply, but wow. Yep, emotional IQ of a child. I am so fucking done with this bullshit.